


The Deca (Series One)

by Taegan Ulhana (Barnable)



Series: The Deca [1]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms
Genre: Academy Era, But It's Okay We Love Them Anyway, Fluff, Friendship, Gallifrey, Gallifreyan Culture (Doctor Who), Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I'm Not Going to Spoil Them For You, Mischief, Not Beta Read, Prydonian Academy (Doctor Who), Relationships Are Slow Burn, Scendeles Are Trash, Seriously They Get Into a Lot of Trouble, Tags Are Hard, Teen Angst, The Deca - Freeform, The Deca Needs More Love, The Friendship is More Important Anyway, The Headmaster Really Hates Them, Time Lords and Ladies, episodic, sitcom style, time lord academy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-24
Updated: 2019-07-06
Packaged: 2019-11-29 05:35:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 163,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18218900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Barnable/pseuds/Taegan%20Ulhana
Summary: The Deca was a group of ten young and rebellious Gallifreyan acolytes at the Prydonian Academy who believed they could change the universe, and were almost destined to do so. Unfortunately, they were going to have to make it through school first.((Otherwise known as an episodic series depicting the Deca's time at the Academy, which is both quite humorous and quite dramatic.))





	1. An Introduction to the Deca

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The story of how the Deca came to be.

On Gallifrey, life did not truly start for anyone until they reached the age of eight years old.

It was a tiny number for the Time Lords, an age where they had not even hit the double-digits, never mind the triple ones, which was exactly why they did the first ceremony then. During the third stage of infancy, children were very impressionable, and they did not yet know how to hide their emotions. This was optimal for the ceremony, as they needed to see the time tots’ true feelings about what they saw inside of the untempered schism. At their age, as hard as they might have tried, there was not a chance that the children could fake their reactions. If they could, none of them would have run away.

Though their initial reaction shouldn’t have mattered, many time tots kept theirs a secret. Running away in particular was always looked down upon, despite that being the most natural response. The children used to say that if you ran away, it proved that you were an ape. It proved that you were not strong enough to hold up in Time Lord society.

That was, of course, not true. It was just something that they spread around during primary school—the next step of the journey.

Gallifreyan primary school was not segregated like the rest of their society. They were there for such a short time (thirty-seven years) that it seemed worthless to bother splitting the children apart and attempting to explain why they did so right off of the bat. Instead, they taught them about the different political parties throughout the years, slowly separating friends and allowing the segregation to happen naturally.

By the time the students moved into the Time Lord Academy, where they were all appropriately biased towards their own party and had little to no desire to interact with the other ones socially. This was especially reinforced in the Academy, as their classes were split apart, and they were forced to sleep in separate buildings.

One year, at the Prydonian branch of the Academy, the Headmaster decided to do something new, as a reward for good students, and a drive for students who lacked in intellectual ability. They created an elite group of ten students, all of which had gotten the highest marks on a special test passed out to every student in the school. This elite group was eventually known as the Deca.

At first, the group seemed to be working effectively. Most of them weren’t really friends, and they were only together for academic reasons. Other people were also driven to join the group, hoping to receive the same privileges that the members of the Deca had—such as the five best dorm rooms.

After a year had gone by, they handed out the tests again and one member of the Deca was replaced. The replacement student did not last three days, as the members of the Deca had become quite fond of their little group and did not allow anyone else to join. Within the first two days of the member’s replacement, the new student was out and their original member was back in.

The group had become somewhat corrupt after that. As the years went by, the Headmaster stopped handing out tests, eventually realizing that the Deca could not be modified; even though some of the members’ grades had begun to sink, proving that they were no longer the smartest ten students in their year.

After several years, the Deca was no longer regarded as the ten smartest students at the Prydonian Academy, but instead, just another clique that roamed the halls.

And that is where our story begins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All stories in "The Deca" have been translated from Gallifreyan. As the language has no direct human equivalent, there may be some mistranslations and/or interesting slang in the following chapters. Because "The Deca" is quite humorous anyway, there have been no attempts to rectify this situation.


	2. Pilot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drax, Koschei, and Theta boycott breakfast. Vansell blames Rallon for his lost phone. Magnus listens to stupid people rant.

The outwardly teenage girl strode down the deep red hallway, her shoulders back and her head held high. She would never allow her strong posture to drop, as she had been taught from a young age that it was a sign of both laziness and weakness. She flipped her long, dark brown hair over her shoulder, then returned her hands to their place behind her back. Her dark red Prydonian robes were resting perfectly on her slim body, the golden trim shining just a bit because of the light. Though her face was that of a professional poker player, her dark brown eyes were so obviously annoyed that even she could not hide it. Once she reached dorm number eleven, she stopped walking and began to pound on the door.

At first no one answered. She was getting ready to shout when the door suddenly opened. A boy around her age (but looking slightly younger) opened it, his hazel eyes staring up at her. It wasn’t a long way up he had to look, but he was about three inches shorter than her. He was not so professionally dressed either, and wore simple dark blue pajamas, his dirty blond hair a complete and utter mess.

“Good morning,” he said brightly, flashing his teeth with a friendly smile. “What brings you into our little room so early in the morning, Ushas?”

Ushas rolled her eyes. “I’m not in the mood for games right now, Theta Sigma. Where’s Koschei? You guys need to get up.”

“He’s still asleep.”

Koschei was Theta’s roommate. They had even more of a height difference between them, as Koschei was about six inches taller than Theta. In fact, despite them being best friends, the two were basically polar opposites. Koschei had solid black hair, while Theta’s was a darker blond; Koschei made messes all over, while Theta was obsessively clean; Koschei was terrible at art, and Theta was brilliant at it. They did have some things in common, however, such as the fact that neither of them were prime students, despite being in the most prestigious clique in the school—the Deca.

“He’s still asleep?” Ushas fumed, staring at Theta in disbelief. He simply nodded in response. “It’s practically the middle of the afternoon!”

Theta glanced at the golden watch around Ushas’s wrist. “It’s seven-thirty in the morning, Ushas.”

In Ushas’s personal time zone, that was basically the middle of the afternoon. She was incredibly practical and found that if she got up in the early morning while everyone was asleep it was far easier to get things done, as she had little to no distractions. This was optimal for her, as she was a scientist at heart and spent hours each day prepping and testing experiments. It was no doubt she was the smartest person in her year—possibly even in the whole of the Academy.

“That means classes start in half an hour.”

“Exactly,” said Theta. “Half an hour. We don’t have to get up yet if we still have a half an hour.”

Ushas rolled her eyes again. “Well, if you want to miss breakfast, then go ahead. It’s not my problem.”

It truly was not her problem, and in all honesty, it was hardly Theta’s either. Theta Sigma (known affectionately as ‘Theta’ or ‘Thete’) was one of the top troublemakers at the Academy and always had some kind of tricks up his sleeve. Compared to some of the other things that he had done, missing breakfast was not anything that was going to get him in trouble. That was a good thing, because as he got older, Theta was beginning to lose his ability to talk his way out of things, as his cute, childish personality was being replaced by pure attitude.

“Then why are you here?”

“Because Borusa sent me to find out where you were,” she explained.

“How did he know that we weren’t there?”

“He looked at the table and saw that there weren’t ten of us.”

Theta smirked. “How many did he count?”

Ushas hesitated before she answered his question. “Seven.”

“Seven. Ha! Didn’t it occur to you that it means three of us are missing?”

“Yes,” she said calmly, “but I figured that Drax could get there on his own. He’s a pig enough, and Jelpax didn’t seem bothered that he wasn’t there.”

“He’s not going to go,” he chuckled, and ran a hand through his hair, making it even messier than before. “We’re boycotting breakfast.”

“Excuse me?”

“We’re boycotting breakfast. It was Drax’s idea.”

Ushas was stunned. Drax had come up with some stupid ideas over the years, but that had to be one of the very worst. “Boycotting breakfast? Drax? Are we thinking of the same Drax here? Because the Drax that I know would never turn down food.”

“Please.” This time it was Theta who rolled his eyes. “Mortimus is the pig. Drax never eats in the morning. I suppose you haven’t noticed, but he just drinks his milk and goes on his way.”

Ushas thought about the statement for a moment before nodding. He was right, she had to admit. “So you just thought that you would boycott breakfast? Because suddenly the rest of the hungry students don’t want it anymore either?”

“Well, except for Lungin, yeah.”

“Lungin?”

“The really pudgy kid who always has to sit out for P.E.?”

“Oh, _Lungin _.”__

____

Theta nodded and leaned back against the doorway. “Anyway, are you going to let me get my last twenty minutes of sleep or are you just going to hang around in here all day?”

____

“I suppose I’ll go.” She sighed. “If you get in trouble, it’s your own problem, yeah?”

____

“Agreed.”

____

Ushas nodded at Theta, then headed back off down the hallway and attempted to forget about what had happened. Sometimes those boys were just weird.

____

// 

____

“Where the hell is my phone?”

____

“I don’t know. Where did you leave it last?”

____

“Why do people always ask that? If I knew where I left it then it wouldn’t be lost!”

____

“I don’t know.”

____

“Just help me look for it. God, where to even start?”

____

“I don’t know.”

____

“Do you know anything, Rallon?”

____

Rallon shrugged. He didn’t understand why Vansell was freaking out about losing his phone, but then again, he had never cared too much about his own, so he never understood people’s attachments to them in the first place. Plus, Vansell had always been very concerned with privacy and secrets, and Rallon had never bothered to attempt to figure out why. After all, it was a secret, wasn’t it? And if anyone was going to tell a secret, it was not going to be Vansell. That was for sure.

____

Vansell was very different from the other students in his class. Not just because he was secretive, but because he was much more mature than most of his classmates. Many of them were still growing out of their childish ways, but Vansell had left those years behind ages ago and was already proving his worth in Time Lord society.

____

“I know how to wipe out an entire species in one day,” he answered simply, searching his brain for things that he had learned in class. “I know how to play the bass. I know how to build things. Well, not really, but I know how to throw things away once Drax has ripped them apart.”

____

“You’re stalling,” said Vansell, pushing his dark, black hair away from his eyes. His gray eyes were fixed on his roommate, narrowed slightly.

____

“No, I’m not. I was answering your question.”

____

He ignored the comeback. “You took my phone, didn’t you? You’re stalling because you don’t want me to find it. That’s probably why you’re acting like an even bigger moron than usual as well. You’re nervous, aren’t you?”

____

“No. I don’t even know how to be a bigger moron than I already am. I mean, according to Magnus, I’m already the slowest one in the group, and that’s really sad. I mean, that is a low blow if you compare it to how stupid he treats the others.” Rallon flopped backwards onto his bed, his deep brown hair falling into his face as he did so. He blew it out of his matching eyes and sighed.

____

“It doesn’t matter what Magnus thinks,” said Vansell. He was opening and shutting every drawer in his desk and throwing pillows about the room as he searched beneath them. “He just likes to insult everyone. He’s probably told us all that we’re the dumbest in the group before.”

____

“Not Ushas.”

____

“No, but he rags on her for being too smart and self-absorbed. It would ruin his gag to call her stupid.” Rallon had to nod. It was true. “Now, Rallon,” he said, pacing over to his roommate, “where the hell is my phone?”

____

Rallon sat up quickly, throwing his arms into the air in defense. “I don’t know!”

____

“Sure. Sure you don’t know.”

____

“I really don’t! I don’t even know where my phone is right now, to be completely honest.”

____

“That’s even worse.” Vansell groaned. “You didn’t mean to take it, you just picked it up for something and forgot where you put it down.”

____

“Yeah, that’s probably more accurate.”

____

“Well then. If you’re the one who lost it, you’d better help me look.”

____

Rallon nodded and swung his legs over the side of the bed. He started to look around the furniture and beneath the sheets, regretting his words already. He had practically admitted to taking a phone he never saw and leaving it somewhere he would never remember. Oh, if only he could remember whether or not he actually had taken the phone. Maybe then he wouldn’t have been stuck in such a predicament.

____

// 

____

“Here you are.” Ms. Vullea handed off a sheet of paper to the next student in line to receive their grade. “Good job, Aylene. Much better than last month. You’re making good progress.”

____

“Thank you, Ms. Vullea.” The girl smiled as she pulled a lock of golden rings behind her ear. “I’ve been working very hard.”

____

“I can tell.” She placed her fingers between the next two sheets of paper as the next student approached and held one page out to him. “Better, Koschei. You’re actually passing for once. Keep it up.”

____

Koschei beamed at her, flashing his pearly white teeth. “Thank you, miss. I actually studied for the test this time.”

____

Though it was sad, that was actually an accomplishment for Koschei. He was naturally smart, but he often neglected to study for his quizzes and instead chose to rely on the information that he remembered. He had never outright failed before, but his scores were not as high as they could have been. If he spent more time focusing on school and less time messing around with Theta, he probably would have been able to make perfect grades.

____

Professor Vullea smiled at Koschei. She was much less enthusiastic once he stepped aside and she was forced to hand over a grade to his friend. “You barely passed, Theta Sigma. You need to be working harder if you’re going to pass my class.”

____

“I will miss.” He nodded genuinely, but he had no true intentions of sticking to his words. He didn’t bother looking at the grade on his paper, knowing that it was no better than a seventy-five percent. “Thank you.”

____

The next student to approach was Ushas, who was clearly more appreciated by the professor. “Incredibly high marks, Ushas, dear. You’re doing very well. You couldn’t possibly get a higher score.”

____

Ushas said nothing in response. She had been expecting the grade, but she still flashed a smile to please her instructor. Two more students went by with decent grades before the last in line stepped up to her, his dark green eyes staring at her challengingly. He held his hand out for his test results, but he got nothing.

____

“Miss,” he said politely, forcing a smile onto his lightly-freckled face, “you know that you’re supposed to give me my results, right? That is why I’ve been waiting in line halfway through lunch hour.”

____

Ms. Vullea ignored his remark. She was used to his attitude, as were most people who had met him.

____

Drax was one of the biggest loudmouths in the school, his witty personality never failing to strike in every conversation he participated in. Though he sometimes stood back and watched drama unfold, he preferred to be in the middle of the action, often being the mastermind behind Theta and Koschei’s pranks. Because of that and the amount of time he set aside to work on his personal projects (all of which were based upon building and tinkering, as Drax was quite interested in engineering), he did not find much time to study, and thus his true potential never made it to the paper.

____

“What is this, Draxin?” she asked, pointing to the score she had scribbled on the top of his test.

____

“A fail,” he answered simply, his dark, forest green eyes blinking innocently.

____

“And why do you have that?” she demanded. “You got an eleven percent on the test! What were you doing? Sleeping through my class?”

____

Drax shook his head and pushed his light brown bangs out of his eyes. “That would be completely ridiculous and entirely uncalled for. Who do you think I am, professor? A slacker? A failer? Something else?”

____

“I think,” she said, finally handing him his paper, “that you are the roommate of the best student I have in this class. And I think that it is completely appalling that you are failing my class with a history genius two feet away.”

____

“To be fair, he’s not two feet away right now. We’ve got your class in different hours, miss. And if you’d like to be technical, he isn’t a history genius. In fact, he’s only interested in his history because of his obsession with the bloody Dark Times.”

____

“The Dark Times are fascinating,” said the professor, crossing her arms against her chest sternly. “We’ll cover that topic eventually, you know. I think you’ll find it to be much more interesting than you would expect.”

____

“But much less interesting than I would hope. Can I go now, miss? We really are halfway through lunch and I would like to eat something before I have to go to more classes. I have a lot of failing to do the rest of the day.”

____

Ms. Vullea rolled her eyes and nodded. “Go on your way. I expect your grades up, though. You can’t keep doing this.”

____

Drax nodded in agreement. He crumpled up his test results and stuck him into his robe pockets as he left the room, walking quickly to catch up with his friends. He wrapped an arm around Koschei and Ushas’s shoulders when he caught up to them. “What’s going on, kiddos?”

____

“Passed my test,” said Ushas, ducking out of his grip. “Did you fail?” she asked, glancing up at his unconcerned face.

____

“Yeah. Professor Vullea is pissed.”

____

“Even more than the time that you copied Jelpax’s answers?”

____

“Oh, yeah. But to be fair, I probably did spend more time copying those answers than I ever did writing down my own.”

____

Theta nodded. “It did seem like it was going to work, until Jelpax found out and got upset.”

____

“You have too much of a soft spot for the guy,” Koschei added. “If you let him go then you’d be top of the class.”

____

“Because he could beat me?” Ushas scoffed. “As if.”

____

“If I was copying your answers, yeah,” said Drax. “Also, I do believe that the professor just told me that Jelpax is the best student in her class.”

____

She rolled her eyes. “Whatever. That’s history. I’ve still got science and all things science related.”

____

“Okay then. Whatever makes you happy.”

____

They walked in silence the rest of the way to the dining hall, which wasn’t too far. Their history classroom was surprisingly close to the dining hall, and that was why they could hear the chatter from inside the hall before they entered and met the rest of the Deca at their normal seat by the window to the courtyard.

____

“What took you so long?” asked Mortimus, nudging Ushas when she sat down beside him. “Lunch is basically over.”

____

Ushas shrugged and scooted away from him. “We were waiting for test results. Besides, it doesn’t really matter. These three here don’t care about eating anyway.”

____

“Who? Me?” asked Koschei. He was halfway through stuffing an entire sandwich into his mouth.

____

“Yes, you.” Ushas rolled her eyes. There was no way that he had forgotten about his scheme already, was there? Then again, when it came to Theta and Koschei, most stunts were short lived. “You refused to eat anything for breakfast, remember?”

____

“Actually, I remember that being me,” said Theta. “Koschei stayed in bed. I answered the door.”

____

Drax nodded, looking up from his sandwich to add to the conversation. “No idea what you mean by this morning, Ushas, but I did not approve of skipping any meals besides breakfast. I can’t live without any food. That would be ridiculous.”

____

“Well, you’ll have to do something drastic if you want your boycott to do anything,” she said.

____

“Like what?”

____

“Like not eat anything for an entire day or a week or something.”

____

The trio gasped. “No way,” said Drax. “I will never go an entire day without eating again. I swear on Rassilon’s head.”

____

“Pretty sure you don’t have any control over Rassilon’s head,” Magnus mumbled. He wasn’t really paying much attention to them, but seemed completely lost in thought, his head resting in his hands. However, even when he wasn’t a part of things, he was renowned for making rude and smart-ass comments.

____

“Oh, shut up.”

____

“Did you say ‘again’, Drax?” asked Mortimus, dropping his bread crust down onto his plate. “When was the first time?”

____

Drax didn’t answer, his words caught in his throat. Ushas spoke up for him. “Probably the last time he decided to do something stupid like this,” she said. “I highly doubt that it wasn’t by choice. You chose not to eat, didn’t you, Drax?”

____

Once more, Drax refused to answer. He looked down at his plate of food and took a sip of water.

____

“Always quiet with you, isn’t it?” said Magnus, still not looking over at them. He pulled a strand of shoulder-length, light brown hair behind his ears, his dark eyes hardly blinking. “Things get tough so you stop answering questions. I swear, we know less about you than we do about Vansell.”

____

That was a nice comment compared to the things that Magnus normally said. He wasn’t exactly mean, per say, but he most was most certainly not misunderstood either. He never spoke without saying what he meant, and he never filtered his opinions. If he disliked you, or anything that you were doing, you were most definitely going to hear about it.

____

“What does Vansell have to do with anything?” Drax snapped, his eyes narrowing. “So I made a comment, and I didn’t answer because I was eating. Big deal. It doesn’t meant that I’m secretive.”

____

“Then tell us: why did you go a day without eating?”

____

“I was making him study.”

____

Drax breathed a sigh of relief when he turned around to see Jelpax standing behind him. He counted himself incredibly lucky to have a friend like him. He didn’t know anyone else who would save their friend when they didn’t even know what was even going on, and he was glad that he had someone who would. By the time he came up with a reply he knew that it was already too late, because Jelpax was staring at him, clearly hoping for some sort of a response.

____

“This is the part where you back the story,” he said, his light accent sounding not annoyed, but slightly confused.

____

Jelpax was Drax’s roommate, and his best friend. The had known each other since primary school, and since then they had grown close, despite their differences in personality. While Drax was a loudmouth and always breaking the rules, Jelpax was highly reserved and preferred to keep himself to himself, always following the rules if possible. There had been a few occasions where Drax had convinced him to bend them anyway, but he had gotten out clean every time so far.

____

“Oh, right.” Drax cleared his throat to buy some time while he came up with an add-on to the story. “That is true, Jelpax. I do remember that day. We were studying for temporal theory, were we not?”

____

“Aren’t you always?” Ushas muttered, picking at her food. Though she ragged on her friends for their eating habits, everyone knew that she was the slowest eater of the bunch.

____

Jelpax sat down next to Drax, then looked down the table at Magnus, who was just shaking his head slowly. “Make more excuses,” he said, finally looking over at the group, “it won’t save you from the truth coming out.”

____

“No, but it will stall it,” said Vansell. He had just stridden into the dining hall, Rallon trailing lamely behind him. Both of them looked tired, but only one of them appeared mad as well. “Have any of you seen my phone anywhere? In Rallon’s pocket, perhaps?”

____

“I told you, Vansell. I didn’t take your phone. Why would I take your phone?” He paused, then shot Mortimus a look of utter annoyance. “Stop looking at my pockets. It’s not in there.”

____

Mortimus shrugged and turned back to his meal, not wanting to add anything to the conversation, even though he may have had a tiny bit of information he could have shared.

____

That meant, of course, that he had a ton of information to share. Though Mortimus was not always the biggest gossip, he was the most attentive listener and he was incredibly good at reading people. His skill allowed him to sense other people’s emotions and figure out things that he shouldn’t have been aware of. Even though it worked out well for him, it caused everyone else to find him rather creepy—which was the exact reason he had no friends outside of the Deca.

____

“Anyway,” said Mortimus, clapping his hands once to break the tension. “Let’s change the subject. Where were you guys at?”

____

“I finished lunch before you lot even got here,” Jelpax answered. “I decided to study a bit extra.”

____

“And we were looking for his phone.” Rallon sighed, glancing over in Vansell’s direction. “Which is still definitely not in my pocket, by the way.”

____

“Of course it’s not,” said Magnus, shaking his head slowly. “Because you don’t try to create drama to cope with your super boring life. Admit it, Rallon. You want to have a crazy weird life like Theta or Koschei.”

____

Rallon’s shoulders visibly stiffened, and that was impressive, considering they had already been stiff before. “I don’t want a weird life. I want a quiet life, but that doesn’t seem to be coming my way, does it? Not with this bloke as my roommate.” He pointed at Vansell before sitting down beside Koschei, who was still stuffing his face with food.

____

“Because it’s my fault,” said Vansell. “Everything in the whole world seems to be my fault, according to this guy.”

____

“Wow, really?” Mortimus made a face. “Usually people say it’s either my or Magnus’s fault. Sometimes it’s Drax, depending on the situation, but a lot of times it isn’t because he’s so quiet.”

____

“Quiet?” Drax spat, feigning annoyance. “I’m not quiet. I’m the loudest prat in the school!”

____

“Glad you finally confessed to being a prat,” said Magnus.

____

“Well, I don’t really have to confess, do I? We’re Prydonians. Every one of us is a stuck-up prat.”

____

“I second that statement,” said Theta.

____

Ushas rolled her eyes. “I most certainly do not. You idiots need to get a grip on reality. We are so blessed to be Gallifreyan that you cannot even begin to understand, and you just act like it’s some sort of a burden? You’re all ridiculous.”

____

She grabbed her bag from beneath her seat and stood up. None of her friends bothered to say a word as she left the dining hall, leaving them behind to continue to their stupid conversations.

____

// 

____

“Ugh, god, I am so mad at them!”

____

Magnus didn’t bother looking up from the sheet of paper he was writing on. As he spoke, he continued to work, his hand moving quickly as he scribbled across the page.

____

“Yes, yes, I know. It’s good. Get it out.”

____

Ushas paced back and forth across the deep red floor, her hands held tightly behind her back. “Boycotting breakfast and putting my name on it? It’s insane!”

____

“Yes, it is.” Magnus nodded, lacking any trace of emotion in either his face or his voice. “Completely insane. I believe it’s hereditary.”

____

“It is,” Ushas confirmed, clenching her hands into tight fists. “Oh, I really want to punch someone right now.”

____

“Oh, please do.” Before she could even blink, Magnus spoke again. “Preferably not me. Vansell, perhaps?”

____

She shook her head, her brown hair whipping back and forth with every movement. “I would much rather hit Theta or Koschei. It was them who claimed I’ve been covering for them, so they really deserve the hit more than Vansell.”

____

“Maybe you should just stop hanging around them so much. Then they won’t use you as a cover or excuse. I mean, it worked for me.”

____

“I can’t just not hang out with them. They’re members of the Deca, just like you and I.”

____

“I’m not saying to stop seeing them at all,” he said, reaching for a pencil sharpener, “I’m saying to stop being around them that much. Stop getting involved in their schemes if you don’t want your name on them.”

____

“Whatever. You know, they still used Rallon as an excuse once, even though they don’t hang around him that much. Remember that?”

____

“I do, but that was just to get him to say something besides ‘hi’ and ‘bye’, if I remember correctly.”

____

Ushas rolled her brown eyes, blinking her long lashes repeatedly in annoyance. “I don’t care. I’m going to go find them. Don’t do anything stupid while I’m gone.”

____

“When have I ever done anything stupid?” Magnus mumbled, still not looking up from his work. He pushed a lock of hair back with his left hand, while his right hand never left the page.

____

“How should I know? You’re the master at never getting caught.”

____

Magnus smirked. “You a bit jealous, Ushas?”

____

“What? No.” Her voice was slightly higher pitched than she had intended, and she couldn’t stop herself from blushing. Thank goodness Magnus still hadn’t turned around. “Where could you have possibly gotten that from?”

____

“Denial. That means it’s true.”

____

“You are—ugh.” She put her hand on the doorknob, then turned it and opened the door. She caught it with her hand before it swung open all the way and turned back to face Magnus. “Now I’m really going to go find those two idiots. Do whatever you want while I’m gone. I don’t care.”

____

She walked out of the room, closing the door behind her, and Magnus felt like the air in the room had suddenly become fresher. He didn’t bother watching her go—in fact, he hadn’t looked up once during their conversation. He didn’t even know if Ushas had changed out of her robes yet. Not that it was important to him. He had things to do that were far too important to be interrupted by—

____

“Magnus!” Mortimus whined, flopping down onto the dark red couch opposite to their beds. The cushions squished beneath his weight, his boring hair flapping in the breeze from their ceiling fan. “Magnus, another girl asked me out. What do I do?”

____

“Well, what have you said to her so far?”

____

“Nothing. I listened to what she had to say and ran off to ask you how to answer her.”

____

Magnus shook his head as he returned a stray lock of hair to its proper place. “Get some independence. I can’t baby you forever.”

____

“Why not?”

____

“Because I have a life of my own?”

____

“Well, you can have mine too!”

____

Magnus ignored Mortimus when he dramatically yanked a pillow over his head. Since the first day he had arrived at the Academy, Magnus had wanted a new roommate, or preferably, no roommate at all. He couldn’t imagine that every student had a roommate. What were the odds that there was an even number of students? Well, fifty-percent, he supposed. Wait, Epsilon didn’t have a roommate, did he? Maybe Magnus could trade rooms with him…

____

“Are you even listening to me?” asked Mortimus, muffled by the pillow over his head.

____

“Good god, Mortimus. Get a goddamn life.”

____

“Fine, I will!”

____

Mortimus rose from his eat and stomped out of the room, not earning one glance from his roommate as he slammed the door shut behind him.

____

// 

____

“Seriously?”

____

“I’m dead serious.”

____

“Well, not dead. I mean, we’re basically immortal, after all.”

____

“Shut up, you’re ruining it.”

____

“Uh, I think that I’ll stick to eating breakfast. Sorry, guys.”

____

Theta and Koschei sent out a simultaneous sigh as Dourgonn handed their flier back to them and walked away down the hall. The duo watched him go longingly, wishing that they had been able to convince him. Seventeen other students had already rejected offers to join their boycott, and Theta was beginning to think that it was pointless. Maybe Ushas was right. Maybe no one else wanted to boycott breakfast. Maybe it was a lost cause.

____

“Suppose we keep trying?”

____

“Oh, what’s the point, Theta?” Koschei grumbled. He leaned back against the wall, dropping his hand, and the fliers in his grip, down to his side. “No one wants to do it.”

____

“Don’t give up yet.” Theta stood next to him but didn’t lean back. He didn’t need to seem any smaller than he was. “There’s still—”

____

“I don’t care how many students there are in this academy. We can talk to every single one, but we’re not going to get enough people to boycott breakfast.”

____

“To be fair—”

____

“I know that we’re already boycotting breakfast, Thete. I meant successfully.”

____

“Oh.”

____

“Yeah.”

____

The two stopped speaking for a minute, both attempting to figure out some way that they could get people on board with their boycott. Both of them were silent for a long while, as it proved to be far more difficult to come up with ideas than either of them had anticipated. The rest of the Prydonians were all so good at following rules that it seemed nearly impossible to get them to join in.

____

“Maybe Ushas was right.” Theta sighed, staring down longingly at the fliers in his hands.

____

“No, she wasn’t,” said Koschei. “Don’t fall into her trap. We can’t give this up yet—we’ve only just begun.”

____

“I didn’t mean about the boycott not working. I was talking about what she said at lunch. You know, about doing something drastic?”

____

“You mean like not eating something for a day? Look, I’m not doing that.”

____

Theta rolled his eyes. “Just shut up and listen for a second. I don’t think that not eating for a day is even drastic enough. We need to do something seriously drastic if we’re going to get this to work.”

____

“Like, maybe,” said Koschei, “stop saying drastic?”

____

“I said shut up.”

____

“I didn’t listen.”

____

“Anyway,” Theta continued, “we need to do something else. Like, something that would force everyone to skip breakfast.” This time, Koschei did not interrupt him, his face filled with interest as a mischievous grin crawled up Theta’s face. “What if we stole all of the food?”

____

Koschei’s light blue eyes went wide. “Not to say that I’m against the idea, but how exactly would we manage to do that?”

____

“I don’t know, but it would work.”

____

“All right. Should we tell Drax? It’ll be easier to come up with something if he’s part of the brainstorming.”

____

“Yeah.” Theta nodded. “Let’s go find him. Come on.”

____

// 

____

It didn’t take long for Theta and Koschei to find Drax. He was hanging out in his room, which was quite normal, but he was also talking to Magnus and Mortimus, which was very far from being normal.

____

“Guys, listen,” said Drax, running a hand down his face. “This is my room. I should know. I’ve been sleeping here for the last… however long we’ve been here.”

____

“Twenty-one years,” Mortimus supplied, narrowing his eyes. “And I should know that this is where our room is because this is the same path we take home from dinner every single night.”

____

“Well, check again, because your room is an even number, and mine is an odd. You’re not even on the proper side of the hall.”

____

Magnus rolled his eyes, his muscular arms crossed against his chest. “See, Mort? I told you this wasn’t our room.”

____

“But—But—” Mortimus looked around the room frantically, his eyes darting back and forth from Drax to Magnus as he attempted to figure out at what point his trip home had gone wrong. “This has to be our room! I know that it’s our room! We took the same way home that we always do.”

____

“No, you didn’t. You probably went the opposite way from usual and just didn’t pay attention to it.”

____

Mortimus snapped his head around and glared at his friend. “Oh, and you would know that?”

____

“From what I’ve been listening to for the last ten minutes, yes.”

____

“Shut up, Jelpax.”

____

Jelpax shrugged and did as he was told, turning his attention back to the book he had been reading. He was far from an argumentative person, and tended to pull himself from conversations as soon as they began to lean that way, whether he was told to or not.

____

“Ahem?” Theta cleared his throat to ensure that he and Koschei’s presence had been noted. Based on the way that Mortimus whipped his head around, he guessed that it hadn’t quite. “Can you guys bug off for a bit so that we can talk to Drax for a bit? It’s sort of an important matter.”

____

“Fine,” said Mortimus. “We’re going.”

____

Mortimus followed Magnus out of the room, pulling the mahogany door shut behind them.

____

“What do you want?” asked Drax, turning his attention to Theta and Koschei as he sat down on his bed.

____

“We’ve got an idea on how we can make our boycott work,” said Koschei.

____

“Well, my idea, but—”

____

Theta was cut off before he had a chance to finish. “Fantastic,” said Drax, a grin creeping up his face. “Let me hear it.”

____

Koschei took the pleasure of explaining the elaborate scheme that he and Theta had come up with on their way over. Drax nodded at some points of it, and shook his head at others, occasionally adding comments, but ultimately he seemed pleased with the idea.

____

“Good. Good, I like it. It seems like it could work.” Jelpax laughed, and the smile fell right off of Drax’s face. “What?” he asked, snapping his head around to look at his roommate.

____

“Nothing, I think it’s a fantastic idea.” It was clear that he was struggling to keep himself from laughing. “That is, if you had a giant forklift. Have you got any idea how much food there is back there?”

____

“Not really.”

____

“Too much. I’d much rather they serve the pills everyone in the citadel eats.”

____

Drax made a face. “Seriously? I was kind of happy that we’ve still got something before everyone switches over to those things.” He shook his head, blinking several times as if waking up from a daydream. “Anyway,” he said, turning back to Theta and Koschei, “it sounds like your plan is a bust, unless you can figure out what to do with all of that food. And don’t think about setting it on fire. I’m not going to let you lot mess with that stuff for at least another ten years.”

____

“Or ever,” said Jelpax. “He’s not in charge of that. I am. No fire. I don’t trust you three with anything that can actually hurt people.”

____

“Who cares? I don’t like most of the people in this school anyway.”

____

“Just because they’re arrogant—”

____

“They aren’t arrogant. They’re cocky,” said Drax, crossing his arms. “They’re better than most people and they know it, and they’re not afraid to act like it.”

____

Theta snorted. “You could make that into a song.”

____

“Please don’t,” said Jelpax.

____

“It was just a joke, mate.”

____

“I know, but what a hellish joke. You three making music? It would be like the Devil himself playing.”

____

// 

____

“So I saw that girl again today,” said Mortimus casually, as he flopped down onto his bed.

____

“Mm hm.” Magnus nodded, but did not look up from his desk. He was again scribbling on a sheet of paper and couldn’t care less about what Mortimus had to say.

____

“She asked me why I ran away yesterday, so I told her the truth. Can’t build a relationship on lies, y’know?”

____

Magnus snorted. “Even Drax isn’t stupid enough to do that.”

____

“It’s all right.” He shrugged before pulling his shirt over his head. “She said that she didn’t like me anyway. It was you that she meant to ask out.”

____

“Okay.”

____

Mortimus sighed as crawled beneath his blankets and rolled over to face his roommate.“You aren’t really paying attention to me, are you?”

____

“I am. Didn’t you hear me respond before?”

____

“Well, maybe you could look at me while we’re having a conversation for once.”

____

Magnus grabbed a hair-tie off of his desk and, with one hand, pull his hair back. He lowered his head closer to the paper, re-reading what he had written to make sure that he hadn’t made any stupid mistakes. “To be fair, you did just randomly start taking while I was working.”

____

“Yeah. So what?” Mortimus rolled his eyes. “Maybe I just wanted to talk to you for once. You never listen to me.”

____

“I just told you like two seconds ago; I am listening to you. Are you not listening to me?”

____

Mortimus ignored him. “Who is that letter even for?”

____

“My dad.”

____

“Oh. What’s it about?”

____

“The usual dad stuff.” He shrugged, turning his attention down to a drawer as he searched through it for an envelope. “Why? Do you not send letters to your family?”

____

“No,” said Mortimus. “I mean, of course I do. You just don’t exactly strike me as a… y’know, family kinda guy.”

____

“I’m not. But sometimes you don’t have a choice.”

____

Mortimus either didn’t hear or didn’t care about the second half of what he said. “So anyway, about this girl. She actually does like me and thought that it was cute when I ran away ‘cause she thought that I was shy or something. Ha! Do you think I should take her out, though?”

____

“You should probably ask Millennia about that. She’s the only one around here with any clue what romance is.”

____

“Yeah? Good idea. I haven’t seen her all day, though. Where is she?”

____

Magnus made a face, finally turning around to look at his roommate as he sealed the envelope in his hands. “She was at lunch with us, you dolt. Were you too engrossed in your food to notice? You pig.”

____

Mortimus sighed. “Any chance to insult me.” He shook his head and reached onto the bedside table to grab his phone. “Hold on. I’m going to ask Millennia to come over.”

____

“I don’t care.”

____

“Okay, she’s on her way. I hope that she doesn’t take too long.”

____

“She lives fifty feet away. How long could it possibly take her?”

____

To Mortimus’s delight and Magnus’s point, Millennia knocked on their door right then. It hadn’t been intentional, but she arrived at such a perfect time that it almost seemed as if it was.

____

Millennia had been known to have a sixth sense—one that was able to detect that anyone was having problems in romance. She had learned quickly that she liked to dabble in helping people, and always did so whenever she could. She never meddled in relationships, but only gave advice where she saw fit. Some people—such as Mortimus—liked it so much that they actively sought her out for advice whenever they had problems.

____

“Hi,” she said, a smile appearing on her pale face as she closed the door behind her. “What’s going on?”

____

“I need advice.” Mortimus was clearly desperate. “There’s this girl that likes me, and Magnus is a lost cause.”

____

“Oh, okay.” Her gray eyes widened in curiosity. “What’s her name?”

____

“Uh… I don’t remember. But she’s really cute.”

____

Millennia’s shoulder’s drooped, and she raised an eyebrow. “Mortimus, you can’t ask her out until you know her name. In fact, I’m not sure she'll ever want to go out with you if you don’t know what it is.”

____

“Oh, god. Can you help me figure it out?”

____

“Yeah, of course. What does she look like?”

____

“Uh…”

____

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” Millennia sighed deeply as she turned around, her shot deep blue hair whipping around her neck as she left the room, slamming the door shut behind her.

____

// 

____

“Rallon. Wake up. Now.”

____

Rallon groaned as he rolled off his stomach and looked over at the electronic alarm clock beside his bed. “It’s one in the morning, Van. What do you want?”

____

“We’re going to look for my phone.”

____

“What?” His voice cracked childishly, so he cleared his throat before he spoke again. “Now?”

____

Vansell nodded, but it was so dark that Rallon could barely make out the movement. “It’s the perfect time to ransack everyone’s rooms. I’ve already been through ours, and I can see that you didn’t leave it anywhere, so someone else must have taken it.”

____

“Does that mean that I’m off the hook?”

____

“No. Now come with me. We need to find my phone.”

____

“You mean _you _need to find your phone,” he argued, pointing a finger in Vansell’s direction.__

____

____

____

“Just come.”

____

____

____

Rallon sighed as he got out of bed. He pulled on his bathrobe, which was sitting on the chair beside him, and tied it around his waist. He didn’t bother to put shoes or slippers on, knowing that the Time Lords kept the hallway stupidly clean anyway.

____

____

____

“Is Runcible going to be out there?”

____

____

____

Vansell shook his head. “Past his hour.”

____

____

____

If it weren’t for his robes, nobody would have guessed that Rallon was a Prydonian. He lacked both the attitude and skills to be one, and much more resembled that of a Dromeian. In fact, had he not been born into the Prydonian chapter, that was probably about as hard as he would have worked. Despite being very consistent with his grades, Rallon never got higher than a ninety percent and he never put in more than the minimum amount of effort. Extra credit was invisible to him—just like the point of Vansell’s midnight search.

____

____

____

“Where are we going first?” he whispered. Rallon was surprised at how dark the hallway was when they stepped out. He had expected more lights, at least in case of a safety drill, or actual emergency.

____

____

____

“The girls’ room,” said Vansell. As they walked under one of the few lights in the hall, Rallon realized that Vansell was completely dressed, as if he had never gone to sleep at all. “It’s the closest, and you know that they both go to bed early.”

____

____

____

Rallon nodded. He didn’t really want to go into Millennia’s room uninvited, but he had no choice. He would just have to try to make it go quick. “Okay. What if it’s locked?”

____

____

____

“Of course it’s locked, you idiot. You really believe I didn’t think about that?”

____

____

____

“No, I just figured—”

____

____

____

“Rallon, we are Prydonians. We can break down the walls of reality. I don’t think that a wooden door is going to be that much of a challenge.”

____

____

____

“Then let’s get inside,” said Rallon, his stride coming to a halt as they reached the door to the girls’ room. “I hope that they don’t wake up.”

____

____

____

Vansell rolled his eyes. “Stop being such a worrywart. The only person I’m worried about waking up is Theta, and that’s just because he’s a really, really light sleeper.”

____

____

____

“Whatever? Let’s just go.”

____

____

____

Rallon couldn’t see what Vansell did, but within ten seconds of him speaking, the door was open. Vansell put a finger over his mouth, then pointed at himself and Ushas’s side of the room. He gestured for Rallon to go the other way. Rallon’s only response was a mental groan. He did not want to go through anyone’s stuff, especially Millennia’s.

____

____

____

He started with her desk, flipping through the drawers quietly, and turning toward her dresser once he had finished. However, his eyes got caught on something else before he had a chance to walk over to it.

____

____

____

Millennia looked so pretty and peaceful while she was sleeping. Like an angel, with her bright blue hair flowing over the pink blankets. He sighed, quickly making a decision as he glanced over at Vansell. He was not going to look through her stuff anymore. He wouldn’t risk his friendship with Millennia for some stupid phone.

____

____

____

Vansell finished fairly quickly and looked over at Rallon, who had already gone back over to the door. He didn’t want to waste any time getting out of there, and dashed out into the hallway as soon as Vansell walked over to him.

____

____

____

“My god,” said Vansell, shaking his head slowly. “Ushas could not possibly keep her stuff any cleaner.”

____

____

____

Rallon chuckled as they walked to the next room; Theta and Koschei’s.

____

____

____

“Okay, I’m going to go for Theta’s stuff, and you’ll go for Koschei’s.”

____

____

____

“Why do I have to go for Koschei’s?” asked Rallon. “His is a mess!”

____

____

____

“Because if I let you do Theta’s, you’ll screw it up and wake him.”

____

____

____

“Fine.”

____

____

____

The second room was even easier to get into than the first, because they hadn’t even locked the door in the first place. It swung open right away, and the duo headed inside, each to their side of the room. Rallon did another mental groan as he saw that Koschei’s stuff was not even anywhere near the drawers on his desk, but instead coating the floor around it.

____

____

____

Rallon began to sift through it as he dropped onto his knees. It wasn’t gross or dirty, thank god, but it was incredibly cluttered. It was as if Koschei did not even know what a drawer was. Eventually, he found a floor beneath the mountain, and stood up. There was a ton of stuff in there, but no phone. At least, not Vansell’s phone.

____

____

____

By the time Rallon had finished, Vansell was already tapping his foot impatiently by the door, and Rallon had to walk quickly to make it out of there at the same time as him.

____

____

____

“Jelpax and Drax, or Magnus and Mortimus?”

____

____

____

“First one. Come on.”

____

____

____

They didn’t even bother trying to pick the lock. Drax almost always forgot to lock the door, and Jelpax was never bothered enough to do it himself. The inside of their room was quite clear, and considering the fact that they were both relatively deep sleepers, it wouldn’t be hard to go through their stuff. Rallon didn’t wait for orders from Vansell before going over to Jelpax’s side of the room, guessing that it would be the more organized of the two.

____

____

____

After looking through everything, it turned out that he had been right in his assumptions. Jelpax seemed to own nothing except books, paper, and writing utensils. He glanced over at Vansell, who didn’t look as if he had found anything either and nodded towards the door. Vansell sighed and headed out of the room, Rallon following quickly behind.

____

____

____

They went straight across the hall next, and Rallon braced himself for the final room. They did have to pick the lock to Mortimus and Magnus’s room, but it wasn’t that difficult. There was, however, one challenge that they did need to face.

____

____

____

Magnus was awake.

____

____

____

“Did you guys just pick the lock?”

____

____

____

“Yes,” said Vansell, quickly regaining his composure. Rallon was not so quick to do so, and still stood frozen in the doorway. “Why are you still awake, Magnus?”

____

____

____

“I’m working on something.” He gestured to the papers littering his desk. “What are you doing breaking into my room at this hour?”

____

____

____

“Looking for Van’s phone,” Rallon grumbled, crossing his arms. “He made me do it.”

____

____

____

“I don’t care.” Magnus spun his chair around to face them. “Look, I don’t have it, but I’m not going to stop you from digging through Mort’s stuff.” He paused, his eyes shifting into a deadly serious stare. “Just listen to me. If you don’t come out alive, it’s not my fault.”

____

____

____

“All right,” said Rallon skeptically. It seemed like an easy enough job, since this time there were two of them on the same side. He hoped they would get out quickly so he could go back to bed.

____

____

____

His hopes quickly dispersed when he looked at Mortimus’s side of the room for the first time, which was covered in literally everything imaginable. Food, toys, clothes, homework—Rallon even thought he spotted a book or two from primary school.

____

____

____

“Holy mother of Rassilon,” Vansell mumbled. “What the hell is all of this?”

____

____

____

Rallon just shook his head in response and swallowed hard. It was not going to be a fun night.

____

____

____

// 

____

____

____

“Oh, my god!” cried Mortimus. He had been sitting at their usual table for nearly half an hour at that point, and still breakfast had not been served. “Where is all of the food?”

____

____

____

“Under your bed,” Vansell mumbled.

____

____

____

He ignored the comment.“I can’t take this! I’m wasting away!”

____

____

____

“You’ll survive,” said Magnus.

____

____

____

Mortimus let out a whimper. “I’m just so hungry. Where is the food?”

____

____

____

“In the kitchen,” Theta answered, unable to keep himself from giggling.

____

____

____

“What have you idiots done now? I swear, if you did anything to my breakfast—”

____

____

____

“We didn’t,” said Koschei. He was doing a much better job at keeping his amusement under wraps. “Drax did. I’m not entirely sure what it is that he did, but he did something.”

____

____

____

“Where is he?” Mortimus demanded. “Let me at him!”

____

____

____

Right on cue, Drax strode up to the table and took a seat beside him. “Talking about me?” He smiled mischievously. “The whole academy will be, once they find out that it was me who did it.”

____

____

____

“Did what? I need food!”

____

____

____

“Then go in the kitchen and make it yourself. I didn’t do anything with it.”

____

____

____

“Then why the hell isn’t there any breakfast?” Mortimus groaned.

____

____

____

Drax shrugged. “You’ll see.”

____

____

____

It was only about a minute later that they did see. Or rather, heard, as a girl came running into the dining hall, her face red from the sprint and her eyes wide.

____

____

____

“Oh, my god!” she cried. “Someone’s tied the lunch lady to a tree!”

____

____

____

It was a fifty-fifty split on what happened after that. Half of the students began laughing instantly, while the other half cried out in shock and ran out to see it. The Deca happened to do both, most of them laughing the whole way outside.

____

____

____

Drax walked proudly up to the front of the crowd. “Thank you all for coming today,” he said. “As you can see, the lunch lady has tied herself to a tree in support of my idea to boycott breakfast!”

____

____

____

The plump little lunch lady, who was hanging upside down from the biggest branch nearest the ground, glared at him. “Because I could do this myself,” she scowled.

____

____

____

“It’s funny that you would say that. I was just wondering how you managed to get up there. It’s a hell of a climb, and then to be able to tie yourself up like that? You’re a real-life superhero, ma’am.”

____

____

____

“It was him!” the lunch lady cried, attempting to gesture towards him despite being tied up. “He did it!”

____

____

____

Drax put his hands up in surrender, feigning surprise. “No need to jump to conclusions! How could you ever say that it was me without a good and thorough investigation?”

____

____

____

“I watched you tie me up!”

____

____

____

The crowd let out a roar of laughter. “Oh. Well then. I apologize for not being subtle enough. I really did think that the mask was a good disguise.”

____

____

____

“Yeah?” She scoffed. “Well maybe next time you should try using a different accent too. Aaahhhhh!”

____

____

____

Professor Borusa cut down the rope at that very moment, and she came crashing down to the ground, screaming the whole way. Drax didn’t appear to be bothered by it, nor did he bat an eye when Professor Azmael grabbed his hands and pulled them behind his back, leading him inside to nowhere but the headmaster’s office.

____

____

____

“It always ends this way,” said Ushas, shaking her head slowly.

____

____

____

Koschei shrugged. “That’s what makes it fun.”

____

____

____

As soon as he was gone, everyone began to file back inside, ready to go about their normal, everyday routines as if nothing had happened at all.

____

____

____

// 

____

____

____

“Seriously, only six months?”

____

____

____

Ushas must have confirmed what Drax had said at least ten times at that point, and she still couldn’t believe it. He nodded yet again. “Yes. Only six months. Do you have a problem with that?”

____

____

____

“Yes. You tied the lunch lady to a tree!”

____

____

____

All ten members of the Deca were sitting in Borusa’s classroom, hanging out for their weekly meeting. Most of the hour was just used for general discussion about their lives, but occasionally they would spend time on other things. That is, if they had other things they needed to discuss or work on, which they typically did not.

____

____

____

“At least the boycott was a bust,” said Mortimus, attempting to lean back in his uncomfortable wooden seat. “I don’t know what I would have done if it had gone through.”

____

____

____

“Please.” Drax scoffed and pushed his bangs out of his eyes. “It was never going to work.”

____

____

____

Theta’s jaw dropped. “What? Then why did you make us do it?”

____

____

____

He shrugged. “Why do I make you do anything?”

____

____

____

“To cause trouble and create opportunities to make fun of other people,” Koschei answered blandly.

____

____

____

“Correct.”

____

____

____

There was a short silence before Millennia spoke up, turning around in her seat to look at Mortimus. “Did you ever get a date with that girl?”

____

____

____

“No.” He sighed and shook his head. “I got the guts to ask her what her name was, and she slapped me across the face and walked away. She said something about us being in the same class for thirteen years? I don’t know what she was on about.”

____

____

____

Millennia sighed and gave him a reassuring pat on the shoulder. “You’ll get a girl to like you eventually.”

____

____

____

“I hope so.”

____

____

____

“What the hell?!”

____

____

____

The sentiment was broken up by Vansell’s sudden exclamation. He was staring at Drax, his eyes widened in shock.

____

____

____

“What?” asked Drax.

____

____

____

“You took apart my phone?!”

____

____

____

“I put it back together.”

____

____

____

Vansell was absolutely fuming, and for a moment, it seemed as if he was going to smash the electronic device he held in his hand. “And that makes it okay?”

____

____

____

“I thought so,” he said innocently. “I didn’t look at anything on there. Just in there.”

____

____

____

“What the hell did you do that for?”

____

____

____

“I don’t know.” He shrugged. “I was just curious.”

____

____

____

“You can’t just take apart other people’s stuff when you’re curious!”

____

____

____

“Why not?” Vansell slammed his head onto his desk, his phone held firmly in his grasp. “Come on,” said Drax. “No one cared when I did it to Theta or Mortimus. In fact—What? Why are you all looking at me like that?”

____

____

____

“It’s probably time for you to run,” said Jelpax, shifting in his seat. He was leaning back slightly, his feet propped up on the desk in front of him.

____

____

____

Drax nodded, then stood up and bolted out of the room, attempting to outrun both Mortimus and Theta as they chased him out and down the hall, effectively ending the Deca’s meeting for the day.

____

____

____


	3. The New Magnus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Epsilon steals Magnus's identity. Drax tries to help him. Ushas, Koschei, and Theta get trapped in a room with a goat.

At only six in the morning (and it was quite a miserable morning), all ten members of the Deca were piled into Borusa’s classroom. Ushas was standing at the front of the room, lecturing her peers about when it was and was not acceptable to throw other people’s shoes onto the roof of the Academy, no context needed.

“Example,” she went on, grabbing a piece of chalk to doodle on the blackboard with. She sketched what appeared to be an image of sneakers before continuing. “If Drax is wearing these shoes, you do not turn him upside down and take them.” She turned back around and sketched another image, this one of work boots. “However, if he is wearing these ugly things, then you always throw them onto the roof. No hesitation.”

“Hey!” Drax exclaimed. He pushed his chair back and stood up, crossing his arms against his thin chest. “Those are practical!”

“More so than sneakers?”

He sighed and sat back down. “Fine. I’ll get rid of them.”

“Good.” Ushas nodded. “Now, we have to get back to the reason that we’re all here right now. My best sandals were thrown onto the roof, and that is unacceptable. Though it is a maybe, maybe not situation for Drax’s shoes, it is never, and I repeat, _never_ acceptable to even _think_ about touching my shoes. You—what, Magnus?”

Magnus opened his mouth to contribute but did not get the opportunity. Just as he began to share his opinion, the classroom door swung open and a horrifyingly familiar face walked in, holding a galaxy backpack in one hand and a plastic water bottle in the other.

“Hey, guys!” said Epsilon, taking a seat at the front of the room beside Mortimus. He smiled at the group, then placed his things on the floor next to his desk and looked around the room. “Sorry I’m late.”

A simultaneous groan echoed throughout the room. They had all met Epsilon around the same time that they had met each other, and yet not one member of the Deca liked him. He wasn’t mean or anything, but he was incredibly annoying, and seemed to be completely oblivious to the fact that he was _not_ part of the Deca. He failed to understand their gazes as they stared at him, silently willing him to leave the room.

“What did I say?” he asked.

“Look, Epsilon,” Magnus started, removing his hand from his forehead. “We’ve told you once, twice, a billion times. You are not, were not, and never will be a member of the Deca.”

“Yeah, I am,” he argued. “Guys, this joke never gets old.”

“Oh, my god. You. Are. Not. A. Member. Of. The. Deca.”

“Okay, now it’s getting old. You can’t make the same joke twice in a row.”

“Epsilon.” Koschei sighed as he stood up and walked over to Epsilon, placing a hand down on either side of the desk in front of him. “If you were a member of the Deca, then it wouldn’t be called the Deca.”

“Yeah, it would.” Epsilon nodded slowly, as if he was the only one who knew what he was talking about.

“No, because Deca means ten. If we added you, then it’s not ten.”

“Yes, it is.”

“No, it’s not,” Mortimus argued, crossing his arms.

Epsilon sighed. “Yes, it would be. Look.” He counted everyone in the room out loud, but only managed to reach ten. “See?”

“You didn’t count yourself, dumbass,” Magnus said flatly, his tone hosting a hidden aggressiveness that only he could manage to achieve.

“I did count me. I counted me first. Maybe you should recheck who the dumbass is, dumbass.”

“Fine, okay, whatever. But if you counted yourself, then how the hell did you get ten?”

“Well, I didn’t count you,” said Epsilon, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“What?” Magnus made a face. “Why didn’t you count me?”

“Because you’re mean.”

“I’m mean?”

Everyone else muttered in agreement, prompting Magnus to sigh loudly. He grabbed his backpack and stood up. “Fine,” he said. “Epsilon can take my spot. I don’t care. If he’s nice, have him instead. See you later, guys.”

Magnus was barely out of the room before Ushas resumed speaking. “All right, New Magnus,” she said, turning her attention to Epsilon. “What is your opinion on the shoe situation?”

“You’re overreacting.” He shrugged and took a sip of water out of his bottle. “They’re shoes.”

“Wrong answer. You’re not a good enough Magnus.”

Drax raised his hand and Ushas called on him reluctantly. “I thought that was a pretty good Magnus impression. That’s basically what he would have said, honestly.”

“You’re supposed to be on my side, Drax,” said Ushas.

“What? Why?”

“Because you’re _actually_ in the Deca.”

“And that means that I _have_ to side with you?”

“Yes.”

Drax shook his head and stayed silent after that. The rest of the meeting continued normally, with Ushas rambling on and on about the stupid shoes and no one really paying attention to her. Epsilon continued to be referred to as the “New Magnus”, though he didn’t really do anything. However, if it was the old Magnus sitting in there, he wouldn’t have said much either, so it wasn’t too much of a loss.

When the meeting was over, Mortimus walked right up to Epsilon just as he would have gone up to Magnus and they headed off to class, as if they did so together every day.

//

After classes had finished for the day, Ushas walked to the science lab, Koschei and Theta at her side. Though the whole Epsilon incident had ended just before seven in the morning, the rest of the day had been just as long, and she was more than ready to get back into the lab and work on her experiment. Koschei and Theta, however, were much more excited to get back to their room to sit around and relax.

Ushas walked straight into the science lab when they got there, but Koschei and Theta continued walking, not even waving to Ushas as they walked on without her. They ended up not needing the gesture anyhow. As soon as Ushas stepped inside of the science lab, she screamed.

Koschei spun around first, then ran into the room and stopped in the doorway, causing Theta to run straight into his back. Before either of them could complain, Theta’s eyes landed on the thing that had caused Ushas to scream and he froze in his tracks, just as his friends had before him.

Standing on top of the teacher’s desk was none other than a goat.

All three of them were at a complete loss of words, staring at the cream-colored goat on the science desk. Before any of them managed to break the silence, a fourth voice spoke up from behind them.

“Hey!” said Epsilon, peering into the room. “You guys found my goat!”

“This is your goat?” Ushas spat, turning around to glare at him.

He looked surprised. “No. It was a joke. I don’t even know where to get a goat.”

“Well, get in here,” said Koschei, not taking his eyes off the animal. “We have to get this thing out of here before anyone thinks that it was us who left it in here.”

“No.” Epsilon took a step back from the doorway, shaking his head slowly. “No way.”

“What? Why not?”

“I’m not the one who found it here. That means that it isn’t my problem. It’s finders, keepers and I’m not the one who found it.”

“Come on, Epsilon,” Theta pleaded.

Beside him, Koschei stared at Epsilon in the oddest way. “Did he just say...?”

“I thought that you were nicer than this.”

Epsilon shrugged. “I was. Now I’m Magnus.”

“We were just joking before, Epsilon,” said Koschei. “Can you please go find a rope or something to guide this guy out of here?”

“Okay, fine.” He sighed. “I’ll be back in a bit.”

Ushas stepped further into the room when Epsilon walked off down the hall. She gestured for the boys to follow her, and as soon as they were all through the doorway, she closed the door.

“Oh, my god,” Theta muttered, turning towards her. “You’ve trapped us in here with the beast.”

“It’s not a beast,” she argued, stepping to the other side of the professor’s desk slowly. The goat ignored her presence, only staring at the wall like an idiot. “It’s an animal, and not one that’s going to eat you, so calm down.”

“Why do we have to do anything about it anyway? I mean, it’s not like we’re the ones who put it here.”

Koschei sighed. “Because the Deca is the first place they search for troublemakers,” he answered. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but for supposedly being some of the smartest students at the Academy, we don’t have a very good reputation. I mean, seriously. No one likes us.”

Theta shrugged. “It still wasn’t us who put that goat there,” he mumbled.

He started to walk towards Ushas, then slipped on a small puddle of an undetermined substance and fell on top of one of the desks. The action startled the goat, and it jumped off the desk onto the floor. It started running around the room, and Theta’s screaming did not help it to calm down. Eventually, it settled into the back of the room, and Theta ran to the front, as far away as he could possibly get from the animal without leaving the room.

If only Epsilon would come back faster.

//

Jelpax, who was leaning over a book on his wooden desk, was blissfully unaware of the chaos that was happening in the building next door. He was quite happy about that fact, as he had managed to stay out of his friends’ line of fire for nearly a week at that point and his life had managed to calm down for once.

That streak ended as soon as the door to his dorm room slammed open. He turned around, expecting to see Drax, but was instead met by the familiar gray eyes of Vansell.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I can’t find anybody else,” Vansell said quickly. Rather than his school robes, he was wearing light gray pants and a plain white sweatshirt. “They’re probably off doing something. Are you busy?”

“Depends on what you want me for.”

“Understandable. You’ve heard of the Gallitron X, right?”

Jelpax nodded and replaced his bookmark. It was obvious that his quiet time had been ruined once more. “Yes, but I haven’t bothered to research it much. They’d never let us have those in the halls of the Academy. I think my little brother has one back home, though. Of course, he only has little kid games.”

“Well,” said Vansell, “how would you like to play the newest edition of _History Quest_?”

“Really?” For once, video games almost sounded interesting.

He snorted. “No. But I’ve got _Destination Z_ and an illegal console, and you’ve got a high definition television. I’ve beat the main story back home but there are PVP side quests, and the incomplete sign is driving me mad. Play with me.”

Jelpax’s eyes flickered between his homework and Vansell for a moment, before he shrugged and stood up. “All right,” he said. He adjusted the collar on his button-up. “I’ve not really got anything better to do.”

“Yes!” Vansell ran over to the corner of the room opposite Drax’s bed, where they had a cozy set-up. There were two dark red beanbag chairs, and a flat screen TV in front of them. It wasn’t huge, but the picture quality was impressive. It was technically only for watching videos for class, but it was far from the first time Jelpax had been involved in using it for other media.

Vansell dropped his backpack onto the floor beside the chair on the left and pulled out a small electronic box, as well as two headsets. He handed one to Jelpax, who nodded in approval when he took it.

“Upgraded, have you?”

He nodded. “It cost me, but I had to have it. The controllers were too primitive. This is good tech. Do you know how to use them?”

“Yes,” Jelpax answered. He placed the device over his ears and adjusted the bar in the back. “My older brother’s got one. Not that he would ever let me use it, but I know how it works.”

“I thought that it was your little brother that had one.”

“Yeah, he’s got the old one. Syd just upgraded again.”

Vansell made a face. “How many brothers do you have?”

Jelpax ignored the question. “Are we going to play or not?”

“Yeah. Let’s do it. Pick your character. Just don’t choose Jared—he’s a total uggo.”

//

At the same time the goat catastrophe was happening, Magnus walked down the pale orange halls of the Academy, completely on his own. Normally he would have enjoyed it, and he was, a bit, but he was struggling to get past the fact that Mortimus was not breathing down his neck. Over the years, Magnus had become accustomed to having the idiot hang around him, no matter how hard he tried to make him go away. Now that Mortimus was gone, he felt strange.

Because he hardly ever paid attention in the Deca’s meetings, it took him a few minutes of thinking for him to begin to recall what had happened that morning, and it took Mortimus walking right past him and not saying a word to get him to fully remember.

“Hey, Mort!” He ran over to his roommate and evened his pace to keep up with him. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing, why?” asked Mortimus, an odd look on his face. He glanced around his shoulder. “Hey, have you seen Magnus anywhere?”

He furrowed his brow. “Okay, you’ve officially gone completely insane.” He pointed a finger at his own chest. “I’m Magnus.”

Mortimus shook his head slowly. “No, not anymore.”

“Not anymore? What is that supposed to mean?”

“We got a new Magnus, remember?”

“No, you—wait! What the—?” The look on Magnus’s face could be described as nothing less than completely dumbfounded. “You actually took that seriously?”

He shrugged. “Yeah. And you know, I think I like this new Magnus better than the old Magnus.”

“Seriously? Oh, my god. That wasn’t even supposed to be true. I just wasn’t in the mood to deal with him this morning.”

“Because you’ve ever in the mood. Just face the facts, Old Magnus. Epsilon is a better Magnus than you ever were.”

Magnus stared ahead in silence as Mortimus patted him on the shoulder and continued off down the hall. Even if the Deca could be unbearable at times, he was not willing to lose his spot. Especially not to Epsilon. He glared at his roommate until he disappeared around the corner without a care in the world. At that moment, Magnus made his decision.

No matter what it took, he was going to get his place back.

//

“Okay, I’m completely certain that it’s going to eat me. And don’t try to change my mind because I can see the way that it’s looking at me and that is nothing but raw hunger.”

Koschei sighed and shook his head at Theta, who was huddled in the front corner of the room, pushed up as close to the wall as he could get. “It’s a goat, Theta,” he said. “It isn’t going to eat you.”

“You’re just saying that because you’re scared that it’s going to eat you too.”

“Okay, you know what?” Ushas snapped. She stood up from her seat in the professor’s chair and walked around to the front of the desk. “Maybe it is going to eat us all. But right now, that is not what we need to be concerned about. We can leave at any time—no, Theta, that doesn’t mean that you can leave! Anyway, as I was saying, our main concern is making sure that this goat doesn’t break anything.”

Only moments after she spoke, a loud crash and shatter sound echoed through the room. A collective gasp filled the air when they spun around to see the damage. Ushas looked as if she was going to faint when she laid her eyes on the mess. The goat had knocked over the entire chemical cabinet. The clean, white floor was completely coated in colorful liquids and a rainbow of colorful powders, as well as each and every desk at the back of the room.

“Oh, look at that, Ushas,” said Koschei, glaring over at her. “You’ve jinxed it. You just had to go and do that, didn’t you? You had to!”

“Shut up,” she snapped. “It would have happened either way.”

“Sure. Sure, it would have. Let’s just find out where the heck Epsilon got to and get him back here before the goat breaks anything else.”

“How are we going to do that without leaving the room?” asked Theta.

“What do you mean?” Koschei made a face. “We can go anytime that we want. Ushas literally just pointed that out. And then you ran for the door, so I know that you were listening.”

Theta shook his head and pointed over at the door. “The goat is in front of the door now,” he said.

“Great!” Ushas explained. “What are we supposed to do now? We can’t—”

Just before she could finish her sentence, the door swung open and the goat bolted out, its feet clacking against the hallway floor as it hauled ass out of there.

“Sorry,” said Epsilon, running a hand through his dusty light brown hair. He had the much-needed rope in his other hand, but it was far too late to use it.

The goat was thrilled to be out of the enclosed space and had run wild down the hall. It was already out of sight but could still be heard as its clacked against the ground with every step. While Theta and Koschei stared down the hallway awkwardly, Ushas’s entire face went red and she clutched her hands into tight fists.

“Look what you’ve done, you complete idiot!” she shouted, stomping over to where Epsilon was standing. “Now how are we supposed to catch it? It could be anywhere!”

“I said sorry,” said Epsilon, turning to face her. “What else do you want me to do?”

“Go get the goat!”

“It’s long gone, Ushas,” Koschei sighed.

Epsilon shook his head. “I’ll get it.”

With nothing but a rope in his hand, Epsilon took off down the hall after the goat. Theta, Koschei, and Ushas watched him go in silence, each of them individually considering chasing after him. None of them did.

//

“Shit!”

Jelpax smirked. “I thought you said that you were on the leaderboards for this game. How do you keep losing to me?”

“Because you’re fucking cheating. That’s how.”

Vansell and Jelpax had been playing their game for quite a while at that point, and Vansell had yet to win a single match, despite Jelpax [supposedly] never having played before. He was absolutely excellent at the game, and several times took Vansell off-guard, even with the split screen view.

Nothing had interrupted them in hours—not a phone, a person, or even a bird, until the door suddenly burst open and Magnus stomped into the room. Jelpax was hesitant to turn around, knowing that his score would drop if he had to leave the game for even a moment. Vansell, meanwhile, completely ignored Magnus’s presence and continued playing.

“Jelpax!”

He dropped out of the game and turned around on his beanbag chair. “What do you want, Magnus?”

“I need your help,” he answered. He walked into the room and peered over at the closed, red curtains draping over the windows. “You really need to open those sometime. These rooms are holes with no sunlight.”

Jelpax shrugged. “Are you going to tell me what you need help with or not?”

“I have to figure out how to convince Epsilon to get out of the Deca.”

“So, what are you doing here?” he asked, furrowing his brow. “That sounds like Mortimus’s line of expertise.”

“Mortimus says that he doesn’t want to be around me anymore.” He sighed with a ferocity that made his frustration quite clear. “He’s convinced that Epsilon is a better Magnus than I am.”

Magnus could tell that Jelpax didn’t care about the situation at all, and his choice of words reinforced that observation. “Just give it a few days,” he said. “It’ll blow over.”

“I don’t want to wait a few days. I want it to blow over now.”

“Why? It’s not like it’s a big deal. Ushas has just been ranting recently anyway. You’re lucky to get out of those shitfests.”

“It’s not about the meetings, Jelpax,” Magnus snapped. “Epsilon has literally stolen my identity. It’s not about me being able to attend meetings or Deca events or whatever; it’s about me not being allowed to be me.”

“That’s not such a bad thing, actually. I wouldn’t mind you taking some time off from being yourself. Maybe you’ll end up being calmer than you usually are.”

“You have got to be kidding me, Jel. You like Epsilon better too?”

Jelpax shrugged and turned back to the television. “I’m not picking favorites,” he said, as he rejoined the game, “but he’s certainly nicer than you are.”

Magnus breathed out quickly and spun around on his heel, before storming out of the room. He slammed the door as he left, and Jelpax was finally able to focus on his game once more. He clicked a few buttons, then smirked when Vansell’s character collapsed.

“Damn!” Vansell tore off his headset and threw it onto the floor in front of him. “How the hell are you doing this?”

Jelpax shrugged. “I guess I’m just good. I don’t even know what I did, really.”

“You got a thousand points for shooting me from the opposite side of the map.” He shook his head slowly. “You must really like being able to see far away on this game, huh?”

“It’s not the worst thing.” He reached up and pushed his black, square-rimmed glasses back a bit, then ran his hand through his curly, ginger hair. “You want to go again?”

“No. If we’re going to do this again then we need to be doing this the right way. You’re entering doubles tournaments with me, Jel. We’re going to win so much money that you won’t even be able to count it.”

“What?”

“Wait here. I’m going to go grab the advertisement from my dorm room. We need to get practicing on the things they have competitions for.”

Jelpax didn’t have a chance to argue with Vansell before he had already run out of the room, leaving his backpack and console behind. He groaned and fell backwards in his seat. If only he had said no to playing.

//

Millennia was the first one to spot Epsilon charging down the hall. However, he was running at such a fast pace that by the time she had registered what was happening, it was already too late to call out to Rallon. Whether Epsilon was running too fast to stop or just didn’t care enough to, Millennia didn’t know; but within six seconds of her seeing him, he plowed into Rallon, knocking him clean onto his back.

“Oi!” Rallon cried. He sat up and rubbed the back of his neck, peering around to see where Epsilon had gone. “That hurt!”

“Sorry!” Epsilon called back. He didn’t turn to look at him but held up a hand in apology. “I’d stop, but I’m chasing—that goat!”

Just then, the goat made a turn and came back around the corner, heading straight for Millennia. She screamed and leapt out of the way as Epsilon tried to heroically use his rope as a lasso and grab it. However, he failed and ended up getting Rallon around the throat just as he lurched forwards to stand up. He gagged and fell backwards, then reached up and removed the rope from around his neck.

“What the—” Rallon was cut off by Epsilon before he had a chance to finish his sentence.

“No time to talk!” Epsilon shouted. “I have to catch that goat.”

While Rallon stared open-mouthed at him, Millennia chose not to question the situation and helped Rallon to his feet, then took off after Epsilon and the goat. She moved quickly and had no problem keeping up with Epsilon’s pace, but she wasn’t fast enough to outrun him and catch up to the goat. The turns slowed them down the most, as the goat took the sharp turns much faster than they did.

While running, they passed several other students, but none of them questioned the situation. They all squeaked in fear and ran to the side to get out of the way of the rogue animal. Initially, Millennia was worried that someone would tell on them, but then realized that she had such little knowledge of the situation that it probably wouldn’t even matter.

Once Millennia was completely certain that they had lapped the entire building multiple times and her legs felt like they were going to give out, the goat finally started to slow down. Epsilon ran up to it first, then whipped his rope around its neck and sighed, obviously relieved to be finished chasing it around.

“Whew!” he cheered. “Finally!”

Millennia took a moment to catch her breath, then finally asked him what was going on. Epsilon’s response ended up leaving her even more confused than she had been before.

“Well, I was just walking along, right?” he started, leaning a hand onto the goat’s back. “Then I see Theta, Ushas, and Koschei standing in the doorway of the science lab. Obviously, I was curious as to what was happening, so I looked inside and bam! There was a goat! So, I go to get a rope to get it out of there and then I accidentally let it out of the room when I came back. Then I chased it so it wouldn’t get away and I ran into you guys.”

“Okay then,” said Millennia, shaking her head slowly. “So now we’ve got the goat. That rope isn’t hurting it, right?”

Epsilon shook his head. “No, of course not. It’s not even on that tight. I can take it off really easily, see?” He lifted the rope from around the goat’s neck, and of course, it instantly bolted down the hall once more. “Oh, shoot!”

“I didn’t need a demonstration, you know.”

“That did just occur to me, yes.”

Millennia sighed. “Well, we’d better get after it.”

“Better had.” Despite their words, neither of them made any move to run after it. Epsilon noticed Rallon coming down the hallway first and pointed him out to Millennia. “Or we could make him do it. Clearly he was slacking before since he’s just caught up to us now.”

“Now that’s a good idea. Rallon! Go get the goat!”

“What?” Rallon exclaimed, reaching out to catch the rope when Epsilon threw it at him.

“Get the goat!” Epsilon cried.

Millennia laughed. “Get the goat!”

Rallon sighed, then took off in the direction that the goat had gone in. It was not such a good direction, however, as the goat was heading straight for the dorms where nearly all the students were at. Realizing this, Millennia and Epsilon dashed after him, Epsilon pulling another length of rope out of his bag.

The dorm halls were particularly winding and difficult to navigate, and thus they lost track of the goat rather quickly. They walked down the halls slowly after that, quietly calling out for the animal. It didn’t come, of course, but they did hear one familiar voice call out one familiar phrase, and that was the only thing they needed to find the goat.

“What the hell?”

Vansell was standing a few feet away from he and Rallon’s dorm room, the entrance to which was blocked by the goat. He glanced over his shoulder and groaned when he noticed Rallon running up. “Oh, of course it’s your goat!”

“It’s not my goat!” Rallon argued, keeping his voice low. He didn’t want the other students to hear and come to see what was happening. It would almost certainly put him in danger.

“Then whose goat is it?”

“I don’t know.”

He sighed. “Then why in the hell are you chasing it?”

“Because Millennia was chasing it.” Rallon shrugged.

“Why was Millennia chasing it?”

“Epsilon was chasing it,” said Millennia, stepping up beside Rallon.

“And why was Epsilon chasing it?”

“Because he lost it,” Ushas answered, appearing out of the nearest corner.

Vansell was nearly fuming at that point, distraught by the lack of detailed answers. “Lost it from where? Where the hell did he get a goat?”

“I don’t know!” Epsilon cried, breaking his silence from beside Rallon. “Ushas and those two had it!” He pointed over to Theta and Koschei, who had come around the corner behind Ushas.

“Where—why are you laughing?”

Magnus, who was leaning against the wall end the end of the hallway, shrugged. “This is just insanely funny to me.”

“Why?” asked Theta.

“Because there is a goat in the hall, you idiots,” said Magnus, rolling his eyes. “In what universe would you six prats chasing a goat not be funny? Oh, and the look on Vansell’s face. _Classic_.”

“Shut up,” Koschei snapped. “Let’s just get this thing out of here. Get over here and help us, Old Magnus.”

“Not unless you call me by my name. And in case you’re too stupid to figure it out, that means without the ‘old’.”

“Why would we call you that?” asked Theta. “You’re not the regular Magnus anymore.”

Ushas rolled her eyes. “Just get over here and help us.”

“Nah.” Magnus shook his head. “I’ve got somewhere else to be.”

With that, he turned around and headed back down the hall, not seeming to be the least bit bothered by his friends’ catastrophe.

“Okay, now that Old Magnus is gone, what the hell are we going to do about this goat?” asked Vansell. The little circle of people had surrounded the goat, but still none of them knew what to do with it.

“I have an idea,” said Epsilon, raising his finger in the iconic pose. “All we have to do is get it in there.” He pointed to the door behind Vansell. “Then it won’t be able to run anywhere, and we can work out what to do.”

“In my room?” Vansell scoffed. “No.”

“Oh, come on, Nosebung,” Theta pleaded. “It’s all that we’ve got.”

“Actually, I’m with Vansell on this one,” said Rallon, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. “I don’t really want a goat in our room.”

“Now that’s just not fair.” Koschei sighed and crossed his arms against his chest. “We’d put it in our room for you guys.”

Theta shook his head. “I wouldn’t.”

Koschei slapped him across the shoulder, prompting him to wince and rub it lightly. “Neither would I, you idiot. I was trying to convince them.”

“Oh! Oh, right. Yeah. That makes sense. Let’s do that.”

“Too late now.”

“Both of you just shut up,” Ushas snapped. “We don’t have time to argue right now.”

“So, let’s put the goat in their room already!” said Epsilon. He pushed past Vansell and opened the door into their room, then ushered the goat inside. He closed the door after everyone had followed him in.

“Epsilon! Oh, my god!” Vansell cried. “Look what you’ve done!”

//

Drax had been sitting outside of the Academy, on the steps leading up to the building, when someone walked up behind him. It was quite rainy out, so he hadn’t been expecting to see anyone, which was why he was so startled by someone taking out one of his earbuds. He stood up abruptly and dropped his homework into a puddle by his foot when he did so.

“Magnus!” he exclaimed. He didn’t look at his peer when he spoke, his eyes locked on his drenched homework assignment. He sighed when the thought about the amount of time that he had put into it, but eventually shrugged it off. “Well,” he said, “now I’ve got an excuse not to finish it.”

“And you’re welcome for that,” said Magnus. He crossed his arms and stood up a bit straighter. Drax wasn’t completely sure why he had felt the need to do that—he was always intimidated by Magnus anyway. “Now, listen up. I need your help with something.”

Drax raised an eyebrow. “With what?” he asked.

“Getting Epsilon out of my way.”

“Oh?” He crossed his arms, mimicking his friend’s strong stance. “And why me? Shouldn’t you go to Mortimus if you need help convincing someone?”

“Why does everyone say that?” Magnus made a face as he relaxed his arms. “He’s an idiot. Anyway, you’re actually my forth pick, but—”

“Wait.” Drax held up both of his hands. “Hold up. What did you say? Your _fourth_ pick? Who’s ahead of me?”

“Well, Mortimus, obviously. And Millennia. Also, Jelpax.”

“What?” He made a face. “Jelpax? Really?”

Magnus shrugged. “He’s smarter than you.”

“I guess that’s true, but I give way better social advice.”

“If I wanted advice, I’d go to Millennia. I need you for something she doesn’t have the guts for.”

Drax narrowed his eyes and raised a brow in curiosity. “Yeah? What’s that?”

“Getting Epsilon out of my way.”

“Oh. You should really ask someone else. I’m not good with communication.”

“No.” Magnus shook his head, then pulled his hair back behind his ears. “But you are good at one thing, and it’s the thing I need you for.”

“What?”

“Taking action.”

“Oh. You mean _making_ him leave.” Drax nodded, a sinister smile making its way up his face. “Well, that can be arranged. How soon do you want him out?”

“As soon as possible.”

“And idea what he’s up to right now?”

Magnus shrugged. “Chasing a goat for some reason.”

“What?” Never before had Magnus seen such an odd expression on Drax’s face. “Where did he even get a goat?”

“Don’t know.”

“Are there even goats on Gallifrey?”

“Apparently, since they’ve got one in the halls.”

“Okay. Well, anyway, if he’s chasing a goat, you know what we have to do.”

Magnus shook his head. “No, I don’t.”

“Isn’t it obvious?”

“Obviously not.”

Drax grinned. “We have to take the goat.”

“Right.” Magnus nodded as the plan started to make sense in his mind. “What are we going to do with it?”

“Headmaster’s office, obviously. They see that bitch in there and whoever’s left it is going to get the boot.”

“Only problem is getting caught, then.”

“I never get caught,” said Drax. “Not when I’m actually trying to operate under the table. You just leave this to me. Don’t you worry, Magnus. Epsilon is going to be gone before the day’s done.”

//

The goat hadn’t been in Rallon and Vansell’s room for ten seconds before it started running wild. It was dashing around in circles, knocking over papers, books, and both bedside tables. Rallon’s eyes went wide when it stepped on his blanket, ripping a hole in it as it dragged off his bed.

Because the space was so small, Epsilon was able to catch up to it quickly (although he did run in circles for a bit) and caught it with his makeshift lasso. He pulled it closer to the door, making sure to be gentle with the animal. He didn’t have it under control for very long before the door suddenly opened, and he had to hold it back from running away. He smiled when Drax walked into the room.

“So, there’s been a little goat-astrophe, eh?” he said, his forest green eyes shifting between Epsilon and the goat. “Well, I might know what to do. Just give me that goat and you won’t see it again.”

Epsilon shrugged. “Sounds good to me.” He unwrapped the rope from around his hand, then passed it to Drax.

Drax smiled at everyone’s relieved expressions before leading the goat out of the room. As soon as the door was closed behind him, he pulled out a small piece of paper from his pocket and taped it around the rope. The note card contained only one sentence, which read, _If found, return to Epsilon._

Oblivious to Drax’s true intentions, six of the seven people left in the room sat down on the floor, more than a little bit relieved to be rid of the goat. Vansell, however, did not sit, but instead turned away from his friends and went over to his desk. He grabbed a magazine off of it and left the room, not saying a word to his friends when he left.

The rest of the gang sat in silence for a few seconds until Ushas spoke up, only one thought on her mind.

“Is it just me or was that a bit weird?” she said.

“What?” asked Koschei. “Drax saving our sorry-asses? Because I thought that was actually quite nice.”

Ushas rolled her eyes. “No. I meant the fact that Drax just walked in here knowing exactly what was going on and what to do to take care of it.”

“He didn’t say he knew what was happening,” Millennia pointed out.

“No, but I think Ushas has a point,” said Theta, nodding slowly. “He might not have said anything about what was going on, but he certainly didn’t seem surprised at all to see Epsilon wrangling a goat.”

“To be fair,” said Rallon, “Epsilon does do some really weird stuff. So does Drax.”

“Not that weird,” Epsilon argued. “Where do you even get a goat? Are they even on Gallifrey? I thought they were from that one planet. You know, that weird blue and green one?”

“Earth,” Theta supplied. He pushed his blond hair back out of his face.

“Yeah, that place.”

“Think he was up to something?” asked Rallon, turning his head to look at Ushas.

She nodded. “Always.”

“Should we see what he was doing?”

“No. He’s probably just using it for some sort of personal gain. That or he was the one who put it there in the first place. You never know with him.”

“Well, personally, I’m beat,” said Theta. “I’m going back to our room. See you later, guys.”

Koschei nodded and stood up. “I’ll come too.” He offered Theta a hand to help him stand up, and they left the room.

Everyone else dispersed rather quickly after that, and soon enough it was just Rallon and Millennia left in the room, neither one of them really sure what to make of the situation they had just unintentionally been a part of. A few minutes passed before either of them could even think of anything to say, but when the silence was finally broken, it was by Rallon.

“You want to just, like, never talk about that again?” he said, tearing his eyes away from the door to look at his friend.

Millennia nodded. “Very much so.”

“All right, well, let’s change the subject then.” Rallon turned his head around the room slowly, as if looking for something to talk about. As much as he wanted to talk to Millennia, his natural ability to be incredibly socially awkward was kicking in and he was having trouble breaking out of the funk. After giving up on choosing a topic, he opted to go with a more generic question. “So, have you been up to anything new recently?”

“Not really.” She shrugged. “If I had, I probably would have mentioned it in our meetings at some point. I’m not one for secrets.”

“I’ve noticed.”

When Rallon spoke, he was thinking about more than one thing that he had noticed about Millennia. He couldn’t explain his fascination, but every time that he saw her, he couldn’t help but look at every little detail about her. The slight reflectiveness of her bright blue hair, the spark in her gorgeous gray eyes, the way she bit her lip when she smiled.

Rallon had long since accepted the fact that he had a crush on her, but he didn’t intend on doing anything about it. He was almost certain that she wanted to just be friends, and he would never want to jeopardize their current relationship—no matter how badly he wished that they could be more than they were.

Millennia smiled. “You don’t talk at meetings as much, though,” she said, pulling a stray lock of hair behind her ear. “Any chance you’ve been up to something new that you’ve yet to tell the rest of us about?”

_Other than the fact that I’m basically in love with you?_

“No.” Rallon shook his head, pushing back the thoughts that attempted to bubble their way to the surface. “No, I don’t think so. You know me. I’ve got that reputation for being the one boring person in the Deca. I’m never really up to anything more interesting than chasing goats.”

“What happened to never talking about it again?” Despite her words, Millennia smirked, and Rallon couldn’t help but acknowledge just how adorable it was when she did so.

Although he kept quiet on the outside, Rallon let out a heavy sigh mentally. It was taking more work than he could have imagined keeping quiet while he was alone with Millennia, but he didn’t want it to end. Even if it was unbelievably awkward from his perspective, Rallon loved being alone with her and he hoped that the moment would never end.

Which was why he was so bummed out when the door opened and Mortimus walked into the room.

“Yo,” he said, closing the door behind him. He had a slightly confused expression on his face, as if he had been expecting to see something else when he walked in. “Do you know where everyone is? I haven’t been able to find anyone all day, and Old Magnus just told me that he saw all of you guys hanging out in here. And he mentioned a goat, which I’m suddenly realizing isn’t normal.” His shoulders sagged. “I’ve been pranked, haven’t I?”

Millennia shook her head. “No. There was definitely a goat in here earlier, and most of the rest of us. You just missed it.”

“Yeah.” Rallon nodded and crossed his arms. “Everyone just left a few minutes ago after Drax took that goat out of here. It was pretty crazy. Where have you been all this time?”

“I don’t know.” Mortimus shrugged as he stepped further into the room. He glanced around at the mess but didn’t comment on it. “I was doing creeper stuff, I guess. You know me.” He waved a hand in the air dismissively. “So, guys, catch me up on this goat situation. I’m intrigued.”

Rallon let out another mental groan when Millennia began to explain what happened. So much for spending some quality alone time with the girl of his dreams.

//

It would be an understatement to say that Jelpax was disappointed when Vansell returned.

He had been gone for far longer than it should sensibly take to grab anything from his dorm, which had given Jelpax hope that he had gotten distracted and wasn’t planning on returning at all. He would have preferred it that way—no more talk of gaming competitions, and plenty of quiet alone time for him to read his book—but of course, right before he flipped to the last chapter in his book, the door opened and in walked Vansell.

“Hey,” he said. “Sorry that took so long. You’ll hear about it later. Come over here.”

Vansell returned to his seat in the beanbag chair and Jelpax reluctantly sat down beside him in the other one. Neither of them spoke for a minute, as Vansell flipped through the pages of the magazine in his hands. He stopped when he came to a full-page advertisement with the picture of _Destination Z_ ’s box art, and a big header that informed of the tournament opportunities that were still forthcoming.

“See?” said Vansell. He handed the magazine over to Jelpax, who didn’t even bother feigning interest when he took it. He briefly acted as if he was reading it, then looked back over at Vansell expectantly. “You and I could crush those things. Well, you more than me, but you don’t have anything to practice on and I want the prizes, so…” He shrugged.

Jelpax sighed. “Look, mate, I don’t want to be a jerk, but I’m not going to do this with you.”

“Oh, come on, Jel. You’re so good. There’s no way that you’ll lose. Think of the prizes!”

“I am thinking of the prizes.” He tossed the magazine onto the futon in front of them, then leaned back in his seat. “I'm thinking that I don't care about the prizes.”

“Really?” Vansell groaned. He reached out and grabbed the magazine, then folded the advertisement over the back pages. He pointed to various items on the prize list. “Look at this! You could win so much money. We might even get time off from school if we have to travel for tournaments.”

“Time off from school? You really don't know how to convince me, do you?”

He shrugged. “Come on, Jel. It would be good for you to get out of this hole for once. You barely even go outside.”

“I prefer not to interact with the hellish designs of Mother Nature.” Jelpax made a face.

“That's the beauty of this. You don't have to. All you have to do is get in a bus and go to another well air-conditioned place, which will probably be filled with other freak shows just like you.”

“I really don't want to meet other people, Van. If they don't go to school here, then they're probably just lowlife dorks from the Cerulean Chapter.”

“I wouldn't be too worried about them,” said Vansell, an odd look crossing his face. “Although I've heard rumors that there are some Scendeles who are freakishly good at video games. _Destination Z_ especially.”

“Probably because they already live like they're in the apocalypse. To them it's just like real life but with people shooting at you. Definitely gives them a bit of an advantage.”

Jelpax nodded. “Either way, I would rather not associate myself with either of them if I can so help it.”

“You are such a Prydonian.”

“As are you.”

Vansell rolled his eyes and tossed the magazine away. “Okay, look. How about we try to see this from another perspective? You're not competing for me, or for the prizes. You're doing it to knock off all the other players. We are Prydonians. We deserve better than the Scendeles and Ceruleans.”

As hard as he tried to resist the urge to give into Vansell, Jelpax couldn’t help himself from considering what his friend had said. It was true—he could definitely crush the competition, and in the process knock pathetic players to the curb. If he put his mind to it, he could probably knock down several low-ranking citizens, and eventually make himself into such an influence that he could take everyone off of the charts that he didn’t want there. He could turn professional gaming into an exclusively Prydonian sport. When he thought about it that way, it didn’t seem so bad.

“Assuming that I agree to do this,” said Jelpax, forcing himself to make eye contact with Vansell, “how often would we have to do things? Because I’m truly not going to give up school time just so that you can win some prizes.”

“Around once a month,” Vansell answered, “and probably only more if we win things. Also, don’t patronize me. I know that you’re thinking of how you’re going to get all the low-ranking punks off of the charts. This isn’t a matter of doing something to get me to go away from you anymore.”

Jelpax nodded. “Understood, and all right then. Just know that we’re under the agreement that if at any point I decide I’m not into this anymore, I can back out. Right?”

“Of course. But you’re agreeing to do it, right?”

“I guess.” He sighed. “We better actually be good at this, though. If it turns out we were only good in the comfort of my dorm then we’re going to be done with this. I’m not joining to lose all the time, I’m joining to make a statement. And to get you to go away. Deal?”

Vansell extended his hand. “Game on, Jel.”

//

Drax was not the least bit surprised that it had been so easy for him to gain control of the goat. According to the bits of information that Magnus had given him, none of his friends knew where the goat came from or what it was for, they just wanted it out of the Academy. Drax had thought on that for a bit, trying to figure out the best way to approach them, but decided that just walking in and taking the goat would probably be good enough. Which, of course, proved to be a solid idea.

The plan he had come up with to get rid of the goat was quite simple as well. All he had to do was get the goat, put a sign on it claiming that it belonged to Epsilon, and sneak it through the school and into the Headmaster’s office. Drax had already learned about all the entrances to the Academy so it was going to be no trouble for him to do, so long as the Headmaster wasn’t in his office when he arrived. He had sneaked into enough places to know how to get the Headmaster out if he was in there, though, so that was only a minor concern.

When he finally arrived at the Headmaster’s office, Drax lifted himself up on his toes and peered in the window. He had been incredibly lucky, as there was no one inside. That meant it was just a matter of going fast enough to not get caught. Luckily, Drax had always been a man of speed.

Just as he finished picking the lock on the door, the Headmaster entered his room through the main entrance. Drax ducked down instantly, making it impossible for him to see what the Headmaster was doing. After a few minutes, he peered into the window to see what was going on and sighed when he saw that he was talking to someone. That was a bad sign. Who knew how long he would have to wait?

After a quick check to confirm that the goat was not in range of the window, Drax slumped back down against the door. He tied the goat to the handle, then let go of the rope. He was probably going to be there a long while, so there wasn’t much of a point to him holding the rope himself.

A few more minutes passed, and he decided to peek in the window once more. The Headmaster was still in the middle of his meeting and was speaking with someone who Drax had never seen before. Someone who noticed him standing in the window.

Before the Headmaster could turn around, Drax crouched back down under the window. As soon as the door handle with the goat on it spun around to let him know it was about to open, he stood up and made a run for it. Seconds later he heard the Headmaster’s cries of confusion behind him, but he didn’t stop to listen. He kept running.

That is, until he rounded the corner to the front of the building and ran into Jelpax.

“Whoa, Drax, what’s up?”

He took a moment to catch his breath before responding.

“Nothing. It’s nothing.”

Jelpax frowned. “Sure, it’s nothing. Who were you running from?”

“How do you know that I was running from someone?” he asked, placing his hands onto his hips. “I could have been running from some _thing_. Or I may have just been going for a run.”

“I don’t. But you were running from the Headmaster, right?”

Drax sighed and nodded. “Yeah.”

“What did you do this time?” asked Jelpax. He had a look on his face that was clearly waiting for Drax to explain some sort of stupid stunt that he had been involved in. Drax didn’t comply.

“Nothing.”

“Sure. Sure, you didn’t.” A short silence fell between them as Jelpax gave his friend a strange look. Drax didn’t move as he did so. Jelpax could see right through him and he knew it. He was about to be caught. Damn his lack of acting abilities, and damn Jelpax’s obsessive observational skills too!

However, when Jelpax finally broke his silence, he said something that was completely unexpected, and Drax had to take a moment to truly process the gentle words that had been said to him.

“Hey, are you okay?”

“What?” Drax didn’t even begin to know how he was meant to answer that question. He was sure that the look on his face was nothing short of complete confusion. Jelpax didn’t seem to realize that the question was at all out of the ordinary and failed to react to Drax’s bizarre expression.

“I asked if you’re okay.”

“Yeah, why?”

“It’s just…” He paused, seeming to scan over Drax’s expression once more, his eyes flicking downward slightly before he met his friend’s gaze. “Your hands are shaking.”

Drax swallowed and took a deep breath before responding. He didn’t look at Jelpax when he spoke but crossed his arms in an unconscious attempt to hide his hands and stared down at the ground beside his feet. He knew his voice was going to shake as well, and he didn’t want an uneasy expression to contribute to his untrustworthy appearance. “I mean, I’ve just run pretty much the length of the entire school. D’you think that might play a part in it?”

“Yeah.” Jelpax nodded, although he didn’t seem convinced. “Yeah, that’s probably it. Sit down.”

They walked over to the steps in the front of the school and sat down on the ones second from the bottom. Drax almost expected Jelpax to continue with his interrogation but broke the silence when he said nothing in regard to the situation or otherwise.

“So, what have you been up to?” asked Drax, more than a little eager to change the topic of the conversation. He hoped that if he pushed it aside fast enough, Jelpax wouldn’t bring it up again. He was right in his hopes.

Jelpax glanced over his shoulder before answering, as if checking to confirm that there was no one coming up behind them. “All right, don’t tell anyone, but I’ve been forced to compete in gaming tournaments with Vansell.”

“What?” If he had a confused look on his face before, the one he wore at that moment must have been twice as bad. “What were _you_ doing gaming? Why would he pick you? I mean, no offense, but you and Vansell aren’t exactly buddies.”

“No, but he couldn’t find anyone else, so he made me play _Destination Z_ with him. Turns out I’m very good at it somehow so now he’s all but forced me to enter in tournaments. It’s all right, though. The prizes are brilliant on some of them.”

Drax nodded. “Oh, all right then. As long as you’re getting something out of it.”

“Yeah.” Jelpax sighed. There was barely time for a second of silence to fill the room before he already had another subject to cover. “So, hey, did you hear about that whole thing with Magnus? Apparently, he’s pissed about losing his name.”

“Oh, right. Yeah, I heard about that.”

“Thoughts?”

Drax thought about what he had done for a moment before he shrugged and responded to Jelpax’s question with the most vague, inaccurate answer he could have possibly given, so as not to alert him to any kind of mischief that he had caused.

“Eh, I’m trying to stay out of it.”

//

“I still can’t believe that it was actually Epsilon’s goat,” said Theta, shaking his head slowly. The entire goat situation had been the main topic of the Deca’s weekly meeting. All of them had heard about it already at that point, but the discussions seemed to be endless. “I thought for sure that it was going to turn out to be someone else’s. I mean, I know he’s mad, but he seemed just as confused as we were to see the goat there.”

Koschei nodded in agreement. “It is odd.”

“So is he,” said Ushas. For once, she was not sitting at the professor’s desk, but one of the standard seats in the front row. “I mean, honestly. One of the weirdest blokes I’ve ever met.”

“If it weren’t for Mort, he’d be _the_ weirdest,” Magnus added.

Mortimus chucked a pencil at him. “Hey!”

His roommate grabbed the pencil mid-air and threw it right back at him, snorting when it smacked into his ear. Mortimus, meanwhile, rubbed the side of his head sadly. “Anyway, I’m just glad that I have my spot back now.”

“Yeah.” Theta narrowed his eyes. “And you’d better not take us for granted anymore, or we’ll kick you out again.”

“Wait, when—”

“Nobody move!”

Everyone froze when Epsilon slammed the door open. He began to pace up and down the rows of chairs, inspecting each person as he walked by them. Drax made a face when Epsilon got close to him and scooted away. Vansell didn’t seem too pleased to see him either. Eventually, Epsilon came to a stop at the front of the room, right beside the professor’s desk.

“So,” he said, “which one of you kiddos blamed _me_ for the goat?” When no one answered, he tried again, adding a bit more attitude to his voice the next time around. “Come on. It had to be one of you. I know that I didn’t do it.”

“Or did you?” asked Magnus, raising an eyebrow.

Epsilon seemed to contemplate it for a moment before answering. “I might have, but I really don’t think so. So, come clean. I know that it was one of you. Just tell me who it is. Tell me. Tell me right now. Tell me! Hey, ow! Let go!”

Magnus had stood up from his seat and grabbed Epsilon around the waist. He dragged him straight out of the room, ignoring as his classmate tried to get away, kicking and screaming at him. No one tried to stop Magnus from carrying him away. They simply watched, all of them more than happy to be rid of the nuisance.

Ushas was the first one to continue the discussion once Epsilon and Magnus were out of sight. She turned around to face the rest of the room and cleared her throat.

“Anyone else have anything to bring up?” she asked. “Grades? Failing? The fact that I have the highest scores in our year?”

Vansell ignored her suggestions. “Well, I guess I should tell you guys now that Jelpax and I—”

“What happened to never speaking of it?” asked Jelpax, whipping around to look at Vansell.

“Sorry. I just thought that they might think us being professional gamers is kind of cool. Not everyone thinks that video games are for idiots like you do.”

Jelpax rolled his eyes and didn’t bother adding much input when Vansell began to drone on about what had happened. The truth was, Jelpax didn’t care too much about whether or not anyone knew about the games. He just didn’t want them all to try to pressure him into going on with it. Still, he knew that it wasn’t a big deal, and he turned his attention away from it to focus on the more important matter at hand.

Drax was sitting in the seat ahead and to the right of him, his light gray beanie pulled down over his fluffy bangs. He was chewing on his thumbnail lamely, his eyes focused slightly downcast rather than on Vansell. (Most likely because Jelpax had already told him everything about the video game stuff the night after it happened, and he just didn’t care enough to hear it again.)

While his dress, attitude, and posture might have all been normal, there was one thing that Jelpax couldn’t get past—one thing that he just couldn’t stop himself from worrying about, as hard as he tried to convince himself that it was none of his business.

It was two days later and Drax’s hands were still shaking.


	4. Scandalous Scendeles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jelpax and Vansell persue a Scendel who stole a relic. Ushas starts a new experiment. Rallon and Theta are lab partners.

“I just don’t get it,” said Vansell, smoothing out his dark hair. “We’re here to train for the rest of our lives, and he’s spending his time fussing over a girl?”

Jelpax shrugged as he pulled his backpack over his shoulder. “I don’t really get it either, but apparently a lot of people here think that it’s important.”

“Well, I don’t. I—oh, god. Scendel incoming.”

Both Vansell and Jelpax ducked their heads down as the Scendel walked by, quite a bit of pep in his step. Vansell made a gagging face, and Jelpax didn’t move until he was gone.

“Ugh.” Vansell groaned and ran a hand down his face once the Scendel was out of sight. “I hate Scendeles. They’re so stupid.”

Although it was a rude thing to say, that was not an uncommon opinion at the Prydonian Academy. While they attempted to avoid saying it to the people’s faces (mostly because they would actually have to interact with them to do so), Prydonians had a natural tendency to hate Scendeles and everything about them. The only reason to explain their hatred was the fact that they were at the bottom of the political chain, and statistically the poorest members of society, while Prydonians were at the top of both charts.

Jelpax nodded in agreement, his eyes still lingering down the hall. “Yeah, same, but did you see that?”

“What? That his robes were on backwards?” Vansell made a face. “I mean, I know that they’re a dark color, but how the hell—?”

“No, Van. I’m talking about his watch.”

“He was wearing a watch? Huh. I guess I couldn’t see it through the forest of arm hair.”

“Yes.” Jelpax rolled his eyes. “Do you think that’s why he was in our school? He was buying it from someone?”

“No. Can’t he just go to a regular store for that?” asked Vansell. “Even the dump sells watches.”

“No, you idiot. That watch was a classic. It’s from the Dark Times.”

Vansell sighed. It seemed like quite a stretch to him, that some random Scendel would have a watch from the Dark Times, but he had to trust his friend. Jelpax knew far more about the Dark Times than even the most enthusiastic history teacher, and he had never once been wrong before when talking about the subject. Vansell had always thought that he was too obsessed with it, but no one else seemed bothered by it, so he never approached Jelpax about it.

“They had watches in the Dark Times?”

“Yes. It’s not like we were bloody apes. Of course we still had watches.”

“Okay, okay.” Vansell held up his hands in defense. “I get it. Don’t go on one of those rants again. I can’t take another one.”

Jelpax ignored him. “Whatever. We still need to figure out where that Scendel got it from, though.”

“Why?”

“Because it should be in a museum! There is no way that watch should be on some random person’s wrist. Especially a Scendel’s.”

Vansell nodded in agreement. He pulled his backpack up his shoulder and crossed his arms. “I don’t believe that Scendels should have anything nice,” he said. “If history has taught us anything, it’s that they’ll just ruin it, like the stupid idiots they are.”

Jelpax sighed and gave Vansell a small pat on the shoulder. “And that, my friend, is why you are a Prydonian.”

Vansell couldn’t help but nod in agreement as they walked off down the hallway. He might have been a total jerk when it came to discussing Scendeles, and he was well-aware of that. In fact, he thought, as he walked down the hall with Jelpax at his side, he was quite proud of his ridiculous bias.

//

“All right,” said Professor Azmael as he turned around to face the class. “Everyone can go ahead and pick their partners now.”

Rallon flinched when a paper ball hit the back of his neck. He turned around to see Theta smiling at him, waving for Rallon to come over. He both hesitated and sighed before he moved. Though Theta was technically one of his closest friends, he tended to be far more hyper than Rallon, which was a large factor as to why they didn’t hang out as often as they could have.

He took a deep breath before he stood up and walked over to Theta. Even if they failed their assignment, it wouldn’t make that big of a difference on his report card. After all, he had never been much good at biology anyway.

“D’you want to be partners?” asked Theta, his hazel eyes blinking innocently.

“I kind of figured that’s why you called me over,” said Rallon, as he leaned against the empty desk behind him, “and sure. Why not?”

He grinned. “Yes! Okay, we’re going to do the experiment at your place.”

“What?” Rallon wasn’t entirely against the idea, but he was used to negotiating it first. “But we don’t even know what it is yet.”

“Yeah, I know, but, well, Kos has got some crazy idea in his head, and—actually, you know what? Let’s just leave it at ‘you don’t want to do it there’.”

“Okay.” He shook his head slowly, and before he could properly respond, Professor Azmael spoke again.

“It looks like everyone’s found a partner,” he said. “If you haven’t, then go ahead and hang around after class. I’ll get you paired up. So, for your assignment, I’m going to give you these plastic plants.” He reached a hand onto the desk behind him and held out a plastic plant to show the class. “You have two weeks to make them come to life. Good luck, everyone, and make sure to grab your plastic plant on the way out. Class dismissed.”

Rallon was the to grab their plant as he and Theta walked out of the room and into the busy hallway. He turned it over in his hands several times, inspecting it from each angle. Theta simply stared at it, an incredibly confused expression making its way onto his face.

“So, did I miss something again,” he said, furrowing his brow, “or did he totally not tell us anything about how to make this thing come to life?”

“Nope. You’re right. This doesn’t even have anything to do with what we’ve been studying for the last several months.”

“Then what’s the point?”

“I don’t know.” Rallon shrugged. “Ask him.”

Theta groaned. “I don’t want to. You do it.”

“Why me? He’s your favorite teacher.”

“Exactly.” He nodded. “I don’t want to look like an idiot in front of him.”

“You won’t.” Although it seemed like a lie, what Rallon said was the truth. No matter what he did to turn the professor away, Azmael had always seemed to like Theta.

“You mean ‘wouldn’t’. I’m not going to ask him.”

Rallon sighed. “I guess that means that we’re on our own then. What should we try first?”

“I don’t know.” Theta shrugged and pushed the plant further into Rallon’s arms. “Do you have any ideas?”

“No. That’s why I asked you.”

He groaned. “Oh, this is going to be a long two weeks if you can’t cooperate with me. Just tell me your idea.”

“I haven’t got one,” he insisted, shaking his head. “I was being serious. It’s really going to be a long two weeks if you keep jumping to conclusions.”

“Looks like it’s going to be a long two weeks then.”

Rallon sighed again. He had already known that it would be the second that Theta asked them to be partners.

//

“Ew!” Millennia’s face burned and she felt as if her nose had been assaulted when she walked into her dorm room and was met with the foul smell of… something. “What is that smell?”

Ushas didn’t answer, and so Millennia walked over to her desk and started to look around it. There didn’t seem to be anything there that was out of the ordinary, but there was definitely a seriously nasty, rotten smell coming from somewhere on her side of the room. Millennia put her sleeve over her nose and walked up to Ushas, who was sitting on her bed and reading a book.

“Sorry, I don’t know what that smell is.” Ushas lowered her book and tilted her head slightly to the side. She sniffed once before shrugging. “It might be my new experiment. I’m not sure.”

Millennia made a face. “How can you not be sure? Can you not smell it? That’s the most foul thing I’ve ever had the displeasure of inhaling.”

“I guess it’s just not that bad to me.”

“Then you’ve got no sense of smell. That is honestly one of the most disgusting things I have ever smelled in my life.”

“Okay.” Ushas shrugged. “What do you want me to do about it?”

“Get rid of it.” Millennia pulled her dark gray sweater’s sleeve further down her arm to ensure that she was blocking her entire nose. “It’s definitely your smell, whether it is or isn’t your experiment, so can you please just clean up your stuff and try to figure out what it is?”

“Yeah, I suppose, but I’m still not sure what I’m looking for.”

“Something rotten. It smells like some kind of food died in here.”

Ushas nodded. “I got you. When do you need the smell out by?”

“As soon as possible, please.” Millennia’s eyes were stinging from the stench, and she felt them beginning to water. “It’s really bad.”

“Okay. Tell you what; go see what the others are up to, and I’ll get it all cleaned up by the time you come back for bed.”

Millennia smiled. “Thank you, Ushas.”

Ushas returned the expression, then stood up to cleanse her area. Millennia only watched for a second before walking out of the room, hoping that she would be able to find someone to hang out with quickly. She hadn’t been intending to leave so soon, as she had plenty of homework to do, but she simply couldn’t stand the stench of… whatever it was, for any longer than she absolutely needed to.

//

“This is stupid, Jelpax.” Vansell sighed and kicked a stray soda can across the field. “We’re not going to learn anything from this. I mean, we might lose a few brain cells, but—”

“Shh!”

“What?”

Jelpax turned to him and shot him a look that could only be explained as murderous. “We aren’t supposed to be here and there’s a teacher walking down the hall there.”

“So just tell him that we’re Scendeles. He’s stupid enough to believe it.”

“How do you know that?”

Vansell stared at him as if he was an idiot. “They’re Scendeles,” he said. “They’re all stupid.”

“How much more discriminatory can you get?”

He shrugged innocently, then ducked behind the wall with Jelpax. They had sneaked out of the Prydonians’ area and were creeping around the Scendeles’, where they planned to search for the person who had the watch from the Dark Times. Vansell still didn’t quite believe that it was actually from the Dark Times, but Jelpax insisted that it was true, so he had to believe it.

The Scendeles’ corner of the Academy was not very well taken care of compared to the Prydonians’ own space, and the whole vibe of the cobblestone building was rather more depressing. The Scendeles seemed as if they knew how much they were hated by their neighbors and wanted to pretend that they weren’t. Vansell wasn’t bothered by it, but he did feel the urge to rub his wealth in their faces.

“What now?”

“We have to get in there and find the guy who was wearing the watch.”

“Why? If your little story is true, then it was obviously a Prydonian who sold it to him.”

Jelpax rolled his eyes, a gesture that Vansell was incredibly familiar with. “Because Prydonians are too smart. If we asked any of them who sold the watch, none of them will answer correctly. However, the Scendel will tell us what we want to know because he’s gullible as shit.”

“I don’t know.” Vansell paused and shook his head. “Dourgonn is pretty thick.”

“That’s Dourgonn. I’m talking about the general population.”

“Whatever. Stop being so technical and let’s go inside. I want to get this over with.”

Jelpax sighed. “I don’t know why I hang out with you,” he said. He shook his head and jumped over the short fence into the Scendeles’ Academy building.

The inside of the building was not much better than the outside. Apparently, it took many, many Scendeles to change a light-bulb, because pretty much every other one had burned out, making it incredibly dark and hard to see in the hallways.

“What the hell is this?” Vansell groaned, his shoulders sagging. “You know, for some reason, I thought that they would at least keep the trash chute lit.”

“Me too.” Jelpax nodded. “I suppose they’re worse than we thought.”

“True. Keep moving.”

They walked through the confusing, dark corridors until they were stopped by Vansell’s sudden yelping; a sound that he rarely made. Luckily the reason he had yelped wasn’t anything scary, just someone tapping him on the shoulder.

“Hey!” said the Scendel, rubbing the side of his nose. “You’re those dudes I saw at Prydonian school!”

Vansell shook himself off and stood up straighter. “Academy,” he corrected, “and yes, we are. We would like to ask you about your watch.”

“Oh. No, it’s not for sale. Bye.”

“Wait!” Jelpax shouted. He held up a hand to try to stop him. “Don’t go.” The Scendel turned around, a confused expression on his face. “We just want to know where you got it. It’s very pretty.”

“ _Pretty_?” Vansell mouthed. Jelpax ignored him.

“Oh, this old thing?” the Scendel chuckled and shook a hand through his light purple hair. “I got it for cheap from one of my old friends. We were really close until we got sorted differently.”

“Sorted?”

“You know. He was sorted into Prydonian school, and I was sorted into Scendeles school.”

“Academy,” Vansell corrected, “and you don’t get sorted.”

The freckled Scendel looked shocked. “You don’t?”

“No.” The look on Jelpax’s face was not only that of confusion, but of complete and utter shock. “They’re chapters.”

Vansell took a deep breath and shook his head. He had no idea that Scendels could actually be _that_ stupid. “You aren’t sorted,” he added. “You’re born into it.”

“Really?” asked the Scendel, a puzzled expression on his face.

“Yes.”

“Just tell us where you got the watch,” Jelpax cut in, attempting to correct the change of subject.

The Scendel smiled again, as if the last bit of conversation hadn’t even happened. “My friend Epsilon sold it to me.”

“Iota?”

“What?” He made a face.

“Epsilon _Iota_?”

“No, I think his last name is Hivutupungrim, or something like that. I think I forgot the second half of it.”

Vansell looked at Jelpax and shook his head slowly. “It’s Epsilon.” He sighed. “Mother of Rassilon, we should have known.”

Jelpax shrugged. “Thanks for the information,” he said, turning his attention back to the Scendel.

He smiled. “No problem! Now, I gotta go to bed. I got curfew.”

“Bye.” Jelpax waved to him in a friendly manner, then turned back to Vansell, his face all business.

“We’re going to go talk to Epsilon now, aren’t we?” he groaned.

“You read my mind.”

Vansell trailed just slightly behind Jelpax on the way back to their own wing of the Academy, more than a little bit bothered by what they were about to do.

//

“…and then I was like—oh, my god.” Mortimus covered one side of his face with his hand. “How long is she going to stare at me for?”

“Shh!” Millennia snapped, glancing over at the lunch table beside theirs. “Don’t let her hear you, you dolt.”

“Why?” he asked. Though adept at many psychological subjects, Mortimus didn’t know squat when it came to relationships—especially those that involved women.

“Because you’ll ruin what is probably your last chance with a woman.”

Although she did not like to be blunt about it, Millennia’s statement was very close to the truth. Even though they had only been attending the Academy for a few decades, Mortimus had gone through more than a couple dozen women already and most all of them came to hate him. In fact, by that point, even the girls that he had yet to go out with didn’t like him, as they had heard stories about him from their friends.

Essentially, Mortimus had been blacklisted.

“Wait, I’m out of women?”

She shrugged. “You might have a few left. I just needed to knock some sense into you.”

Mortimus nodded. “Right. Of course, if I was out of women, there’s always—”

“Shh!” Millennia grabbed a magazine off the seat beside her and placed it on the wooden table in front of her as if she was incredibly interested in what it said. In reality, she wasn’t reading it at all, but pretending that she didn’t notice the girl who had been watching Mortimus stand up and walk towards them, a shy smile on her face.

“Hi, Mortimus,” she said, twirling a finger through her golden curls.

“Hi…” Mortimus’s voice trailed off and he turned to look at Millennia pleadingly. He breathed a small sigh of relief when Millennia supplied him with what he needed. “…Antoiefathiphalus,” he finished lamely.

“You can just call me Antoie, you know.”

He nodded and pulled on his collar a bit, as if he was overheating. Millennia kept herself from rolling her eyes. How could he have talked to so many women and still get so nervous about it?

“Yeah, right.”

“Anyway, you look nice today.”

“Thanks,” said Mortimus. “I got a haircut yesterday.”

“I noticed.”

Millennia shot him a look. “Oh! You look good too. I like your, uh, your shirt.”

“Thank you.” Antoie giggled. “It’s the same as yours,” she said, gesturing to her robes.

“Right, ha ha.”

“So, anyway, I was just wondering if you might want to have dinner with me tomorrow?”

Mortimus appeared to be genuinely surprised. It wasn’t often that anyone asked him out—he always approached first, and quickly dismissed all allegations against him.

“Yeah.” He nodded and put on his best smile before replacing his collar. “I would love to. Where and what time?”

“My dorm at seven?”

“Sounds good.” He kept his smile on, his bright white teeth popping out against his dark hair. Even though she would never even consider being with Mortimus in a romantic way, Millennia had to admit that he was pretty charming.

“Bye.”

“See ya.”

As soon as Antoie was back at her own table, Mortimus turned back to Millennia, a clear sense of urgency in his eyes.

“Which room is hers?”

Millennia sighed. “Twenty-four.”

“Ooh! She has a second-floor room?”

“Really? That’s what you’re thinking about right now?”

“Yeah. I hear that if you’re on the even side, like she is, you get a hell of a view.”

//

“Ushas?”

Millennia walked into their bedroom cautiously, ready to cover her mouth again if she needed to. She felt all right at first, as the room looked much cleaner, but as soon as she stepped into the room, her nose burned. If it was possible, the room smelled even worse.

“Ushas?” she called. “Where are you? Did you get it cleaned up?”

Just a moment later, Ushas strode out of the restroom, her hands held behind her back, and her dark brown hair pulled up into a bun. “What is on your hands?”

“I got a bit of stuff on me from my experiment. Nothing that interesting.”

“Are you sure about that?”

Ushas nodded. “Yep.”

“Then why do you smell like the stench?” asked Millennia, raising an eyebrow as her eyes narrowed in curiosity.

“All right, you caught me.” She sighed. “I’m working on a new experiment, like I said. It’s a battery sort of thing, but it’s made entirely from natural chemicals, and it…”

Millennia crossed her arms. “Go on.”

“Well, it…” Ushas hesitated, then sighed, finishing her statement more firmly. “The main ingredient is a six-year-old potato.”

“What?!”

“They’re from Earth. We got a shipment here, and—”

“No, I know what they are. I read about the shipment in my magazine. Six years ago.”

Ushas rolled her dark brown eyes. “Of course you read it six years ago. That’s when the shipment arrived.”

“Yeah, I know. But why are you using a six-year-old potato?”

“It’s because of the starch. The way it reacts with the—”

“You know,” said Millennia, cutting her off as kindly as she could, “I don’t think that I’m really going to understand a lot of what you tell me, so I think that was probably a good enough explanation. I’m just going to go ask around and see if I can stay in someone else’s room tonight.”

“All right.” Ushas shrugged and walked back over to the bathroom. She turned on the sink and covered her hands in soap. “Sorry about the smell,” she said. “You should ask Felicilai about a place to stay. She always sprays it with that flowery stuff so that it smells like a garden. That and she’s got this blow-up mattress thing that you can sleep on.”

Millennia smiled. “Thank you for the tip.”

She walked over to her dresser, grabbed everything she thought she would need for the night, and stuffed it into her backpack. As she headed out of her room, she hoped beyond anything that Felicilai would be kind enough to let her stay over. She couldn’t take another moment of the stench—especially not while trying to fall asleep.

//

“She hates you?”

“Yes,” Mortimus repeated. “She absolutely hates me.”

He, Magnus, Millennia, and Drax were all sitting around their usual table and chatting during their meal. Jelpax and Vansell had not yet shown up for lunch, and no one had really seen Theta or Rallon since the beginning of the week, which meant the table was less than half empty.

“How the hell could that even happen?” asked Drax. “It was the first date!”

“I know.” Mortimus grimaced as he nodded. “She said that I was creepy and then she made me leave and canceled the date.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Magnus waved a hand around in the air. “We’ve all heard this story ten times before.” He didn’t look away from his laptop when he spoke again. “Drax, get over here. Sit.”

Drax wasted no time walking over to the other side of the table. He wasn’t sure why Magnus would ever want to sit next to him, but no matter what it was, he didn’t want to linger and risk setting off his rage.

“What?” he asked, running a hand through his light brown bangs.

“What’s wrong with my computer?”

He let out a breath. Of course Magnus needed mechanical help. Why else would he want to talk to Drax?

“Let me see.” Drax pulled the laptop closer to him and clicked around a bit. Magnus didn’t stop him from doing anything, so he guessed that what he was doing was all right. After looking through the most easily accessible bits of his computer, he turned back to Magnus.

“There’s something wrong with the memory,” he concluded.

“You think I don’t know that?” Magnus snapped. He crossed his arms, an annoyed expression on his face. “It’s been deleting things randomly for three weeks. Tell me what exactly is wrong with the memory.”

Drax shook his head, his fingers tapping against the table repeatedly. “No. You don’t want to hear me ramble about it.” He ran a hand down his freckled face. “I’ll tell you what. I take this back to my room today, and I give it back tomorrow, all fixed up, no memory problems to be seen.”

Magnus put a hand on top of Drax’s fingers, preventing them from tapping against the table. Drax retracted his hand quickly, his face flushing pink in embarrassment. He crossed his arms to keep his fingers from moving anymore.

“We can do that,” said Magnus. “Just know that I’m not going to give you anything in exchange, and you aren’t allowed to look at anything on there besides the system.”

“Yeah, of course.” Drax nodded. “I don’t really want to know much more about you anyway.”

“Mutual.”

“Okay, so I’m going to go work on this.” He closed the laptop and pulled it into his arms. “I will see you at breakfast tomorrow. Guaranteed fix or your money back.”

“I’m not paying you.”

“I know. It was a joke.”

There was no trace of amusement on Magnus’s face. “Well, don’t.”

Drax shook his head as he walked out of the room, and it took Magnus a second to realize that Mortimus and Millennia were suddenly staring at him. He shot them an odd look.

“What?” he asked.

“That’s not how you treat people who are trying to help you,” said Millennia, as if it was the most obvious answer in the world.

“Yeah.” Mortimus nodded in agreement. “You were pretty intense, and you know that Drax can’t take that.”

“I don’t care.”

“Okay.” Before Millennia had a chance to scold Magnus more, Mortimus went on. “Anyway, let’s get back to my problems, because I still don’t get how she hates me already.”

“Well,” said Millennia, “what happened on the date?”

“I guess that it all started when she opened the door.”

.

_“Hey,” said Antoie, a bright smile on her face. Mortimus briefly wondered why he hadn’t ever asked her out first. She really was pretty._

“Hi.” Mortimus grinned back at her. “You look beautiful tonight.”

_“Thank you.”_

_“So, you ready to go?”_

_“Yep. I’m just going to grab my purse.”_

_“Okay.”_

_She came back a minute later, and waited patiently as Mortimus stared at her, not saying a word._

_“Is something wrong?” she asked, smoothing out her dark pink dress._

_He shook his head. “Not with me,” he said, scanning her face for any trace of emotion. “Are you all right?”_

_“Yeah. Why?”_

_“You look like you’ve had a long day. Did you get into a fight with someone? A friend? Wait, no. Best friend.”_

_Antoie hesitated before nodding solemnly. “Uh, yeah. How did you—”_

_“Your face looks emotionally damaged and there’s a shattered picture frame on your floor. Any chance that your friend had a crush on me?”_

_“What—?”_

_“No. She dated me once, didn’t she? Damn. Sorry. I’ve gone out with a lot of girls.”_

_“How are you—?”_

_“Look, I’m sure that whatever the fight is about, it’ll blow over. Unless it actually is about me. I tend to shatter people’s relationships. It’s a side effect of knowing me.”_

_“Stop!” Antoie snapped, whacking him in the arm with her black purse. “You know what? I’m not really in the mood to do this anymore. Bye.”_

.

“…and that’s when she slammed the door in my face!” Mortimus sighed, running his hands down his face. “What did I do wrong?”

There was a moment of silence at the table before Magnus suddenly burst into laughter. “What about that story _wasn’t_ wrong?” he snorted, wiping a stray tear from his eye. “God, Mort. You’re a freak show!”

“Magnus!” Millennia scolded. She glared at him, then took a deep breath and turned back to Mortimus, attempting to find a nice way to explain what had gone wrong. “I think that you just came off a little bit too intense, sweetie,” she said, rubbing his shoulder comfortingly.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“Well, you’re really nice once people get to know you but sometimes it’s just hard to talk to you, because you have a really thick shell around you.”

He nodded, then turned to Magnus. “In Gallifreyan?”

“You’re a creep,” Magnus translated.

His face fell. “Thanks, guys. I think I’m just going to go to class early today.”

Mortimus stood up and sighed as he left the room, his shoulders hunched the entire way.

“What did we do?” asked Magnus, turning back to Millennia.

“Apparently we called him creepy,” she said, unable to keep the edge out of her voice. She snatched her bag off the floor, then followed Mortimus out of the dining hall, leaving Magnus alone at the Deca’s table.

//

“How long have we been walking around for?” Vansell moaned. They had been walking around the dark red halls for what felt like ages at that point, and there seemed to be no end in sight. “I can hardly feel my feet. Are we ever going to go to lunch?”

“Bitch, lunch finished half an hour ago,” Jelpax sassed. He crossed his arms and shot Vansell a look. “We’re only here because I have a free period.”

“Lunch finished half an hour ago?” He glanced down at his watch. “Fuck! I’m supposed to be in emotional detachment right now!”

Jelpax shrugged. “Because you need that class. Anyway, I happen to know that Epsilon has the same free period as me, so he’ll be wandering around here somewhere. Ahh!”

He jumped when Epsilon popped up between them and wrapped his arms around their shoulders, a big grin on his face. “Did I hear someone call my name?” he asked.

“Yes,” said Vansell. He ducked out of Epsilon’s grip, then pointed to Jelpax. “That would be this idiot. He’s got a question for you.”

“Yeah.” Jelpax nodded as he too stepped away from Epsilon. “So, what do you know about the Dark Times?”

He frowned. “It took me a second to remember what those even are, so I guess nothing.”

“Then what were you doing with a watch from then?”

A puzzled expression crossed Epsilon’s tanned face. “You meant that piece of nauhust poo that I gave to that Scendel?”

“Yes.”

“Oh. Well, I found that on our last field trip. He bought it off of me for five-hundred bucks. Can you believe how stupid some people are?” He laughed.

Jelpax had to stop himself from slapping his forehead. “Our last field trip? To the museum?”

Epsilon nodded. “Yep.”

“You stole that from a museum?” Vansell gaped, his dark gray eyes going wide. He knew that Epsilon was known for doing stupid things, but stealing from a museum exceeded the stupidity of most—if not all—of those other stupid things. He turned to Jelpax, a look of disbelief on his face. “And to think that I was about to go to class.”

“Wait!” Epsilon cried, a look of sheer alarm filling his face. “I didn’t steal anything. I swear.”

“All right. Tell it to the Headmaster,” said Jelpax, reaching for his arm. Epsilon stepped just out of reach.

“Stop. You have no proof. You would have to get the watch back from the Scendel to bust me on what you think happened.”

“And how would we go about doing that?”

Epsilon shrugged. “He’ll probably want to be reimbursed. I’ll tell you that much.”

“And you think that I have five-hundred dollars laying around to give him with?”

“Yeah. You’re a Prydonian., just get some cash. There’s ATMs all over the place. They’re practically vending machines.”

Vansell shook his head and turned back to Epsilon. “Just give us the five-hundred bucks that he gave you.”

“I can’t. I already spent it.”

“On what?”

“I can’t remember.”

Vansell took a deep breath to keep himself from punching Epsilon right then and there. “What the actual hell? How do you not know what you spent that much money on?”

“Hey.” Epsilon held his hands up in defense. “I can’t defend that, but I can say that I’m innocent in the watch scandal. The museum idiots are the ones who shouldn’t be leaving stuff just lying on shelves.”

“Display shelves?” Jelpax snapped.

“That is a kind of shelf.”

He curled his fingers into tight fists. “I… literally have no idea what to say.”

“Tell me to take care of it myself?” Epsilon suggested.

“I can’t. If I do, you won’t, and then that beautiful artifact will be forever wasted, and most probably destroyed.”

“All right, then we need some crazy plan to get it back.” He grinned, an evil glimmer in his eyes. “And I think I’ve got just the thing in mind.”

//

“So, what are we going to do about this?”

“Keep staring at it? That’s worked for the last fifty-three hours.”

Theta shrugged and nodded approvingly. “Good idea,” he said. “We’ll probably come up with something if we just keep wasting our lives staring at this stupid freaking plant!”

Rallon and Theta had been working tirelessly on their assignment ever since they had gotten the plastic plant. At that moment, they were sitting on the floor in Rallon’s room, staring at the inanimate object in front of them. They were less than happy to be doing it, but they needed to keep working. They had no other ideas, and if they didn’t come up with something fast then they would probably fail.

“It’s not a plant,” Rallon mumbled, resting his cheek on his hand. “It’s a piece of plastic that looks like a plant.”

“Who cares?” Theta groaned. “All I see is a bad grade and a failed class.”

“That’s all you ever see.”

Theta nodded again. Rallon was not wrong about that, after all. Theta had never gotten the best grades and was only barely scraping by in the classes that he was taking at that point. He didn’t think that it was necessarily a bad thing, though. When you got good grades the Time Lords always kept an eye on you, but when you were stupid, everyone turned a blind-eye to your schemes.

“Maybe we should ask Ushas about it,” Rallon suggested. “She’s always doing extra work. She might have read far enough ahead to know what we’re supposed to be doing.”

Theta shook his head. “Nah. She’s always too busy to pay attention to us. She’ll probably just yell at us to go away so she can finish whatever experiment she’s working on today.”

“True. Hey, what is she working on?”

//

“Hey, Ushas, I need to borrow—holy mother of all that is pure! What the hell is that smell?!”

Ushas puffed out a breath before answering, not bothering to look up from her work. Somehow, Koschei had already managed to annoy her in the span of twenty seconds. Why did he think that he could just walk into her room whenever he wanted anyway? “I know it smells a bit, but it’s going to be worth it,” she answered.

“A bit?” Koschei spat. “That is not a bit.”

“You get used to it.” She shrugged. “You want to see?” She picked up the tray she had everything on and walked towards him.

“I swear to Rassilon, if you bring that potato any closer, I will throw up.”

“Your loss. It’s actually a really cool experiment.”

Koschei pulled his long black sleeve over his nose while Ushas walked back over to her desk and replaced the tray. “Oh, my god,” he said. “How does Millennia even sleep in here at night?”

“She doesn’t.” Ushas grabbed a pair of safety goggles and put them on over her dark hair. “She’s been staying in someone else’s dorm.”

“Wait, you actually drove someone out?” Koschei sighed and shook his head. “I know that this day would come eventually. You’re ruining lives, Ushas, and I can’t let you go on like this.”

“I’m not ruining lives, you moron.” She rolled her eyes. “As soon as I’m done with this experiment she’s going to come back.”

“She better had. I don’t want Millennia’s life to be messed up because of you. She’s a good person.”

Ushas ignored him. “So, what was it that you wanted to borrow from me?”

“It was, uh…” His voice trailed off, and he ended up waving his hand in the air dismissively. “You know what? I don’t even remember. Let’s just forget about this. I’ll see you later.”

She watched as Koschei slowly backed out of the room, the exposed part of his face revealing all his disgust. She thought that it was quite funny to see him like that, but it was obvious that he did not feel the same way. That was all right with her, though. Pretty much all they ever did was fight anyway. She didn’t have a problem with them having another disagreement.

Ushas went back to her experiment, already having forgotten about Koschei, and somehow, the stench still didn’t reach her nose.

//

“This has got to be one of the creepiest things I have ever done in my life.”

Vansell groaned as he climbed back over the fence to the Scendeles’ wing of the Academy. He hadn’t wanted to sneak out so late at night, but he was already so involved in what was happening that he felt the need to see what was going to happen next.

“Get over it,” said Jelpax. “Drax’s ideas always work.”

“Then I’ll ask again; if this was Drax’s idea, why didn’t he come?”

“He said he was fixing something for Magnus,” he answered, his shoulders sagging slightly. “Apparently he likes Magnus more than me now. You can imagine the sting I got off that one.”

“Yeah, because we all know how much you value your friends.”

Before Jelpax had a chance to respond, Epsilon let out a very audible huff and crossed his arms. “I still don’t understand why we couldn’t use my plan,” he said. “I mean, like, why does Drax get to make the plan anyway? He’s not even a part of this.”

“Because your plan was shit,” said Vansell. “We’re not super spies. We don’t have half of the equipment you wanted us to use.”

Epsilon nodded, his light hair blowing slightly in the cold breeze. “Point taken.” He stopped suddenly, then pointed upwards. “Look! That’s his window. I know because I used to climb in it all the time before we stopped being friends.”

“Why did you stop being friends?” asked Jelpax, his natural curiosity taking over.

“Because he stopped taking showers.”

“Guys, stop. If that’s the window, can we just lift him up already?” Vansell jabbed a thumb in Epsilon’s direction.

“All right.” Jelpax turned to Epsilon. “Climb on our hands.”

Epsilon did as he was asked and they lifted him up the dingy, moss-covered brick wall. He reached frantically for the gutter on top of the short dorm building, causing both Vansell and Jelpax to cry out.

“No!” Vansell shouted. “Not the gutter. The window! The open window!”

“Oh, okay. Sorry, I can do that. I thought we were trying to get on top of the building.”

“Why the hell would you think that? We’re trying to get into that idiot Scendel’s room!”

Epsilon rolled his eyes. “I know.”

He reached up again and latched onto the windowsill. He struggled for a moment as he attempted to pull his weight up, but less than a minute after they had lifted him, Epsilon had safely fallen in through the window.

He crawled over to the first bed that he saw, which was covered in little kid blankets and stuffed toys made to resemble cartoon characters. Epsilon ignored them, and the person sleeping beneath them once he had confirmed he was not wearing the watch, then turned around to check the boy’s desk. There was nothing there, nor on his floor, under his bed, or in his hamper. He sighed before repeating his actions on the other side of the room to make sure that the roommate hadn’t taken it. He hadn’t.

Epsilon was getting ready to go back to the window when his eye caught on something shiny beneath the window. His brown eyes went wide, and he groaned as he walked back over to the window.

“It’s gone,” he called quietly, as he poked his head out of the window. “He sold it again.”

“Are you sure?” asked Vansell, the expression on his face clearly dejected.

He nodded. “Yes. It’s not in here, and there’s a huge wad of cash on the floor. Easily twice as much as he gave me, in fact. Fucking scam artist. God.”

“Dude, just shut up and get down here,” said Jelpax, gesturing for him to come back down. “We’ve got to come up with a new plan.”

“Okay. One sec.”

Epsilon turned around and bent down to pick up the stack of cash by his foot. He stuffed it into his jacket pocket and climbed out of the window. He didn’t start to count it until he was safely on the ground, at which point both Vansell and Jelpax stared at him in apparent shock.

“Why did you bring that?” asked Vansell.

He shrugged. “Because I wanted my money back.”

“It’s his money. You spent yours.”

“How about we donate it to the museum then? Everybody wins that way and you lot can get the hell over it.”

“No. I don’t care about the money. I was just making sure that you knew that it wasn’t actually yours, because you didn’t seem to know that.”

Epsilon narrowed his eyes. “I knew that,” he said, as he crossed his arms against his chest.

“Both of you shut up,” Jelpax snapped. “Let’s go find the watch.”

They nodded and headed inside of the building, being sure to stay in the shadows as they walked up the stairs. The Scendeles might have had inadequate lighting on the inside of the building, but the outside was overly-lit, if that was even possible to do.

Vansell wasn’t sure where he was going when they went into the building, so he chose to follow Jelpax with no audible directions, and Epsilon seemed to be doing the same thing. They looked around the dorm halls for a few minutes, until Jelpax came to a stop in one of the doors.

“This one,” he said, peeking beneath the door.

“How do you know?” asked Vansell. “What makes this room different from the other… however many we walked by?”

“Because someone is awake in there. I saw it when we were outside. It’s a long shot, honestly, but I’m going to take the chance that they’re breaking curfew to play with their new watch.”

He knocked on the door quietly, and there was a slight hesitation before it swung open, revealing a petite ginger girl on the other side of it. Vansell breathed a sigh of relief when he noticed the watch around her wrist. He might actually get to sleep for more than an hour.

“Excuse me,” said Jelpax. “I just wanted to—Epsilon!”

Epsilon didn’t stop to listen to what he had to say. He had ripped the watch right off the girl’s wrist and took off down the hallway with it, leaving Vansell and Jelpax standing there in silence. The girl’s mouth dropped open, and Jelpax spoke quickly to fill the gap.

“Well, I suppose that’s all we needed. Thanks.”

With that, he copied Epsilon and tore off down the hall, Vansell following close behind him as they blasted out of the Scandles’ Academy dorms.

//

Drax was holding Magnus’s laptop when he walked into the dining hall the following morning. His pale, vaguely freckled face was practically glowing, despite the slightly red bruise beneath his left eye. He smiled to his friends when he sat down beside Magnus who, for once, did not scoot away from him. He placed the laptop down onto the table and slid it over to him.

“It’s all fixed,” he said cheerfully.

“Great.” Magnus didn’t smile but nodded his approval. “What was wrong with it?”

“Well, the memory, of course, but also the power system. I had to replace the battery with something much more powerful and I think that should work a lot better for you. Then I noticed a bit of glitching, so I decided to try and fix the—” His face suddenly fell, and he bit his lip lamely. “Sorry. I’m babbling again.”

“Yes, you are.”

“I’ll go sit on the other side of the table now.”

“Good idea.”

Drax, clearly less happy, sat down on the other end of the table across from Millennia. She shot him a friendly smile which he did not return.

“Where’s Jelpax?” she asked, twirling a stirrer through her golden coffee mug.

“He wouldn’t get out of bed this morning,” Drax answered, a puzzled expression on his face. It was reasonable, as Jelpax was quite the early bird, and it was more than slightly strange that he wouldn’t want to wake. “In fact, I tried to make him get up, and he threw his alarm clock at me.” He pointed to the bruise on his cheek, and Millennia winced.

“Wow,” said Mortimus, shaking his head slowly. He put an arm around Drax’s shoulders. “That’s rough. I really feel for you.”

“Stop it, Mort. I’m not going to give you any favors.”

Mortimus sighed and retracted his arms. “Okay. Sorry.” He glanced around the table as Drax stood up, then made a face. “Hey, has anyone else noticed that there’s only four of us here again? We just got a story for Jelpax, but where’s the others?”

“Who knows.” Magnus shrugged, his eyes fixed on his newly-repaired computer. “I personally don’t care.”

“Magnus, he’s right,” said Millennia, looking around the room. “I know that Ushas has been working on an experiment, but we haven’t seen Koschei all week. Do you think that someone should go check on him?”

“No. If something was wrong with him then Theta would have thrown a fit a long time ago.”

Although she didn’t like the wording of his statement, Millennia had to agree. “True,” she said.

Before the conversation could go any further, the four of them were interrupted by a faint ringing sound coming from Drax’s pocket as he returned to the table. He sighed and dropped his breakfast tray in front of his seat before pulling out his phone. He glanced at the screen, then frowned, his slightly annoyed expression transforming into one of concern.

“Be right back,” he said. He answered the phone and put it to his ear as he began to pace out of the dining hall. “Hey, Dad…”

“What now?” asked Mortimus, staring down at his food. “There’s no fun left here.”

“Eat your breakfast,” Magnus suggested. “What else are you here for, you pig?” He narrowed his eyes, which were still fixed on his computer screen. “Good lord, what did Drax do to this?”

“What?” Millennia turned to him, taking a quick sip of her drink before continuing. “I thought that Drax said he fixed it.”

“He did. It’s like a bloody super computer! It’s doing everything and then some. What the hell even is this?”

Millennia turned her attention back to Mortimus when it became clear that Magnus was busy staring down whatever content was on his screen.

“So,” she said, “have you apologized to Antoie yet?”

Mortimus nodded. “Yeah. She gave me a hug and accepted my apology and whatever, but she also said that I’m creepy and she’s never going to talk to me again. Mixed signals, eh? What do you think it means? Am I going to get to go out with her again?” He made a face. “Or, er, for the first time?”

“I hate to say it, Mortimus, but no.” Millennia shook her head. “I can honestly say that there’s not a chance in the world that she’s going to go out with you after what you did.”

He shrugged. “There’s still a chance in the universe.”

Millennia chose not to respond to his comment. She glanced over his shoulder, to the door at the back of the room. “He’s been gone for a bit,” she mused. “Do you think he’s coming back? We’ve only got a bit of time left for breakfast.”

“Yeah. It’s probably just a routine checkup. People who fail a lot seem to be monitored more. You know, ‘are you doing your homework?’ ‘How are you still failing temporal theory?’ Plus, he left his backpack here, so he’ll definitely have to come back for that.”

“I guess you’re right.”

“Of course I am. See? Here he comes now.” Mortimus pointed to the door, which Drax had finally reentered through. His phone was held tightly in his left hand, while his right hand messed with his hair uncomfortably.

He stopped walking once he reached the table, but he didn’t sit down. He grabbed his backpack and swung it over his shoulder. “I have to go, guys,” he said, his gaze turned down towards his hands. “I just realized I totally spaced on my homework again. See you in class.”

Magnus was the first one to speak once he had left.

“Classic Drax,” he said, shaking his head slowly. “That boy’s got some seriously hellish mood swings.”

//

Ushas didn’t mind missing breakfast. Ever since the boys had boycotted it, the meal was not considered mandatory anymore (mostly due to the concern for the lunch lady’s safety), and she found that the quiet hour in the morning was a brilliant time to work on her experiments. It was also surprisingly pleasant not having Millennia around. Her roommate had never interfered with her experiments in the past, but Ushas had always been restricted to keeping it quiet and odorless. That day, of course, she had no restrictions except for the ones that she set for herself, which she chose not to do.

She smiled to herself, then looked back down at her project, which was a near-complete mess on her desk. She pulled her goggles down over her eyes, reached out to grab her tweezers, and nearly leapt out of her seat when the door swung open.

Professor Borusa didn’t appear to be remarkably bothered by the smell of the potato, but he was bothered by something else. His arms were crossed tightly against his chest, his light eyes slightly narrowed.

“Ushas,” he said, “I’ve been getting some complaints about a stench coming from your room.”

She breathed a sigh of relief. At least she wasn’t in trouble. She could easily explain the situation. “It’s nothing, professor,” she said, forcing a smile. “It’s just my experiment.”

“Which is about to be trash.”

Her face fell. “What?”

“You can’t keep working on that. Not in my Academy. It’s distracting to your peers, and honesty, it’s quite foul.”

Ushas’s mouth twisted into a tight line. She knew that she couldn’t tell off a teacher, no matter how much she wanted to, but she still wasn’t willing to give up on her experiment so easily. She had put far too much work into it to lose it like that. She needed to fight for it, and that was exactly what she intended to do.

“I’m not just going to let you take it. This is very important to me, and once I perfect it, it will be important to you too.”

“Because you can stop me from taking it?”

“I can,” she challenged.

“I’ll fail you if you don’t get rid of it.”

Ushas shot him a smile and reached over to hand him her project. “And the potato is yours.”

//

Professor Azmael stared at the plant, his dark eyes wide in awe. Rallon had lost track of how long he had been staring at it for, and he was starting to wonder if they had made a mistake in fudging the experiment. Surely he wasn’t staying silent for so long because he was trying to find the proper words to praise them with. He was probably preparing to scold them. Rallon never would have gone through with Theta’s plan if he had known that no one else was able to complete the assignment either.

He winced when Professor Azmael finally looked up at him and Theta, his eyes widening when he spoke.

“One-hundred-ten,” he said, looking back and forth between the boys. “One-hundred-ten percent.”

If Rallon’s eyes were wide, then Theta’s were being held open with tweezers. He stared at Azmael in complete and utter shock.

“Seriously?” he said, the disbelief strong in his tone. “I got a better than perfect? Me? Theta Sigma?”

Professor Azmael smiled. “Yes. Both of you. What you’ve managed to do here is something that I never expected. I applaud you both.”

“I’ve got to call my parents,” said Theta, a huge grin breaking out on his face. “If they find out about this then they might actually remember that they have two kids on holiday break this year!” He waved to Rallon and Professor Azmael briefly before running off out of the room.

Rallon watched him go, then sighed. He couldn’t live with the guilty conscience. “Professor,” he began, “I’ve got to tell you something.”

“Yes?”

“We didn’t make the plant come to life,” he blurted. “We couldn’t figure it out, so we swapped the plant with one from the garden this morning. I’m really sorry, I never ment for it to—professor?”

He hadn’t managed to finish before Professor Azmael burst into laughter. “Yes, Rallon,” he said. “I know. It’s completely impossible to make plastic into a real plant. I was just so sick of children arguing in my class that I wanted to give you lot something to slave over. Every class the last two weeks has been completely silent, and the grades are higher than ever! You and Theta only got a better than perfect because you were the only ones who were brave enough to rebel.”

Rallon stared at him. “Seriously? We spent two weeks staring at that for nothing?”

“Yep.” Professor Azmael nodded. “You all did. This is the greatest assignment I’ve ever given out! I should really do something like this every year.”

“Please don’t.”

“You’ll never know if I do or not.”

“I will if I actually study.”

He clapped Rallon on the shoulder. “That’s the spirit!”

Rallon sighed as he walked out of the room, Professor Azmael’s laughter following him all the way into the corridor. Who knew that a professor at the Prydonian Academy could be so… _juvenile_.

//

“No, sir, you’re not listening to me. He _stole a watch_ from the _museum_.”

The day after they got the watch back, Jelpax, Vansell, and Epsilon headed to the Headmaster’s office to tell him what had happened. Jelpax was hoping that it would be a simple conversation resulting in Epsilon being punished, but the last hour of arguing had proved otherwise.

“Okay, I hear you,” said the Headmaster, “but he returned it.”

Jelpax’s face was turning bright red. “Yes, we have been over this. He stole it and gave it back, but he also made a profit of five-hundred dollars off it and stole a thousand dollars from a Scendel!”

“Yes, Jelpax, I understand that. However—”

“In all due respect, sir, there should be no ‘however’.”

“Let me ask you a question.” The Headmaster leaned forwards in his seat, his eyes locked with Jelpax’s. “How do you know that he actually did all of those things that you claim he did?”

“Well,” Jelpax began, “if you must know, I knew nothing about the museum until yesterday. I saw the Scendel wearing the watch before that, and then we found out that Epsilon had sold the watch to him. Then when we tried to rescue the watch, Epsilon stole the money.”

“I see. Did you watch him take it?”

“No.”

“Did you try to make him put it back?”

He shrugged and shook his head. “Not really. It’s basically impossible to stop Epsilon, so what’s the point?”

The room was silent for a moment as the Headmaster seemed to ponder the situation. “Okay. All three of you are in detention every night after dinner for the next two months.”

Vansell groaned. “Thanks, Jel,” he said, as he pushed his chair back. He flicked the back of Jelpax’s head as he walked out of the room, not waiting to be dismissed. Epsilon did the same (although his strike was more of a slap than a flick), but Jelpax was too shocked to move.

He almost wanted to argue with the Headmaster, to try and get out of the punishment, but he decided to trust his better judgment and follow the others out of the room. With the people he called friends, it was only a matter of time before he ended up in detention anyway.

//

“So yeah, this is basically my romantic life as of now. Does anyone see any problems with it?” He didn’t wait for an answer. “No? Well, I’ll tell you what the problem is. There’s nothing there! There is literally nothing left. It’s completely empty. I apparently scare off everyone who wants to date me, and according to Millennia, I’m running out of girls.”

“There’s always the guys,” Magnus snickered.

Mortimus shook his head and leaned back against the desk behind him. “No. See, I thought about that, but then I remembered that all of the boys here stink. They’re all ugly and arrogant and weird.” He looked around the room, his eyes widening slightly. “Not us, of course,” he added quickly. “We’re the eight decent blokes in the school.”

The Deca’s weekly meeting was close to over at that point and, of course, they had yet to talk about anything that actually mattered. Not that the meetings had ever been used for anything real since their earliest days at the Academy, of course.

“Okay, we get it. Can we move onto something else now?” Drax begged. “You’ve been going on about this for like, twenty minutes. This is getting really, really boring. Can we please just talk about something different? Please?”

“Fine. Okay. Who else has something to say?”

“I’ve got something.” Vansell raised his hand and stood up when Mortimus pointed to him, essentially handing over the reins of the meeting. “If Jelpax ever comes to you with an issue that involves Epsilon in any way shape or form, ignore him and run the hell away before he gets you involved.” He sat back down and smoothed out his robes. “That is all.”

Drax momentarily stopped snapping at the rubber band around his wrist so that he could turn his attention to Vansell. “We already knew that, Van. If it involved Epsilon at all we’re supposed to run the other way. Seriously, look in the Deca rule book. It’s actually in there.”

“We have rules?” Theta’s gasp was audible. “I thought that we just did whatever Ushas and Magnus told us and called it good.”

Ushas turned to him and nodded. “That’s true too, but Drax is right. There is actually a list of Deca rules.”

Vansell scoffed. “Give me one.”

“No inter-Deca relationships,” she said quickly.

“I would accept that if inter-Deca was an actual word.”

“It is,” Ushas snapped. She crossed her arms against her chest. “It has a hyphen so it can be counted as an actual word.”

“Whatever. Any more rules we should know about?”

She nodded. “You know what? Maybe I should just go get the list.”

“Yeah, you better had.”

Ushas strode out of the room and disappeared for nearly ten minutes before returning with a bright red notebook in her hands. Her expression was no different from when she left, the sheer annoyance still clear in her eyes. She dropped the book down onto the desk in front of Vansell, who began to flip through it almost immediately.

“What is all of this?” he asked, furrowing his brow. The expression on his face was almost appalled. “Who agreed to these rules?”

“Me,” said Ushas. “I wrote them.”

“And we’re supposed to listen to you why?” Drax questioned, piping up from the back of the room. He was using the desk in front of him as a footrest, and Ushas had to bite her tongue to keep from scolding him.

“Because I’m the leader of the Deca,” she snapped, glaring at him.

“No, you’re not,” said Jelpax, a remarkably confused expression on his face. “We have no leader. You just like to stand at the front of the room during our meetings.”

Drax nodded. “If we had a leader then it would probably be Magnus.”

“What?” Ushas looked horrified. “Why?”

“Because without fail, when it comes down to it, all nine of us are scared of him. In fact, I’m pretty sure that the entire school is afraid of him.”

“True,” said Jelpax.

“You always agree with Drax,” Ushas sneered.

“It’s not my fault that he’s usually right.” He shrugged. “Some people just think before they let things fall out of their mouths.”

Drax made an odd face and shook his head slightly, but only Ushas seemed to notice, and she didn’t care enough to comment on it. Nor did he, apparently, as he said nothing and went back to snapping at his rubber band.

“Anyway,” she said, “you guys should probably all study up on these so that we don’t run into this situation again. I didn’t write these for nothing.”

It only took one word for Magnus to overpower Ushas, and it made her narrow her eyes when he spoke, effectively turning the entire room against her. “No,” he said. “We’re burning those.”

And everyone—minus Ushas—agreed with him.


	5. Cat-astrophe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Theta and Koschei find a kitten. Mortimus stays over with Rallon and Vansell. Ushas tries to find out who sabotaged her project.

“Hey, guys. Or, Vansell.”

Vansell looked up when Mortimus walked into his dorm room and let out an audible groan. Of course Rallon hadn’t locked the door when he left. Of course.

“Hi, Mort,” said Vansell. He spun around in his chair slowly and raised an eyebrow. “What’s up?”

“Can I hang out in here for a while?” he asked, a pleading expression on his face.

“Sure.” He shrugged. “I don’t see why not.”

“Great. I’ll go get packed.”

Vansell barely stopped Mortimus before he walked back out the door. “Wait, what did you just say?”

“I said that I’ll go pack,” he said, turning back around to look at his friend. “I can’t stay over here if I don’t have stuff to get me through the night. Or several nights. Who knows how long Magnus will hold this grudge for.”

He could barely believe what he was hearing. Vansell knew that Mortimus was stupid, but to come into someone else’s dorm room and try to stay over with no prior discussion? It was ridiculous. No one would ever go for it—especially not Vansell.

“Dude,” he said, “you can’t stay with us. I thought that you just wanted to sit in here or something.”

Mortimus chuckled. “Why would I do that?”

“I don’t know. You do weird things. How am I supposed to know what you’re doing? Plus, the way that you phrased it made it seem like you were just going to sit on the couch for a while or steal Rallon’s notes or something.”

“Ah, I see. Well, that’s fine. I’m going to go pack now.”

Vansell slapped his forehead and let out a long sigh. He was fairly certain that the mahogany door frame was smarter than Mortimus. “Mort, you can’t stay here,” he repeated.

“Hey,” said Mortimus, crossing his arms, “it’s not nice to back out of an agreement once it’s already been made.”

“What deal? We never made a deal. You just came in here and decided that you were going to stay over. It’s not like we shook on it or anything.”

“While that may be so, I mentally shook your hand and that’s pretty much the same thing. I mean, it might not have been a physical shake, but it was a shake all the same.”

“No, it wasn’t,” Vansell argued. “It can’t be a shake if I don’t shake back, and I didn’t. Not mentally nor physically.”

He shrugged. “Say what you want, but I’m going to stay here because you agreed to it. See you in a couple hours.”

Vansell barely waited until the door was closed to scream into his pillow.

//

While Mortimus was packing and Vansell was screaming, Theta and Koschei were walking outside, knee-deep in a discussion, which most recently found Theta scoffing. Koschei may have been his best friend, but they argued nearly as often as they had civil discussions, which annoyed him more than it should have. He knew that it was unintentional, and it was mostly because of his upbringing, but Theta just couldn’t get past Koschei’s terrible self-righteous attitude. Sometimes it was even worse than Magnus’s.

“You’re not even listening to what I’m saying,” said Theta, narrowing his hazel eyes. “You couldn’t do it. It’s not even remotely possible.”

Koschei rolled his eyes. “Because there is anyone who could possibly stop me?”

“Dammit, Koschei. Pull your head out of your arse for one minute and listen to what I have to say! You can’t do it because—what was that?”

“What was what?” He whipped his head around to see if he could find what Theta was talking about, but all he saw were the finely trimmed red bushes beside the stairs leading into the Academy.

“It was like a little squeaking noise. Some kind of a chirp, maybe? I don’t know. It was really high pitched. At first I thought it was a—there it is again! Did you hear that?”

“Yeah.” Koschei nodded. “It definitely didn’t sound like a bird, so I don’t think that it was a chirp. Maybe it was some kind of—”

“Meow!” Theta exclaimed, as realization struck him. “It was a meow.”

Koschei raised an eyebrow. “What the hell is a meow?” He received no answer, as Theta was busy looking around for the source of the noise. “Seriously, Thete. What living creature would willingly say ‘meow’?”

“A cat. What else?”

“What the hell is a cat?”

Theta whipped around and flicked Koschei on the forehead. “It’s an animal, you moron. Maybe you should start paying attention in class. Then you’ll actually know things when you need to.”

“Because you pay attention in class, Mr. I’m-Failing-Every-Subject?”

“Shut up, dipshit. I’m trying to figure out here the cat is, and I can’t hear its meowing when you’re shouting bullshit in my ear.”

“Stop saying shit.”

“You stop saying shit, asshole. Why don’t you just get off my—there it is!”

Theta ran off towards the right of the stairs, heading a few feet away from the Academy’s entrance. He looked around him again, searching for the source of the noise. He knew that the cat was probably hiding; wherever it was, it must have been terrified, and he wanted to keep it safe. He had always wanted a pet, after all. The Academy didn’t allow them, but that didn’t matter. Theta was good at keeping secrets.

He approached the cat slowly once he spotted it, and quickly recognized that it was not yet full-grown. He didn’t know exactly how old it was, but he didn’t think it could be older than a couple of months. He smiled and reached out to pick it up, and began to stroke its soft, light orange fur, which had little patches of white and brown mixed in. Theta thought that she was quite possibly the cutest thing that he had ever seen.

“Did you find it?” asked Koschei, stepping around the bushes that surrounded them.

Theta whirled around and showed him the cat in his arms. “What do you think?”

“I think that we had better get rid of that thing before someone finds it and sends it back to wherever it came from.” His bright blue eyes went wide. “Oh, my god. Look at the claws on that beast!”

“They’re tiny, Kos. Look.” He made the kitten wave to Koschei, showing off her little claws. “They might be sharp, but they’re really small. There’s nothing to be afraid of. She seems really sweet.”

“How do you know it’s a she?”

“Because she doesn’t have a d—”

“Stop talking. Don’t finish that sentence.”

Theta shrugged. “Okay.” He stroked the kitten’s head and looked down into her little blue eyes. “Aw, she’s just so cute. Let’s take her back to our room.”

“Oh, hell no. No way. I am not getting in trouble because you want to keep that thing.”

“Thing? It’s a cat, and since when are you afraid of getting in trouble?” He gasped. “You’re afraid of the kitten!”

“Shh!” Koschei snapped. He glanced over his shoulder and lowered his voice. “I’m not afraid of it.”

“Then stop calling her an ‘it’. Her name is Ginger.”

“Ginger?” He paused, as if trying to remember something, then sighed and crossed his arms. “This is about Jelpax’s hair again, isn’t it?”

“No. It’s because her fur is ginger, and she smells like ginger.”

“Ew. Ginger smells like—”

“Shut up, someone’s coming!”

Koschei nearly toppled over when Theta yanked him down behind the dark orange bushes, but if Theta noticed, he didn’t say anything. The only thing that he cared about was keeping his cat away from Professor Borusa. That is, if it was actually Professor Borusa who was approaching them. He hadn’t been looking long enough to really register who he was looking at, only that it was one of the professors. He quickly peeked over the bushes and confirmed that it was him.

“What the hell was that, Thete?” Koschei snapped, turning sharply to his friend as soon as Borusa was out of sight. There was a look of fury in his eyes that was almost as harsh as looks that Theta had seen Magnus throw around. “Next time just tell me to move. You don’t need to yank me down.”

“Sorry.” Theta shrugged innocently. “I didn’t think that I was actually strong enough to pull you. I just figured that you would take the hint and follow me down.”

“That is the dumbest thing I’ve heard all day, no offense meant.”

“None taken. That was mild compared to things that Magnus has said to me.”

Koschei nodded. “True enough. Normally he’s just petty but sometimes he’s really just…” His voice trailed off. “I mean, remember what he said to Jelpax last night? It’s like, jeez, bro. How low can you go?”

“I know, right?” Theta slowly stroked the fur on Ginger’s back. He glanced down at her, not speaking as his soaked in every ounce of her. He noted that Koschei kept glancing at her, as if she was going to suddenly leap out of Theta’s arms and claw his face off.

“You’re not really going to keep that thing, are you?” asked Koschei, chewing lamely on his thumbnail. His eyes were not fixed on Theta, but on the creature in his arms.

“Yeah, I am. I can’t leave her out here. She’ll starve!”

“No, it won’t. There’s loads of food. Look around. There’s mice and rovies, and if she can’t kill those, then she can pick up some litter to eat. There’s shit-loads of it lying around.” He paused and took a moment to survey the scene around him. “God, for being such prats, Prydonians aren’t very clean, are we?”

Theta shook his head. “It’s shameful, really. We pick on other people for their habits, and we’ve got this disgusting one of our own. Quite literally, I might add.”

“That might be true, but Scendeles are still far nastier than we are.”

“They aren’t the worst, though. What about the Arcalians?” He made a face. “They might be important and smart and stuff, but I’m starting to wonder if the brown on their robes is actually intentional.”

Koschei wrinkled his nose. “You have just changed my whole perspective of the world, Theta Sigma.”

“That’s an exaggeration. I’ve only changed your whole perspective on Arcalians. Although I am very convincing.”

“Yeah, you’re right. But just so you know, as hard as you try, you can’t change my perspective on one thing.”

“What?”

“That cats are not meant to be kept as pets. At least, not at the Academy. Now get rid of that thing before it eats someone.”

“Kos, she’s not going to eat anyone. How could she? They wouldn’t even fit inside her tiny belly!”

He shrugged. “Maybe it’s bigger on the inside.”

Theta stared at him, at a loss for words at the stupidity that had been spewed at him. He rolled his eyes and started to walk back towards the stairs, Koschei trailing close behind him.

“Theta, what are you doing?” he asked. “All jokes aside, you seriously can’t bring that thing into our room. You know how Prydonians hate pets. I think the only people who can even get away with it are Scendeles and that’s just because they don’t understand the health risks.” Theta responded only with another shrug. “Come on, Thete. I don’t want you to get in trouble.”

“Actually, you don’t want _you_ to get in trouble. You just don’t want to keep her in our room because you know that we’ll both get into serious trouble if they find her, and you suddenly care about it.”

“We are definitely going to get into trouble. There is no ‘maybe’ in this.”

Theta smiled. “Then let’s go get in trouble.”

//

Vansell was reluctant to enter his dorm room, and he had good reason for it. He could hear Rallon and Mortimus’s muffled voices through the door, and though he couldn’t tell what they were saying, he knew that no good could come of a conversation with both of them in it. Especially not when it was _only_ the two of them. Still, Vansell had homework to do, so he placed his key in the lock and pushed the door open.

Mortimus looked up first and waved at him, a smile on his face. Vansell did not return either gesture, but instead went straight to his bed and sat down, grabbing his emotional detachment textbook off his nightstand on the way. He was hoping that he could just pretend that Mortimus and Rallon weren’t there, and that they would do the same, but it was an incredibly long shot which ultimately missed the target.

“Hi, Vansell,” said Mortimus. He waved again, but Vansell still ignored him, until Mortimus stood up and walked over to the side of his bed. “What are you doing?”

“Nothing. Go away.”

“Okay.”

Vansell was surprised. Mortimus never backed down that easily. He watched as his friend walked back over to where Rallon was waiting, then pulled a yellow notepad out of his pocket.

“Hey, Rallon,” he said, “can you help me make sure that I’ve got everything?”

Rallon shrugged. “Sure.” He took the notepad from Mortimus and looked down at the first item on the list. “Soda?”

“Check. I put it in the fridge.”

“Frisbee?” He looked mildly confused when he read that one but didn’t say anything about it.

“Got it.” He pointed to a red and orange disk that was sitting on Rallon’s dark red duvet. “Wanna play later?”

“Sure.” Rallon looked back down at the list. “Flamethrower?”

“Right here.” Mortimus reached into the duffel bag beside him and pulled out a full-size flamethrower, complete with ammunition refills. He aimed it at the orange curtain between their beds and moved his hand toward the trigger.

Vansell and Rallon cried out at the same time, causing Mortimus to lower his weapon. He looked nothing short of completely confused, as if he had no idea why they didn’t want him to incinerate their curtains. There was a long silence before Mortimus finally seemed to realize his mistake and nodded, an understanding grin on his face.

“Oh, right,” he said, waving a finger in the air. “I forgot that we aren’t allowed to switch out the curtains.” He shrugged. “That’s all right. Vansell, give me your book.”

“No.”

“Why? Don’t you want to see me burn it into oblivion?”

“No!” Vansell snapped. He threw his hands into the air, to make a point of how ridiculous Mortimus was being. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

“I don’t know. Probably a lot.”

“Amen to that,” Rallon muttered. He glanced at Mortimus before turning his gaze back to Vansell. He normally tried to avoid looking at his roommate when he was angry, but it was nearly impossible with the way that things were going. On the flip side, Mortimus seemed to either not realize or not care that both of them were angry, and simply stood there, flamethrower still in his hand.

“Anyway,” said Vansell, “I don’t care. Just get out of my room and take that damned thing with you.”

Mortimus made a face. “Which damned thing?” he asked, running his free hand through his messy brown hair. “The Frisbee or the soda?”

“The flamethrower, you idiot.”

“Ah, okay.” He nodded. “That makes sense. I was wondering why soda would be damned.” He chuckled. “Just one question: why don’t you like my flamethrower?”

“Because you tried to burn the curtains down with it.”

“Yeah, but then I realized my mistake.”

“Not the right mistake.”

“There were two mistakes?”

“Get out.”

Mortimus raised his hands up in surrender. “Fine. Sorry to be a bother.” He turned around and walked out of the room, not bothering to take anything but his flamethrower with him.

Rallon turned to Vansell sharply, shooting him a sideways glare. “What was that? He just needed a place to stay for the night!”

Vansell couldn’t believe that Rallon was siding with Mortimus after what had happened. “Which wouldn’t have existed if he had pulled that trigger,” he muttered.

“You just can’t let things go, can you?”

“Not things like that. I mean, how stupid can one man be?”

He shrugged. “I think it varies day-by-day with him. Sometimes he’s extremely intelligent and sometimes you just want to clock him because he’s… well, he’s being himself.”

“I don’t care. It was a rhetorical question.” The look on Rallon’s face seemed to be a mixture of realization and embarrassment. “Now, if this is bothering you so much, why don’t you just go find him yourself and get out of my hair?”

“Fine, I will.” Rallon stomped out of the room, but didn’t slam the door shut behind him, instead pulling it slowly until it clicked, signaling that Vansell was at least momentarily free.

He breathed a sigh of relief once Rallon was gone. For all they had known each other for ages at that point, Vansell had never really liked Rallon all that much and nine times out of ten, he could not stand his company. Not because Rallon was in any way a bad person, simply because he could very easily get on Vansell’s nerves and did so more often than he didn’t.

Vansell leaned back in his seat and began to speed through his assigned reading, knowing that there were only moments left before all hell broke loose again.

//

“Theta, you are completely insane. We cannot keep that thing in here.”

Somehow, Theta had managed to not get caught with the cat all the way back to their dorm room. He and Koschei were in there at that moment, Theta sitting on his bed, and Koschei lingering near the doorway. Ever since they had gotten back into the dormitory, a moment hadn’t gone by in which Koschei stopped trying to convince Theta to get rid of Ginger.

“I don’t care how soft it is,” he went on, “or how cute you think it is, or how much you supposedly love it. We would get expelled if they found that thing in our room.”

“Now you’re just exaggerating,” said Theta, rolling his eyes. “You know that they won’t expel us for something like this. We’ll get detention for a few months, sure, but we’re not going to get expelled.”

Koschei narrowed his eyes and took a step back. Judging by the way that he looked at Ginger, it was clear to Theta that he did not like the way that she was staring back at him. “Are you saying that you _want_ to have months of detention?”

“No.” Theta scoffed. “It’s not like we’re going to get caught. In my humble opinion, there’s not a chance of anyone finding Ginger. Well, except for our friends, but I guess we’ll just have to let them in on the secret if they see her.”

“They’re not going to, because that cat is not staying here.”

“Oh, come on, Kos. Please?”

“No. Oh, no, no, no. I am _not_ falling for this again.”

Theta placed Ginger down on the bed beside him, then looked back up at Koschei, his eyes wide. He sniffed and took in a shaky breath before speaking. “Please, Kos? I love her so much. I promise to feed her and take care of her and I’ll do everything I have to if you will just please, please let me keep her. She won’t go anywhere near you, and if someone finds out about her then I’ll tell them that you didn’t know that she was here. Promise!”

“I’m not going to fall for it. I’m not going to fall for it,” said Koschei, as he covered his eyes with one hand. He peeked out from behind his hand after a second, then sighed and dropped it back down to his side. “Dammit, Theta! Stop with the eyes. I know that you’re not really crying.”

“I—I am. I really am. Normally I am faking, but today I just can’t help it.”

“You say that every time!”

“Oh, do I?” asked Theta, the sadness momentarily dropping off his face. He thought he only saved that bit of the facade for important occasions, but it seemed that Koschei was more than a little bit familiar with that part of his trick.

“Aha!” Koschei cried, jabbing a finger in Theta’s direction. “You are _so_ faking. You were confused by me revealing your lies that you forgot to keep up the charade. Now go get rid of the cat.”

Theta sniffed and lowered his eyes. “I wasn’t faking. I was just surprised when you accused me of having done that for all these years. I didn’t know that you were so mean.”

“Get rid of the cat.”

“Fine.” He reached over and lifted Ginger off his deep blue blanket, who quickly made herself comfortable in his arms. “Let’s go, Ginger.”

He carried her out of the room quickly, attempting to formulate a plan as he moved, and glancing over his shoulders to confirm that there was no one coming. No matter how much Koschei wanted to get rid of his new kitten, Theta was determined to not lose her so soon. He was going to fight back—even if it meant having to come up with a plan in the span of six seconds.

//

“Almost there,” Ushas muttered, carefully tipping her beaker. She had been working on her experiment for nearly a month at that point, and it had cost her several nights of sleep and far too many hours of research. She was so thrilled to see the success of her project that she could barely keep herself from pouring the beaker faster. “Just a few more drops… aha! What the—?!”

As soon as the last drop of liquid slipped into the jar, the entire concoction exploded. It wasn’t an enormous explosion—Ushas had most certainly seen worse in her time—but it was enough to burn her bangs and she was quite angry about that. She had double- and triple-checked her formula. Once she had even checked it a fourth time! There was not a single chance in hell of the experiment going wrong. That is, unless someone had tampered with it.

Ushas slammed her fist down onto the science lab table as she came to the conclusion of what she thought must have happened. Someone had messed with her experiment. Why they did it or who was behind it she didn’t know, but she was certain that someone had done something. There was no way that she had miscalculated, which meant that the experiment wasn’t her fault. More than likely, it was the fault of one of her friends, who thought that it would be a funny prank to mess with her.

She took a deep breath as she wiped the soot off her face. She was going to find out who had ruined her project, and they were going to have hell to pay once she did.

//

Theta knocked on the door a few times before entering, despite not waiting for an invitation to come into the room. He poked his head in first, walking through the doorway only when he saw that Millennia was alone, lying down on her bed with a book in her hands. He smiled at her, an expression that she briefly returned before shooting him an odd look.

“What’s up with your stomach?” she asked, peering down at his red jacket.

He looked down at his stomach instinctively before it occurred to him that he already knew what was up with it. “Oh, nothing,” he said, as if the moving bulge in his jacket was normal. “It’s just a cat.” He unzipped his jacket and held out Ginger for Millennia to see.

She ran over and pat the kitten on the head. “Oh, she’s so cute!” she squealed, as she stroked the kitten’s fluffy fur. She suddenly turned her attention back to Theta, her brow furrowed slightly. “Where did you get a cat?”

He shrugged. “I found her on the grounds. Anyway, do you want to keep her?”

“What?”

‘I mean, not forever,” he added quickly. “Just until I can sneak her back into my room.”

“Oh.” She nodded. “All right then.”

“Thanks, Millennia!”

Theta didn’t wait long after handing over the kitten to bolt out of the room. He didn’t have anywhere he really needed to be, but he figured that it would be best to get away before she decided to change her mind.

//

Vansell stopped working as soon as he heard the door open. He stared straight ahead at the wall in front of his desk, knowing that he wouldn’t be able to get any more work done even though he only had a few questions left on his sheet. He took a deep breath in when he heard Rallon’s voice, then let out a sharp breath when a second voice spoke.

“See? He’s not angry.” Rallon’s voice was obnoxiously friendly and it annoyed Vansell to his very core. “If he was mad then he’d have yelled at us by now.”

“It’s not that I’m not yelling at you because I’m not mad,” said Vansell, spinning around in his chair, “I’m not yelling at you because I am so pissed off that I haven’t decided how to react yet.”

“Calm down, Van. It’s just Mortimus. You’ve never hated him this much before.”

Mortimus nodded. “Yeah. Your hating me levels have gone up about a hundred percent and it’s a bit frightening to say the least.”

“Just get the hell out, Mort.”

“No.” He crossed his arms. “I’m staying with Rallon.”

“Yeah,” Rallon agreed. He seemed to be attempting to act assertive, but it didn’t come off that well. “I’m allowed to have friends over.”

“Fine. Just stay out of my stuff.”

Mortimus beamed. “Not a problem!” He headed over to Rallon’s desk on the right side of the room and opened a drawer, proceeding to rummage through it until he found whatever it was that he was looking for. Vansell decided that he was done paying attention as soon as he turned around to reveal that it was a giant black marker. However, he nearly dropped his book out of surprise when he heard Rallon shriek.

“What are you doing?! Stop it, Mortimus! Stop!”

“No, Rallon, it’s a good idea. Look, see? It’s a good idea.”

Vansell spun his chair around to see what they were doing, and promptly froze, his eyes locked on the floor. “What the hell, Mortimus?! What have you done?!”

He took a second to click the cap back onto the marker before he answered. “Nothing,” said Mortimus. “I just drew a line so that you can’t be mad about me being in here anymore.” He gestured to the thick black line that he had drawn on their floor, which went all the way from one end of the room to the other, effectively dividing it in half. “I’m not in your room right now. I’m in Rallon’s room.”

“Oh, my god, Mort. Draw a line there, it’s still one fucking room.”

“Is not.”

“For once,” Rallon began, his voice trembling, “I agree with Vansell. This is definitely still one room. One room with a gigantic black line running down the middle of it.”

Vansell nodded. “Finally, you agree with me.” He shot Mortimus a look. “Get out.”

“What? No.” Mortimus looked to Rallon, then back to Vansell. “Just because Rallon agrees with you doesn’t mean that he wants me to leave.”

“Of course he wants you to leave.”

Rallon shook his head, his dark brown hair flapping slightly. “No, I don’t.”

Vansell slammed his notebook shut and rose from his seat. “I’m going to go take a walk. You idiots better find a way to get rid of that line before I get back.”

He didn’t wait for even a breath in response before exiting the room briskly. He no longer had the energy to argue with Rallon day and night. He needed a way to get Mortimus out of there and he knew that there was only one person who could really help him out with it.

//

Ushas did not bother knocking before entering the room. She was almost completely certain that she knew who her culprit was, and she was not going to wait any longer than absolutely necessary to catch them. Besides, the boy in question almost never locked his door anyway.

“Drax, what the hell did you do?”

Drax whipped off his purple headphones and turned to her, his deep green eyes clearly confused. “What? Excuse me? Is there context to this? I haven’t even done anything. Honest.”

“Liar. You ruined my science experiment!”

He made a face. “All right, I may have done that once or twice, but not recently. At least, not intentionally.”

Ushas rolled her eyes. Despite his denial, she still thought that it was very possible that he was the one who sabotaged her and if she was right about it then he was never going to get away with it. “Intentionally or not, you’ve done it. Don’t try to cover it up now. It’s clear as day.” She narrowed her eyes and gestured down towards his hands. “Look. Your hands are shaking. Clear sign of a liar.”

“No.” Drax crossed his arms, effectively hiding his hands. “Clear sign of something, but not a liar. You need to fact check yourself before you start yelling at me. Now seriously, Ushas, I didn’t do anything to your stupid science shit, so get out.”

She didn’t respond right away. He seemed genuine, but he was known to be an accomplice almost as often as he was a mastermind. “Okay, I believe you, but do you know anything about it at all?”

“I don’t.” His patience seemed to be all but gone. “I really don’t.”

“Nothing? No one has said anything to you? You didn’t help plan anything at all?”

“My God, you’re persistent. I really, really didn’t do anything. Now get out. I have stuff to do.”

“Fine,” she said, as she turned around. She glanced back over her shoulder when she reached the door. “Text me if you find out anything about this.”

“Will do,” said Drax, sounding as if he couldn’t possibly care any less about the situation.

She exited the room, closing the door slightly harsher than she had intended to. Sometimes Drax could be the biggest pain in the world, but it was good to be able to rule out someone on her suspect list. She sighed and took off down the hall as she attempted to think of who else she should question about the disaster.

It didn’t take long for an answer to come to her, and she picked up her pace, determined to find out what had happened to her work.

//

“I have returned for my cat,” Theta declared, as he stepped back into Millennia’s room around an hour later.

Millennia glanced up at him from behind her laptop. “Okay,” she said. She pointed to her purple desk chair, which had a blanket and a cat atop it. “She’s over there. Hey, by the way, does she have a name?”

“Yeah. Ginger.”

“Fitting.”

“Mm hm.” He smiled. “Anyway, I need her back now. Kos is gone for the evening so I’m going to sneak her back into our room now.”

She shrugged. “Okay. Have fun with that.”

“Thanks, I will.”

With that, Theta scooped Ginger up into his arms and headed out of the room.

//

“Hey, Vansell.” Jelpax didn’t look up when Vansell sat down beside him on the cold steps outside of the Academy. “Don’t ask me about the tournament again. I already said no.”

Vansell rolled his eyes. “Hi, Jel, and it’s not about that. Have you seen Drax?”

“Yeah. I just talked to him a little while ago.” He pushed his glasses up his nose before pulling his phone out of his back pocket. He turned it on and typed something on the screen, then waited a minute before turning his attention back to Vansell. “He’s not answering, so he’s probably still doing homework. I wouldn’t bother him; he really needs this time. If it’s urgent then I can talk to him at the next twenty-minute interval.”

“What?”

“Nothing.” He waved a hand in the air to dismiss the question. “Anyway, is it urgent or can it wait?”

“It’s pretty urgent, but I guess that I can talk to someone else.” He tilted his head to the side, examining the expression on Jelpax’s face. It was completely unconcerned and unbiased—exactly what he needed to come up with a plan. He wasn’t quite as good as Drax would have been, but Jelpax spent enough time around his roommate that at least some of Drax’s scheming skills must have rubbed off onto him, right?

“Okay. Then can you stop bugging me now? I’ve got stuff to do as well.”

“Right.” Vansell nodded sarcastically. “That’s why you’re sitting on the outside steps with nothing but your phone and a book about, uh, whatever that is. I know it’s not a textbook, though.”

“Of course not, because we use the same textbooks.” He rolled his dark brown eyes. “I could tell you what it was about, but I’m sure that you don’t care. You want to ask me about whatever you were intending to ask Drax about, right?”

“Holy shit. How did you know that?”

“It’s obvious,” Jelpax deadpanned. “You would have left already if you didn’t want to ask me. I know that I’m not your second choice, and probably not even third, but I’m not as clueless as you think I am. Fill me in.”

Vansell did just that. He spent the next several minutes telling Jelpax all about what had happened with Mortimus, from his informal invitation to the black line that he had drawn on the floor. Jelpax rarely spoke as he explained, only nodding and occasionally asking for clarification on something. When Vansell finally finished, Jelpax was silent, and he waited a moment before pressuring him to speak.

“Were you going to say something, or did you just want to hear me ramble?” he asked.

“Oh, no, I was just pondering the situation,” said Jelpax. “Honestly, it seems like your problem isn’t even with Mortimus, it’s with Rallon.”

“In all due respect, I’m pretty sure that it’s both of them.”

“No, it’s just Rallon.”

“No, it’s both of them.”

Jelpax gave him a cold stare. “Would you just listen to me before arguing? We’re going to get nowhere if you’re doing this before I’ve even started.”

“All right, fine. Tell me what you’re thinking.”

“The only way to get rid of Mortimus is to get Rallon onto your side. You’re not fighting both of them, you’re only fighting Mortimus. He’s the intruder, so you want to ally yourself with Rallon. That way Mortimus will have no one letting him stay in the room and he’ll have to find somewhere else to go.”

“Okay.” Vansell nodded. “As much sense as that makes, I have no way to get Rallon onto my side. He’s completely against me. Like, completely entirely against me. Honestly, I’m not even sure that he cares what we’re fighting about, he just wants to disagree with me because we don’t get along.” He held up a hand to preemptively silence Jelpax. “And before you argue me on that point, I must remind you of the marker incident.”

“Yeah, I get it. That’s why you don’t negotiate to get him onto your side, you scare the hell out of him so that he has no other choice.” Vansell opened his mouth to speak but before he could say a word, Jelpax held up a finger to stop him. “Make him really think about what Mortimus tried to do with the flamethrower and what he did do with the marker. Make him realize what Mortimus could do with the Frisbee and the soda. Scare him.”

“That makes sense.” He made a face. “Just one question.”

“Yeah?”

“What the hell could Mortimus do with a Frisbee and soda?”

“Easy. He could shake up the soda and spray it all over like champagne. I’ve seen him do it before. As for the Frisbee, well, he could throw it and break something, or he could, you know…”

“No, I don’t.”

Jelpax took a breath and glanced over his shoulder before leaning in closer to his friend’s ear. He whispered what he was thinking, and Vansell pulled away as soon as he was finished, his mouth agape in horror. “Why the hell would he do that?! I mean, I see that he could, but why? That’s just wrong.”

“I know,” said Jelpax, “but it seems like something that Mortimus would do, doesn’t it?”

Vansell nodded. “Yeah, you know, I guess so. It’s still totally wrong, though.”

“Yeah, no, I agree, but he would totally do it.”

“There’s no way that I’m repeating that to Rallon, though. God.” He shuddered.

“You want me to do it?” Jelpax offered.

He shook his head. “No. I really hate Rallon and I totally want to plague his mind with that, but I can’t put myself through the torture of him waking up with nightmares of that every night. Good idea, though. It would definitely scare him. Maybe just too much for right now.”

“Save it for later, though.”

“We’ll see.” While Vansell did agree that it could come in handy later, he was reluctant to try and remember it if he had the option to forget that anything had ever been said. “Anyway, if you’re out of brilliant ideas, I’ve got to go use the one you’ve given me.”

“All right.” He glanced down at his watch. “Actually, I’ve got to go as well. I’ll see you at the meeting tomorrow?”

Vansell nodded. “Yeah. See you, Jel.”

He stood up and headed back up the steps, more than ready to set Rallon straight and get rid of Mortimus once and for all. Or at least, for the day. Because unfortunately, no matter how hard he tried, there was no way to get rid of him forever.

//

Theta dangled the yellow string in front of Ginger, smiling to himself when she jumped up and pawed at it. He had tried to come up with a sensible reason, but he really didn’t understand why Koschei didn’t like her. She was probably the cutest animal he had ever seen in his life, and he couldn’t think of an excuse for anyone to not like her.

He placed the string onto the floor and dragged it around, prompting Ginger to chase it. She was really adorable when she did that, even if playing with a string seemed like the most boring activity in the world to him. He didn’t mind playing with her, even though his wrist was starting to hurt and he was getting so bored that he wanted to do homework. She was having fun and making her happy made him happy.

The door suddenly swung open while he was placing the string down on his bed and Koschei walked into the room, looking more than slightly annoyed. Luckily, he was bothered enough that he didn’t look at Theta right when he entered the room, but the spot on the floor where he proceeded to drop his backpack. Theta quickly hid Ginger under his blanket before Koschei had a chance to see her.

“Hey, Kos,” he said casually, attempting to keep Ginger still. “What’s up?”

“Nothing.” Koschei sighed as he flopped down onto his bed and buried his face into his dark red pillows. Theta peeked under the blanket while he was covering his eyes and slid the string over to Ginger. Hopefully it would keep her calm long enough for Koschei to fall asleep.

Unfortunately for Theta, it was a mere seconds after he gave her the string that Koschei sat back up and turned to him. “Ugh, don’t you just hate Borusa sometimes?”

Theta spared no thought to their shared tutor. “Yeah, duh. He’s like, the worst.”

“That’s it?” Koschei raised an eyebrow, turning his head slightly to the side. “That’s the first time you’ve passed up an opportunity to rag on Borusa.”

“I guess that I’m just too tired to come up with anything right now.” He feigned a yawn. “I think I’m going to go to sleep. See you in the morning, Kos.” Theta ducked his head under the blanket, hoping that his behavior wasn’t too abnormal. Koschei didn’t say anything, so he figured that he was in the clear.

Until about a minute later, when Ginger suddenly meowed and blew the whole operation.

“Theta?” said Koschei, his voice sharp. “What was that?”

“Uh, me. I was just yawning again.” He made a sound similar to the cat’s meow, which ended up sounding more like a dying rovie. “Jeez, I’m just so tired that I could sleep for a week.”

“I know that it was the cat, you idiot.”

Theta pulled the blanket off of himself, revealing the small kitten in his lap. “Sorry,” he said quietly. He wasn’t sure what else to say. Although he really wanted it to work, he knew that his plan was never going to effectively pan out. Koschei was way too smart to not detect the kitten.

“I thought that I told you to get rid of that thing,” Koschei said flatly, his eyes locked on Theta.

“Hey, I said sorry. What more do you want?”

“Uh, I would like the cat gone. You’re going to get us both murdered if you keep her here.”

Theta frowned. “I told you, Kos. Ginger is not going to murder you.”

“Not her, the Headmaster! I was trying to tell you how much trouble you’re going to get us both into. I know that the cat isn’t going to murder us.” Though his voice was steady, Theta could see his pupils dilate as he looked down towards the cat’s claws. “Just get rid of it, okay?”

“ _It_ is a _she_ and no. I’m not going to get rid of her. I love her and I want to take care of her. You don’t have to do anything and if the Headmaster or anyone else finds out then I’ll take the blame. I’ll tell them you didn’t know that she was here. Please?”

There was an unbearably long silence between them while Koschei considered the situation. Theta hoped that his friend would reveal his soft side. He really wanted to keep Ginger, and if there was anyone to convince him to let him do it then he was going to find it. Besides, he thought that he plead his case quite well. What did it matter if there was no chance of Koschei getting into trouble?

“Oh, god, I’m going to regret this.” Koschei shook his head and took a deep breath before speaking. “You can keep the cat.”

Theta’s entire face lit up. “Really? Thank you, thank you, thank you!” He placed Ginger down on the bed, then leapt onto Koschei’s bed and toppled him with a hug.

“Agh!” Koschei choked out. “Hug too tight! I’m being strangled! Can’t breathe!”

Theta backed up and gave him a look. “Sorry. Thanks for letting me keep the cat, though.” He jumped back onto his bed and picked up Ginger, giving her a hug instead. “You are so cute!” he beamed.

Koschei sighed as he watched his friend, already regretting his decision. Hopefully he wouldn’t be obsessed with Ginger forever. It would be ridiculously pathetic for him to be replaced by a cat.

//

“Well, you look remarkably annoyed.”

Ushas nodded as she closed the door behind her. She wasn’t surprised that Millennia was in their dorm room so early—she had never been one for procrastinating and was probably the most likely to finish assignments right away. Of course, she only beat out Ushas because she often put off homework in favor of her personal experiments.

“Someone’s tampered with my experiment,” she said, sighing as she sat down at her desk.

“Yeah?” Millennia placed her pencil behind her ear and raised an eyebrow. “Not the one that you’ve been working on for a month, right?”

“The very same.” She shook her head and flipped through a notebook. “Now I have to start all over again. And the worst part is that I don’t even know who ruined my experiment so I can’t do anything about it. I went around asking everyone, but no one knew anything about it. Supposedly, that is, but you know that most of them are just horrible liars.”

“True.” There was a moment of silence before she spoke again. “Are you sure that you’ve asked everyone?”

“Yes. Well, I didn’t ask the ones that definitely didn’t do it, but I did ask all of the others. I’m not an idiot.”

“Of course not.”

“Anyway,” said Ushas, spinning around in her chair, “what’s up with you?”

Millennia shrugged. “Nothing much,” she answered, running a hand through her bright blue hair to straighten it out. “I’ve basically been on my own all day. No one seems to be answering their phones and I’m not sure why. I guess I’ll find out at the meeting tomorrow, though, so it’s not a big deal. It’s just weird that Rallon hasn’t texted me back yet.”

“Rallon?” Ushas smirked. “Why? You wanting to go on a date tonight?”

She had never seen Millennia turn so red. “No. I just wanted to spend some time with him. He’s really fun, you know.”

“What?” She snorted. “If I was looking for someone fun to hang out with then I would probably go talk to Magnus before I even considered Rallon. No offense to your boyfriend, but he’s unbelievably dull.”

“That’s not true, and he’s not my boyfriend.”

“Although you seem like you appreciate the idea.” She turned back around when Millennia didn’t answer. “I thought so,” she said, before turning her attention to her research notes.

//

“Rallon, come here. I need to talk to you.”

“Okay,” said Rallon, stretching out the first syllable. He placed his pencil down and walked over to where Vansell was standing, then followed him out of the room.

“Close the door.”

“Why?”

“So that Mortimus can’t hear us, you dolt.”

“All right.” Rallon pulled the dark door shut. “If you’re still trying to get me to make Mortimus leave, the answer hasn’t changed. I’m kind of enjoying having a friend around, honestly.”

Vansell nodded. “I know. I’m not trying to make him leave anymore. I just want to make sure that you know the dangers of keeping him here.”

“Dangers?” He made a face.

“Yeah. You know the flamethrower and the marker? That’s barely brushing the surface of what we could have to go through with him here.”

“Seriously?” He scoffed. “I don’t really believe you. Mortimus isn’t nearly as bad as you’re making him out to be. I mean, sure, he can be a bit of a nut-case, but he’s not totally reckless.”

“Yes, he is. Now listen to me. If we let him stay here, then our room is going to become a disaster zone. Remember two years ago when I lost my phone and we went into his room searching for it? It hasn’t gotten any better in there. Picture it twice as bad and you’ll be seeing less than half of what it is now. That’s what he’s going to do to our room if you let him stay here.”

“It’s not like it’s permanent, though. I’m really not worried.”

“You think it’s not permanent.” Vansell was running out of lines and was basically winging it at that point, but he felt like he was doing a decent job of it. “I think you’re missing the obvious, Rallon. Mortimus will do what he always does. He’ll change the plan at the last second. One day you’ll think he’s packing up to leave, and then suddenly he’ll weave together some sap story about Magnus bullying him and talk you into letting him stay longer. That time he won’t set a length for how long he wants to stay, and he’ll end up being here until we graduate.”

Rallon seemed torn. The expression on his face was obviously concerned, and Vansell was glad that he was getting through to him. He shook a hand through his hair nervously. “Now that you say that, I think that might already be happening. He did tell me something about Magnus earlier and I don’t think that he did ever say how long he wanted to stay for.” He blinked nervously. “I’m sure that it’s just a coincidence, though. Everyone complains about Magnus and he probably just forgot to tell me how long he needed to stay for.”

“Bull. If you went in there right now and asked him how long he wanted to stay for, he wouldn’t know the answer. Actually, if you went in there right now, he’s probably throwing his Frisbee through the window or staining the floor with soda.” As if on cue, the sound of a loud crash came ringing from the inside of their room. Vansell prayed that the broken object didn’t belong to him. “See?”

“Okay, okay, all right. Maybe we should get rid of him. I still think that we should hear him out first, though.”

“You won’t once we find out what it is that he just broke,” he said, realization slapping him in the face.

“How do you know? We don’t even know what it is yet. It could be yours.”

Vansell smirked. “Because he’s staying on your side of the room, remember? And he seemed very stuck on that idea. I’ll bet he’s trying hard to keep the Frisbee within boundaries, which means the broken object belongs to…” He pointed to Rallon.

“I hate that you’re right.” Rallon ran a hand down his face. “Okay, fine. Let’s go in there and see what he broke. If it’s something really important then we’ll make him go. Otherwise he can stay, as long as he finishes scrubbing away the marker line.”

They headed back into the room, both of them stopping a few feet away from the door once they were in. Mortimus, who was sitting on Rallon’s desk chair, was clutching something in his hand, which he quickly hid when he saw that his friends had returned. He spun around in his chair, keeping the object hidden behind his back.

“Oh, hey, guys,” he said. “What’s going on? Nothing? Okay. You want to go get dinner? Let’s go get dinner. I’ll meet you guys there. I just have to grab some glue—I mean my shoes!”

“Give it up, Mort.” Vansell sighed. “We heard the crash. It wasn’t quiet.”

“All right, fine.” He held up an open hand, which was full of shards of an unknown material. “So, my Frisbee might have accidentally collided with Rallon’s computer. It’s not that bad, though. Just a little bit shattered, if you really squint.”

Vansell turned to look at Rallon, a smug smile creeping up his cheeks. Rallon glared at him before he stormed over to Mortimus, his face flushed red with anger. “Get out,” he said, pointing back towards the door. “Get out right now.”

“What? What?” asked Mortimus, furrowing his brow. “I can buy you a new computer.”

“Yeah, you better had. Now get out. Clearly, we can’t trust you to behave yourself long enough to stay here. All you ever do is ruin things.”

He took a moment to consider that before he spoke. “Yeah, true.” He sighed, dropping the shards in his hand as he stood up from the chair. “Whoops, I think I cut myself a bit. Oh well, I’ve got some bandages in my room.” Mortimus picked up his bag and walked over to the door, stopping once his hand was placed on the handle. “Are you sure that I can’t stay?”

“Yes.” Vansell had no patience left to deal with him. “Go.”

And so, with only one more second of hesitation, Mortimus finally left.

//

“…I have been searching all day, and everyone I ask claims to know nothing about it. Look, I know that one of you idiots did it, so if it was you, I suggest you confess right now before I get really mad.” She sighed, placing one hand onto her hip when a hand went up into the air. They only had so much time left for their weekly meeting, and she was not about to let someone else waste all of it when she still had so much more to say. “What, Drax?”

“Are you not already really mad?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. “You seemed totally miffed when you were accusing me earlier.”

“That’s true. However, this isn’t the maddest that I can be, and I guarantee you that I’ve been far angrier. If you don’t want to see what that side of me is like, then tell me who did it. Now.”

“It was me.”

Ushas froze as soon as she heard Magnus speak. Of all the members of the Deca, Magnus was the last person that she had suspected, as the sabotage seemed to be far too petty for his taste. In fact, she had marked him as one of the members that she wouldn’t even bother to question because she was so certain that he had nothing to do with it.

“You?” she gaped, her jaw dropping. “You did this to me? You ruined my science experiment?”

“Yes.” Magnus nodded. He crossed his arms and leaned back in his seat. “Yes, and yes.” Judging by the flat tone of his voice, he was already bored of their conversation.

“Why? Why would you do that?”

He shrugged. “You’ve been really annoying recently. I thought I would do something to make you mad. Nothing personal—I would have done it to anyone who pissed me off.”

“What did I do to you?” she asked, a look of bewilderment crossing her face for only a moment before she regained her stiff composure. “What have I ever done to you?”

“Same stuff that you’re always doing. It wasn’t directed at me, per se, you just kept doing obnoxious shit and it was really starting to get on my nerves.”

Ushas was practically fuming by the time he finished talking, and though she normally had the best poker face, not even she could hide it. “I’m going to get you back for this, Magnus. I don’t know when, and I don’t know how, but it’s going to happen.”

Magnus shrugged. “All right.”

Just as Ushas was about to open her mouth to speak again, she noticed a hand in the air and pointed to the person beneath it. “What do you want, Mortimus?”

“Can you please make sure that whatever revenge you decide to pull, it’s exclusively on him, and not our room or something with collateral damage? ‘Cause I’m apparently stuck living with him and I would prefer that my stuff doesn’t get ruined.”

“Yeah, whatever.” She rolled her eyes. “Just don’t interrupt me again or I’m going to go after you too.”

He made a face. “Okay, but just to be clear, I didn’t interrupt you. You called on me.”

“All right, I’m going to get you.”

Mortimus hung his head in regret, clearly aware of the mistake he had made. Ushas ignored him and looked around the room, her eyes landing on no one in particular.

“Anyway,” she said, “anyone have anything else to add to the conversation before we call the meeting?”

“Can I say ‘I told you so’?” asked Drax, a faint smirk tugging on the edges of his lips.

“No.” She turned away from him. “Anyone have anything _intelligent_ to add?”

Surprisingly, for the first time in ages, Ushas did not get a response.

//

Vansell walked along the path outside of the Academy, his eyes fixed on his phone. He had been hanging out in his friends’ group chat for quite a bit at that point, though he was watching the conversation far more than he was participating in it. He smirked when Theta made a funny comment and moved his thumb to respond. He froze before he was able to do so, as a hand was placed on his shoulder. He whipped around to see who was there and stared down the tall intimidating man who had approached him.

“Hello, Vansellostophossius,” he said, placing his hands behind his back. “I gather you’ve received our message?”

“Yes.” He took a deep breath before continuing, making sure to choose his words carefully. “You’re with the CIA, correct?”

“Of course. No need to act suspicious.” Vansell couldn’t help but feel as if the man was talking down to him, as if he was little more than a time tot. “We aren’t recruiting you for anything immoral, just a simple surveillance organization.”

“The Celestial Intervention Agency is not a simple organization. You people terrorize time and space for a career.”

“That is where you’re wrong, child,” the man said coolly. “We save time and space from people who want to terrorize it.”

Vansell ignored him. “What do you even want me for? I don’t understand why you need me. People apply to join the CIA every single day. Can’t you take one of them? Even the stupid ones are more experienced than I am.”

“It’s not about experience in this case, child. This is about who you’re friends with.”

“Don’t you dare involve my friends in this. The only way I will even consider your offer is if you swear that you will leave my friends out of this. This is between me and the CIA. They don’t need to be anywhere in this.”

A sinister grin appeared on the man’s face for a split second before disappearing. “I’m afraid that’s not possible, Vansell. In this case, you have a friend who is the reason we wish to recruit you. If it was about something else, then we could easily take one of the thousands that apply for the CIA. However, we are looking for someone to go undercover, and you are the person we need.”

“For what?” The more he thought about it, the less Vansell wanted to be a part of it, and it was in his better judgment to simply walk away and act as if nothing had happened. However, curiosity got the better of him. He needed to know what they were intending to do, and if he wasn’t the one to do it then they would find someone else. He couldn’t let that happen. Not when his friends were involved.

The man reached into the brown bag slung across his shoulder and pulled out a folder, which he handed to Vansell. He didn’t open it right away. “Read this. It will explain everything.”

Vansell opened the folder, attempting to ignore the man staring over his shoulder as he did so. He scanned over the contents, trying to grasp the basics of the task without having to waste time. Several moments and pages later, he took a deep breath. It was exactly what he had been afraid of.

“I’ll do it,” he said. “Just know that I’m still holding you to what I said before. You will not involve any of my other friends in this, under any circumstances.”

“Deal.”

“And, if you want me to do this at all, or continue to do it, then you will stay out of it. You let me do what I need to do and don’t demand updates. I’ll tell you what I’m doing when I have information available.”

There was a short silence between them before the man nodded and held out his hand wordlessly. Vansell shook it.

“Welcome to the CIA.”


	6. Blackout

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Academy loses power. Magnus is trapped with Epsilon. Jelpax and Drax try to fix the power.

“Ha ha, very funny,” said Ushas, shaking her head, “but I’m in charge and you know it, so don’t try to mess with me. Got it?”

Magnus shrugged. “Sure. Although, I should tell you,” he began, as he walked back to his seat, “that you don’t really have what it takes to be the leader.”

She glared at him. “Please. As if you could do it any better than me.”

“I have.”

“That was one time?”

“Yeah, give or take ten times. But you know what? Get up there. Talk. Say something smart and surprise me.”

For the first time that morning, Ushas was fuming. She took a deep breath, then tapped her notes against the table and started to speak. Despite Magnus’s high standards, she was positive that the speech she had prepared for their meeting would blow him away.

“So, I’ve been thinking,” she started, a professional smile on her face, “we really need to start talking to each other more. I understand that there are ten of us that regularly hang out and get together, but we don’t really _talk_ , if you know what I mean.” She waited for the nonexistent murmurs of agreement before continuing. “Even now, if you look around, everyone is sitting in their small groups. Theta and Koschei are sitting in the front, close to me, Magnus is is inching away from Mortimus, and Drax and Jelpax are whispering in the back corner as if I can’t hear them.”

She watched the pair for a moment as Drax slid lower in his seat. He hated being called on and she knew it. “So, I want to propose that we spend a day with some of our friends that we don’t hang out with as much.”

Magnus chuckled. “Because you’re suddenly so social?”

“Duh.” Ushas rolled her eyes. “That’s why I’m the leader of the Deca.”

“Leader?” Drax snorted. “You’ve got to be kidding me. We’re a clique, not a club.”

“Whatever. I’m still always the one talking at our meetings.”

Jelpax cocked his head to the side and ran a hand through his curly red hair, as he often did when he was thinking. “Why do we even have meetings? We never do anything except yell at each other, really.”

“Because we need to get together often, or we’ll break apart. Were you not listening to my speech?”

Mortimus raised his hand, but he didn’t wait to be called on. “I was listening, but I don’t think you—I mean, I _know_ that you never said that.”

Ushas made a face. “Then what did I say?”

“You said—”

He cut himself off when the lights began to flicker. They clicked on and off several times before shutting off completely, leaving the Deca in a room filled with complete darkness. Everyone was entirely still for a moment, save for one little scream.

“Shut up, Mortimus.”

“But there’s a—!”

“There’s no spider on your face. Shut up.”

“Fine.”

Ushas groaned. She was _not_ in the mood for a blackout. It had been storming all day, so it wasn’t a shock, but she still had been hoping that if they were to lose power, it would happen while they were sleeping. That would have been far more convenient for her.

“Okay, everyone, stay calm,” she said. “And Mortimus and Magnus, shut up. Both of you. No one wants to hear your ignorant arguing right now.” She could practically feel them both rolling their eyes. “The meeting is over until there is light in the building again. Everyone out.”

The other nine members of the Deca all stood up and once and made their way towards the door. Ushas was the first one out of the room, and she went straight back to her dorm room. It wasn’t ten minutes later that she was lying face down on a pillow, screaming her lungs out.

//

Meanwhile, Magnus was the last one to leave the room, and it was not by choice. He was stopped on his way out of the science lab by none other than his least favorite person at the Academy.

“What do you want, Epsilon?”

Even in the dark, Magnus knew that Epsilon was wearing his trademark stupid smirk. “I need your help with something,” he answered, his voice slightly more serious than normal.

“What?” He was almost glad that Epsilon couldn’t see the confused expression on his face. “What could you possibly need _my_ help with?”

“Well…” His voice trailed off. “It’s a bit private. Hold on.”

Epsilon turned around and Magnus cried out instantly, but it was too late. “No! Don’t close the door!”

“Why not?” he asked, as he finished clicking it into place. “I just don’t want anyone else to hear. Do you want my secrets being told to the entire school?”

“I don’t care. But thanks for locking us in the goddamn science lab!”

Epsilon furrowed his brow. “What do you mean? I can open the door whenever I want. Watch.” He pulled on the doors handle to slide it open, but it didn’t budge. “Uh oh.”

“That’s the underreaction of the year,” Magnus mumbled.

“Well, if we’re going to stuck in here, I think we need some ground rules.” He took a moment to think of them. “One: no excessive swearing,” he went on. “You know that it bothers me when…”

Magnus groaned and sat down at one of the tables. All he could do was hope and pray that the power came back fast.

//

“Ow, ow, ow! Oh, my god! Ow!”

“Rallon, oh, my god!” Millennia ran over to the source of the sounds and grabbed his shoulders to steady him. “What happened?” she asked.

“I ran into the pole,” he mumbled, dropping his head into his hands. He blinked several times, attempting to clear the spots from his vision.

“It’s not a pole, it’s a pillar.”

“Same thing.” He took a deep breath. “All I know is that that hurt _really_ bad. Wow.”

“Are you okay?” asked Millennia. She put her hands on either side of his head, and suddenly he was glad that it was so dark. He didn’t want her to see him blushing. “You seem really dizzy.”

Rallon began to nod, then stopped abruptly and winced. “Yeah, I am pretty dizzy, but I think I’m okay.”

“Can you see well?”

“If it wasn’t pitch black then yeah, I probably could.” As soon as he spoke, a bright light pointed straight at his eyes. He squinted instinctively as his eyes adjusted to the sudden light. “What’s that?” he asked, surprised by the seemingly magically appearing light.

“Uh, my phone?” Millennia giggled.

“Oh, right.”

“I mean, you have a phone, right?” she said awkwardly, looking down at her feet. She lowered the light as well, and Rallon blinked the afterimages away.

“Yeah.” Rallon nodded and grinned at her. He took one hand off of his head and used the other to rub the back of it. “You, uh, you have my number.”

“Oh, right.”

“That’s what I said.”

Millennia laughed. “Do you want to—”

“Yes.”

“I haven’t even finished!”

“Oh. Well, I just figured that it was going to be something fun for us to do, and I don’t think that I can be left alone in this dark anymore.” He pointed to the side of his head, and Millennia laughed again.

“Anyway,” she said, “I was going to suggest that we go back to my room and play a board game. I mean, since we don’t have power and all.”

“Sounds good to me.” Rallon nodded. Honestly, anything that involved spending time with Millennia sounded like a good idea to him, no matter what it was. “Let’s go.” He gestured down the black hall. “Ladies first.”

“Not when the men can’t see,” said Millennia, before grabbing Rallon’s hand and pulling him down the hall with her. Once more, Rallon was glad that it was too dark to see his face. He was also glad that Millennia had the flashlight on her phone illuminating the otherwise spooky halls, or else he was certain that he would have walked into something again.

//

“Theta. Theta. Theta. Theta. Theta!”

“Sorry, what?”

Koschei rolled his eyes. He had only had to say his best friend’s name about forty-seven times before he finally responded. At first, he had been wondering if Theta was sleepwalking, but then he remembered that Theta didn’t sleepwalk and neither had even gone to bed yet. However, even if he didn’t sleepwalk, Theta was known to daydream, and that was what Koschei figured had happened.

“Have you been listening to anything I said?” he asked.

“Um, not really.” _At least Theta’s honest_ , he thought. “I was a bit sleepy. For some reason every time it gets dark, I get tired. I don’t know why.”

Koschei laughed and shook his head. “You’re pretty weird, Thete.” Theta frowned, and Koschei put an arm around his shoulders, despite their difference in height. “That’s why I love ya.”

Theta smiled. “Good, because I don’t want to wander around in the dark alone.”

“Yeah, Theta, we all know that you’re scared of the dark.”

“I am not,” he argued, his face flushing pink. Koschei grinned and rustled his hair.

“Keep telling yourself that.”

“Fine, okay, maybe I’m afraid of the dark a little,” said Theta, “but it doesn’t matter. Besides, it’s not the dark that’s scary. It’s what’s _in_ the dark. What if you were just walking along and you ran into Lungin and got lost in his fat?”

Koschei snorted. “All right. You want to go see what Ushas is doing and mess it up?”

“Sure!”

Koschei removed his arm from around Theta’s shoulders and picked up his pace, hoping to make it to Ushas before she got too involved in whatever she was doing.

//

Drax paced back and forth across his dorm room, tapping his hands against each other nervously. He almost didn’t know what to do with his arms, running his hands through his hair one moment, then drumming his fingers on his legs the next. He blinked repeatedly, trying to clear his mind, but ended up doing nothing but impair his vision.

“Hey, Drax?” said Jelpax, making his voice clear in the quiet room. “Are you all right?” His roommate simply nodded, not saying a single word. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I’m sure,” Drax snapped. “I’m pretty sure that I know how I’m doing.”

“Okay, then. Why are you pacing though?”

Drax stopped moving as soon as he said that. “I’m not.”

“You were.”

“And now I’m not, so shut up.”

Jelpax did, but only for about a minute before he dropped his book onto his bed and spoke again. “You seem really tense. Like, worse than Rallon tense. And anxious, actually. What’s going on? You’re—”

“Stop it,” said Drax. He crossed his arms against his chest. “You don’t know what I am, so stop telling me what you think and mind your own business.”

“Okay.”

Jelpax went back to reading his book; one hand holding it, and the other hand pointing a flashlight at it. Six-and-a-half feet away from him, Drax flopped onto his bed, groaning loudly as he did so. He was clearly upset about something, but he also didn’t want to tell Jelpax what it was, so he didn’t push the situation. There was no point in punching unless you could win the fight. At least, that was what his father always said to him.

Despite his distance from his father, he had been living by those words for the last several years. Jelpax was one of the most reserved members of the Deca, and the ones that he spent the most time around tended to be the louder, more aggressive ones (e.g. Drax and Magnus).

Since he wasn’t planning on exchanging his friends anytime soon, he had to find a way to cope with it when they were out of line, and the way that he did that was by avoiding fights. Not that he would ever get into a physical fight (he was far too scrawny for that, he had to admit), but some people did say that he had a way with words.

“Oh, my god!” Drax cried. He sat up quickly, his head in his hands. “I can’t do this. I need electricity!”

“That’s what this is about? You need electricity?” Jelpax asked, raising an eyebrow. “Can’t you just read a book?”

“No. I’m an engineer. I live for things that run on power. Power that we don’t have. So, I think that we need to get it back.”

“How?”

“I have a plan.” He smirked when he spoke.

Jelpax rolled his eyes and placed his book down on the nightstand beside him. “Is it a good plan this time?”

“I have a plan,” Drax repeated.

“Oh, god.”

//

By the time that Rallon and Millennia got to her and Ushas’s room, Theta and Koschei were already there. None of them seemed to be doing anything particularly exciting, but Ushas appeared to be mad. Well, not _really_ mad—more than her normal level of mad—but mad enough. Recently Millennia had been wondering if she actually had the whole ‘resting bitch face’ thing that Drax had told her about.

“More people?” Ushas groaned. “Great. Just what I need right now.”

“We won’t be loud,” said Millennia cheerfully. “We just want to play a board game.”

Theta looked thrilled. He jumped off Ushas’s bed and ran over to Millennia and Rallon. “Cards,” he said. “Let’s play cards. You got a deck?”

“I’ve got one,” Ushas offered. She walked over to her desk and pulled out a deck of cards, then handed them to Theta. “Here. You can have them, but don’t expect me to play with you.”

“Don’t worry, I wasn’t. But I was expecting you to help us set up some candles.”

Though she clearly didn’t want to, Ushas helped them set up enough candles to illuminate a section of the floor. They all sat in a circle, including Ushas, ready to play. It wasn’t until Theta finished shuffling the cards that he realized that he had no idea what they were playing.

“How about _Scopa_?” Koschei asked. “It’s fun. I mean, it’ll probably be a pain with more than two people, since you have to do all the scores and stuff, but we could do teams of two to keep it simple.” He glanced over at Ushas out of the corner of his eye. “I mean, since Ushas isn’t playing anyway.”

They quickly went over the rules of the game (which Rallon was very confused about), then started to play. Millennia was thrilled when she saw that she had gotten the seven of hearts (they had no coin cards in the deck, so they just made sure that the seven of hearts was the only one in their deck), and she tried to keep it in her hand. However, when none of her cards matched any of the ones on the floor, she ended up having to toss it. Koschei picked it up quickly, and she was glad that she was a good sport, or she might have gotten upset.

Once they got to the end of the first round, Theta started to count the cards, but ended up losing track of the numbers and remembering the scores wrong, so Ushas took the four piles and counted for them. That was when Theta and Koschei declared her the official referee, which is when it came out that Rallon and Millennia were still in the lead by two points.

Theta and Koschei won the second round after grabbing the seven of hearts, and _scopa_. By the time they had finished every round, and Ushas was tallying the cards, both teams were huffing and puffing as if they were waiting to hear who had won _The Great Food Truck Race_. Ushas took her time announcing it, intentionally placing long pauses between her words.

“And the winner,” she began slowly, “of the blackout game of _scopa_ , is…”

Everyone sucked in their breath. Though each team know approximately how high their scores were, neither knew if they had ended with more or less than the other. Theta and Koschei had been behind by one point, which gave Rallon and Millennia an extra boost of confidence, but it was still anyone’s game. The final round had been hardcore.

“…Theta and Koschei,” she finished lamely. Of course, she wasn’t really as excited as she had pretended to be.

“ _Yes!_ ” Theta cried, leaping up to his feet. Koschei did the same and shot him a high-five. Millennia watched them for a moment, feeling happy for her friends, then turned to Rallon, who had a glum expression on his face.

“You know, Rallon,” she said, “it’s not all about winning. It’s about playing the game and having fun.”

“And bragging!” Theta added cheerfully.

Millennia laughed. “Sure.” She smiled at Rallon, then turned back to the winning duo. “Rematch,” she challenged.

“Oh, you’re so on,” said Koschei, as Theta nodded. Rallon’s smile came back, and she knew that she had made the right decision. They were going to win that time—there was no doubt about it.

//

“Drax, this isn’t a good idea. In fact, this is a terrible, horrible, really bad idea.”

“I never said that it was a _good_ idea, Pax. I just said that it was an idea.”

Jelpax sighed as he watched Drax pull on his dark blue sweater and matching sneakers. It was almost weird to him how adept Drax was at color-coordination, but at the same time, he sort of liked it. It satisfied his perfectionist needs. Drax pulled on a black hat next, then matching fingerless gloves and headed towards the door.

“Why don’t your gloves have fingers?” asked Jelpax, standing up to follow him.

“Because I might need my nails.” He shrugged. “You never know. I don’t want to have to open something small or undo a knot and have to take my gloves off. That would be a waste of valuable time.”

“Like this?”

“You didn’t even try to say that quietly.”

“Nope.”

Drax rolled his eyes, then swung the door open and headed out, Jelpax following close behind. “God, I wish that we could use a light,” he mumbled, shaking his head. “It’s terribly dark out here. Stupid curfew.”

“You know, Drax,” Jelpax started, using the same voice he always did when he stated the obvious, “if we can’t use lights, then we probably shouldn’t be talking so loud either.”

He took a few moments to contemplate what he said, then nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, you’re right. You need to stop talking.”

“Me? You’re the one—!”

“Shh!”

They walked to the back entrance in complete silence after that. The only thing that Jelpax could hear was their breathing and his own two feet. Once they reached the exit, Drax stuck a pin in the alarm, then fiddled with the lock until it clicked. He pushed the door open, then gestured for Jelpax to go first. Jelpax, however, made no move to leave the building.

“You realize it’s still absolutely pouring out there?” said Jelpax, crossing his arms.

“Yeah.” Drax nodded. “That is why we lost power, isn’t it?”

“And yet you don’t care about getting struck by lightning or drowning or something?”

“No. I’ve got this hat here to protect my hair, and that’s all that really matters to me.”

He made a face. “Your hair?”

“My hair,” he repeated. “Here, I’ve got one for you too.” He grabbed another beanie hat out of his backpack, then stepped up close to Jelpax and pulled it over his hair. “There you go,” he said, not reopening the distance between them.

Jelpax stared at him for a few seconds before stepping back and adjusting his hat. “Why did you bring one for me?” he asked, crossing his arms again.

“Because I care about your hair too. It must take _ages_ to make it look that good.”

He sighed. “I’ve told you before, Drax. My hair just naturally looks like this.”

Drax shrugged. “Whatever. Let’s just go outside.” He pushed Jelpax out of the door, then followed behind him, leaving the door stopped in the tiny inch of space that he left open.

Just as Jelpax had been expecting, it was completely freezing outside. However, there were a few lights out there which were on for some reason, and he appreciated that. Being able to see, that is. Shivering in his three layers of jackets, Jelpax looked over at Drax, who didn’t appear to be cold at all. “Aren’t you freezing?” he asked, following him over to the nearest lamppost. Drax didn’t respond for a moment, but opened his mouth a few times, just to close it right after. Eventually, he shook his head.

“No.”

Jelpax chose to shrug and leave it alone. It was hard to hear anything over the pouring rain anyway.

“Oh, my god!” Drax nearly dropped his phone when he cried out, then put it into his pocket to ensure he wouldn’t do so.

“What?”

“I just realized—it’s on!” he cried. “The lamppost is on! It has power!” He yanked open the panel on the side of it and peeked inside. “How the hell are all of these lampposts working if there’s no power?” He closed the panel and turned around, then looked up at the wires overhead. “I don’t think there’s anything wrong with those wires, either, which means…”

“What?” asked Jelpax. He was smart, but he technology was far from his area of expertise.

“Wires are fried from the inside. There was probably a short-circuit or something.”

“Let me guess.” He sighed. “We have to break into the basement?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, we might as well get going then.”

“Yup.”

It didn’t take too long to get back into the building once they found the right door again, but their process was slowed down by a pit-stop to get some dry clothes from their room. Jelpax was slightly bothered that Drax already knew where the basement’s entrance was, but he followed him anyway, hoping that the issue wouldn’t be too hard to fix.

//

“No! Fuck you, _Scopa_! Fuck you! And fuck your wife too! And your kids!”

“Uh, Koschei,” Theta began slowly. Koschei was getting a little bit too fed up with their current game, and it was starting to get out of hand. “You know that _Scopa_ doesn’t have a wife or kids, right? It’s a card game, and we aren’t even playing with the right deck.”

“Whatever,” he snapped. He threw his cards down onto the floor with such force that they scattered around the circle. “I’m done with this game.”

“Do you guys want to play poker instead?” asked Rallon. He turned his head when the door opened, stopping anyone from answering.

Mortimus was the one to walk in the room, as he unzipped his jacket. “Hey, have you guys seen Magnus?”

“No.” Theta shook his head, then pushed down his messy blond hair. “He hasn’t been around here. Have you tried messaging him?”

“Because he would respond to me.” He rolled his eyes. “Oh, well. He obviously doesn’t want to be found. Sorry for bothering you guys. See you later.”

They waved. “So,” said Millennia, “time for poker?”

Mortimus turned around faster than Ushas could turn her flashlight on. “Wait. Did you just say poker?”

“Yes. Why?”

“That’s only my favorite game!” he said, rubbing his hands together. He walked back over to them, then gestured for Rallon and Koschei to make room for him in between them. “Move over, kids. This is my zone now. Ushas, stop sulking and get in here. You’re playing the game with us, whether you like it or not.”

They went straight into the game after that. Ushas was dealing the cards, and Mortimus was the first one to win, with none other than a full house. He won the second game as well, until Ushas broke his streak and started one of her own by winning the three games after that.

“You’re surprisingly good at this, Ushas,” said Koschei casually, while Ushas was reshuffling the cards. “Do you play a lot?”

She shook her head. “Guess I’ve just got natural skills.”

Koschei nodded. “Sure. Okay.”

But he didn’t believe her for one second. She was cheating them all somehow, and he was going to get to the bottom of it.

//

“Shut up, ass-wipe.”

Epsilon gasped and clutched his chest in shock. “That’s not very nice, Magnus.”

At that point, Magnus literally could not care less if he was rude or not. Not that he usually cared, of course, but right then he was caring even less. Epsilon had pushed him so far over the edge that he had actually spent five minutes banging his head against the wall.

Him and Epsilon had never gotten along very well in the first place, but after that day, Magnus was counting them as sworn enemies. He still didn’t even know what Epsilon had wanted to talk to him about in the first place, and he didn’t want to.

“I don’t care, Epsilon,” he sneered. He stood up from his seat on the floor and began to pace around the room. He needed somewhere to vent his anger that wasn’t on Epsilon’s face, because he didn’t need to make any more trouble for himself, even if he wanted to clock him in the nose.

Magnus sighed and rubbed his temples slowly. If only Epsilon had been just a little bit smarter, he might have known not to close the door to the science lab while the power was out. Then again, who the hell didn’t know that they had automatic locks? They had to, or students like Ushas would probably stay in there all night.

“We need to figure out how to get out of here.”

“Why?” asked Epsilon. “I think that this bonding time is nice.”

“‘Bonding time’?” He made a face. “This is just one big, stupid, idiotic mistake made by the biggest dumb-shit in the world.”

“Are you all right, Magnus?”

“I’m fine, Epsilon. Just get us out of here. I have something that I need to do.”

“Something scary?”

“What? No. Nothing scares me.”

Epsilon edge closer to Magnus, his small flashlight turned up at his own face. “Then what is that look in your eyes?”

“Anger,” Magnus answered quickly, pulling a stray lock of hair behind his ear.

“That’s not just anger. You’re mad at me, but I think that you’re scared of something else.” He squinted, looking Magnus up and down slowly. “Maybe some _one_ else.”

“Who do you think you are?” he snapped. “Mortimus? Get off of my ass and mind your own business.”

Epsilon shrugged. “Whatever you say, boss.” He stood up and spun around on his heel, then headed up to the front of the classroom and sat down at the teacher’s desk. He started to impersonate their professor, and Magnus had to admit that the impression was spot on and kind of hilarious. He didn’t say it out loud, of course, because he hated Epsilon more than ever, but it was true.

From Magnus’s perspective (otherwise known as the correct perspective), Epsilon couldn’t have been more wrong with what he had just said. Magnus wasn’t scared of anything, and certainly not anyone. The only emotion he was feeling at that moment was anger. Why did Epsilon have to get him stuck in that stupid science lab? Why did Epsilon have to be such an idiot? More than once he had considered doing something horrible and blaming it on Epsilon to get him expelled, but he had never actually gone through with it. Perhaps it would be a good time to finally do it.

“So, do you want to play a game or something?” Epsilon asked awkwardly.

Magnus rolled his eyes. “No, Epsilon. I don’t want to play any games.”

“Please?” he begged. “We don’t have anything better to do. I mean, who knows how long we’re going to be stuck in here!”

“Don’t remind me.” Magnus paced to the back of the room and took a seat against the wall. He ran his hands down his face slowly, then groaned when he realized that Epsilon had sat down beside him.

“If you’re not going to play games with me, can you at least tell me why the Deca was having a late-night meeting in the science lab in the first place? ‘Cause that was kind of weird.”

Magnus sighed. It was going to be a long night.

//

“This isn’t working!” Drax cried. He dropped his lock-pick onto the floor, then pounded his fist against the cold, metal door. He put it up to his mouth in pain after that, because, as everyone knew, Drax never had very strong fists.

“Calm down, Drax,” said Jelpax. He put his hands on Drax’s shoulders, then guided him away from the door. He spun his friend around to face him, then moved his arms back down to his sides and took a small step back. “Look at me.” Drax didn’t look at him, his eyes fixed on his hurt fist. “Drax. Look at me.”

Drax looked up. “What?” he asked. Jelpax didn’t answer with words but grabbed Drax’s ear with his nails and twisted. Before Drax even had a chance to scream, Jelpax clapped a hand across his mouth, muffling him when he did cry out.

“What did you do that for?!” he demanded, yanking away from his roommate.

“You feel better?” asked Jelpax.

Drax seemed to consider his answer for a second before answering. “Well, yeah, I’m a bit less frustrated. But I also like you a little less.”

“I figured.” He shrugged. “Now pick up that lock-pick and let’s get back to work. The longer we stand around here, the more likely we are to get caught.”

“Of course that’s all you care about,” said Drax, rolling his eyes. He bent down and picked up the lock-pick, then blew the dust off of it and put it back in the lock for the basement door. He twisted it around for another minute, until finally the lock clicked. “Yes!”

“Are we in?”

“Duh.” Drax pulled the door open, then took one step before disappearing into the darkness, a loud series of thuds and thumps following behind him. “Ow. Pax! Careful up there! It’s not a hallway—it’s a staircase!”

“Well, it is the basement.”

“Ow, ow, ow!”

Jelpax rushed down the stairs carefully, making sure that he didn’t trip like his roommate before him. Once he reached the bottom, he spotted Drax walking over towards the fuse box. He looked a little bit wobbly, and Jelpax could tell that he had fallen hard, but not hard enough to stop him from wanting his electricity back.

As soon as he made it over to the cable box, Drax let out his apparent surprise through a low breath. Jelpax couldn’t tell exactly what was wrong with it from where he was standing, but based on the look on Drax’s face, it was something really bad. Perhaps, he thought, he should look into engineering at some point. That is, if he was ever able to find the inspiration to do so. He was more of a history buff when it came to geeky interests.

“I think it’s fried,” said Drax, shaking his head slowly.

Once he was standing next to his friend, Jelpax could tell that they were _definitely_ blackened and fried. “You think?”

“Yeah. I’m not wearing my contacts so it kind of just looks like shadows to me.”

Jelpax sighed and reached into his pocket, then handed a pair of thick black glasses over to Drax, who made an face odd face and took them from him.

“I saw you take them out when we stopped at our room.”

Drax nodded and glanced over his shoulder, then pushed the glasses onto his face and leaned in closer to the fuse box. “Yeah, definitely fried. And I think—yeah, these two wires aren’t even connected.” He pointed into the box, careful not to touch. “If I had to make a guess, we didn’t blow a fuse. But why would someone do this?”

Jelpax shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“Well, I guess that it’s not really our concern. I mean, we know that nobody in the Deca did it, so what matters now is that we get the power back on. The staff probably just thinks that the wind knocked something over and it’ll be back on soon.”

“So why don’t we just tell them—oh, you want to _help_ the saboteur?”

Drax pushed his glasses onto his forehead and rolled his eyes. “No, I don’t want anyone to know that we broke in and were snooping around down here. How else do I explain that knowledge? I had a psychic vision?”

“Right.”

“Anyway, I can get these fixed faster than the staff can call in a professional. I just need the right tools to work with.”

“Of course, because a student is better than a trained adult?”

“This isn’t some cliché novel, Pax. I’m serious.”

“Whatever you say.”

Drax shot him a look before darting over to the wall of closets and cabinets. He started to search through them, hoping that they had the tools that he needed to work with. He didn’t know how much longer he could last without electricity.

//

Koschei slammed his cards down onto the floor, his face flushed completely red. He glared at Ushas, who was smirking back at him. She had won the last four games of poker, and everyone was getting tired of playing with her. No one had enough skill to win seven games in a row, and as Koschei stared at her, eyes narrowed, he realized that he had been right.

“Oh, oh!” he cried. He ripped the cards out of her hands, then threw them to the side and leapt towards her. “I really hope that karma kicks you in the ass before I do, you—”

“Kos, stop!” Theta exclaimed. He grabbed Koschei and yanked him away from Ushas. “What’s wrong? What did she do?”

“She marked the cards! That’s why we all keep losing; she marked the freakin’ cards!” He held up one of the cards that they had been playing with, then pointed to a tiny symbol written in the bottom right corner. “She’s a cheat. She’s not even good at the game. She’s just a cheat.”

“Please.” Ushas scoffed and tossed her hair over her shoulder before crossing her arms. “Why would I cheat? I’m already the master at this game. Just because they’re marked doesn’t mean that I’m looking for them, nor does it mean that I’m no good at this game. For all you know, I’m not even the one who marked them.”

“Are you joking? Of course you marked them. They’re your cards!”

“It could have been my little brother.”

Koschei snorted and rolled his eyes. “You don’t have a little brother.”

“Could have been one of Jelpax’s little brothers.”

“Doesn’t he only have one little brother?” asked Millennia, furrowing her brow.

Rallon nodded. “I think the rest of them are older than him,” he said.

“Oh, whatever,” Ushas snapped. “Either way, he has a million brothers. Let’s just get back to the game.” She smiled as she started to gather the cards. “I’ll deal.”

“No way,” said Koschei. He ripped the cards out of her hands yet again and quickly gathered the ones on the floor. “We’re done with poker.”

Ushas sighed. “All right, then what about Uno? You can’t cheat at Uno.”

“Okay, I’ll play that then, but I’m going to deal the cards this time.”

“Whatever.”

Just as Koschei began to pass the cards out, the door swung open again and Vansell walked in. Everyone looked up when he came in, but they weren’t thrilled to see him, and thus went right back to the cards.

“We’re playing Uno,” said Rallon. “Want to join us?”

Vansell shrugged and sat down beside him. “Eh, why not?” He looked at the cards Koschei handed him, then turned to stare at him. “All right, I know that I’m not your favorite person in the world, but you didn’t have to hand-pick crappy cards for me.”

“It’s Uno,” said Koschei, a smug grin on his face. “There are no crappy cards.”

//

“Isn’t that dangerous without a welding mask?” asked Jelpax, his eyes fixed on his friend.

Drax found the tools that he needed to fix both the broken and fried wires, but he had started to repair them without doing anything to protect his arms and hands. Jelpax was concerned about that decision, but Drax didn’t seem to care.

“No.” He shrugged, quickly followed by an awkward twitch. He clearly electrocuted his finger and was trying to pretend that he hadn’t. “It’s not like I’m some stupid mortal. I’m Gallifreyan. Even if I do get burned, it’s only a bit of heat. What’s the big deal?”

“Well, you’re not taking into account severe burns. Or scarring. Or—”

“Okay, okay, I get it. But still, I didn’t find a mask or gloves, so I don’t have anything to wear. Now stop distracting me so I can put these two wires back together. Or, four half-wires. Yikes.” He ran a hand through his hair. “Still don’t know what I’m going to do about these fried ones. I guess that we can just hope that they’re not for anything important?”

“It’s us, Drax,” Jelpax sighed. “Of course it’s something important.”

“No.” He shook his head as he peered inside of the box. “I think it’s just, well, I don’t want to say the main generator line, but it’s the main generator line.”

“Oh, my god. You’ve got to be kidding me. There is no way that it’s something that important.”

“No, it’s not.” Drax laughed while he went back to resealing the two snapped wires. “The main generator line is that one in the back. It’s still in perfectly good condition, actually. Probably because the person who snipped them was too much of a chicken to reach back there. This line in the front here is probably for the… Internet? I don’t know. I could be wrong, but judging by where it hooks up to, I think that’s it.”

Jelpax let out a sigh of relief. “Oh, okay. You scared me for a minute. So, are we just going to leave that one as is, then?”

“Oh, hell no! Like I would leave the poor Internet behind! We just need to figure out how to repair it. I think I might need to get a whole new wire.” He made a face. “That or we could get a watering pot and see if it brings back the life in there.”

“You’re a bloody genius engineer and yet you don’t realize that doing that would create a shock big enough to kill us both?”

“I was joking, kill-joy.”

“Right.”

Drax rolled his eyes and went back to work. It wasn’t rare that Drax’s jokes went over Jelpax’s head, but it was usually just because he was so good at deadpanning. Still, Jelpax was wondering more and more, especially right then, when he was standing in the cold, dungeon-like basement, if he should start trying to be funny as well. He didn’t want to be a Magnus, like Drax said.

Speaking of Drax, Jelpax’s thoughts were broken as soon as his tools went clattering onto the floor.

“Eureka!” he cried. “I’ve done it! All of the wires are back together!”

“Then where’s the power?” asked Jelpax, turning his head to look around the still-dark room.

“Uh, I don’t know. Maybe it’s always really dark down here? Go see if the lights are on upstairs.”

Jelpax ran upstairs and poked his head out of the door, then shook his head and ran back down. It was still pitch black up there, as far as he could see. “Nothing,” he said.

“Oh, god. Then my other guess was right.”

“What? What other guess?”

“Well, it sounds like the machinery has started back up again down here, and you know how I said that I thought that was the Internet line?” he babbled, fiddling with his hands awkwardly.

“Yeah.”

“My other guess was the light wire.” He sighed. “So, I got the heating and the Internet and everything, but the lights aren’t coming back unless I figure out how to fix this fried wire.”

“You’re kidding, right?” asked Jelpax. He was desperately hoping that Drax had just been joking again, but based on the expression on his face, he wasn’t. “What’s the plan?”

“Watering pot?”

Jelpax took a deep breath. He couldn’t imagine that anyone’s night would ever be as long as his was that evening.

//

Had Jelpax known where Magnus was at that same time, he probably wouldn’t have thought that his night was the worst. After Magnus shot him down, Epsilon had decided to play a single-player game, which he called “stack the desks”. It consisted of, basically, piling all of the science desks on top of each other as if he was playing an enormous game of Jenga. They had already come crashing down multiple times, and Magnus had a growing headache from the sounds of them smashing down against the floor. He wasn’t entirely certain how long Epsilon had been playing that stupid game, but in his opinion, it was too long. Way too long.

“Epsilon, stop. You’re driving me insane.”

“You’re already insane,” said Epsilon. He climbed back down to the bottom of the desk to stack another on top. “You can handle a bit more chaos.”

Magnus rolled his eyes. He was not insane—not even close. No way. According to some people he could be a bit out of line sometimes, but that didn’t make him insane. If he was insane then he would be in an asylum, not a school.

“I’m not insane,” he said calmly. “You’re the one who’s playing Jenga with science desks. At least I’m not doing anything stupid like that.”

“Stupid? That’s not even your best insult. You usually do a lot better than that.”

“Well, it’s hard to think straight when there’s banging left and right.”

“Banging? Who’s banging?” He made a face. “Oh wait. Is it me?”

“Do you think it is?”

“No.”

Magnus dropped his head into his hands. It was impossible to get through to the sentient peanut sometimes known as Epsilon. All he could do at that point was hope that the power came back on, and fast.

//

“Not to be a party pooper or anything…” Rallon began, as he placed his cards back into the pile for reshuffling. They had just finished their tenth round of Uno and Koschei was gathering the cards for another. “…but you know, you can only play Uno so many times. Isn’t there some other game we can play that it’s not possible for Ushas to cheat at?”

The room was silent for a minute before Millennia spoke. “How about crazy eights?” she suggested. “I don’t think that you can really cheat at that one. Well, I guess that the dealer could, but I think we’ve all seen how much Koschei hates cheating already, so I’m not too worried about that.”

“Okay, so crazy eights it is then,” said Koschei, as he started to deal the cards yet again. He took out one too many sets of cards, then looked over at the door expectantly. Everyone else looked as well, but no one saw anything there. There wasn’t anything for him to be looking at.

“Um, Kos?” said Theta. “What are you looking at?”

“I don’t know. I was kind of expecting someone else to walk in.”

“Why? Did you invite someone?”

“No, but someone new came in the last two times we started playing new games and there are still three more of us out there somewhere, so I guess I just thought that it would happen again.”

They all nodded. He did have a point. None of them really expected Magnus to join them, and Jelpax was probably enjoying the quiet time, but it seemed like Drax should have gotten bored by then. Though they were all thinking the same thing, none of them bothered voicing it and they started to play the game.

“Wait,” said Rallon, once his turn began, “how do you play crazy eights?”

“You don’t know how to play crazy eights?” Ushas scoffed, as she flipped her hair back over her shoulder.

“No. Should I have said something before?”

“Yes.” Koschei nodded, an annoyed expression crossing his face. “Like, before I dealt the cards, maybe? You should have told us something so that we could have gone over the rules before we were already knee-deep in the game.”

“Knee-deep?” Vansell made a face. “We’ve hardly even started playing. Only you and Mortimus have even gone so far. How the hell is that knee-deep?”

Koschei shrugged. “It just is.”

He and Ushas very briefly taught Rallon how to play crazy eights, and they launched right back into the game. Rallon’ first turn was a complete flop, but he still managed to understand the rules well enough that it didn’t count as a foul. He caught on quickly after that, but soon enough he cut himself off at the the beginning of his turn, an odd look on his face.

“Wait a minute,” he said, as he scratched his head with his free hand, “isn’t this just glorified Uno?”

“Or is Uno just glorified crazy eights?” Koschei countered. “It doesn’t really matter. Just take your turn already, you dope. I don’t have all night.”

Needless to say, Rallon didn’t rush his turn.

//

“Enough with the tables!” Magnus shouted, rubbing his temples slowly. His headache was about ten times worse than it had been before, and he couldn’t even begin to describe the strange sensation his entire body was feeling because of the table that had fallen on him a few minutes before. Epsilon had also managed to break one of the glass cabinets near the teacher’s desk, and Magnus didn’t know what was in there, but a really weird smell had filled the room and it was getting a bit hard to breathe.

“Okay, fine,” said Epsilon. He began to tear down his tower of tables. “But if you want me to stop doing this then you’re going to need to give me something better to do. I can’t just sit around and do nothing.”

“Anything that you want.”

“Let’s play charades!”

“Not that.”

Epsilon glared at him. “You said anything that I want.”

“And earlier I said, ‘no games’,” Magnus argued. He rose from his seat and realized that he was slightly dizzy but guessed that it was from the table that had nearly crushed him. After all, it had hit him hard. “So, if you put the two together, it sort of says, ‘anything you want as long as it isn’t a game’.”

“But there isn’t anything else to do in here! Can we _please_ play charades?”

Magnus sighed. “Fine, okay. But I’m only doing the guessing. I won’t be dancing around this room anytime soon.”

“Yay!” Epsilon quickly finished putting the desks away, then bounced over to Magnus. He stood there, doing absolutely nothing. Magnus started at him for a few minutes, waiting it out until he got extremely annoyed.

“Are you going to start the game? Or are you just going to stand there like the idiot that you are?”

Epsilon’s shoulders sagged. “I did start the game, Magnus. I was impersonating me.” He shrugged. “Let’s do another one! You’ll get this one right away.” He put his hands on his hips, then pretended to flip his hair over his shoulder. He sashayed forwards and pointed his finger out, as if he was scolding someone.

“Ushas.”

He nodded vigorously. “Yes!”

After that, he smiled, laughed, and crossed his arms over his chest, then stared down at the floor. Magnus watched him repeat the cycle twice before deciding on an answer.

“Drax.”

“Yeah! Hey, you’re pretty good at this game, Magnus. Maybe you should try impersonating someone.”

Magnus shook his head, his hair swishing around his face slowly. “No. No way.”

“Come on. We’re the only ones in here. It’s not like anyone else will ever even know that it happened.”

“Okay, fine.” Magnus stood up and switched places with Epsilon, then slouched his shoulders, bent his knees, and started to dance around like a monkey.

“A monkey!” Epsilon seemed far too thrilled to make his guess.

“No. I was doing you.”

The smile fell from his face. He was silent for a moment before he spoke. “Do I really move like a monkey?”

“No,” said Magnus, rolling his eyes. “You act like a monkey, you idiot.”

“Oh! Okay, I get it. You don’t like me.”

“No shit, Sherlock.”

“Great.” Epsilon’s stupid smile returned to his face. “Now that we’ve got that all cleared up, let’s play again. Move out of the way—it’s my turn!”

Magnus did as he said. He felt no need to pretend to be anyone else again. Ever.

//

“And you’re absolutely certain that this wire is for the lights?”

“Yes, Pax. I’ve told you time and time again. If it wasn’t for the lights, then they would have turned on when I got the rest of the wires fixed. Now, I think that what we’re going to have to do is actually take out this entire section of wire here—” he gestured to the visibly charred wire “—because what you can see is toast. Garbage. Nothing can be salvaged from there. But if we can find a new wire then I can cut off all of the fired area and seal it back on like I did with the others.”

Jelpax nodded. “I’m glad you’ve got the skills to do this, else you’d probably still be pacing around our room like a maniac.”

“I know, right?” Drax walked back over to the supply cabinets and started to look through drawers for the wire he needed. Jelpax went over to help him look, but he failed to find anything, as did Drax.

Just when he was about to suggest that they look somewhere else, Drax’s phone started to ring. “At least we have cell service,” he joked, glancing down at the screen. “Hold on a second.”

“Hey, Dad.”

There was a long silence before Drax spoke again, during which Jelpax decided to poke through a few drawers he hadn’t looked in yet. He still didn’t find any spare wires.

“But she can’t—No, Dad, she can’t do that, can she?” A short pause before he continued. “Well, that’s bullshit.” He ran a hand through his hair nervously. “No. No, it’s not fair to you.” Pause. “That’s not your fault though.”

Jelpax had to do everything to keep himself from going back over to Drax. His curiosity was clawing away at him, but he knew that it was none of his business and he had to stay out of it. So he did.

“No. No, you know, I’m just going to call you back later, okay? It’s too late for this right now. Okay, okay. Bye.”

Drax walked back over to the cabinets then, the expression on his face slightly annoyed and seemingly disappointed. He said nothing when he returned to rummaging through drawers, so Jelpax spoke first.

“What was that about?” he asked, as casually as he could.

“Nothing,” Drax snapped. “Sorry,” he said quickly. He ran his hands down his face. “I mean, it was nothing important. Let’s just find this thing and get back to work so that we can get out of here.”

“That’s fine with me.”

Generally, if Drax didn’t want to talk about something, there was no possible way to make him open up about it, which was why Jelpax was so quick to back down. He did want to get out of the basement anyway, and they still had plenty of cabinets to search.

Of course, as per their luck, Drax didn’t find the wire that he was looking for until he opened up the last cabinet in the way back corner of the room. He wasted no time running back over to the fuse box once he had it in hand.

“Be careful,” said Jelpax, right before Drax cut into the old wire. He tossed it to the side once it was freed, then held the new wire in place and started to wrap it up with the ends of the old one. He took a sudden step back when the single light in the basement flickered back to life.

“Yes! I’ve done it!” Drax dropped his roll of tape onto the floor and turned around to high-five Jelpax, who took a step away from him.

“Drax, what did you do to your hands?”

He made a face and looked down at them. “Oh. I guess I burned them a bit. Whoops.”

“A bit?” He reached out and carefully took one of Drax’s hands into his own, then turned it over. “That’s not a little bit. That’s a lot. They aren’t bad burns, but they’re plenty.”

“Oh, well.” Drax shrugged and yanked away from Jelpax. “It’ll heal. Let’s just get out of here, okay?”

He ran back up the stairs, and Jelpax followed behind him, but not too closely. After all, if Drax fell down the stairs again, someone would have to catch him.

//

“Okay, I’m starting to think that Rallon was right,” said Ushas, as she tossed her cards onto the floor by her feet. “Crazy eights _is_ just a fancy version of Uno.”

They had been playing crazy eights for even longer than they had been playing Uno, and at that point everyone was ready to leave and go to bed, but no one wanted to walk around in the dark. However, it was seeming easier and easier to try it after their twenty-sixth game of crazy eights.

Koschei nodded. “Me too. This game is getting really dull. Do you guys want to play— _Oh, my god! Power!_ ”

All of them jumped up to their feet. They celebrated the return of power for less than a minute before they all started to file out of the room, more than happy to get out of the cramped space. Mortimus was the last one to leave, as he stopped in the doorway on his way out.

“Wait a minute,” he said. “Where _is_ Magnus?”

//

The short game of charades had died down after around twenty minutes of playing. Magnus had stayed true to his word and refused to take another turn, but Epsilon was keeping himself occupied doing impressions, so they kept going. They only stopped when Epsilon suddenly became incredibly dizzy and had to sit down.

“Epsilon,” said Magnus, running a hand over his face. His head was _pounding_. He went on once Epsilon turned to him. “What the hell was in that cupboard that you smashed?”

“I don’t know.” Epsilon shrugged and slid down onto the floor. He attempted to get comfortable, but it wasn’t possible on the hard, tile floor. “It wasn’t anything bad, I think. It said something like ‘hazardous, do not breathe in’, but it’s not like we’re breathing it. It spilled; it didn’t become a gas.”

“You idiot.” Magnus would have shouted, but his throat was burning. “We’re breathing in deadly fumes.”

He shook his head. “I don’t think so.”

“If we don’t get out of here fast then we’re probably going to die.”

“It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.”

“This is serious, numbskull.”

Epsilon shrugged. “I’ve always wondered what death feels like,” he said thoughtfully.

Magnus took a deep breath and stood up. He knew it was a long shot, but he decided to try the door again, desperate to get out of the room. At the exact moment that he pulled on the door, all the lights around them flickered back on and the door slid open. He stood there in shock for a moment, until Epsilon appeared behind him and derailed his train of thought.

“Why didn’t you just do that before?”

//

“So, you’re telling us that you were stuck with Epsilon that entire time?”

“Yeah.” Magnus nodded. “Why is it so hard to believe? It was just a couple of hours, and I only wanted to shoot myself like, four times, and I only actually almost killed myself once.”

“What?”

“You’ll find out tomorrow.”

The Deca was having another meeting the day following the blackout, since the first one had not exactly gone to plan. At that moment they were discussing what they all did during the blackout, which had become more of an interrogation on the three of them who hadn’t shown up to play games.

“Anyway,” Magnus went on, “can we talk about someone else now?”

“Not until you tell us how you managed to keep from killing Epsilon,” said Drax, leaning forwards on his desk. “What’s your secret?”

“Wait for him to subdue himself with poisonous gas.”

“What?”

“I’ll say it again: you’ll find out tomorrow.”

No one spoke for a few minutes after that as they all tried to wrap their heads around what he had said. After she grew tired of the silence, Ushas decided to speak up and end all rumors before they had started.

“Personally, I had a very exciting night,” she said. “We played a lot of games together, which most of you know, but there are three of you who don’t. They were really fun, except for when Koschei tried to cheat me out of poker. That sucked. We actually spent a lot of time bonding, though, which is what I was trying to get us to do anyway.”

“Wait, wait wait. Hold up.” Koschei shook his head, one hand held up in front of him. “ _I_ tried to cheat _you_ out of poker?”

She nodded. “No point in denying it.”

“Actually, there is, since most of us can confirm that it was actually you who cheated,” said Vansell.

“Whatever. You have no proof.”

“Well, there are the marked cards,” Rallon pointed out.

“It doesn’t matter,” Ushas snapped. She narrowed her eyes. “Let’s get back to the main points. We had nice bonding time, but Jelpax and Drax, tell me that you weren’t hanging out during the blackout. Tell me that you were venturing into new social groups.”

“We were together during the blackout,” said Drax.

“And we were not making new friends,” Jelpax finished.

She rolled her eyes and let out a puff of air. “Did my speech not get through to you guys?” she asked, tapping her foot impatiently.

“No, it did,” Drax answered, “but it was pitch black and the Internet was calling me. Sorry, not sorry.”

Millennia spoke up before Ushas could. “So, if you guys weren’t hanging out with new friends, what were you doing?”

“We were breaking into off-limits sections of the school, wandering around outside after curfew, stealing supplies to repair damaged school property—which was not broken because of us, by the way—and taping wires back together,” said Jelpax. There were a few seconds of silence before he added on a short version. “We were turning the power back on.”

Ushas snorted. “You want us to believe that you turned the power back on?”

“Yes, because it’s true.”

“Nah.” Magnus shook his head. “Drax couldn’t do that, no matter how bad he wanted electricity.”

“Believe it or not, he did,” said Jelpax. “He might not be the smartest person in the school, but he’s pretty handy when it comes to stuff like this. Plus, I was there to make sure that he didn’t do anything too stupid, so he ended up getting the power back on with minimal injuries.”

Drax glanced down at his hands awkwardly. He was wearing dark purple fingerless gloves to hide the burns. “Yeah, I was worried he was going to be useless, but I’m glad he was there after all. Sometimes he can be annoying and over-bright, but he was great last night. There is still one thing I’m still wondering, though.” He paused and shook his head slowly. “Who did vandalize the fuse box?”

Jelpax just shrugged, and no one else said a word. They didn’t know what he was talking about, and there was a good chance that they never would.


	7. Stubborn Teens & Super Creeps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ushas and Theta start an argument war. Jelpax and Drax try to help Vansell get a date. Mortimus is extra creepy.

“Hey, Theta.”

Theta looked up when Millennia and Ushas came into his room. He quickly tossed his book beneath his pillow and waved lamely while Millennia sat on the foot of his bed. She pulled a lock of blue hair behind her ear before speaking.

“What were you reading?” she asked warmly.

“Something for homework. It’s not interesting.”

He had answered so quickly that she was inclined to not believe him, but she didn’t want to push him to elaborate. Ushas, on the other hand, didn’t care enough to make him talk, and moved onto the reason they had come into his room that afternoon.

“So, do you want to do something that _is_ interesting?” she asked, as she took a seat on Koschei’s bed. “Because me and Millennia have got this absolutely brilliant idea and we’d like you to tag along.”

“Uh, sure? What is it?”

“Get out of the Academy and go someplace.”

Theta’s hazel eyes went wide. “Where?” he asked, despite his better judgment.

“Just around the court,” said Millennia. “I thought that we could explore. A lot of people in our year have been out there and I’m starting to wish that I knew my way around the forest too.”

“Are you sure that it’s a good idea?”

While Theta was known as a troublemaker, he was not wildly adventurous, and rarely left the Academy when given the choice. Wandering out into the woods was not something high on his to-do list, but he didn’t want Ushas and Millennia to think he was a chicken.

“Yes.” Millennia nodded. “It’ll be fine. It’s not like we can get lost. The forest isn’t even that big.”

“Well it wasn’t until you decided to jinx it.” He shook his head slowly. “There is no way that I’m going to go now. You guys are crazy.”

“Come on, Thete,” Ushas pleaded, her dark brown eyes wide. “We really, really want you to come.”

“Okay, I get it now. I would have expected that from Millennia, but you must be mad to think that I wouldn’t figure it out.”

“Excuse me?”

He rolled his eyes. “Whatever it is you’re planning. I’m onto you. I don’t know what you’re doing yet, but I know that you would never beg for me to come anywhere unless you had a really good reason.”

Though that may not have been true about Millennia, as she loved hanging out with all her friends including Theta, it was most certainly a fact about Ushas. She could hardly spend any time alone with Theta without arguing with him or getting severely annoyed, which led to her avoiding him often.

“That may be true, but I still have Millennia here, right? She’s too nice to trick you.”

“It’s true,” she agreed. “I am.”

“Are you two absolutely stuck on this?” asked Theta. It seemed that there was no escape, and if they weren’t going to let him get out of it, he was just going to have to go and get it over with.

“Yes.”

Theta sighed loudly in a last attempt to change their minds. When neither of them budged, he sighed again, even louder. Still, neither Millennia nor Ushas flinched. Clearly the two of them were more stubborn than he had expected.

“Fine. Let’s go.”

//

Vansell rolled his eyes for the umpteenth time that day.

Jelpax and Drax were, as always, completely wrong; but as per usual, they were both too stubborn to admit to it. Vansell didn’t understand why Jelpax had sided with Drax, when he was so obviously in the wrong, but he wasn’t bothered enough to ask. He had expected Drax to argue but he had thought that Jelpax was too smart to ever think that Vansell was incorrect. Something else was going on. They probably hated him. It was all a huge conspiracy.

“Seriously, you two can’t possibly think that—”

“Hi, Vansell.”

He made a face and looked over his shoulder. It took him a second to register the blond-haired, freckle-faced girl who had interrupted his speech. She had a shy smile on her face, and when Vansell landed his gaze on her she didn’t move at all, waiting for him to respond. He didn’t.

What could she have possibly wanted from him? He couldn’t even remember the last time that someone outside of the Deca had approached him in the hallway, and he had no idea why someone would be approaching him then.

Vansell lost his train of thought when Drax punched him in the shoulder. He winced. Drax’s knuckles were not particularly strong, but he was incredibly bony, and that was enough to induce pain. He looked over at his friend, who glared at him and gestured to the girl. Finally, Vansell decided to speak to her.

“Hello…” His voice trailed off when he realized that he had no idea what the girl’s name was.

“My friends call me Esa,” she said, her voice soft.

“If that’s what your friends call you, then what should I—” He was cut off by Drax nailing him in the shoulder yet again. Vansell shot him a look, then turned his attention back to the girl beside him. “Esa. Pleasure to meet you.”

“You too.” She smiled awkwardly. “Even though we’ve been in the same mathematics class for the last however many years. It’s nice to actually talk to you.”

Vansell glanced over at Drax and Jelpax, neither of whom seemed surprised by her words, nor his lack of recognition.

“Yeah, sorry,” he said. “I always focus on the teacher, not the students, and I tend to get the class idiots as my partners.”

She giggled, an expression that Vansell was not known to induce. “Me too.” There was a short silence in which neither of them spoke. “I like your shirt,” she said suddenly.

“Uh, thanks,” he replied, shifting his gaze downward for a moment. It was after class hours, so he was not wearing his robes, but he wasn’t wearing anything special either; just a dark gray t-shirt. He caught Drax’s fist when it came at him again. _Not this time, you bastard_.

“Anyway,” said Esa, “I have to go. It was nice talking to you.”

She turned around and headed off down the hall, leaving Vansell and his two companions in silence. Unfortunately, however, the silence did not last long, and before he knew it, Jelpax and Drax had ganged up on him to hit him on both arms. He glared at them when the stepped in front of him.

“What was that?” asked Drax, a look of sheer shock plastered onto his face.

“What was what?” Vansell had no clue what he was talking about. He had responded to everything that the girl had said, right? It wasn’t like he had been rude. “You hitting me?”

“No. She was trying to flirt with you, you thick dunce,” said Jelpax, right before he reached up a hand to slap him.

“Quit hitting me!” Vansell snapped. He took a step away from them. He was seriously done with the two idiots, and if they even thought about hitting him again, he was going to get them back with a much harder force. He briefly wondered if Mortimus would let him borrow his steel bat.

“Then quit being an idiot,” said Drax. “She was totally into you, you dumbass. Why didn’t you ask her out?”

“I didn’t know that she was hitting on me! I mean, she couldn’t have possibly been any more subtle about it. If she wanted to go out with me, why didn’t she just ask?”

“Because girls like it when guys ask,” Jelpax explained. He crossed his arms when he rolled his eyes.

Vansell scoffed. “And you would know that. When have you ever gone on a date? Ever?” Jelpax didn’t answer, and Vansell smirked. “Seriously. Have you ever even _talked_ to a girl in your life?”

“Hey!” Drax narrowed his eyes and jabbed a finger in Vansell’s direction. “He has talked to both Millennia _and_ Ushas.”

“Right, I forgot,” he said sarcastically. “But still, it’s not like he’s ever talked to any other girls.” He made a face. “In fact, you haven’t either. Who the hell do you think you are to give me dating advice?”

“Okay, so maybe we don’t have a lot of first-hand experience, but still. I mean, let’s be honest. Anyone could tell that she was flirting with you. How thick can you possibly be to think that she came up to you to do anything else?”

Vansell shrugged. “Maybe I just focus on my schoolwork instead of some stupid romance crap. You should really try it sometime. Yeah, right after you learn how to stay out of other people’s business.”

“As if.” Jelpax laughed. “This is what we do. We’re always hanging out where we’re not wanted. Do you really expect us to do anything else?”

“Maybe get your own lives? This is just ridiculous. I don’t even want to go out with her anyway.”

“Well that’s just too bad,” said Drax, “because you are going to go out with her and you’re going to like it.”

Vansell stared at him, at a complete loss for words. It was Jelpax who stepped up and spoke first, breaking the uncomfortable silence.

“Whoa, Drax,” he said. “Take a step back. I’m not sure that we should do that.”

“Thank you.” Vansell was glad that at least one of them had some sense in their thick skulls.

“I mean, we should really talk to Millennia first. You know that we’re complete idiots when it comes to actually acing on things like this.”

Drax nodded. “Yeah, you’re right. We are. Let’s go talk to Millennia.”

“Okay. Come on.”

They each grabbed one of Vansell’s wrists and started walking, practically dragging him down the hallway with them. He didn’t bother fighting it. It was a lost cause, and he didn’t have anything better to do that evening anyway.

//

“What are you doing?”

Rallon had been sitting in the library when he asked the question. He was studying for his upcoming math test but had gotten nearly nowhere in the last half an hour. He tried to ignore Mortimus and the way he scribbled on his notepad every few minutes, all the while glancing up at Rallon, but it was impossible.

Mortimus shrugged when he asked, and leaned back in the cushy burgundy chair he was sitting in. “I’m taking notes.”

“On what?” There were no books in front of Mortimus anywhere, nor anything else that Rallon associated with studying. “You’ve just been looking at me.”

“Yeah, exactly. I’m taking notes on you.” He looked back at his notepad and scribbled down several more words.

“Why are you doing that?” asked Rallon. He knew that his voice sounded weak and confused, and he didn’t care. He wanted answers.

He didn’t look up at his friend but kept writing. “Doing what?”

“Taking notes.” He waited for Mortimus to respond but continued on when he didn’t. “That’s creepy, Mort. Please stop writing about me.”

Mortimus dropped his pencil into his lap and put his feet up on the dark brown coffee table in front of him. “Why is it creepy? I’m just observing your behavior. It’s not like I’m a stalker or something. You were just the first person that I saw.”

“That doesn’t make it okay.”

“It doesn’t?” The look on Mortimus’s face was more than a little bit confused. He leaned forwards in his seat, his brown hair bouncing slightly. “But I’m just doing it for research. How is that bad?”

“Because you’re watching me like a hawk and I never gave you permission to do that,” he answered. He knew that Mortimus was a bit weird, but he would never understand the man’s complete lack of ethics. “So, is this for your psychology class or something?”

He shook his head. “No, I’m just doing it because I’m trying to find a pattern in people. Again, I’m not targeting you specifically.”

“Okay, but you’re not even doing this for a class? Because I would probably be a lot more willing to be your subject if you were doing this for a class.”

“Then I, uh, I am doing it for a class.”

Rallon crossed his arms. “You just said that you weren’t. You can’t lie now just because I told you that things would be different that way. Now just stop, okay? You’re seriously creeping me out.”

“All right, but I still don’t get it. What’s so creepy about someone watching you? It’s not like I was asking you weird questions or something.”

“Well, how would you feel if I told you that someone had been staring at you for the last half an hour?”

He glanced over his shoulder as if to check that there was no one there. “Well, how hot are they?”

“Not at all,” said Rallon, knowing that Mortimus would offer to pimp himself if the answer was anything else.

“Then why the hell are they looking at me? That’s just weird.”

“To my point. You can’t just ‘observe’ someone, Mort. It’s not right.”

“No, it’s not right to stare at someone. I wasn’t staring. I was actually observing. Observation is okay. That’s how you learn. I would never learn anything if I didn’t observe. Now go back to what you were doing. This conversation is putting a damper on my day.”

Rallon sighed and reached out to grab his pencil. Mortimus snatched it before he could and tossed his own onto the table in its place. Rallon didn’t even ask why—he just grabbed the new pencil and shot Mortimus a confused look, hoping that he would understand the message.

Mortimus only blinked when Rallon did so. “What?” he asked, with an innocent shrug. “My pencil was dull.”

//

“Can we go back inside now?”

“No.”

“But we’ve been out here forever!”

“Thete, we just left the building. Literally. Turn around. The steps are right there.”

He shrugged nervously. “Are we allowed to do this?” asked Theta, chewing on his thumbnail lamely. “It doesn’t seem like it would be allowed.”

Ushas rolled her eyes. “Of course, it’s allowed. We aren’t leaving the grounds, are we? We’re just looking around them.”

“What if we got lost when we were looking around and then wandered off of the grounds and broke the rules?”

“That’s not going to happen,” said Millennia. She plucked a pink flower out of a nearby bush and stuck it behind her ear. “You need to just let loose, Thete. Have a little fun.”

“Fun?” he gaped. “You want me to have fun? How can I have fun when we’re practically about to be eaten by—”

“Nothing is going to eat us!”

If there was anyone that it was impossible to annoy, Millennia would be that person. She was incredibly polite and never showed that she was irritated, even if something did get on her nerves, which was why it was so abnormal that she was the one losing her temper because of Theta’s incessant prodding.

“How do you know that?” asked Theta. He didn’t wait for an answer before continuing. “You don’t. You don’t know that.”

“Yes,” said Ushas exasperatedly, “we do. The grounds are protected. We’re going to be fine, Thete. Just chill out.”

Theta nodded and shook himself off. It was probably going to be fine, after all. It was far from the first time that he had broken the rules, and if he was careful their trip might not even get added onto the long list. Ushas had said that it was allowed, and Theta was inclined to trust her. Not because he liked her, of course, just because he knew that she had studied the rulebook insanely closely.

He followed Ushas and Millennia further away from the building, tuning out whatever chit-chat they were going on about. He figured that it was probably just some gossip that he didn’t care about anyway; he rarely talked to or about anyone outside of the Deca if he could help it.

“Where are we going?” he asked, as he glanced over his shoulder. The whole area around them was a wash of red and orange and Theta wondered if he would ever see a place with a wider variety of colors. He hoped that he would.

Millennia shrugged. “Wherever the wind blows,” she said. She stepped over a log and pulled her light gray jacket tighter around arms. “There are a lot of really pretty things to see out here.”

“No, there isn’t. Gallifrey is not that word.”

“You mean pretty?”

“Yeah, that.”

“Oh, don’t be such a Prydonian,” said Ushas. “Just because everyone around you hates using nice adjectives doesn’t mean that you have to hate them too. This is a pretty place and you are going to say it.”

“No.”

“Say it.”

“No.”

“Come on,” Millennia prodded.

“No!”

“Say it!”

“Fine. Gallifrey is, sometimes, kind of a pretty place,” he said, both his eyes and tone filled with resentment. He turned his eyes towards the ground when Ushas and Millennia burst into laughter. He thought that he had heard them say multiple phrases, but he couldn’t make out what they said. He narrowed his eyes when Ushas finally caught her breath.

“Oh, my god!” she cried. “I never thought that I would hear you say ‘pretty’!”

“Shut up.”

Ushas crossed her arms. “Make me.”

Theta reached his arm up and whipped it towards her face at high a high speed before stopping and retracting it. He sighed and dropped it against his arm. “It’s not worth it,” he said. “I could easily get you but then everyone would find out and I would go through the rest of school being called Mysoginist Theta. Revenge isn’t worth that.”

“So, you’re not going to get back at me because you’re afraid of being called a name?” She rolled her eyes. “God, Thete. How arrogant can you be?”

“You would be surprised.”

“I don’t think I would. I think that I’ve seen all the cockiness and arrogance of all of Gallifrey just in your eyes alone. And don’t even say what you’re thinking because I am including myself within the statement ‘all of Gallifrey’.”

“Please,” he scoffed. “There are definitely people out there that are more arrogant than me. Take Magnus, for example.”

“He’s not that arrogant. It just fits his personality better, so he doesn’t seem like a total asshole when he says cocky stuff.”

“Yeah? But somehow, whenever I say stuff like that, I sound like a total d—”

Millennia stepped in between them, cutting off their argument before it could turn into a whole fight. “Shut up, both of you,” she snapped. “This is supposed to be a fun day, remember? So, quit making it into something else.”

“Fine.” Ushas smiled at Theta. “Just to lift the mood a bit, how about you say ‘pretty’ again?”

Theta narrowed his eyes. “That’s it,” he said. “Fuck Misogynist Theta. You are going down, you asshole.”

“Language, child. You’re not old enough to say bad words like that yet.”

“We’re the same age!”

Ushas smirked and tapped the side of her head cockily. “But alas, I am five-and-a-half months older.”

“Don’t you _dare_ use that one on me, Ushas.” He jabbed a finger in her direction.

“Stop fighting!” Millennia shouted. “I shouldn’t have to say it more than once! Let’s just go look around, all right? We can do it quietly. That means no arguing and no fighting, so if you haven’t got anything nice to say then just don’t say anything at all, right?”

Theta nodded. “Fine. Sorry, Ushas.”

“It’s all right,” she said. “I know that you have a very short temper.”

Despite her words, her tone sounded almost murderous to Theta, which was why he chose not to comment on the fact that she didn’t apologize to him. It was just like Millennia had said, after all—they were there to have fun, not to fight and argue.

“Yeah, we both do.”

Ushas frowned. “I do not have a short temper. I am incredibly calm and patient.”

Theta couldn’t stop himself from bursting out into laughter, his face turning slightly pink from a lack of oxygen. “Oh, my god!” he cried, nearly doubled-over with giggles. “That was the best joke I have ever heard in my entire life!”

“That’s it. I’m going to kill you, Theta Sigma!”

He yelped and ran off back towards the Academy, Ushas keeping right on his tail. Millennia sighed while she watched them run off. Their day of fun was over, she supposed. Not that it had ever really begun in the first place.

//

“Millennia! Thank Rassilon you’re here. We’re having a crisis.”

She looked up from her homework, her gray eyes landing on the freckled gaze of the lanky boy standing over her. “And what am I supposed to do about it?” she asked, as she tucked her pencil behind her ear.

“It’s a romance crisis,” Drax explained.

“Ooh, you fancy a girl?”

Jelpax rolled his eyes. “It’s not him, you dimwit. We’re talking about Vansell.”

“Wait, Vansell?” Her head snapped to face Vansell, her hair whipping around her neck with force. Millennia’s eyes were widened in shock. “You’ve got a crush on someone? Is it a girl?”

“What the hell kind of a question is that?” he snapped. “I don’t like anyone and even if I did, of course it would be a girl.”

“Sorry.” Millennia held up her hands in defense and adjusted the fluffy bed pillow that had fallen on her back. “It’s just that you’ve never talked about anything romance-related ever. Like, seriously. Not once. I don’t know what your sexuality is.”

“From this point on, assume ace.”

“You’re not ace,” said Drax, as he wrapped one long, thin arm around his friend, “and you’re going to go out with that girl.”

“Fine.” He yanked away from the embrace and stepped back to look at Drax straight in the eyes. “I’ll go out with her if you can tell me what her name is.”

The room was silent for several seconds before Drax groaned. “Oh, dammit! You know that I’m bad with names!”

Vansell smirked. “That’s why I did it,” he said.

“Okay, guys, can you just explain why you needed to come bother me?” asked Millennia. “I don’t mean to be short with you, but I’ve had a long day and from the looks of it, there’s no real crisis. I don’t think Vansell is even interested in anyone.”

“That’s just it,” said Jelpax. He shifted slightly when Drax wrapped an arm around him and leaned on his shoulder but didn’t pull away like Vansell had. “He does need your help. He needs your help realizing that he _does_ want to go out with this girl. If you were there, then you would understand. He was totally checking her out and whether or not he claims to be ace, I know what I saw, and he can’t deny it.”

Vansell rolled his eyes. “That’s just complete crap. I can deny anything that I want to, and I will not hesitate to do so.”

“Which is why we need your help.” Drax sighed and pushed his fluffy, light brown bangs away from his eyes. “He’s completely hopeless. He’s so deep into this ridiculous denying that he actually believes he has no interest in the hot girl that was hitting on him.”

“Hot girl? Really? It was just some random girl from my mathematics class.”

“Damn, I wish I could remember if that was the class you have together. It would be so satisfying to bust you on a mistake like that.”

Vansell shrugged. “Your loss. Try to remember next time.”

“I do try to remember. It’s just hard to figure out what you’ll need to know later on.”

“Can you guys both just stop bickering?” Jelpax snapped. He crossed his arms, his brown eyes narrowed as he glared at Vansell and turned to give Drax a look. “We came in here to ask Millennia for advice, not to force her to listen to your arguing.”

Drax nodded and pulled away from Jelpax, who immediately stood up straighter once he was free of the extra weight on his shoulders.

“You’re right,” said Drax, as he sat down at the foot of Ushas’s bed. He looked over at Millennia expectantly. “All right, Mil, what have you got for us?”

Millennia took a deep breath and bit her lip slightly as she contemplated the situation. “Vansell, if you’re really interested in this girl, then I definitely think that you should ask her out. However, if you’re not interested in her and these two—” she gestured to Drax and Jelpax “—are just making you do this, then don’t ask her out.”

“God, is that all you’ve got?” Drax scoffed and shook his head. “I could have told him that!”

“Sorry, but it’s all that I’ve got. This isn’t exactly a difficult situation. Not unless you’ve left out a lot of details, which I don’t think you have.” She shrugged. “Now, if that’s all that you needed, can you go? I really do have a lot of homework to do.”

“Fine,” said Jelpax. “Come on, you two.”

Drax followed him first, waving to Millennia briefly before reattaching to Jelpax’s shoulder and walking out the door with him.

Vansell smirked as he strode out of the room, only seconds behind them. If even Millennia couldn’t find a good reason for him to go out with the girl, then no one would be able to convince him to do it, which meant that all he had to do was get rid of Drax and Jelpax.

//

“Ew, this is so gross,” said Theta. He gagged slightly when he took a bite of his breakfast, then swallowed it like a rock in his throat. It was unclear exactly what he was eating, but he thought it to be some kind of pancakes. He had asked the lunch lady, but ever since Drax tied her to a tree a few years earlier she had taken a disliking to the Deca, which made her refuse to answer him. “Can we not just have something decent to eat for one day?”

“Maybe if you would stop complaining about it then you would realize that we have more important things to worry about, rather than what we’re putting in our stomachs.” Ushas scoffed and shook her head. Her chin was tilted upwards in a slight symbol of superiority, which annoyed Theta to his very core. “Think about classes, not food.”

“Oh, shut up. You know that you hate the food just as much as I do.”

“I never said that I didn’t. I just said that you shouldn’t waste all of your time complaining.”

“This is the first time that I’ve complained about the food all year!” Theta snapped. “I’ll admit that it’s not the first time ever, but it’s still the first time in a very long while.”

“Sure. That’s believable.”

“Yeah, just about as believable as you claiming that you’re better than the rest of us. Newsflash: you’re not.”

Ushas clapped a hand over her chest, feigning offense. “Ouch!” she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “What a horrible thing to say. I would agree that I’m not better than all of you in every way, but if you were to pick ten, I would probably be better at nine out of ten items.”

“Not if I deliberately picked things that I knew you were bad at,” Theta deadpanned, his annoyed, hazel eyes staring into Ushas’s.

“Can you guys just shut up?”

Theta and Ushas both whipped their heads around to look for who had spoken. Magnus was not shy about revealing himself.

“No one cares who’s better,” he said, “just eat your damn breakfast. Or don’t,” he added, shooting a look at Theta, who just rolled his eyes in response.

“You just saying that because you think that _you’re_ the best at everything and you want us to say it but you don’t really want to get involved in our stupid argument.”

“I never said that.” Magnus made a face. “When have I ever said that I’m the best?”

Koschei, who was sitting beside Theta, snorted, but he didn’t speak. Theta smirked, knowing that they were thinking the same thing, but Magnus did the opposite. He looked down the table to where his friend was sitting and crossed his arms defensively.

“Have something to add there, Koschei?” he asked, a single eyebrow raised in curiosity.

He shook his head. “No. Just that you say that all the freaking time. Even if it’s not explicitly stated, you certainly imply it.”

“What are you trying to say?”

“Honestly?” Koschei let out a breath. “I think that you have a massive superiority complex, my friend.”

“Superiority complex?” Magnus repeated, dumbfounded. “You think that I have a superiority complex? Me?”

“You’re right. I don’t think, I know.”

He shook his head, then pulled his hair back behind his ear. “You’re interpreting me the wrong way. That or you’re trying to say something else and getting the phrase wrong like a moron.”

“Look, I know what I’m saying. I believe that you have a hell of a superiority complex. That’s all.”

“And what I’m saying is that I am superior. It’s not a superiority complex if I actually am superior.” Koschei didn’t respond, which only seemed to aggravate him more. “Why are you looking at me like that?” he asked.

Koschei shrugged. “No particular reason. It’s just that you’re a dumbass and this is the look that I give dumbasses when they say dumbass things.”

“Don’t mock your superiors.”

“Would you two shut up?” Ushas snapped. “Good lord, your argument is even dumber than ours.” She gestured to Theta. “If we can’t argue about stupid stuff at this table then you can’t argue about stupid stuff either.”

“I can argue about anything that I want,” said Magnus. “I’m superior, remember?”

There was not a drop of blood in Koschei’s body that found the comment amusing. He gave Magnus a blank stare and shook his head slowly. He hoped that he was coming off as if he was judging Magnus, rather than trying to come up with a response. Luckily for him, no one seemed to catch on to what he was doing, and he got away with it. Or, he thought, until he noticed the smirk on Theta’s face. Well, at least only one person noticed.

“Anyway,” said Ushas, effectively ending whatever conversation may or may not have been starting between Magnus and Koschei. She pushed her brown hair behind her ears and straightened out her back. “Let’s get back to my argument. Theta, what were we bickering about?”

“I have no idea,” he answered, and he meant it.

//

Theta was feeling particularly down after emotional detachment class, which he found ironic, considering he had spent an entire hour working on controlling said emotions. He wasn’t exactly sure why he was feeling the way he was, but it wasn’t something that he could shake off and it was driving him crazy.

“Hey, Thete.”

Mortimus had jogged down the hall to catch up to Theta, then slowed his stride to walk beside him. Theta found it strange. They had been taking the class together for years, but he couldn’t remember Mortimus ever talking to him afterward until that day.

“What’s going on?” he asked.

“Nothing, really,” Theta answered. “Just trying to get Borusa’s voice out of my head.”

“Not true. You’re feeling insecure because of your fight with Ushas, right?”

It wasn’t until Mortimus spoke that Theta realized that was the reason he was feeling down. “Uh, I guess.” He shrugged. “I don’t really know why, though. I mean, it’s not like we’re even really mad at each other. It’s just petty stuff, you know?”

“Yeah.” He nodded. “You just don’t like conflict.” Mortimus paused and took a moment to scan over Theta’s face. “And you’re feeling unsure of yourself because of something that she said to you? Yeah, thought so.”

Theta didn’t know what to say. Mortimus was right about everything that he had said—of course he was. He always was. He had never said anything about a person that had ended up being wrong. Frankly, it was pretty creepy, but no one would ever say that to him. Except for Magnus, obviously.

“So anyway,” said Theta, in an attempt to cut him off before it was too late. “Opinions on the homework?”

“Honestly?” Mortimus made a face. “You can just shoot me right now.”

//

Vansell spotted Esa before Drax and instantly decided that he was not going to let him see her. He was not in the mood to listen to the girl’s supposed flirting, nor to hear Drax babble on about how Vansell was meant to go out with her. So, before Drax could see her, Vansell grabbed him by the arm and brought him over to the window.

“Dude look at that!” he said, pointing out of the window. Of course, he wasn’t actually pointing at anything, but he had to distract Drax somehow.

“What?” Drax was turning his head all around but saw nothing of interest out the window. He made a face. “I must have forgotten my contacts this morning,” he said, “because whatever you’re seeing, I’m not.”

“Oh. Well, we better go get them then.”

He immediately regretted saying that, as it caused Drax to turn around and allowed him to spot Esa, who was walking towards them. Drax glanced back at Vansell and raised an eyebrow.

“Ah, I get it now,” he said, crossing his arms. “Go talk to her.”

Vansell whimpered. “Fine.”

He wouldn’t have agreed except for the fact that Esa had already seen them and was walking over to see them. He waved lamely at her when she came up to him.

“Hey,” he said.

“Hi, Vansell,” Esa beamed. “I can’t believe that I ran into you here! What a coincidence, right?”

“Well, not really. I mean—ow!” He rubbed his side where Drax had elbowed him. “Sorry, I meant yeah. Yeah, it is a weird coincidence that we met in the same school that we both attend every day in the same hallway that we both walk down every day.” Vansell winced when Drax hit him again. For having virtually no muscles, he was surprisingly strong.

“So, anyway, I was wondering if maybe you would like to hang out sometime?” she asked.

“He would love to,” Drax interrupted, before Vansell was even able to get a syllable out.

“Actually, I’m really busy right now,” said Vansell, sending a side-glare towards Drax. “Sorry. Thanks for the offer though.”

She shrugged. “Maybe some other time.” Though she acted as if it was no big deal, Vansell could tell that her shoulders had dropped, and her bright blue eyes had lost their shine. He didn’t care too much. “See you around.”

Esa had barely turned her back before Drax slapped Vansell with the back of his hand. “What was that, you moron?” he demanded, his eyes narrowed.

Vansell did not flinch. “Please don’t hit me again when I say this, but I’m just not interested in her, okay? She’s not my type.”

“What?” he gaped. “That hot piece of ass isn’t your type? What, are you gay or something?”

“You’re asking me?”

The retort threw Drax for such a unexpectedly wild loop that it took him several seconds to regain his composure. “What?” He shook his head. “Anyway, that girl has got to be the hottest chick roaming these halls. Blond hair, blue eyes, hourglass figure, what the hell more do you want?”

“Uh, maybe someone with a personality?” He rolled his eyes. “Look, Drax. You can fuck her if you want, but I’m just not interested.”

Drax made a face. “Nah, she’s not really my type.” He shook his head and stuffed his hands into his pockets. Vansell was almost shocked that he was able to say such a thing after his earlier argument about her beauty. “That’s why I’m going to get _you_ to go on a date with her. I don’t care if you say that you’re not interested either, because I know that it’s not true. As soon as you go out with her, you’re going to realize how great she is. Maybe it’ll even break you out of this, uh…” He paused, searching for the right word. “…ace, thing,” he finished, a slightly puzzled expression on his face.

“That would have been highly offensive had I not been joking when I said that.”

“I don’t know whether to apologize or not.”

“Don’t. I don’t care.”

“Okay.” There was a long silence between the pair before he went on. “Anyway, can we go now? We have to tell Jelpax what you just did.”

“And also, that you hit me like six times.”

“It was closer to three. Now come on.”

He grabbed Vansell by the wrist and dragged him down the hall, taking him to another conversation that Vansell most definitely did not want to be a part of.

//

“Mortimus?”

Rallon walked up to his friend when he spotted him in the hall, staring intently in front of him while scribbling on a notepad. On a normal day Rallon wouldn’t have gone up to him, but he recognized the notepad as having been the one he used the day before to “observe” him, and he was watching a girl in front of him.

“Oh, hey.” Mortimus didn’t look over at him but continued to stare straight ahead. “Did you need something from me? ‘Cause I’m kind of in the middle of something right now.”

“Yeah, I actually wanted to stop you from doing whatever it is that you’re doing right now. You’re being a creeper again, Mort.”

He shook his head. “No, I’m not. I’m just acting on my curious impulses. There’s clearly something bothering Kaela up there and I want to know what it is. Now, I’ve managed to narrow it down by the way that she’s reacting to the situation, but I don’t know exactly who was involved in—”

“Okay, stop. Just stop.” Rallon held up a hand to signal to him. “You shouldn’t know that stuff, and I don’t want to know it either. At all. So, stop. Please. It’s none of your business.”

“Maybe it’s none of _your_ business,” said Mortimus, adjusting his stride to keep up with the girl in front of him, “but I’ve been sitting behind Kaela in language arts for several years now. I think I’m entitled to know if she’s having an emotional crisis, and what it’s about.”

“No, you’re not.” He shook his head as he attempted to figure out what exactly was wrong with Mortimus that made him think it was okay. “Do you even know anything about this girl?”

He shrugged. “Yeah. We’ve talked. Once. When she needed my notes because she was sick the day before. But we talked that one time and that’s really all you need to establish a connection. See, the thing with first impressions is that—”

“I know. You’ve told me this before, and I still don’t care anymore than I did back then. So just push past that and try to explain to me why exactly you think it’s okay to stalk this girl that you don’t even really know. I mean, I know that you’re thick, but you’re not actually so thick that you think this is okay, right?”

“Well, I mean, I can be really thick sometimes, but I think that you’re looking at this from a different perspective than me. See, you’re thinking it’s an invasion of privacy, but it’s not. I’m not going to use this information against her, or for any kind of benefit, I’m just using it to enhance my sense of  intuition. In theory, she’ll never even know that I’ve got this information. Same thing was supposed to happen when I was taking notes on your study habits. Of course, you ended up noticing me, and at this point, she’s almost definitely overheard us.”

Rallon nodded. “That was kind of the point. I need to warn her about stalkers like you. Even if you’re not intentionally releasing that information, it’s personal. What if it got out? You could ruin her life, Mortimus. Her private life just isn’t any of your business, no matter how you decide to phrase it.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” He waved a hand around in the air dismissively. “Can you just go away now? Her friend just showed up and I think that I can get more information through her, but if you keep standing here talking about her then it’s going to look suspicious.”

“Fine,” said Rallon, “I’ll go. Just think about what I said, okay? You don’t have to remember all of it, just think twice before you start doing something like this next time. You might think it’s a good idea but it’s not great to be the person on the other side.

“Mm hm. Yeah. I gotcha. Go away.”

Rallon sighed and turned around to head back to his dorm room. It was quite obvious that he wasn’t going to talk any sense into Mortimus that way. He was going to have to come up with some other plan to get him to calm down—one that started out on a smaller scale.

But what could that be? He decided to think about it on the way back to his room. After all, the sooner Mortimus stopped creeping on people, the better.

//

Koschei didn’t see Magnus when he walked into the room. In fact, he hadn’t even heard the door open, nor the sound of it closing. How Magnus had manged to enter his dorm room that silently was a mystery to Koschei and it was one that he was fairly certain he would never find the answer to—at least, not in that life.

“Hey, Koschei,” said Magnus, as he took a seat in Koschei’s desk chair.

Koschei jumped nearly a foot off of his bed. He had not been expecting to hear anyone speak because, as previously mentioned, Magnus had practically floated through the door. “Uh, Magnus. Hi. What the hell are you doing in here?”

He shrugged. “I was just passing by, and I thought that I might see if you need any help from a superior.”

“Why would I need help? And you are not superior. Would you quit hanging on to that stupid conversation? It’s in the past. Just forget that I ever said anything.”

“No. No, I won’t. Do you know why?” He didn’t give Koschei a chance to come up with a response. “Because I am superior. A superiority complex can only happen when you aren’t actually superior, and I am. That’s it. I am superior to you and I want you to admit to it.”

“Fine.” Koschei crossed his arms. “Prove to me that you are, in fact, superior, and I’ll admit it.”

Magnus made a face. “How am I supposed to prove it? It’s not like there’s a list of people superior to you.”

“I don’t know. It’s up to you to find out. Take all the time you want. Just don’t talk to me anymore.”

Koschei was more than a little bit happy when Magnus did not respond, and he hoped that the silence would last more than just a few minutes. It didn’t.

“I have superior grades,” he said, before Koschei had even gotten a chance to return to his handheld game.

“True.” Despite how much he wanted to deny the statement, Koschei knew that he couldn’t. It would be a lie to say that his were in any way better than his friend’s. “I still think that you need a better point, though. That just means that you’re superior to me academically, not overall, and we’re looking for a general thing here.”

Magnus fell silent again as he thought about what else to say. Koschei hoped that it would take him longer than the first time. It did, and the silence began to unnerve Koschei. The lack of ideas from his friend only further convinced him that he was correct, which was why he sighed and dropped his gaming device onto the table beside his bed.

“All right, now that that’s been settled, how about we focus on the other part of a superiority complex?”

“What?”

“You know. About how you act like you’re superior because you feel like a failure. You want to tell me what you’re bad at? It might help me prove that I’m the superior one.”

He made a face. “I don’t feel like a failure. Why would I feel like a failure? And more importantly, why would I help you prove that you’re superior to me?”

“I don’t know.” Koschei shrugged. “Why would you?”

“I wouldn’t.” He shook his head a and scoffed. “You are a complete dumbass, Koschei. You know that?”

“You tell me daily.”

“That’s why.” He whipped around and walked back to the door. “You have fun with your stupid game, dumbass.”

Despite Magnus’s rude tone, Koschei didn’t feel insulted, nor angry. It was quite typical of him to react that way, and in fact, Koschei had been trying to illicit that response. He knew exactly the right buttons to push to get him to go away.

That was why he smiled to himself as soon as the door was closed. At last he could play Tetris in peace.

//

“What are you guys even going on about?”

Theta and Ushas cut off their overlapping arguments when Mortimus spoke up. They hadn’t even realized he sat down at the lunch table with them until he said that, and they turned to look at him. Neither of them spoke, however, as they had no answer to his question.

“I think that last one was about cat hair or something?” he said.

Once again, neither of them said anything back. It was clear to him that neither Theta nor Ushas even knew what they were on about. The whole thing was just about proving the other one wrong.

“All right, guys. What is this really about?”

Ushas spoke first, cutting off Theta when he opened his mouth. “I’m just tired of Theta thinking that he’s right all the time,” she said, tapping her fork against the cream-colored tabletop. “You might not realize it, since you’re not around him as much, but it gets really annoying sometimes.”

“Please.” Theta scoffed. “I think we both know what this argument is actually about.”

“Well then,” said Mortimus, “you clearly have different reasons for this argument, and I suggest we fix that before you argue over that as well.” He turned to Theta. “Care to share your perspective on the situation? And please, don’t interrupt him before he’s finished, Ushas.”

Theta wasted no time with his response. “She made me say pretty!”

“That’s what this is about?” she laughed. “You’re mad because I made you say a word? Well, newsflash, Thete: words cannot be gendered!”

“Then why did you call me Misogynist Theta?” he asked, as he crossed his arms.

“You called yourself that, you idiot.”

“Oh. Well, you still made me that.”

“You were the one who caused all of that! I never said that you had to be anything!”

Mortimus made a face. He had lost track of what they were discussing, and was more confused than ever, which made it difficult to analyze the situation. He hadn’t been on either side of the argument at the beginning, and it was suddenly clear why; it was nearly impossible to even tell what the two sides were fighting over.

“Okay, children, let’s sort this out, yeah?” said Mortimus, cutting them off. He stood up from his seat and scooted closer to them, leaving his food behind. “Theta, I want you to punch her in the nose. And Ushas, you don’t move. You get to punch him next.”

Ushas opened her mouth to question Mortimus’s method, but she didn’t manage to finish her sentence before Theta agreed and his fist collided with her face. She quickly retaliated with a blow aimed near the top of his nose, but he didn’t fight back after that.

“ _God_ , that felt good!” Theta breathed. “I don’t feel so mad anymore.”

“Actually, me neither,” said Ushas. Her face held a look of content that Mortimus had never seen on her before. Hitting Theta must have truly relaxed her.

Mortimus smiled. “Good. Now, bug off, please. I have lunch to eat and Theta, I would recommend you do something about that bloody nose before you ruin your robes.”

//

“Jelpax!”

Drax burst in through their dorm room’s door, pleased for once that he had forgotten to lock it before he had left. Not that he usually remembered.

“Jelpax!” he called again.

“What?” asked Jelpax. He placed his pen down on top of his notebook and leaned back in his chair. He took a quick look at the two people in front of him before he spoke, his brow furrowed. “Okay, actually, the question should be, ‘why are you trying to rip Vansell’s arm off?”

“What?” Drax looked down at his hand, which was clutching Vansell’s wrist tightly. He let go quickly. “Oh, uh, no. I was just trying to get him to come in here. He wouldn’t follow me willingly, so I had to drag him along. Long story.”

“I don’t want to know.”

“I’m going to tell you anyway.” Drax grinned and sat down on Jelpax’s bed, pushing a red, plaid quilt out of the way as he did so. “It’s about Esa.”

Jelpax’s eyes widened with interest. “Spill.”

Drax took his time telling the story and seemed to exaggerate as many details as he could. It was so far off from the truth at some points that Vansell had to interrupt him and explain to Jelpax what happened. That annoyed him—he felt that he shouldn’t have been there at all, let alone having to correct everything Drax was saying.

“…so yeah. That happened,” he finished. He took a deep breath and scanned Jelpax’s face for any signs of a reaction, but it was blank. Several moments passed before he finally spoke.

“Huh,” he said thoughtfully.

“What?” asked Drax. “‘Huh’ what?”

“Nothing. I just didn’t think that Vansell could be that unbelievably stupid.”

Vansell’s jaw dropped. Out of all the things Jelpax could have said, he didn’t think that was even a possibility.

“Excuse me?” he snapped. “ _I’m_ the stupid one? _Me_?”

“That is what I just said, yes.” Jelpax nodded slowly, as if he was some kind of an idiot. “Would you like me to expand on my statement? I could add some adjectives in there; I just don’t think that you would like them.”

“You shut up.”

“Okay, but for how long? Because I really have to help you figure out what you’re going to say to fix things with Esa.”

Vansell glared at Drax when he nodded in agreement. “Guys,” he said, “when are you going to get this through your thick skulls? I am not going to go on a date with her. I don’t even like her! That’s what I just told you like a half an hour ago.”

“Did you?” Drax feigned ignorance. “I guess that I didn’t hear that.”

“That’s probably because you were too busy making really sexist comments.” Drax’s face went red and he turned away. The look of confusion which appeared on Jelpax’s face was almost amusing, and Vansell felt the need to explain. “Something he decided to leave out of the story,” he added.

“Come on,” said Jelpax, shaking his head. “How do you always leave out the most interesting bits?”

Drax shrugged, not turning his gaze back to his friends. “I guess I just try not to make myself look like a sexist asshole?”

“Right.” Vansell nodded along sarcastically. “Because it’s not like anyone else knows what you said.”

“God, I hate sarcasm,” Drax huffed. He whipped around to face them again, and the flush on his cheeks had changed from embarrassment into anger. “All right, if I could apologize to the entire female race then I would, but I can’t. You, however, can apologize to the one girl that you hurt, and you can ask her to actually go out with you.”

“Why? Why are you guys so fixated on this? If you’re so obsessed with this whole stupid dating thing then why don’t you just do it?”

Drax shrugged. “Not interested right now. I just want to meddle in your love life.”

“Yeah, same.” Jelpax nodded in agreement. “So, are you going to talk to her willingly or are we going to have to drag you there?”

“I guess I’ll have to go willingly. I really would prefer not to be dragged.”

“Okay. Let’s go.” Drax smiled as he rose from the bed. “You’ll thank us for this at your wedding.”

Vansell sighed as he followed the two of them out the door. He knew that he was never going to go on a date with Esa, despite how convinced the other two seemed that it would.

//

Millennia giggled. She was sitting in the front row of Borusa’s classroom during the Deca’s weekly meeting, while Drax told the story of exactly what had happened between Vansell and Esa. Jelpax had jumped in more than once to correct details and occasionally grammar, but Drax was on his own telling the story for the most part, and the way he was explaining it—ultra-dramatically, in typical Drax fashion—was highly amusing.

“Okay,” she said, when he suddenly stopped talking. “What happened after all of that?”

“Oh, no.” Drax shook his head, his pale, freckled cheeks flushing pink. “I will not repeat what happened next.”

“All right then.” She turned her head to look at Jelpax who, as always, was sitting in the back corner. “Care to tell us, Jel?”

Jelpax looked surprised. He sat up in his seat and shook his head. “God, no. I’m never going to tell what happened either and don’t even think about asking Vansell. There’s a reason he hasn’t left his room since it happened.”

“Oh!” said Rallon. He nodded. “That’s why he wouldn’t look at me last night? Well, in case anyone is wondering, he’s not sick. He’s just been hiding underneath his blankets since he got back yesterday. I hope no one wanted to talk to him anytime soon because it doesn’t seem like he’s coming out.”

“Aw, crap,” Mortimus muttered. “He was my lab partner! What am I going to do now?”

“I can help you with your homework stuff,” Ushas beamed.

“No way. I am not letting you take over one of my assignments again. Not this time and not any time in the future. I’d rather just switch my project with someone else’s.”

She rolled her eyes. “Your loss,” she said. “Anyway, in case anyone was wondering, Theta and I have finally settled our dispute.”

“That’s right,” said Theta, smiling proudly. “No more arguing for us. You’re probably all wondering how we ended up resolving it, and I would love to explain, but I don’t really feel like it, so Ushas, you go.”

“All right.” She stood up from her seat, smoothed out her robes with her hands, and walked up to the front of the room. She stopped in front of Borusa’s desk. “So, we were arguing again, just like we have been for days, except this time we ended up stopping early because someone showed up and interrupted us. I won’t name drop—”

“It was me,” said Mortimus.

“—but he pointed out how extremely stupid and petty we were being, and that was it. See, maybe Theta is okay with being stupid and and petty, since he acts like that all the time, but I would prefer never to be called either of those words.”

“And so that’s that,” Theta concluded. “It’s a really stupid reason to stop arguing if you ask me, but I guess that we all have different reasons to do things. And yes, Ushas, I am stupid and petty.” He smirked at her, prompting her to roll her eyes once more.

“Yeah, exactly.” Ushas inhaled sharply. “Well? Does anyone else have anything to say?”

“I do, actually,” said Rallon. He waited for the shock in the room to wear off before he continued. It wasn’t often that he spoke up at meetings. “All right, so I just want to clarify that this isn’t just out of the blue, it’s because of a few weird things that happened this week and numerous ones in the past.” He took a deep breath, then turned around to face the person he wanted to address. “Mortimus,” he said, “any chance you can stop being so creepy?”

“What?” Mortimus furrowed his brow.

“Well, it’s just that—”

“You are creepy as all hell,” said Magnus, cutting him off, “and it would be really great if you would stop butting in your opinions where they’re not wanted. Just because you can read people like a book doesn’t mean that you should, and it certainly doesn’t mean that they want you to do so.”

Mortimus looked surprised, despite his entire reputation depending solely on just how creepy and abnormal he was. “Does it really bother everyone that much?” he asked, glancing around the room.

Everyone murmured in agreement. “So, with that, can you just promise that you’ll try not to be such a creep anymore?” asked Rallon. “I mean, you don’t have to like, swear or promise or draw blood or anything like that, you just have to say you won’t be a creep around us anymore.” He gestured around the room. “Creep on anyone outside of the Deca, just stop targeting those within.”

“All right.” He shrugged. “If it really bothers you all so much, I’ll stop doing it.”

“On behalf of all of us, thank you.”

“You’re welcome, I guess.”

The room fell silent after that, and once it became clear that no one else had anything to add, Ushas dismissed the meeting and they all went their separate ways. Koschei walked out with Theta, as he always did after the meetings, and they headed towards their first class, just like every other day.

Everything was, at that point, moving so normally that Koschei jumped nearly a foot into the air when he felt a hand lock around his wrist. He spun around quickly and freed his hand. His face screwed up immediately, his expression showing exactly how he felt about the situation.

“Magnus?” He motioned for Theta to continue without him. “What do you want?”

He wasted no time answering. “You’re right,” he said.

“What?”

“About the other half of a superiority complex. The one that we weren’t properly addressing before.” He paused for a second, allowing Koschei a chance to respond, but he knew better than to jump to conclusions and allowed Magnus to continue. “I am superior to you, that won’t change, but that’s the only thing that I was trying to prove. I never said that I’m better than everyone.”

“Okay.” Koschei nodded. “I get it. Can we just let this go?”

Magnus ignored him. “You were right about the definition.”

“Dude, what are you talking about?”

“Remember what you said yesterday? When you told me to address the second half of the term?” Koschei nodded in agreement and he went on. “You were right,” he said. “I’m guilty as charged.”

He didn’t give Koschei a chance to respond that time. He turned around and headed off down the hall, leaving Koschei standing in silence behind him. Half of him wanted to run over to Magnus and ask him to elaborate, but he knew that he would never get him to speak.

He sighed and spun around to catch up with Theta. At least there was one person that would always wait for him.


	8. Actions Have Consequences

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mortimus goes on a date. Epsilon steals Ushas's science experiment. Drax learns that he's failing temporal theory.

“I’m descended from Rassilon, you know.”

Magnus rolled his eyes at his roommate. They had just come out of a history lesson in which they had learned some new facts about the famous Time Lord. As he was not particularly interested in the subject, Magnus hadn’t been paying as much attention as he should have been. However, according to the one-page quiz they had been given at the end of class, he still knew more than Mortimus did.

“You are not descended from Rassilon,” he argued.

“I am _so_ descended from Rassilon,” Mortimus said, crossing his arms. “You just won’t admit it because you’re jealous of me.”

“Jealous? I just found out that you think you’re descended from Rassilon less than a minute ago. How could I possibly be jealous about something that I just found out about? Especially considering it isn’t even true.”

“It _is_ true! Why do you think that I’m so good at psychology?” He didn’t give Magnus a chance to respond. “But seriously, it’s true. I even have proof, and I’ll show you if we go back to our room.”

“I don’t want to see your stupid proof,” said Magnus. “I want to go have lunch.”

“Fine. I’ll show you when classes are over.”

“Whatever.”

They were approaching the dining hall when a petite, blond, freckle-faced girl stepped in front of Mortimus, a nervous smile on her face. She adjusted her sleeves and stood up straighter, but still stood over half a foot shorter than the two boys in front of her.

“Hi,” she said, her voice soft. She extended her hand. “I’m Millicent, but most people call me Millie.”

“Uh, hey,” said Mortimus. He shook her hand quickly before retracting his own and rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m Mortimus. We have temporal theory together, right?”

She nodded. “Yes. You’ve seen me before, then?”

“A bit. I mean, we’ve never talked that before.”

“She knows that, you idiot,” Magnus muttered. He elbowed Mortimus in the side.

“Ow!” he exclaimed. “Sorry. Anyway, is there something that you needed, Millie?”

“Yeah. I was wondering if you’d like to go out sometime?”

Magnus laughed, and both Mortimus and Millie turned to look at him. “You were joking, right?” he said.

“No.” She shook her head. “I’d like to get to know Mortimus better.”

“Or at all.”

“Shut up, Magnus,” Mortimus snapped. He elbowed Magnus in the side just as he had before. If it hurt, Magnus didn’t show it. “I’d love to go out with you, Millie. When are you free?”

“Tomorrow night is good for me. What about you?”

“He’s free forever and always,” said Magnus, clapping his roommate on the back. Mortimus flinched. “Mortimus here doesn’t really have a life.”

“Okay, Magnus, now you’re just pissing me off.”

Millie spoke before Magnus could retaliate. “Um, so anyway, I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah, yes, of course.” Mortimus smiled. “And hopefully Magnus will not be making an appearance.” Magnus scowled at him. “See you later, Millie!” He waved to her as she walked into the dining hall. “God, I can’t believe you embarrassed me like that, Magnus.”

“Me?” He snorted. “All I did was help you out a bit. You were going to embarrass yourself somehow anyway. Not like it’s completely my fault.”

“Oh, shut up,” he snapped. He pushed past him into the dining hall. The day was not off to a good start, and he could already tell that it wasn’t going to get much better.

//

“So, effectively, just stepping on a butterfly could end up changing much more than just the butterfly’s life. If it was supposed to land on a cat’s nose, per se…”

Drax began to tune out his professor as she droned on about concepts that he didn’t understand. Temporal theory had always been a difficult class for him, to the point where he rarely listened when they began new concepts. He knew that he wouldn’t be able to make sense of it until Jelpax explained it to him anyway.

“…does anyone know why that is?” Professor Hinnera concluded. She placed her pointer stick down and sat in her chair. As always, Ushas’s hand shot up first, but she didn’t call on her. Mrs. Hinnera was not particularly fond of only one student supplying all the answers, even though she did like Ushas. “Anyone? No? How about Rallon?”

Rallon sank down into his seat. “Um, because the butterfly flapped its wings into the house instead of the garden?”

“It’s not always about the butterflies, Rallon, but yes, that’s a good answer. Because said butterfly made an impact on this person’s life, he will be forever changed, as will the world that he goes on to help. Now, what do you think would happen if this butterfly didn’t fly into his house that day? Someone else answer this time—and not you, Ushas.”

Jelpax raised his hand and she motioned for him to speak. “Professor, I believe that if this person was as important as you’re making him out to be, then if the butterfly hadn’t flown into his house and it had stayed in the garden, then he wouldn’t have gone on to make any impact in the world and it would be changed completely. Or rather, completely unchanged.”

“Very good answer, Jelpax. You’re doing a fantastic job today.”

“Professor!” Mortimus waved his hand frantically in the back of the classroom. Drax rolled his eyes; Mortimus barely knew more than Drax did about temporal theory. “I have another answer for that question, and no offense to my good friend Jelpax, but I think that it’s a better one.”

Mrs. Hinnera nodded. “Go on.”

“If the butterfly hadn’t gone into his house then he wouldn’t have made any impact on the world at all. And I’m talking like, _at all_. He wouldn’t have even spent any money after that. Because from what you’re saying about this fictional man, it sounds like he needed that butterfly for his very survival. If he hadn’t met that small, ugly creature, and been forever changed for the better, then I think he probably would have killed himself that day.”

“How in the world did you come to that conclusion?”

“Well, I just look at the details of the dude. He…”

Drax began to tune out the discussion again. He didn’t care, and he knew that most of what Mortimus had to say was based off assumptions. And, honestly, Drax didn’t understand what any of it had to do with temporal theory.

“Good explanation, Mortimus,” said Mrs. Hinnera, once he had finished. She stood up again and looked to the rest of the class. “Now, it’s not always about butterflies. It’s called that because it’s the simplest way to describe it, but it can mean anything ranging from one subject to the opposite.”

Drax still had no idea what she meant. He dropped his head onto his desk and sighed.

“Oh, are you bored, Drax?” she asked. “Perhaps you would like to explain exactly how the butterfly effect works?”

“No, thank you, miss.” He put on a smile. “I’m perfectly all right here.”

“Well, you won’t be if you don’t stay focused. Listen.”

By the time class was dismissed, Drax was just about running out the door to get away. However, he barely made it to the doorway before he heard his name called. He cursed under his breath, then spun around on his boot-covered heel and walked over to Mrs. Hinnera’s desk.

“Yes, professor?”

“We need to have a little chat, Drax. You—”

“I’m terribly sorry about my attitude today, miss. I know that I shouldn’t have done that. I’ve just had a lot on my mind recently and—”

She held up a hand to stop him, her several rings shining in the light. “Save it for the guidance counselor, Draxin. I’m not talking about your attitude. Everyone knows you’re a sass.” Drax smirked. “What I’m concerned about are your grades. You’re failing my class.”

“Oh?”

“Miserably. Do you even understand anything I’m trying to teach you?”

He bit his lip and ran a hand through his light brown hair, messing up his orderly bangs. “Yeah. A bit. I think.”

“You got a zero percent on the last test, Draxin.”

“Holy shit, that’s possible?!”

“Hey. Language.”

“I know, I know.” He rolled his eyes. “Anyway, I suppose you’ll want me to get a tutor then?”

She nodded, her golden hair only barely bouncing on her head. “Yes. You can either find one yourself—by tomorrow’s class—or I can appoint one for you.”

“I’ll find my own. I know some smart people.”

“Right. You’re friends with Ushas, aren’t you? Maybe you could ask her.”

He made a face and shook his head. “No. We don’t get on well. I’ll find someone else.”

“All right,” she sighed, “but you don’t have a lot of time to look. I expect you to get a passing grade on Friday.”

“Friday? That’s only days away!”

“Well, that’s when I’ll be quizzing you next. The class doesn’t revolve around you,” she said.

His dark green eyes opened wide, and his shoulder sagged. “But how am I going to learn it all so fast? I’m thirty years behind!”

“The quiz will be on the butterfly effect and paradoxes. That’s all you need to study.”

“Well, I guess I’d better get on it, then,” he said, rubbing his arm nervously.

Mrs. Hinnera nodded approvingly. “Yes, you better had. I’ll see you in class tomorrow, Draxin.”

Despite his frequent efforts to stay positive, Drax did not walk out of class with a smile on his face that day.

//

Ushas walked out of the science lab; her experiment still held tightly in her hands. The wooden box was almost completely sealed, but not quite, giving the plant enough air to breathe. Most of the other students had left their projects in the cabinet for the next class, but Ushas had a few things she wanted to try with it that evening so she took it with her.

On the way back to her dorm she was caught off guard by a noisy group of younger students and dropped her box. By the time the younger students were gone, she was certain that it must have been smashed. However, it looked to still be intact. She walked over to grab it, only to be beaten to it by someone else.

“Ooh,” said Epsilon, as he took the box into his hands. He lifted the lid and peeked inside. “This one is _much_ healthier than mine. I think I’m going to keep it. You hear that, planty? You’re mine now.”

He tucked the box under his arms and started to walk away. Ushas rolled her eyes and followed him.

“Epsilon,” she said, once she caught up to him, “that’s mine.”

He narrowed his eyes. “No, it isn’t. I found it.”

“Yeah, and I dropped it.”

“Exactly. You dropped it. As soon as it touched the floor it became public property. Since I was the first one to pick it up, it’s mine.”

“You are such an idiot. Just because I dropped it and you picked it up doesn’t automatically make it yours.”

“It does too.”

“Not.”

“Does too.”

“Does not! Now shut up and give me my project back.”

Epsilon crossed his arms and smiled mischievously. “No.”

“What do you mean ‘no’? Give it back!” She reached out to grab it, but Epsilon held it away from her.

“Whoa, what’s going on here?”

Ushas wasn’t sure whether to be relieved or even more frustrated when she heard Koschei come up behind her. He was an incredibly on-and-off person, which meant that he could be there to help her or hinder her severely just for the gags.

“Ushas thinks that I took her experiment.”

Luckily, this was not one of those days.

“She did write her name on it,” said Koschei. “Unless you two suddenly have identical handwriting and the same name, that is.”

Ushas rolled her eyes. “Of course not. That’s my experiment. Give it back, Epsilon.”

“You heard her, mate.” He crossed his arms. “Give it back.”

“Nah.” Epsilon shook his head. “I think that I’ll just keep it for a while. Catch you guys later!”

He tried to take off down the hall but slipped on the freshly-polished floor and dropped the box. He scooped it up as quickly as he could, then continued walking away.

“Epsilon!” Koschei snapped, chasing after him. “Where are you going?”

“To put this in my room,” he said. “Where do you think?” He opened the box and took a whiff, then made a face. “Ew. I don’t think Ummins is going to like me keeping this in there.”

“Who the hell is Ummins?”

Epsilon furrowed his brow. “Uh, my roommate?”

“Since when do you have a roommate?”

“Since the day that I got here. We all have roommates. You knew that, didn’t you?”

“Well yeah,” said Koschei, “you’ve just never mentioned him before.”

“Boys!” Ushas snapped, cutting them off. “Can we focus on the problem at hand?”

“What’s that?”

“That Epsilon stole my project.”

“Oh, yeah, about that…”

Epsilon didn’t wait around to finish the sentence. He ran off down the hall as fast as he could, leaving Ushas and Koschei behind to taste the dust from his shoes.

//

“She asked _you_ on a date?” Millennia repeated. “You’re absolutely sure of this?”

“Yes, Millennia, I’m sure,” he snapped. She had asked him several times at that point, as if she couldn’t believe someone had actually asked him out. He didn’t understand why she was so confused—someone had asked him out just a few weeks ago. What was her name again? “Stop asking.”

“Sorry,” she said. “It’s just that I really thought word would spread after the last time.”

“About what? I thought you said that I didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Correction: I said that you were being yourself. See, I don’t mean any offense by this, but the thing is, sometimes you can really be…”

“Oh, god.” Mortimus dropped down onto his bed and buried his face in the furry pink pillow below him. He didn’t mind being blinded by the fluff—it was difficult to watch Millennia sift through his clothes anyway.

“…a bit creepy,” she finished. She winced when she noticed the expression on Mortimus’s face. “Sorry! It’s just that there was a little bit of an invasion of privacy on that last date.”

“Invasion of privacy? How is that even possible? We never even went to her place. It’s not like I’m Vansell!”

“Oh, come on.” Millennia rolled her eyes jokingly. “Vansell doesn’t need to go to a girl’s place to be snoopy. He would look in her bag and coat pockets. If he ever even went on a date, that is.” She shrugged. “Anyway, your problem is that you did that thing where you started telling her everything about herself when you didn’t even ask her those questions yet.”

“I do not do that.”

“You always do that!”

Mortimus rolled his eyes. “Whatever. Can we just get back to what we were doing?”

“Of course.” Millennia nodded and continued to rummage through Mortimus’ closet. She made several disgusted expressions as she looked through his clothes, then one that looked close to vomiting when she glanced down at the floor. “You seriously need to clean this place out, Mortimus. You’re a borderline hoarder with this mess.”

He shrugged and threw the pillow off his head. It landed somewhere in the piles of clutter beside his bed “Yeah, yeah. I’ve started working on it tons of times before. I’ve just never finished it. And hey, I’m not a hoarder. I just keep all of my things in one place.”

Millennia looked around his bedroom and nodded in agreement. It was true that all his things were in one place—in fact, there was nothing on any of his shelves, nor his cabinets, or tables. Even his desk was nearly untouched. No wonder the red had always stood out on his walls—there was nothing to stand out against it.

“I still think you should reorganize everything,” she said. “You’ve got all this space—it seems like a waste to only use the floor to store your things.”

“Mm hm. Sure.” His disinterest was obvious. “Have you found anything besides t-shirts yet?”

“Yeah. School robes. Do you even own anything else?”

He laughed. “What’s the point? It’s a waste of money to buy something nice if I’m only going to use it every now and then.”

“What about when we start attending the end of term parties?” she asked. “Even if you wear the same thing every year, it still has to be something nice. In fact, I bet that you’ll even _want_ something.”

“Yeah, right,” he snorted.

“What’s in here?” asked Millennia. She pulled a zipped, black clothes bag off the rack and held it out for him to see.

“Don’t know. Open it.”

She unzipped the back, revealing a silky black tuxedo. It had no name or note on it, and Mortimus was completely confused on how it had even gotten there in the first place. He knew as a fact that he had never bought anything nice like that before, and there was no possible way that he would ever keep something he owned in a clothes bag—no matter how nice it was.

“Oh, you should wear this!”

Mortimus shook his head. “I don’t think so.”

“Please?” The smile on her face grew. “Millie will love it.”

“I don’t even know where it came from. I’m not going to wear something that might not even be mine.”

“It’s yours.”

“How do you know?”

“Because you probably just forgot. I mean, there’s so much stuff in here. Plus, the tag has your name on it.”

“Oh.” Mortimus nodded. “You know what? I think my mum gave that to me. It was my dad’s.” He squinted and hesitated. “No, it was my brother’s.” He made another face. “Or maybe it was my dad’s?”

Millennia shrugged. “Either way, it’s yours now. Wear it tomorrow night and Millie will fall in love with you the second she lays her eyes on it. I mean you.”

She tossed it on the bed next to Mortimus, then smiled at him and headed out the door. Mortimus groaned and flopped back into his pillow as soon as she was gone. He hated wearing his robes enough already—he couldn’t imagine having to wear a suit.

//

Once dinner time rolled around that evening, the Deca gathered at their usual table and began chatting. Koschei was the only one who noticed that Ushas was unusually silent, and he was fairly certain he was the only person who knew why.

“Any luck, Ushas?” he asked, looking across the table to her.

She shook her head. “He’s still got it.”

“Well, he’s right over there,” said Koschei. “You could sneak into his room and get it before he finishes his dinner. He’ll never even know.”

“No, Koschei. I don’t mean that it’s still in his possession, I mean that he is still holding onto it right now. Look.”

Ushas pointed across the large room at the table nearest the dumpster. Epsilon was sitting alone, a smile on his face as he bit into a hot wing. Her science experiment was sitting on his lap, the lid slightly ajar. She winced when a drop of hot sauce spilled onto the box.

“Oh, my god,” she groaned. She dropped her head into her hands. “He’s spilling hot sauce all over my poor plant.”

Theta shrugged. “At least it tastes good,” he said, before taking a bite of his own hot wings.

“Oh, shut up, Theta. This isn’t your problem.”

“I’ll go get it,” Koschei mumbled. Ushas shook her head before he had a chance to stand up.

“Not while it’s so close to the hot sauce,” she said. “You know how much of a klutz Epsilon is, and then putting you next to him? My experiment would be as good as ruined.”

“Oi! You calling me a klutz?”

“Yes.”

“Nonsense!” He threw his arms into the air, then crossed them against his chest. He pointed at Theta, who was sitting next to him. “He’s the clumsy one,” he said.

“Clumsy?” Theta gaped. He clapped a hand over his mouth in fake disbelief.

Koschei stuck his tongue out at him before turning back to Ushas. “So, what’s the game plan?”

Mortimus suddenly turned to look at them. “Game plan? What game? Can I play?”

Koschei rolled his eyes, and opened his mouth to speak, but Jelpax cut him off before he could do so. “There is no game,” he said, turning to look at them from the other end of the table. “I’m not sure what they’re talking about, but I’m pretty sure that he—” Jelpax gestured a slim arm towards Koschei “—meant to use it as a metaphor. Unless you’re planning on playing a game of football later?”

He raised an eyebrow. “You think this pencil would do anything that requires actually moving?” Koschei punched Theta playfully, who rubbed his arm. “See that? He couldn’t even take a fake punch. It would be impossible for him to win rugby.”

“I said football.”

“Just stop now,” Magnus muttered. “No one cares what game it is.”

“There is no game!” Ushas snapped. Her face was turning red. “He was talking about how we’re going to get my plant back from Epsilon, which I already said I didn’t want him getting involved in!”

“Whoa!” Koschei held up his hands in defense, a shocked and hurt expression on his face. “Slow down. You did not say that. You just told me to help you like, seven times. Not once did you say that you didn’t want me getting involved.” He crossed his arms and smiled mischievously. “You know, that makes me really want to get involved.”

“Don’t. I can get rid of him by myself. I’m not some damsel in distress.”

“You know,” Theta began, “this could be a great love story. Epsilon is the dragon, you’re the damsel, Kos is the… protagonist guy.”

“Sexy hero,” said Drax. He was sitting on the other side of the table, and somehow managed to stay silent up to that point. “You’ve got to get your terms right. Koschei would _definitely_ be the sexy hero. Not just some random protagonist guy.”

“…what?”

“Well, you know. That one really hot guy that’s always shirtless on the cover of magazines and movie posters. That guy is the hero in those stories. Don’t you read?”

The table was silent for several seconds before Koschei spoke. “Why are you so gay?”

Drax didn’t answer. He shrugged and turned his attention back to his meal, which he didn’t eat, but instead pushed around with his fork a bit. He gave up after a few seconds and leaned back in his seat uncomfortably, reaching around to snap at the rubber band on his right wrist.

Koschei watched him for a moment, almost ready to apologize for his ill-mannered joke, when Jelpax leaned in closer to Drax and whispered something to him. He nodded in response, and Koschei felt satisfied that Jelpax had resolved the situation. He turned back to Ushas.

“All right,” he said. “I’m going to get your project back from Epsilon. You can come or you can stay, but you’re coming with me.” He pointed at Theta, who groaned before standing up to follow him.

Ushas rolled her eyes and chased after them before they made it over to Epsilon. She didn’t trust them to get it back on their own—even if they managed to get it back, they would inevitably drop it on the floor or _something_ on their way back to her. Theta and Koschei usually had good intentions, but it was rare that the two of them actually did anything right.

“Ew, god!” She fanned the air by her nose when they approached Epsilon’s table. “It _reeks_ over here.”

Epsilon nodded and glanced down at the box on his lap. “I think it’s the plant,” he said.

“No, Epsilon,” said Theta, looking sideways at the trash bin. “I’m pretty sure that it’s the wheelie bin.”

“Wow, what a rude thing to say about a plant.”

“Speaking of which,” said Koschei, “give it back. Just because you found it on the floor doesn’t make it yours.”

“Does too,” he argued. “Finders, keepers. And besides, I’m going to take great care of this plant. I’ll never drop it like she did. I’m going to keep it with me forever.”

“Why?” asked Ushas. “It’s a plant.”

“Because I can’t keep it in my room.” He waited for a response for elaborating. “I was right before. Ummins doesn’t like the smell.”

“You know,” said Koschei, furrowing his brow, “I don’t think that there is an Ummins.”

“How dare you!” Epsilon slammed a hand down on the table in front of him. “Ummins is very real!”

“Yeah? Then where is he?”

Epsilon shrugged. “He doesn’t like to sit with me.” He took a bite of his food, then a long sip of soda. “He doesn’t think that I’m cool enough to hang out with, apparently. It’s a popular person thing, I guess.”

Ushas frowned. “Popular? How could he be popular? We’ve never even heard of him.”

“Ooh, I guess that he doesn’t like you, then.”

“Whatever. Just give me project back.”

Epsilon panicked when Ushas reached her arms out towards him to take the plant back. Right before she managed to get it, he grabbed a hot wing off of his plate and threw it at her face.

“Food fight!” he shouted.

She lurched back immediately, more than surprised by what he had done. She flipped his entire plate over his head, then tried again to grab the box, but he slid out of his chair and ran before she had a chance. Ushas tried to chase after him, but an all-out food war had started in the span of seconds and blocked her from getting away.

“Stop! Everyone stop right this instant!”

The room fell silent. No one was going to say no to the harsh voice that boomed across the echoing walls. Heavy footsteps were the only sound to be heard, and they got louder as they approached Theta, Ushas, and Koschei.

The trio groaned in unison when Borusa came up behind them, a scowl on his face.

//

“This is so gross.”

Rallon and Millennia were walking down the long, dark red hall together, both nearly dripping with hot sauce. Though it had only lasted for around a minute, the food fight had gotten extremely out of hand. The remaining members at the Deca’s table had all tried to keep their heads down, but unfortunately, most of them ended up being the main targets.

“I’m going to have to take, like, ten showers to get this out.” Millennia ran her hands through her shoulder-length blue hair in an attempt to get rid of some of the remaining sauce. “Maybe even more than that. Oh, this probably stains so bad!”

“Look on the bright side,” said Rallon, glancing down at his own robes. There was so much sauce on them that he couldn’t even tell where the dark red fabric ended, and the dark red sauce began. “Mine is stained far worse than yours.”

“Oh, I’m sorry! I’ve been so busy thinking about how bad _I_ look that I haven’t even thought about anyone else!”

“Well, I mean, I’m pretty sure that at this point we’re all just thinking about how nasty we are.” He sighed. “And I’m going to have to fight Vansell for the shower. This sucks.”

“Tell me about it.” Millennia groaned. “I must look so terrible right now.”

Rallon shook his head. “To be completely honest, I think you still look pretty cute, even with hot sauce all over your uniform and, uh—” he pulled a small chicken wing out of her hair and turned it over “—chicken wings in your hair.”

She giggled, and Rallon was glad that he had hot sauce all over his face to cover up his blush. “You don’t look too bad either, Rallon,” she said. “Hot sauce is a good look for you.” He laughed as they stopped in front of the door to her room. “Well, looks like I’m lucky. Ushas isn’t back yet.”

“That’s good.” He smiled. “Well, I’d better go before Vansell takes mine. See you tomorrow?”

“See you then.”

Rallon stared at the door to her room for a few seconds after she went in, grinning slightly to himself. He turned around to head back to his own room, then stopped and gasped, shocked by the sudden appearance of an entirely spotless Vansell leaning against the opposite wall.

“Hello, Rallon.”

“Hey, Vansell,” he said, as he attempted to catch his breath. “How did you get cleaned up so fast?”

“I didn’t get caught in the first place.” He shrugged and stepped away from the wall. “Walk with me.” Rallon did as he was told. “So, when are you going to ask her out?”

Rallon forced a chuckle. “I’m not going to ask her out.”

“Ooh, harsh,” said Vansell, stopping just outside of their dorm room. “I thought you liked her.”

“I do. I mean, not like that, though.”

“Lies.” He opened the door and gestured inside. “Go take a shower. She’ll never date you if you smell like that.”

Rallon rolled his eyes before heading inside to take a shower. He could argue more with Vansell after he got the stench of hot wings off himself.

//

While Rallon was taking a shower, Ushas, Theta, and Koschei were sitting across from Borusa, in the three dreaded chairs in front of his desk. No one ever sat there unless they were either incredibly good students, or in an insane amount of trouble. As it was, they were clearly in the dark office for troublesome reasons, which was why the dark brown desk looked particularly menacing.

“Theta Sigma, Koschei,” began Borusa, staring at the two boys. Koschei sat up taller, but Theta was slumped down in his seat, as if trying to hide from him. “I expect this from you two. You’ve been troublemakers ever since the day you arrived at this Academy. However—” he turned to Ushas “—I’ve never seen you do anything like this before, Ushas. I’m disappointed in you.”

She was quick to retaliate. “But Epsilon—!”

“No excuses, Ushas. Especially not if you’re planning to blame it on someone else.”

Koschei held up a hand, which he lowered as soon as Borusa looked at him. “It actually was Epsilon, sir. He took Ushas’s experiment earlier today and he won’t give it back. He used the food fight as a distraction to get away so that we wouldn’t be able to catch him and take it back.”

“A likely story,” said Borusa, a look of disbelief in his dark eyes. “You three should know by now; I don’t like excuses. Most delinquents learn that the first year they’re here.” Ushas gasped at the use of the word ‘delinquents’, and Borusa sighed. “Yes, Ushas. A delinquent. That’s what you are now.”

“Do we have to clean the toilets again, sir?” asked Theta quietly, an odd expression on his face. He had absolutely no desire to return to those disgusting rooms.

“Not this time, but that’s a fantastic idea for next week.” Koschei sighed and glared at his best friend. Theta shrugged. “It should be obvious what your punishment is this time.” He paused for effect. “You three are going to clean up the entire dining hall. I expect it to be spotless by breakfast.”

“But, sir!” Theta exclaimed. “What about sleeping?”

“You’ll be able to get a few hours in between work sessions. Now, get started. You know where the supplies are.” He stopped in the doorway before leaving the room. “And children? Clean off those chairs first.”

The trio collectively groaned. There must have been thousands of hot wings on the floor in the dining hall, not to mention how much hot sauce was littering the area. They were all quite discouraged, but Ushas was just one page behind Theta and Koschei, who were both thinking the same thing. Koschei was the first one to voice it, disgust filling his tone.

“This is worse than the toilets.”

//

“Drax?”

He didn’t look over at his roommate but continued to stare out the window from his seat on the bench between their beds. He was wearing a pastel colored tank top and gray pajama pants and held a soft white pillow in his grip as he rested his head against the wall.

“Mm hm?”

“Are you okay?” asked Jelpax. He didn’t push for an answer but waited in silence for the minute that it took Drax to answer.

“Yeah,” he said eventually. “I’m fine.”

“Really? Because you haven’t talked much since dinner, and it’s not like you to be quiet without a reason.”

Drax nodded. “It’s just been a long day, like I told you earlier.”

“Long how?”

“Well, I’m failing temporal theory, for one.”

“Really?” He furrowed his brow. “I just have one question: when were you _passing_ temporal theory?”

He rolled his eyes and tossed his pillow on top of the stuffed striped pig bear that sat beside him on his bed. “Not in the mood, Pax.”

Jelpax sighed. Over the years, he had gotten a good sense of when Drax did and didn’t want to talk, but it was still difficult to pinpoint when he would flat-out refuse to. Drax’s frequent lack of communication was one of the things that bothered Jelpax the most about him. He knew that he understood Drax better than anyone else did, but sometimes it felt like he didn’t know him at all.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean it in rude way,” he said, as he sat up from the floor. Jelpax had by lying down on their carpet, airing himself out in a t-shirt and pajama pants after his shower. “It’s just that you’ve never exactly gotten high marks in that class. You seem to have a bit of trouble focusing, and honestly, it doesn’t seem like you understand much of what the professor talks about.”

“Yeah, you think I don’t know that?” Drax still didn’t turn to face him. “I try to focus. I do. It’s just hard for me. I don’t know why. It just doesn’t make sense for some reason. Like, ‘the butterfly effect’? Really? What the hell does a butterfly have to do with temporal theory?”

“It’s just a metaphor. It’s meant to say that if you step—”

“Yeah, I know that what it’s supposed to mean. I just don’t know if I get the concept well enough to pass this stupid test on Friday.”

“I’ll help you study tomorrow,” Jelpax offered, “and the next day too if you need it. And any day after that. I’ll make sure you pass the test.”

“It’s not just the test, Pax,” Drax said quietly. He cleared his throat in an obvious attempt to make his voice louder. A level of emotion came through in his tone when he spoke again, and he wasn’t sure if it was upset or frightened. “I have to pass this class. I can’t fail it. I can’t.”

“Drax, it’s fine. Everyone has something that they’re not good at.”

“No. You don’t understand. My mum will kill me if I don’t pass this class.”

Jelpax didn’t know what to say. He was thrown off by the mention of Drax’s mother—Drax had rarely mentioned his family after they had gotten out of primary school. He didn’t point this out, but waited for Drax to elaborate, hoping that he had more to say. He did.

“It was her favorite class when she was in the Academy,” he mused. He flopped back onto his pillows and snapped lamely at the rubber band around his wrist. “She didn’t talk to me a lot back when I lived at home, but one thing I remember she always told me was that actions have consequences. I guess that I’m bringing those consequences on myself now, with my tardiness and lack of attention, but I don’t think she knows about it.”

He went silent as he ran a hand over his face. Jelpax said nothing, feeling like there was more to the story.

“She didn’t believe that I wasn’t very smart. She told me that I was brilliant and once I got into the Academy everyone would be asking _me_ for help, but here I am. Not brilliant and being forced to get a tutor. By Professor Hinnera, not by you. I’m not mad at you. Sorry if it’s coming off that way. It’s just—I lie _a lot_. And I fudge my grades _a lot_. In all honesty, I’ve never gotten higher than a sixty-nine in my life.”

Jelpax’s jaw nearly dropped, but he forced it, and his eyes, to stay in their place. He didn’t want Drax to feel any worse about himself over the situation, despite the bombshell that had just been dropped on him.

“Mum said that as long as I passed all of my classes then everything would be fine, and I shouldn’t have to worry about what she would do otherwise because I’m passing. But then one time I asked her what she would do if I wasn’t, and she…” His voice trailed off.

“What?” asked Jelpax, trying to keep his nagging curiosity out of his tone. “You would get in trouble?”

“No.” He shook his head. “She told me that she would—never mind. It doesn’t matter. What I’m saying is that I brought this on myself and you don’t have to help me study if you don’t want to. Honestly, I’m just generally bad at most things, and I suppose that’s my fault, so I should just deal with it alone. You don’t need to waste your day helping me with something I’ll never understand.”

Jelpax shook his head. “Shut up, Drax. I’m going to help you anyway. You can’t talk me out of it.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

Drax pushed his pillows back where they were supposed to be, then walked over to where Jelpax was sitting on the floor and wrapped him in an embrace. Jelpax was still a bit stiff when it came to hugs, because he had never really been a touchy person, but he had loosened up over time. Spending time with Drax sort of forced him to, as his entire persona seemed to rely on being able to make physical contact.

He always gave out hugs when he was happy or excited, and more than often he would wrap an arm around Jelpax’s shoulders or put a hand on his arm when they were standing or sitting close to each other. Sometimes Jelpax wondered if he was even able to interact with people _without_ touching anyone else. Not that it bothered him, of course. Jelpax enjoyed Drax’s company more than anyone else’s, and even if they made him slightly uncomfortable sometimes, he had grown to look forward to the hugs.

“When are we going to study?” asked Drax, pulling out of the hug. He scooted back and ran a hand through his bangs, brushing them out of his eyes. Jelpax watched him and shrugged.

“We can do a bit tonight, but it’s getting late. Maybe tomorrow evening?”

He nodded. “Sounds good to me.”

//

Theta gasped when they reentered the dining hall fifteen minutes later. He knew that the food fight had been bad, but he hadn’t really noticed just how bad the mess was. In fact, they hadn’t even begun cleaning yet and Theta’s mop was already had hot sauce on it, and somehow a chicken wing had managed to get in the bucket. Ushas groaned loudly.

“It’s disgusting!” she cried. She couldn’t even count how many tables there were in the room, but whatever the number was, there were that many chicken wings times a million. “How are we going to clean all of this up? It’s absolutely foul!”

“We suck it up and get to work,” said Koschei glumly. “No point in moping, let’s get mopping.”

Theta snorted and began to mop. However, his mopping soon turned back into moping as it wasn’t exactly cleaning up the hot sauce but spreading it around to create an even bigger mess. That, and the chicken wings were stuck in the mop. “Ew,” he said, as he dragged the mop back over to the water bucket.

Neither Koschei nor Ushas could cry out fast enough to stop him from dunking the mop into the bucket. The chicken goop infected the the water, turning it a nasty brownish color and leaving small pieces and flakes of hot wings floating in it.

“Sorry, guys,” said Theta. He cringed when he saw the problem he had created. “I wasn’t thinking.”

“Yeah, you weren’t thinking when you decided to go over and make Epsilon start this food fight either, were you?” Ushas scoffed.

“Hey! That was Koschei’s idea, not mine.”

“I don’t care whose idea it was! All I care about is the fact that you’ve completely ruined my evening.”

Koschei took a deep breath to keep himself from lashing out. “Shut up. Both of you. It doesn’t matter how or why this happened. We just need to clean this shit up so that we can get out of here with at least a little bit of time to sleep. Unless you two _want_ to be here all night?” He grabbed one of the rags hanging off the mop bucket and started to wipe down the nearest table.

“I’ll go get fresh water.” Theta sighed as he began to wheel the mop bucket away.

“And I’ll go kill Epsilon,” said Ushas.

“No!” Koschei slapped his rag down onto the table in front of him and slammed a hand down on top of it. “You can’t kill Epsilon.”

“Why not?”

“Because _I’m_ going to kill Epsilon.”

Ushas and Koschei did not stop glaring at each other until Theta returned with the clean water. He wheeled it in between them, then looked back and forth between the pair, confused. “Um, guys?” he said. “I thought that we were supposed to be cleaning?”

“We are.”

“Then why are you just standing there?”

“Don’t talk, Theta,” said Koschei. “Just clean.”

The three of them returned to their task of cleaning up the room. At first it felt like it was going rather quickly, but the longer they worked the slower they got, and the more tables there seemed to be. Theta started complaining that his arms felt as if they would fall off about an hour in, and Koschei joined in not too long after. Ushas wanted to complain as well, but refused to show weakness, and thus continued working. It was only when they had been cleaning for nearly five hours that all of them suddenly went silent when the doors to the dining hall suddenly burst open.

“Epsilon Iota!” Koschei fumed. He had been holding a mop, which he threw back down into the water bucket, then paced over to Epsilon who was standing in the doorway with Ushas’s experiment in his hands. “I’m going to—!”

Koschei didn’t get a chance to do anything to Epsilon, nor finish his sentence. Ushas dropped her rag and spray bottle right where she stood before running over to Epsilon, her face red.

“Give it back!” she screamed. She leapt forward at him and knocked him to the floor, then began to wrestle him for the box, but he managed to keep hold of it and stood up. He backed away from her slowly, then turned around to run out of the room. “I’m going to kill you, Epsilon!”

Theta sighed when Ushas ran out of the room after him. “I guess we’re finishing this on our own?” he said.

“Or we could go watch her fight Epsilon,” Koschei suggested.

He nodded approvingly. “Sounds good to me. Let’s go.”

So they did. They walked right out the double doors, knowing that they were going somewhere far more interesting than the stinky dining hall.

//

“I look fabulous,” said Mortimus. He admired himself in the mirror beside him and turned to Millennia, flipping his non-existent long hair dramatically. “Don’t I look fabulous?”

Magnus rolled his eyes. “No. You don’t look fabulous. Actually, you know, I’ve been thinking, and I’m not sure it’s a great idea for you to go on this date.”

“What? Why?”

Classes had gotten out just about an hour earlier, which meant that it was almost time for Mortimus to go on his date with Millie. Millennia had come over to help him get ready, and he hadn’t stopped with the arrogant comments since they had started.

“It could be a bad idea. I mean, come on, Mort. There’s literally like a million reasons not to go on a date with this girl.”

Mortimus scoffed and smoothed out his short, wispy brown hair. “Please. Name one.”

“I won’t be able to call Millennia ‘Millie’ anymore if the date goes well.”

Millennia made a face. “When have you _ever_ called me Millie?”

“I call you Millie all the time,” said Magnus. “Why wouldn’t I? Millennia is such a long name. I think that Millie works much better on you. Wouldn’t you agree, Mortimus?”

“Nah.” Mortimus shook his head and adjusted his tie. “I think that Millie is a great name for Millie, but it doesn’t really suit Millennia. She’s too spunky for a boring name like that. She needs something long and classy. Millennia is a perfectly beautiful name and I think it suits her well.”

Magnus rolled his eyes.

“Aw, thanks Mortimus.” Millennia smiled and reached over to give him a hug. He stepped away from her.

“Careful with the suit,” he said. “We don’t want to smudge the ink.”

Magnus snorted, the most utterly dumbfounded expression appearing on his face. “The ink? Mort, you—you know why suits are black, right?”

“Yeah.” He shrugged and nodded. “They make them that way with ink.”

He blinked a few times and shook his head slowly. “You might be good with people, Mort, but you sure as hell don’t know shit about anything else.”

“Thanks.” Mortimus smiled sarcastically. “That makes me feel brilliant.”

“Well, it’s not like I’m wrong. You only ever talk to ignorant girls who want to go out with you for your looks and phony charm, and then I have to deal with the aftermath of ‘your roommate is a dick, blah, blah, blah’!”

Mortimus gasped. “That’s why you don’t want me to go out with her! You don’t want to deal with the aftermath!”

“Yeah.” Magnus nodded. “What? Did you think that I actually gave a shit about your stupid date? I just don’t want her stupid friends to try and punch me out again.”

“You—!”

“Stop it!” Millennia exclaimed suddenly. “You can’t be fighting like this right now. Mortimus will get all worked up before his date, and then he’ll be in aggressive, personal-invasion mode!”

“Mortimus doesn’t do that,” said Magnus. “That’s a Vansell thing. You’re thinking of his oblivious, I-know-your-life-story mode.”

“Whatever.” She glanced down at her watch. “Oh, shoot. I’m going to be late for my study group if I don’t leave right now. I’ll see you guys later?”

“S—Study group?” Mortimus stammered. His face flushed red. “You’re still going to be able to text me during the date though, right?”

She shook her head. “Not this time. Sorry. It’s just that I have this really important test coming up, and—”

“I don’t care about your test! I care about having you here to stop me from doing something stupid!”

Magnus laughed. “Guess you’ll have to find someone else to stop you.”

“Who?!”

“I’m sorry, Mortimus! I really have to go. Good luck on your date!” She grabbed her bag off the floor and dashed out of the door, making sure that it clicked behind her. Mortimus watched her go, then sank down onto the floor.

“I’m doomed. Ellie is never going to want to go out with me again. I’m going to say something stupid. I just know it.”

“You already did.”

Mortimus gasped. “What? What did I say?”

“You called her Ellie.”

“And? That’s her name.”

Magnus took a deep breath, a slightly tense smirk on his face. “Her name is Millie, you dumbshit.”

“Oh, my god!” He stood up quickly and ran over to the door. “Oh, god. I’m doomed. I have to fix this.”

He didn’t stop to close the door when he ran out of it, and Magnus didn’t bother to stand up and get it. He knew Mortimus wouldn’t be gone for long. And besides—the idiot never remembered to keep the door locked anyway.

Mortimus hauled ass across the hallway and, despite it being such a short distance, somehow managed to be out of breath by the time he banged on Drax and Jelpax’s door. Jelpax was the one to answer the door, and he nearly burst out into laugher when he saw Mortimus’ state.

“Don’t sweat on your suit,” he said, trying and failing to hold in his laughter.

“Is Drax around?” asked Mortimus, ignoring his comment.

Jelpax nodded. “Yeah. He’s inside, getting changed. Why?”

“I need to talk to him.”

As if on cue, Drax walked up behind Jelpax, halfway through putting his shirt on. He smoothed it out, then nearly choked on his laughter. “Date night?” he asked, as he pulled a beanie on over his head.

“Yeah.” Mortimus rolled his eyes. “Millennia is busy, and I really, really need your help. Please.”

“Good lord.” Jelpax turned around and went back into their room, leaving the other two at the door.

“With what?” asked Drax.

“I’ll message you what’s going on and you need to let me know if I’m doing anything really stupid.”

“Why do you think that I can do that?”

“You’re the next best thing after Millennia.”

He made a face. “How? I’ve never even been on a date in my life.”

“Well, maybe if you didn’t turn them all down.” Mortimus sighed. “You know that you’re a heartthrob, Drax. Don’t deny it. Plus, you’ve got that nice, feminine touch.”

“Whatever,” Drax sighed. “I’ll do it.” He grabbed his phone off the table nearest the door. “But if everything goes completely sideways, I am not at fault, ‘kay?”

“Sounds good.” He nodded. “I’ll text you when I pick her up.”

“Cool.”

Mortimus smiled. “Thanks.”

“No problem, Mort.”

Drax watched as Mortimus left, then turned back around and realized that Jelpax was glaring at him.

“What?”

//

Mortimus smiled when Millie stepped out of the building. They weren’t technically allowed to leave the Academy grounds yet, but he didn’t want to have their date in the school, so he had decided to take her on a walk through the garden and the woods. He was briefly worried that he wouldn’t know his way around, but he laughed it off. There was no way he was stupid enough to get lost in the forest, right?

“Hi, Millie.” He waved to her and shot her a smile. She smiled back, and he took it to be a good sign. He quickly messaged Drax a ‘thumbs up’ emoticon while she walked over to him. “You look amazing tonight.”

“So do you,” said Millie.

“Did you pick the color for sentimental reasons?”

“What?”

Mortimus was almost surprised when he caught himself being creepy, and he had to stop from face-palming right then and there. Why did he always have to start conversations with creepy, invasive questions? He subtly messaged Drax with the question of how to recover.

“Nothing, sorry,” he said. He glanced down at his phone to read Drax’s response as soon as it came.

**DRAX: tell her it matches her eyes.**

He sighed and shot him a text back, keeping his eyes on Millie while she talked about her day.

**ME: But it doesnt!!**

**DRAX: say it anyway**

Mortimus shrugged to himself. “What I said before, about your dress,” he began, “I just wanted to say that it looks so beautiful on you. It really matches your eyes.”

“Aw, that’s so sweet.” She smiled. “I don’t know why people say that you’re creepy. You’re really nice. I think that you’re just misunderstood.”

**ME: She says that Im misunderstood wtf do I say??**

Drax did not respond quickly enough for Mortimus to speak to her in ample time, and he was forced to come up with something on his own. However, talking to people in a normal fashion was not one of his strong suits and what ended up leaving his mouth was quite possible even worse than what he had started with.

“Thanks,” he said, grinning slightly. “You’re misunderstood too.”

Millie gave him the most horrified look he had ever seen on someone’s face.  Not knowing what to do, he sent Drax another message, this time with far more urgency.

**ME: I told HER that SHEs misunderstood!!!!!!! HELP!!!!!!!**

His response came in about two seconds that time.

**DRAX: WTF DID YOU DO THAT FOR YOU IDIOT**

**ME: You werent responding!!!**

Mortimus almost face-palmed when Drax’s next response came. It could not have been more accurate, and he could not have possibly felt any worse.

**DRAX: you mean like you are now??!! stop messaging me and say something to her!! she’s staring at you like you’re a fucking idiot!!**

Sure enough, as Mortimus looked up from his phone, he was met with the sight of Millie staring at him as if he was the biggest weirdo she had ever met in her life.

“Sorry,” he said quickly. “That was my roommate. You met him yesterday. He’s a bit weird.”

Millie fell for his excuse. “He was a bit weird. Hey, no offense, but is he like, all right in the head?”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. He seemed a bit… aggressive.”

Mortimus nodded. “Oh, yeah. He’s got some anger issues. That’s why I had to message him back right away.” He held up his phone as if to make a point, but really typed out another message.

**ME: Were talking about Magnus!!!!! HOW TO CHANGE SUBJECT???**

Drax did not respond yet again, forcing Mortimus to come up with an idea of his own. Some friend Drax was turning out to be.

“You know, in a way,” Mortimus began, “we’re all a bit messed up in the head. I mean, Magnus is a bit more obvious about it, but we’ve all got our silly, subtle things.”

Millie nodded. “You are so right,” she said. He breathed a sigh of relief. “I a way, I think that’s what makes us really unique, you know? Even though we all have these hidden flaws, it’s what makes us really beautiful.”

“Yeah.” He nodded, even though he didn’t quite understand her point. “I mean, I don’t mind if you don’t know how to buy shoes that match your dress.”

He winced when the air went silent again, a pained expression appearing on Millie’s face. Mortimus had no idea what to say or do during the silence and thought that it was probably a good time to pull out his famous “run for it” move that he was known for, but he knew better than to do that. Probably. He was smart enough not to take out his phone again, at least.

“It, uh, it was a joke,” he stammered.

“Oh,” Millie said quietly. “It’s just that—”

“It wasn’t funny. I know. But it’s not like I’m Drax or Theta. I’m just—”

“You know Drax?” Her eyes lit up.

Mortimus furrowed his brow. “Well, yeah. You didn’t know that?”

“He’s cute,” she mused.

He nearly gagged. It wasn’t happening. She was _not_ saying that Drax was cute. He was not going to lose a girl to Drax. Never. He took a deep breath and decided to try and talk her down.

“Some people think so.” He shrugged. “But really, he might look good, but he’s a bit of a loony.”

“Yeah?” She raised an eyebrow.

“Totally. He’s probably the biggest troublemaker in the school.” Millie nodded but said nothing, so Mortimus went on. “Want to go into the forest? I hear it’s beautiful at night.”

She smiled. “Sure.”

They walked into the forest, Mortimus making sure that he knew which direction they had come in from. They walked for a few minutes, talking and laughing, until Millie came to a sudden halt in the middle of the path.

“Did you hear that?” she asked.

“No.” He shook his head. “What did it sound like?”

“I think it was a woprat.”

Mortimus couldn’t stop himself from rolling his eyes. Luckily, Millie was looking away. “Woprats have been extinct since before we were born. I’m sure that it’s nothing.”

“Can we go back, please?” she asked. “I’m still scared.”

It was about two seconds after they turned around that Mortimus realized he couldn’t remember where they had come from. He spun around several times in an attempt to identify his surroundings, but only confused himself more. He looked over to Millie, knowing that he would have to explain himself, and chose the cowardly way out.

“Sorry, that’s my mum calling. One sec.”

He scurried just out of range while calling Drax as quickly as he could. He answered on the very last ring, and Mortimus made certain to keep his voice down so as not to let Millie hear.

“Drax, we’re lost in the forest,” he squeaked. There was a second of silence on the other end before his friend burst into laughter. “It’s not funny.”

“Right, sorry,” said Drax. He still sounded like he was laughing a bit, and his voice was slightly hoarse when he stopped. “It’s just really funny. Anyway, just walk out the way that you walked in. It’s easy.”

“I don’t know what way we came from.”

“So just—” He stopped speaking suddenly, and Mortimus knew that the distant voice in the background belonged to Jelpax. “Got to go, Mort. Good luck.”

Drax hung up then, and Mortimus walked back over to Millie, who looked miserable. Clearly, she had realized the situation.

“Sorry,” he said.

“It’s okay.” Millie shrugged. “I mean, I do have to tell you that this is the worst date I have ever been on in my entire life, but I don’t, like, hate you, y’know?”

Mortimus nodded. “Thanks. I would have hated me. I kind of do.”

“Don’t beat yourself up. Not yet, at least. We can fight about this after we get out of the woods.”

“Okay. Which way should we go?”

//

“She doesn’t hate you?” Drax gaped. He put his feet up on the back of Jelpax’s chair, his long legs nearly reaching his shoulders. Jelpax scooted away slightly but said nothing.

The Deca was gathered back in Borusa’s classroom having their weekly meeting a few days after Mortimus’ big date. No one responded to Drax when he spoke, so he went on.

“I mean, really? Are you kidding me? After all of that, she doesn’t hate you?”

“Well, I mean, she doesn’t want to go out with me again,” said Mortimus, “but she doesn’t hate me either. She did say that we can still be friends. We had a pretty good conversation at the end of the date, actually. It was fun.”

“Yeah? You didn’t say any of your normal shit?”

He shook his head and Millennia smiled. “I’m proud of you, Mortimus.”

“I’m proud of Ushas,” said Koschei, glancing over at his friend. She had her plant resting safely upon her desk. “She beat the crap out of Epsilon. Getting that thing back made for one hell of a show.”

“Cleaning the dining hall sure didn’t,” Theta mumbled. He was still bothered by the entire event.

After Ushas had run off and they followed her, they ended up not making it back into the dining hall until breakfast, and they had to clean during the meal. Or rather, instead of it.

Ushas shrugged. “I did what I had to do,” she said simply. “I needed to get my experiment back, even if that meant punching him in the nose once or twice.”

“And attempting to strangle him.”

“Completely beside the point. What matters is that I got my experiment back.”

“Speaking of what matters,” said Jelpax, “you want to tell these guys how you did on your exam? They might learn a thing or two.”

Drax pushed his bangs back and shook his head. “No. No, no, no. No.”

“Fair enough.” He turned around to face the rest of the room. “You guys really didn’t want to know anyway.”

And, as always, it was true.


	9. Room 209

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drax, Koschei, and Theta try to open a locked door. Mortimus deals with a spider. Millennia spends time with Jelpax.

Drax was walking down the corridor, heading back to his room after his last class of the day. He heard a noise while he was approaching the second-floor staircase, which caused him to turn his head sharply to the right. He saw a door slam shut and instantly looked away. Until he realized why he was looking away.

There was a perception filter on room two-zero-nine.

No wonder he had never had any classes in that room before! There was something incredibly secret going on in there, and it took him about three seconds to decide that he was going to figure it out if it was the last thing he did.

Of course, the first thing he did after that was head straight to his room to tell his best friend about it. However, Jelpax expressed no interested in the situation, and Drax was forced to find the next best back-ups; Theta and Koschei.

Both were instantly captivated in his short story and were eager to hear what exactly was going on. When he told them that all he knew as that the door ha a perception filter on it, they made him take them straight to where he had seen the room. It wasn’t too hard to find, of course—now that he knew it was there, he just had to follow the room numbers.

Theta and Koschei both had to wrestle the perception filter just as Drax had, but eventually all three of them were standing in front of the door together, Theta’s hand on the door handle, and Koschei and Drax telling him to turn it.

When he did, they fell into complete shock. The door not only had a perception filter on it, but it was locked.

“Dammit!” Theta grumbled. “Why do they need to lock it? They already put a perception filter on it. We found the damn room; shouldn’t that be good enough for us to get to see what’s inside? I want a reward!”

“Reward for what?” asked Koschei. His arms were crossed tightly across his chest, his light blue eyes glaring at the door in front of him. “Fighting off that pathetic perception filter?”

“Duh. What else would I be getting a reward for? Failing mathematics? Horribly butchering the art of emotional detachment?”

“I personally believe that we should get rewarded just for taking that class,” said Drax. “I don’t get why we can’t just keep our emotions. Don’t we have, like, rights or something?”

“Rights?” Koschei snorted. “This is Gallifrey, mate. Our only right is living. Everything else is controlled by the high council.”

“You have a point there.”

“Who even cares?” Theta snapped. “I want to know what’s inside of this room, and I’m going to find out, whether you two lunatics help me or not.”

“Fine. I’m in,” said Koschei. “We might as well try to figure it out. I haven’t got anything better to do.”

“Me either.” Drax nodded. “I was going to blow off my homework anyway.” He twisted a pale blue bracelet around his wrist slowly, his eyes fixated on the door in front of him. “So, what are we going to do first?”

“Raid the Headmaster’s room?” Theta suggested. “I’m sure that he’s got something in there that talks about what’s in that room.”

Drax and Koschei nodded in agreement. “Sounds good to me,” said Koschei. “How are we going to get in and search without him knowing?”

“Don’t worry about it.” Drax’s lips curled into a mischievous grin. “You just leave that to me.”

//

It had been a long day filled with crappy classes and boring lectures, and by the time Magnus got back to his room he was more than ready to lie down and go to sleep. After he finished writing his letter, of course.

He pushed open the door to his room, then mentally groaned when he saw Mortimus lying on his bed in the fetal position, his eyes open wide. He sat up quickly when he heard the door open and breathed a sigh of relief when he saw Magnus.

“What is it now, Mort?” he asked.

“There’s a gigantic spider in the loo,” Mortimus answered, glancing nervously in the direction of the closed door. “I think it’s poisonous. It tried to kill me!”

Magnus nodded. “Sure, it did,” he said sarcastically. He rolled his eyes. “Where is it now?”

“I don’t know. I was waiting for you to get back.”

“So, you just decided to leave a potentially deadly spider in our loo because you’re a chicken?”

“Yes.”

“You really are an idiot, Mortimus.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know.” He waved a hand around dismissively. “So, can you help me get it out or not?”

“You already know the answer to that one.”

His shoulders sagged. “I’ll go find the vacuum,” he said, as he trudged out of the room.

//

“This is by far the stupidest thing you have ever asked us to do.”

“Which is why Theta agreed to it so quickly,” said Drax, rolling his eyes. “Look, the way I see it, this is the only way that we can get into that locked room. You guys both agreed to this earlier. In fact, it was all Theta’s idea. I just wanted to let it go, but no. Theta has to know what’s in that room.”

“I don’t _have_ to know what’s in there,” Theta argued. “Maybe I would like to know, but I don’t _have_ to.”

“Oh, yeah, you do,” said Koschei. “If you don’t find out it’ll drive your OCD mad.” He flicked Theta in the forehead, prompting him to wince. “Come on, guys. Let’s just do this and get it over with.”

“Fine. Let’s go. I’m not scared of a little raid.”

“Okay,” said Drax, “then you can lead us in.”

“Done.” Theta walked up to the door and went to place his hand on the doorknob, when suddenly both Koschei and Drax shouted at him in protest. He whipped around, a look of pure and utter bewilderment on his face. “What?”

“You can’t just open the door!” Koschei scolded. He flicked Theta in the forehead again.

“Would you quit doing that?”

“You do it to me all the time!”

“Children,” Drax began, “chill. We’ve got a lot of work that needs to be done and nothing is going to happen if we don’t get this door open.”

Theta nodded. “Duh. So, let me open it up.” He reached for the handle.

“No! You can’t just open it. You’ll leave fingerprints everywhere.”

“So? He’ll know that it was us anyway.”

“How?”

“We’re behind everything that goes wrong in this stupid school.”

Drax took a moment before responding. “Yeah, you’re not wrong,” he said. He shrugged and nodded. “I guess it really doesn’t matter, then. Let’s go in there and raid the hell out of that room.”

“Fuck yeah! Let’s go!”

They entered the office and were greeted by the all-too-familiar surroundings. The color scheme followed the same pattern as the rest of the school—mostly red and orange—but there were a few things that stood out, such as the dark oak desk, the shelves of multicolored books, and the miscellaneous decorative items around the area. There were also many awards hanging on the wall, but that was not out of the ordinary for a Prydonian.

Drax’s plan to raid the Headmaster’s office had seemed a bit out there at first, and Koschei had not quite understood it until Theta pointed that they didn’t have a key for the locked room and Drax snapped at him; saying that their point was ‘to break in, not to be invited over for tea’ and that ‘the entire plan was designed to get them the fucking keys’. That was when the whole plan started to make sense to Koschei and he got excited about it. Breaking the rules was one of his favorite activities and not getting caught was even better. So even though Theta was as oblivious as a time tot, they went ahead with Drax’s plan.

“What are we looking for?” asked Theta.

“A keyring, you idiot,” Drax answered, rolling his eyes. “You know that the plan was to break in and get the key, right? We’re not just here to lallygag and break his possessions.”

“But can we break a few?” Koschei questioned. He picked up a tiny figure of Rassilon and turned it over in his hands, a scowl on his face. “I’ve always hated this thing,” he said, “and one smash with my boot could take it out easily.”

“Goddammit. How stupid are you two? Have you never broken into the Headmaster’s office before? You can’t just go around breaking things and screwing with his stuff!”

“Why not?” Theta peered out of the curtains over the window on the door to check if anyone was coming.

“Because we’re not dumbasses,” said Drax, making sure to slowly and properly enunciate his words, so as to put emphasis on what he was saying.

“Yeah, we are.” Koschei rolled his eyes. “There’s no point in lying about it.”

“All right, you have a point. However, right now I actually do know what I’m doing and I’m not going to let you two imbeciles screw it up for me. I’m getting into that room one way or another and I would prefer to do it the easy way. I haven’t got all night.”

Theta scoffed as he opened and closed all the drawers on the Headmaster’s desk. “Because you always do things the easy way,” he said. “You never complicate things just to piss people off.”

“Nope. That’s you two. Aha!” Drax smiled and turned back around to face his friends. “I’ve found a locked box in this cupboard. I’m certain that the key is in here. Help me open it.”

“How do you know that it’s in there?” asked Koschei.

“Because it’s labeled ‘keys’.”

“But it’s locked,” said Theta. “How are we going to get it open?” Neither of his friends answered. “Wouldn’t it be nice if there was a device that could just unlock things for us whenever we wanted? Like an open-all skeleton key.”

“There is,” Drax deadpanned. “It’s called a lock-pick.”

“You know that’s not what I meant.”

“Whatever.”

Koschei walked over and took the box out of Drax’s hands, then shook it around. “Yup. There are definitely keys in there.” He paused and knocked on the wooden lid. “Wait, what if the box’s key is in there too?”

“Then he would have to be the dumbest fucker to ever graze this planet’s surface,” said Drax. He rolled his eyes. “Why the hell would he do that? Better yet, _how_ the hell would he do that? If the key was inside, then he couldn’t use it to lock the outside.”

“It was just a thought.”

“Well, it was a stupid one. Now stop saying stupid things so we can get this open. Either of you got any real ideas?”

Theta shook his head. “Nope.”

“Me either,” said Koschei. “I mean, we could always just bash its lock with a hammer until it opens for us.”

“I said _real_ ideas. Why are you such a moron?”

“I don’t know.”

“Hey, let’s just start over, okay?” said Drax. “You guys go back to wherever you were, and I’ll rediscover the box. This time don’t do anything stupid.”

Theta and Koschei nodded and went back to where they had been standing originally. They turned around and waited for Drax to speak.

“Aha!” he said. “I’ve found a locked box full of keys! How should we open it?”

“Should we make sure that it’s full of keys first?” asked Theta.

“Of course, it’s full of keys, you twat. Listen.” Drax pointed to the label on the box. “See? It’s obviously got keys in it. We just need to—”

The trio stepped back when Drax dropped the box. It slammed onto the floor and shattered into bits, scattering splinters all around them. None of them spoke for several moments as they all stared at the shattered box.

“Well,” said Koschei, “that was a terrible box.”

//

“Magnus, come in here.”

He didn’t look up from his homework. “No.”

“But it’s important,” said Mortimus. “I think I figured out what kind of spider I saw.” He walked out of their restroom with an open book in his hands, then placed it down on top of the one Magnus had been reading. He pointed to one of the spiders on the open page. “It’s this one.”

Magnus quickly read over the information on the spider and inspected the picture. “Dude, this is one of the most dangerous spiders on Gallifrey,” he said, raising an eyebrow. “Are you sure that this is the one you saw?”

“Yeah.” He nodded. “I don’t know how it got in here, but that’s definitely it. I remember seeing that orange thing on his back.”

The sarcasm was not light in Magnus’s tone. “Oh, god.”

“My thoughts exactly. We have to get it out of here or we’re almost definitely going to die. What are we going to do?!”

“First, we’re going to chill out because you seem way too worked up about this. I mean, we don’t even know that it’s still in there. By now it’s probably climbed out the window or something.”

“We don’t have a window in the loo, Magnus!”

“Do I look like I care?” Magnus rolled his eyes. “Either way, until I see proof that it actually exists, I’m not going to bother worrying about it. It would be absolutely pathetic to be afraid of a spider that may or may not even be real.”

“How do you not believe that it’s real? Is my word not trustworthy enough?”

“Not even a little bit.”

“Wow, that was rude.” Mortimus frowned and crossed his arms. “I can’t believe that you would say something like that.”

Magnus scoffed. “Because I never say anything rude?” He shook his head, a small smirk appearing on his face. “Fuck you,” he said, his tone slightly humorous as he proved his point.

“Okay.”

“What?”

“What?”

“Oh, my god.” Magnus placed one hand on his forehead to hide his face. “You said nothing. I didn’t hear anything.”

“Yeah. All right. What were we talking about before?”

“No idea. Now get the hell out. I can’t look at you after that.”

“Fine, I’m going.”

For the first time, Magnus failed to notice when Mortimus failed to lock the door behind him.

//

Millennia strolled down the hall, clutching the top of her bag tightly. She wasn’t necessarily in a hurry, but she didn’t want to take all day to finish her errands either. She knocked on the door as soon as she arrived but opened it on her own when she didn’t get a response.

“I brought your book back,” she said. She pulled a blue textbook out of her bag and waved it in the air. Jelpax did not turn around. “Thanks for letting me borrow it.”

“Yeah, no problem,” he mumbled, his eyes still glued on the page in front of him. He pushed his slightly rounded glasses further up his nose. “Just leave it on the nightstand.”

She did as she was told, then turned back to her friend and peered over his shoulder to see what he was up to. As she suspected, his reading was not required, but more extra credit work. She turned around when she realized she had to squint to read his book, and it suddenly occurred to her that the dark orange curtains were shut tight, preventing any light from entering the room.

“Why are the curtains closed?” she asked.

Jelpax shrugged. “I don’t need them open. You open them for light, and I don’t need that.” He gestured to the lamp on his desk. “I have artificial light.”

“You need real light too.” Millennia reached over and pulled the curtains open.

“Ahh!” Jelpax cried. He stuffed his head into his arms. “Natural light!”

She giggled. “You’re crazy,” she said, as she crossed her arms. “Natural light is a good thing.”

“Not to me.” He used one hand to readjust his glasses, the other still shielding him from the light. “Artificial light is brighter and adjustable to fit my needs.”

“You’re reading a book. How many needs does that require?”

“A lot. You have to find the right lighting and seating and everything or your experience isn’t going to be as pure.”

“A pure experience from reading a book?” She rolled her eyes. “You know what I think a pure experience is?”

“I don’t actually care, to be honest.”

“I think that you should go outside and walk around the woods for a bit. It would do you some good to get out and I think you’ll be pleased with how nice the lighting actually is out there. Plus, the nature noises are quite calming.”

“Oh, shut up. You can say whatever you want but there’s still no good place to sit. There’s nowhere like my reading chair.”

Millennia frowned. “You’re not even sitting in your reading chair,” she pointed out, “you’re at your desk.”

“That’s because I’m doing homework,” he said. “When I’m reading books for pleasure, I always sit in my reading chair.”

“What reading chair? You’ve got no reading chair!” She spread her arms out, gesturing to the whole of the room. “There is literally no reading chair in here.”

“That’s because it’s in the library, you nitwit.”

“Jelpax, you are the sassiest person I have ever had the pleasure of talking to.”

He shrugged. “That’s just because you’ve never talked to yourself. You’re even sassier; you just try really hard not to be rude to people. I’m bad at controlling myself though, see?”

“If you say so.” Millennia paused for a few seconds, considering what she should do next. “Are you busy tomorrow?” she asked.

“Always.” Jelpax nodded. She knew that it wasn’t true. He just said that to get out of things. “Why? Did you have something you wanted me to do? As long as it’s not too involved, I might be able to rearrange my schedule to fit it in. Is it important?”

“Can you come outside with me for a while and walk around the grounds?”

Jelpax froze. Millennia only wished that she knew what he was feeling so that she could elaborate in an intelligent manner.

“Uh, no,” he said. “No, I can’t. I’m busy, remember? I can’t do something that takes a while like that on one of my busy days.” He turned away from her, directing his eyes back onto the pages of his book. Millennia could tell that he wasn’t really paying attention to it.

“Come on, Jelpax,” she pleaded. “You can’t hide in here forever.”

“Sure, I can.”

Millennia walked over to him and grabbed his hand, then attempted to pull him out of his seat. “You’re going to come.”

“What are you doing, Mil?” He pulled away from her. “I’m skinny, I’m not weak. You’ll never be able to drag me out of here.”

“I know. Can you please just come? You really need to go outside for once and I want to spend some time with you.”

“What? Why?” he asked, as if the idea was unheard of.

“Because we never hang out. Come on, Jelpax. Please?”

He sighed. “All right, fine. But this is just because I don’t want to be an asshole.”

“Good enough for me.” Millennia smiled. “Let’s go.”

She grabbed his hand and pulled on him again, and he allowed her to drag him out of the room, leading him to wherever it was that she wanted to go.

//

Theta, Drax, and Koschei stared down at the pile of splinters and keys, all of them shock still. Even though none of them spoke, all of them were thinking the same thing.

“Mother of Rassilon,” said Koschei, “we’re dead.”

Theta nodded lamely. “Yeah.”

“We can fix this.” Drax looked up from the pile of keys and wood. “We just have to find the right key and make an exact replica of the box.”

“Good idea. How are we going to know which key it is?”

“We’ll get to that later. Koschei, you worry about getting the box and I’ll take care of the lock.” He turned to Theta. “You need to stand guard. Don’t back down no matter what, okay?”

“I know.” He scoffed. “Look, you guys do your thing and I’ll get this cleaned up and make sure that he doesn’t get in here. Easy as pickle pie.”

“Ew, god, that is one disgusting pie,” said Koschei. He wrinkled his nose. “Bleck!”

“It’s not a real pie, Kos, it’s a figure of speech. Oh, stop holding your nose! You can’t smell a fictitious pie!”

Drax reached over and slapped both of his friends on the side of the head. “Shut up, you imbeciles. We have a room to break into.”

“We do?”

“Duh. That’s what got us into this mess, you dolt.”

“Oh, right.” Theta nodded. “Sorry, I forgot.”

“How did you forget?” Drax snapped. “That has literally been our priority since this afternoon… or yesterday… or something.”

“You two shut up before you get into anything,” said Koschei. “Let’s just get to work on this, all right? We’ve got a lot to do.”

“Fine.” Theta sighed. “Let’s go.”

//

“Okay, I’ve come back to debate about this and I’ve brought a friend.”

Magnus didn’t bother to look up at his roommate, let alone turn around to greet him. “We’re not going to debate, you moron. Whatever you’re thinking, you’ve used the wrong word.”

“Fine.” Mortimus’s voice was cold. “Then can we argue about it? I’ve only got Ushas for an hour.”

He spun around at the mention of her name. “Hey, Ushas. I apologize in advance for what you’ve been dragged into.”

“Thank you for saying that before I demanded it from you,” she said, her arms crossed firmly against her chest. “Mortimus wouldn’t tell me what you two are fighting about, but he said that it had something to do with biology?”

“My god, Mort. Did you actually tell her that?” Mortimus nodded, and Magnus rolled his eyes. “Whatever he said is total rubbish. Ignore him. He’s trying to identify a supposedly deadly spider he might have seen in our loo.”

“Yeah.” Mortimus ran over and pulled a book off his shelf, then opened it up to the bookmarked page; the same one that he had shown Magnus before. Mortimus ran a hand through his shaggy hair, messing it up as he spoke. “This is it,” he said, pointing to the spider. He looked to Ushas to see what she thought, but her expression was blank. “Speak, woman.”

“If there was any sort of spider in your loo,” she began, “it was not that one. In case you didn’t bother to read the rest of the page, that is one of the rarest, most deadly spiders on Gallifrey. That is definitely not the spider you think you saw.”

“I see where you’re coming from,” he said, “but I saw the spider with my own two eyes, and I know that’s the one. See the colored stripe on its back? That’s it. That’s how I know.”

Ushas pursed her lips, nodding slowly. “How long have you been hunting this spider for, Mortimus?”

“All bloody evening,” said Magnus.

“Okay. One second.” She walked over to their loo, then looked around for a few moments before coming out, no readable expression on her face. “There is no spider in there now, and considering how long you’ve been hunting it for, I’m going to guess that it hasn’t been in there for a long time. If it was even in there in the first place, of course.”

“Excuse me?” Mortimus’s jaw dropped. “ _If_ it was in there? Of course it was in there! Why would I claim that it was in there if it wasn’t?”

“I don’t know.”

“I mean, it’s not like it’s a prank.” His pale green eyes looked ready to pop out of his skull, and it seemed as if his hands were trying to make his hair match. “Magnus is way too smart to be pranked. Nothing would ever get through to him. Believe me, I’ve tried. Once I even switched our test answers while he was sleeping, and he still managed to catch me.” He sighed as he began to pace around the room. “I swear I didn’t make this up, and I’m going to prove it to you one way or another.”

He walked out of the room and slammed the door shut behind him. Ushas walked over to Magnus and peered over his shoulder.

“He’s been doing that all night?” she asked, her eyes scanning over his homework.

“Evening,” Magnus corrected, “and yes. It’s annoying as all hell.”

“As he always is.” Ushas didn’t bother elaborating. Enough of her time had already been wasted, and she had better things to do that evening. She left the room with significantly less drama than Mortimus.

//

Theta barely watched when his friends left the room. He was left behind, in charge of the lamest task there was, and though he pretended not to care, it was hard. He hated being the one idiot who couldn’t be trusted to do anything except for clean up the keys. Then again, he had made a bad reputation for himself back in first year, with the time loop incident.

It was absolutely painful searching for all of the keys. Theta had to look under furniture, on top of books, beneath the rug; and no matter where he looked, there seemed to be another one. It ended up taking him more than twenty minutes to find every key, and even then, he wasn’t sure that he had them all. He knew that he had all the ones in sight and that was good enough for him. The statistics said that it was unlikely any lost key would be important, and if there was one missing then the Headmaster would probably just assume that he had misplaced it.

Once he had all the keys safely gathered in a pile, Theta retreated into the hallway. For the first time, Theta was glad that his locker was close to the Headmaster’s office as it made it incredibly easy to run over and grab his homework. He wasn’t actually planning on doing it, so he didn’t pay much attention to what stuff he pulled out. Luckily, he had grabbed his thermodynamics book, which happened to be both his major and his best subject.

Though he had been planning to just sit there and watch for people, pretending to look busy, he ended up working on some of his homework because he was so bored that he just couldn’t sit there doing nothing for any longer. He worked on his homework for as long as he could, but the specific work was remarkably easy, and it wasn’t long before he was staring at the wall again. He made sure to act busy whenever someone walked by, but of course he never was.

“Hello, Theta Sigma,” said a voice from above him.

Theta nearly jumped out of his body as he was jolted out of his daydream. He looked upwards to the man looming over him. “Hi, Professor Azmael,” he said, forcing a smile onto his face.

“Doing homework?”

“Yep.” The word left his mouth without so much as a squeak, and he suddenly felt more confident in his ability to stretch the truth.

“This is quite a strange place for that,” said Azmael.

He shrugged. “Yeah, I know. All my friends were being loud, and I couldn’t focus, so I thought that I would come work out here. No one ever comes ’round the Headmaster’s office so it’s bound to be quiet, yeah?”

“That is correct.” He chuckled as he looked down at the mounds of homework Theta still supposedly had to do. “I’ll leave you to it, then.”

“Okay. See you in class, professor.”

Azmael gave him one last smile before leaving. Theta breathed a sigh of relief as soon as he rounded the corner, thanking the universe that Azmael was the one who had walked by. If that had been Borusa, he would have been dragged down the hallway before he could say a word.

//

It wasn’t until Koschei was actually standing at the workbench that he realized he hadn’t taken woodwork since primary school. Said realization basically eliminated his entire plan, which meant that he had no idea what he was going to do. Why had Drax trusted him with to recreate the box anyway? Everyone knew that he was the least artistic person in the entire school.

“Oh, god,” he muttered. He dropped down onto the stool beside him and looked around the workshop as he attempted to figure out what to do. The walls were made of a light brown wood, with unpainted shelves attached to them and little trinkets atop those. It was basically the dullest room that Koschei had ever been in, but considering it was a place for making things out of wood, it was appropriately decorated.

Just as he was about to give up and head back to the Headmaster’s office, the door swung open and in walked the last person that he expected to see.

“Yo,” said Epsilon, as he placed his bag down on one of the tables.

Koschei waved at him briefly before turning back to the table. He was hoping that by almost completely ignoring Epsilon, he would understand that Koschei was not in the mood to talk. Unfortunately, the plan failed to work, and Epsilon strode straight up to him after abandoning his bag.

“Whatcha doin’?” he asked, as he peered over Koschei’s shoulder.

“Nothing. Just working on a project.”

“Dude, I’m weird, not stupid. I know that you don’t take woodwork.”

“Okay, fine, you’re right.” Koschei sighed. He whipped out his phone and produced an image Theta had sent him of the original box. “I have to make this.”

“Uh, why?”

“None of your business. Now get out of here so that I can work on it.”

Epsilon snorted. “Because you can make that without any prior woodworking experience?” He shook his head, his dark hair whipping slightly across the tips of his ears. “Never going to happen.”

“I know, but  I have to do it anyway. Unless…” He looked Epsilon up and down, an idea forming in his mind. “You take woodwork, right?”

“Yep. Ever since primary school. My parents make me do it for some reason. It’s not that great.”

“But you’ve got to be good at it after so long, right?” The more he thought about it, the more Koschei knew that his plan was going to work.

“I guess so.”

He grinned. “So, you can show me how to do it.”

“Seriously?” Epsilon slapped his forehead, shaking his head slowly. “All of that and you don’t even come to the most obvious solution?”

“What?”

“You want me to make it for you?” he offered. “Give me a twenty and I’ll do it.”

There was a short pause while Koschei considered the option. It would certainly be easier than making it himself. He pulled a twenty out of his pocket. “Eh, all right,” he said handing the note over to Epsilon. “Five more and you don’t tell anyone?”

Epsilon nodded and held his hand out for the next slip of cash. “Deal.”

//

Meanwhile, Drax was busy enacting his part of the plan.

Though he had spent several minutes thinking up how to distract Jelpax, it turned out that it was not necessary, as he was nowhere to be seen when he arrived at his room. It was almost frightening to not see him there at his normal hour and Drax took a moment to wonder where he might have been before he turned his attention back to his task.

He sat down at his desk, then reached into his top drawer and pulled out a sketchbook. He placed it to the left of him and picked up a pencil in his hand, then began to sketch out the steps of his plan to ensure he wouldn’t mess up on the way.

Drax relaxed as he worked on his sketch. It was easy for him, to draw things that way, like it was a blueprint or a step-by-step plan. It was familiar to him and he enjoyed doing it. It made the stress of worrying about Theta’s horrible guard skills fade away. He knew that he could do his part of the plan well and no matter how long it took to get it right, he was going to do it. It wouldn’t be long until he got to see what was inside of the locked room. Everything was going exactly to plan.

Until the inevitable happened, that is.

//

“I don’t understand why we’re here,” said Jelpax. The annoyed affliction was not lost in his voice as they walked through the trees. “What’s the point?”

“Well, we’re trying to get you into the light,” Millennia answered. “We can do some bonding, you can get some Vitamin D, you know, the works. You and I never really talk, and I think it’s about time that’s changed.”

“Why?” This time his voice had a strong overtone of curiosity.

“Because I think you need to get out more. You’re all wound up and you need to let loose. Also, you’re really nice and I want to get to know you better.”

He nodded, then ran a hand through his light red curls. “If you say so.”

They had been walking around the grounds for several minutes, and Millennia had led Jelpax into the forest. She didn’t have an exact place to go, but she was trying to get her friend to say something, so she prolonged the walk. Jelpax was clearly poor with small talk, and he didn’t seem to know what to do unless she brought up an actual topic.

“Do you have any siblings?”

The question caught Jelpax completely off-guard and he took a moment before responding, as if he was unsure of what to say. “What?”

“Siblings,” she repeated. “I asked if you have any siblings. I remember someone saying you have a few months ago and I was just wondering, since you’ve never really mentioned it before.”

“Oh. Well, yeah, I’ve got a few. They’re more bothers than brothers, though.”

Millennia giggled. “You’re funny.”

“Really?” He made a face. “Huh. No one’s ever said that about me before.”

“Well, they should. You’re funny, just usually in a dry, sarcastic kind of way.”

He nodded approvingly but said nothing. Jelpax found himself being the one to lead the way as they continued to walk through the woods, and he felt that they had more of a direction under his leadership. They ended up in the small clearing in the woods, which made Millennia gasp when she saw it.

“Ooh,” she said. She stopped to look around the area. “This clearing is beautiful.” She gestured to a fallen tree. “Do you want to sit down?”

“All right.” Jelpax sat down on the log and stared down at his boring black shoes. He felt uncomfortable in the silence and forced a question. “So, what’s up with you?” he asked.

“Nothing new.” She shrugged; her attention focused on the area around them. It was so gorgeous that even the weeds seemed to light up the area. After several seconds of silence, she finally looked back to Jelpax, her gray eyes wide and curious. “So, do you really hate nature, or have you actually been out here before?”

“Excuse me?”

“You are completely ignoring the wonderful area around us, even though it’s probably the most gorgeous place on campus. That either means that you actually do hate being outside, or you’ve been here before.”

Jelpax smirked. “One or neither,” he said cryptically.

“Come on.” She elbowed his shoulder playfully. “It’s painfully obvious that you’ve been here before. Did you find this place on your own or did someone show it to you?” Millennia giggled at the small smile that appeared on his face. “Okay, who was it?”

“Nobody. I’ve never been here before.” His voice was so steady that she almost wanted to believe him, but she didn’t.

“Was is one of your brothers?”

“Nope.” He chuckled. “I guess you wouldn’t know, but I’m not exactly close with my brothers. They wouldn’t take the time to show me this. Just like no one else would.”

“Seriously, Jel,” said Millennia. “Just tell me. I’m curious now.”

“I’m being serious. Nobody showed this place to me.”

She forced herself not to say anything else as she nodded. She knew that there was no way she would be able to crack him, so she had to pretend to believe him. However, the twinkle in his eyes and the small smile on his face told her that no matter what he said, someone special had taken him there.

//

“Hey, Thete!”

Theta did not look up from the book he was reading. “Hey.”

“Is Drax back yet?” he asked, as he reached out for the handle to the Headmaster’s office.

“Does it look like he is?”

“God, Thete. Who died?”

Theta did not respond, but simply rolled his eyes as he followed Koschei into the Headmaster’s office. He had spent so long pretending to be busy that he almost wasn’t in the mood to continue, as he ached from sitting on the cold floor all evening. The only good thing was that after Azmael, no one else tried to talk to him, nor go into the Headmaster’s office.

Once they entered the room, Theta plopped down into the first chair that he saw, while Koschei placed the wooden box down onto the Headmaster’s desk. Theta gasped, his eyes going wide as he stared at it.

“Gosh, Kos!” he exclaimed. “How did you make that thing? It’s gorgeous! I mean, it looks exactly like the old one.”

Koschei nodded. “I guess I just have a talent for it,” he said, hoping that Theta wouldn’t try to press him any further. “So, what now?”

“I guess we just wait for Drax to come back,” said Theta.

“Okay.” He stayed silent for around a minute before suddenly speaking again. “Jeez, how long does it take to do… what is he doing?”

“I don’t know. I wasn’t listening.”

“Yeah, me either.”

The two of them sat around for several more minutes, neither one of them knowing what to do. Koschei had been certain that Drax would come back before he did, and he hadn’t planned on what to do if he wasn’t.

Theta was the opposite. He was not thinking about Drax at all as he sat there, his mind almost completely blank. It was an absolutely wonderful chair that he was sitting in. He wondered how he had never noticed how soft and plush it was before, despite being in there basically every week.

“Okay, I’ve had enough,” said Koschei. “Where is he?”

“I’m here.”

If it weren’t for the sound of the door opening, Theta wouldn’t have realized that Drax had entered the room. He was so quiet when he spoke that it was almost as if he didn’t want to be heard. That being said, Theta did hear him and looked up, only to immediately turn away. Drax did have something in his hands, which was most likely what they needed, but it clearly wasn’t easy to obtain.

“God, Drax, what happened?” asked Koschei, looking him up and down. “You look like hell.”

It was true. Drax looked nothing like he had just over an hour ago. His bushy, light brown bangs were sticking up slightly; messy as if he had just woken up. His pale, freckled cheeks were flushed pink, and his green eyes were bloodshot. Despite this, his gait appeared normal, and Theta had trouble telling if he was curently or previously upset.

“Nothing.” His voice came out raspy and slightly high pitched. He seemed to notice that fact, as he cleared his throat before speaking again. “I meant nothing. Sorry.”

“Drax, seriously.” Although most people thought of Koschei as stubborn or stand-offish, Theta knew that he was soft when it came to his friends. “What’s up?”

“I said nothing. Leave me alone.”

“I would if your eyes weren’t effing bloodshot. Talk to me.”

“No.” Drax’s expression had gone from emotional to serious to angry in less than a minute and it was starting to worry Theta. He had never seen such frantic mood swings before. “Now shut up and help me get this thing onto the box or I’ll ditch you and tell the Headmaster what you’re doing. And don’t argue because you have no proof that I was ever here.”

Theta almost spoke, but Koschei beat him to it. “Drax, I don’t care about getting in trouble. Talk to me or I’m going to call Jelpax and you _will_ talk to him.”

Drax looked like he was just about ready to murder Koschei. “No. Now leave it alone. This is none of your business.”

“Yes, it is! You’re my friend. I just want to—”

“Fuck you! If you were really my friend then you wouldn’t push me, you asshole!”

“Shut up!” Theta cried. He stood up from his chair, his hands about ready to tear the hair right out of his skull. “If you morons keep shouting then someone is going to know that we’re in here. Now, I don’t know about you two imbeciles, but I want to know what’s in that stupid room so let’s just finish the box, find the key, and get the hell out of here.”

“Fine. I’m still telling Jelpax, though,” said Koschei, his eyebrows raised. He had crossed his arms, which made his black shirt slightly more threatening.

Drax wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his sweater before speaking. “Okay.” He sniffed, his eyes staring straight up at the ceiling rather than at Koschei. “I don’t even care. Just don’t—” He took a deep breath and ran a single hand over his face before speaking again. “Just don’t tell him that I yelled at you,” he said. “He gets mad when I yell.”

Koschei took a moment to consider what he said, then nodded. “Okay.”

Drax mustered up a smile, then spun around and took another deep breath. After a moment, he turned back around to face his friends. “Let’s find this key, shall we?” he beamed, as if nothing had happened at all.

They didn’t waste another moment before they started searching for the key. Drax told Theta and Koschei exactly what they were looking for—a key which would hopefully be labeled ‘Room 209’—and they went on the hunt for it while he finished putting the lock onto the box.

Drax was grateful that both of his friends had seemed to forget what had happened and hoped they wouldn’t bring it up again. If something really great was in the secret room, then Koschei might even forget to tell Jelpax at all. He could get away with it. That was the plan, at least. If he was even serious about his threats. Drax did find that a lot of Koschei’s threats were insincere.

It wasn’t until several minutes later when his phone buzzed while he was sifting through keys that he realized Koschei’s claims were not exaggerated. The message on his screen was from none other than Jelpax himself, and by the looks of it, he had heard what happened.

**JELPAX: Are you okay?**

Drax leaned back against the Headmaster’s desk and placed the keys in his hands into a smaller pile beside the main one before responding. He could look through them in a minute.

**ME: yeah**

He was almost hoping that Jelpax would take that as a solid answer and either not respond or just send something simple, like “okay”, but he knew his friend better than that and he wasn’t the least bit surprised when the messages went further.

**JELPAX: Ok**

**JELPAX: Do u want to talk later?**

**ME: no**

**JELPAX: Are you sure you’re ok?**

**ME: yes**

**JELPAX: wyd**

Drax hesitated before responding. He didn’t know what he should say. For Jelpax, that might have been asking what he was actually doing (so he could come bug him), or what he was trying to do by sending one-word responses. Drax didn’t want to answer either question.

**ME: nothing. Stop messaging me. Don’t u have homework???**

**JELPAX: Yes. So do u. Come here and do it with me. I want to talk to u.**

**ME: no. Stop messaging me**

**JELPAX: Fine, I’ll call u**

**ME: nonononono don’t. I’m somewhere I’m not supposed 2 b and I’ll get in trouble if some1 hears my phone :/**

**JELPAX: lmao**

**JELPAX: text me when ur finished with ur stunt. I’ll put on the kettle and we can talk, ok?**

Drax stopped to think about his response before typing it. He hated that Jelpax was always there for him almost as much as he loved it. It was annoying sometimes, but it was also nice to have someone like him. Just as he was beginning to type out his response, another message came through and he couldn’t help but smirk when he read it.

**JELPAX: btw, some of that talking is going to be homework**

**JELPAX: I saw ur to-do pile. It’s sad**

**JELPAX: do u realize that one of these was due 3 YEARS AGO??**

**ME: lol :)**

**JELPAX: :)? Does that mean we’re going to talk?**

**ME: k**

**JELPAX: ::)**

**ME: tf is that**

**JELPAX: alien smiley**

**ME: lol ok then. C u l8r**

**JELPAX: ::)**

Though he was still slightly annoyed, Drax felt better as he resumed sorting the keys. Even though he knew he wasn’t going to tell Jelpax what _really_ happened, he was happy to have someone to talk to. Not to mention that he was really looking forward to that tea, even if it did come with the unfortunate companion known as homework.

“Was that Jelpax?”

Koschei’s voice startled Drax. “Yeah,” he said.

“Sorry that I told him.” For once, Koschei sounded genuinely apologetic. “I was just worried.”

“It’s fine.” Drax shrugged. “I probably would have told him anyway. You’ve just saved me two days of awkward silences, really.”

Theta chuckled but said nothing. Koschei glanced over at him as he sorted through the keys, then turned his attention back to Drax. “Okay. You’re all right now though, right?”

“Hm?” The question almost didn’t even register in Drax’s head and it took him a few seconds to respond. “Oh, yeah. I’m fine.”

“Are you sure? Because your ha—”

“I know,” he snapped. “Everybody keeps saying that, but it’s fine, okay? Just don’t worry about it.”

Koschei sighed. “All right.”

They both turned their focus back to sorting the keys, and no one spoke for the next several minutes as they hunted. Theta was the one to break the silence, when he suddenly exclaimed, “Oh! Oh, my god! Guys, look! Look!”

Koschei and Drax both looked up as soon as they heard Theta, who was sitting on the floor besides the chair he had sat in earlier.

“Theta, no one cares what you found,” said Koschei. “Get back to sorting.”

“Okay, I’ll just put this key back then.” He held up the key in his hand. It had a small tag on it, which read, ‘Room 209’.

A few seconds of silence passed as they all sat there in shock, none of them able to believe that they actually found it.

“Let’s go,” said Theta, breaking the silence once again. “It’s time to find out what they’re hiding from us.”

//

“…anyway, I think that it’s probably gone.”

“You _think_?” Magnus snapped. He couldn’t believe that after going on and on about the reality of the spider for forty-five minutes, that was how he chose to finish. “You _think_ the spider is gone? Well, I _think_ that there was never a spider in the first goddamn place, you just wanted an excuse to make me talk to you because you are a friendless loser.”

“That is true and it does sound like something that I would do, but you’re wrong,” said Mortimus. “I really did see a spider. Seriously. I just think that Ushas was right earlier, and it probably ran off by now. After all, I haven’t seen it in hours.”

Magnus opened his mouth to speak, then stopped. There was one thing he could do to seriously mess with Mortimus and even though it would cost him a few hours of stress babbling, he couldn’t pass up the opportunity for revenge. He grinned as he turned around in his seat, making sure to regain his poker face before he locked eyes with Mortimus.

“Do you think that the spider got lost in your stuff?” he asked.

Mortimus’s face fell faster than the lunch lady from the tree. “I—oh, god. I hope not.” He glanced over at his side of the room nervously. “You don’t really think that it’s in there, do you?”

“I think that it’s highly possible. I mean, I’ve seen actual _people_ get lost in your stuff before. I wouldn’t doubt that a spider could get swept up in that shit.”

“Well, crap. What are we going to do?”

“I guess that you’ll have to clean your side of the room.”

“Or I could run. It would have to die in there eventually, right?”

“Honestly?” Magnus scoffed. “Your stuff is so disgusting that it’s probably already dead.”

“Good point.” He nodded. “I like your thinking. I’m still going to leave for a little bit, though. Not because I’m afraid of it or anything,” he added quickly. “I just, uh, I have to go talk to someone really quick. I might not be back until really late, so don’t stay up waiting for me. Bye.”

Magnus chuckled as Mortimus turned and and ran full blast out of the room, not bothering to close the door behind him. His plan worked—he finally managed to get rid of Mortimus, even if it was only for one night.

//

Theta, Drax, and Koschei stood in front of the locked door in complete silence. None of them felt that it would be right to be the first to speak, as they would probably just start a discussion about who should be the one to open the door. They were all right, of course, so when one of them finally spoke, that was exactly what happened.

“So, uh, who’s going to open it?” asked Drax, tearing his eyes away from the door to look at his friends.

Koschei turned to Theta. “He has the key,” he said, pointing a finger at his friend. “He can do it.”

“Okay.” Theta nodded cautiously and approached the door the same way. He placed the key into the lock but did not turn it. “Guys, what if there’s something super horrible in there?”

“There won’t be,” Drax reassured him. He rolled his eyes. “It’s probably just an abandoned study room or something. But ooh! What if there was some big conspiracy here that they’re trying to cover up?”

“That would be so cool,” said Koschei. “We could be the ones to bust in and expose them! God, let’s do _that_.”

“If it even is some weird conspiracy room.” Theta was tapping his foot impatiently. “Now, are you guys going to shut up so that I can open it?”

“I thought you were worried about something weird being in there.”

“I got over it.”

“Okay, then open the door.”

“Fine, I will.”

Drax and Koschei watched in anticipation as Theta placed the key into the lock and opened the door, revealing the coveted room inside of it.

//

Drax yawned as he pushed the door to his dorm open. The adventure to open room two-zero-nine had gone on for hours and he was exhausted. Not to mention the fact that he had missed dinner, which threw him off so badly he forgot what he had said to Jelpax earlier, and he entered the room hoping that he would get to go straight to bed.

“Hi,” he said, waving lamely.

Jelpax looked up from his book. “Hello. Are you ready to talk now?”

“What?” He frowned, his eyes widening slightly as realization dawned on him. “Oh, right. No.”

“All right, but you have to tell me what happened over there—” he gestured to Drax’s desk “—or I’m not sharing my tea.”

Drax shrugged. “Nothing happened over there.”

Of course, both him and Jelpax knew that wasn’t true. There were ripped up papers littering his desk, and even a few broken pencils. In the middle of the desk was a finished picture, which was clearly water damaged. None of this bothered Drax as he looked over, though, as he figured he could blame all of it on his clumsiness. However, his eyes went wide when he noticed what he had left near his lamp. He took a step towards the desk, then froze when Jelpax spoke.

“Don’t bother hiding it, Drax. I already saw it.”

And so, instead of continuing on his way to his desk, Drax flopped onto his bed, his face landing in the pillows. He heard when Jelpax walked over to him and placed a cup of tea on his nightstand, but he ignored him, even when he sat down on the bed. He couldn’t talk to him. He couldn’t even look at him.

Even though they had been friends since they were tiny, Drax didn’t let Jelpax in on all the secrets he kept from everybody else. Not the ones that he didn’t want to talk about, or the ones that he wanted to pretend didn’t even exist. He tried so hard to hide everything about it, to keep anyone from finding out, and he blew it.

So, as he lay there in his bed, just about ready to fade out of existence as Jelpax quickly ran a hand through his messy hair to smooth it out, the only thing he could be happy about was the fact that his friend hadn’t seen one of his other bottles.

“Drax—”

“Don’t talk to me.” His voice came out slightly harsher than he had intended, but he didn’t feel bad about it. Not that time.

“Come on, Drax, I—”

“Leave me alone. I don’t want to talk to you.”

“No.” This time it was Jelpax’s voice that came out sharp. “I’m not going anywhere until you explain this to me.”

“Oh, stop being such a girl,” he snapped. He sat up and turned to look at Jelpax. “We don’t need to talk about everything.”

He pulled back, opening some space between them. “Yes, we do. If we don’t then you’re just going to avoid me for two weeks until you think I’ve forgotten about this and I don’t want to do that with you again. Also, I’m not going to forget about it, so it’s completely pointless to do that.”

Drax dropped back down onto his pillows, this time lying on his side, turned away from Jelpax. “I don’t want to talk about it,” he said quietly.

“All right, then let’s talk about something else,” Jelpax suggested. “What do you take them for?”

“Shut up. That’s the same subject. Just stop talking to me.”

“No. Not until you tell me.”

“No.”

“Okay, then why did you rip up all of those papers?” he asked.

“Because they were ugly.”

“Is that why you had a meltdown?”

Drax rolled his eyes, then blinked the tears out of them. “I didn’t.”

“Yes, you did.” He sighed. “Come on, Drax, just talk to me.”

“It’s because I messed them up, okay?” He sniffed, blinking several times to clear his vision. “I was working on them and I messed them up and I kept having to start over. I was just frustrated.”

“And then you took the pills for what?” Jelpax asked calmly.

“I can’t—I can’t tell you.”

“Why not?”

“You know why,” he mumbled. “You already know why I take them, and you want to hear me say it, but I can’t. I can’t say it.”

Jelpax slid closer to him, prompting Drax to sit up and rest his head on his shoulder. They stayed still for a moment before Jelpax slid a warm hand on top of Drax’s cold, shaking one, and he nodded slowly.

“I told you,” he said, looking down at their interlaced fingers. “I told you that you knew.”

“Yeah,” Jelpax whispered. “Yeah, I did.”

“D’you want to have tea now?”

He nodded but didn’t pull away. “Of course.”

//

“So, what was in there?” asked Ushas, tapping her foot impatiently. They were at the Deca’s weekly meeting a few days later, and Theta, Koschei, and Drax had been telling the rest of the group about their adventure with the locked room. The story was far too long and dramatized for Ushas’s taste, and she wanted nothing more than for it to be over.

“Oh, it was just the professors’ lounge,” Theta answered, waving his hand in the air dismissively.

Vansell’s jaw dropped. “You made us listen to you three idiots babble for half an hour just to end the story with ‘it was the professors’ lounge’?”

“What? It’s not like I’m going to modify the story to make it cooler than it was. Honestly, the whole thing was pretty mediocre aside from Koschei’s fantastic recreation of the box that we broke.” He made a face. “Hey, how did you make that?” he asked, turning to face Koschei. “You don’t take woodwork.”

“I guess I just have a natural talent,” he answered coolly.

“Really?” Drax raised an eyebrow. “I thought that you just paid someone else to do it for you and maybe gave them some extra money not to tell anyone.”

“Why—Why would I do that?” asked Koschei, attempting a scoff.

“Because you suck at woodwork.”

He blew a raspberry. “As if.”

“Hey, let’s stop this before you idiots start arguing again,” said Magnus, holding up a hand. “We all heard enough of that when you started talking about the ‘who gets to do what’ thing.”

Theta rolled his eyes. “Fine. That concludes our story, then. Stage is yours, Ushas.”

Him and the other two retreated back to their seats as Ushas took center stage in front of Borusa’s desk.

“Anyone else have anything to say?” she asked.

Magnus raised his hand and did not wait to be called on before speaking. “Did anyone else see a spider on the windowsill?”

“I’m out.” Mortimus threw his hands into the air and grabbed his backpack as he leapt out of his seat. He didn’t say another word as he retreated out of the room, and even though Magnus knew that only he and Ushas fully understood the joke, he thought it was worth it.

“So,” she said, looking around the room. Her eyes fixed on the dark-haired boy sitting in the third row. “Vansell! You haven’t said anything yet. What have you been up to?”

He glanced over at Rallon so subtly that he didn’t even move his head. “Nothing, really.”

“Whole lot of stuff to be calling nothing,” Rallon muttered.

“What did you say?” asked Ushas, raising an eyebrow.

“Nothing. I was just agreeing with V.”

“Don’t call me that,” said Vansell.

“Why not?” he asked, his tone harsh. “Got a problem with it?”

“Yeah. It sounds like a stupid little girl’s name.”

“And Vansell doesn’t?”

Koschei cut Vansell off before he could retaliate. “All right, can one of you two babies just tell us what happened instead of us making you listen to your stupid fight?” he asked.

“Nothing happened,” said Vansell, drumming his fingers impatiently. “Can we just move on now? There’s much more important things to talk about.”

“If you say so.” Ushas picked up her clipboard, pushing past what had happened. Truth was, she couldn’t care less about Vansell and Rallon’s little squabble. “So, next on the agenda…”

Millennia tuned her friend out slightly as she began to read. It wasn’t intentional, but her speech was unbearably dull, and her mind was focused on her other friend; the one that she had taken into the woods a few days earlier. Her and Jelpax had never exactly been close, but since she had talked to him the previous day, she couldn’t get their conversations out of her head.

She had always known that he was a private person, but she thought it was because he had nothing to hide and nothing to prove. However, after getting him to know better, she learned that maybe that wasn’t true.

Millennia felt that there was more to him than just apathy and occasional sass. She knew that if she could spend just a little bit more time with him, she could figure it out. Despite this, she knew that it would have to wait. She had plans with Rallon after school and commitments come first, especially when those commitments involved Rallon.

She sighed, then blinked back to reality just in time to hear Koschei start up yet another argument with Ushas.


	10. Personal Worst

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Millennia tries to figure out who swapped her test answers. Theta and Koschei tutor each other. Drax fails to write an essay.

“Fail? I failed?”

The sad tone of Millennia’s voice pained Rallon. She sounded so disappointed over such a small thing and he couldn’t stand to hear it. The look on her face was even more depressing, and he wanted nothing more than to give her a hug.

“How—How could I have failed?” she wailed, clutching her paper tightly. “I studied day and night for this test. Literally! I studied at meals, between classes, even instead of sleeping some nights. I just don’t understand how this happened.”

Rallon wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “Honestly, I have no idea. Maybe the professor was drunk while grading them. I mean, look at mine!” He held up his paper, which had ‘79%’ written on it. “Everyone knows that I didn’t study enough for that.”

“That is true.” Millennia sighed. She was good friends with Rallon, and she didn’t want to hurt his feelings, but sometimes you just had to be honest. “Hey, wait. Do you think that maybe someone switched our answers? No offense.”

He glanced down at his paper. “No,” he said, “because you would have gotten better than this.”

“Yeah, I guess so.” She ran a hand through her hair. “But wait. Maybe someone switched only my test so that they could pass. I definitely wouldn’t put it past some of these guys.” She gestured to the students walking around them in the hall.

“Oh, sure, agreed. I’d ask that guy about it first.” Rallon smiled and used his free hand to gesture to a boy walking past them, who looked particularly shady.

“Rallon,” Millennia moaned, “I’m serious. I think that someone’s cheated me.” She placed her paper back into her bag before crawling out of his grip. She spun in front of him and took both of his hands into her own. “What do you think I should do?”

Rallon did have a response before Millennia had taken hold of his hands, but he suddenly couldn’t remember what it was. All that he could think about was the fact that Millennia, _the_ Millennia, was holding his hands. They were holding hands!

“Rallon?”

He had to blink a few times to break out of his fantasy. He was only able to find his way back to reality when Millennia let go of his hands and started to snap her fingers in his face. It wasn’t just annoying; it killed his perfect moment. Well, at least he had gotten to hold her hands for a few seconds.

“Sorry, my mind was wandering,” said Rallon quickly. “I think that if you think that someone cheated you and you’re really sure of it then you should absolutely try to figure out it so that you can get the grade you deserve.” He didn’t take a single breath while speaking and once he was finished, he crossed his fingers, hoping that his response was appropriate, even counting the words that she had spoken during his daydream.

Luckily for him, Millennia nodded, the edges of her lips curling into a smile. “You’re right,” she said, “I should. I don’t have to take this. I earned that grade fair and square and I don’t like them walking around with my hard work.” She took a deep breath and turned around so that she was walking beside him again. “All right, Rallon, let’s make a plan, shall we?”

//

“Professor Quendria? Can I talk with you for a moment?”

The professor seemed to know what her student wanted before he even spoke. “Yes, Koschei?” she asked.

“Um, I was wondering if there was any chance you might be able to curve my grade?”

“Of course.” She smiled, her blue eyes lighting up. “Hand me your paper.”

Koschei breathed a sigh of relief when he handed his paper back to the professor. He had been certain that she would say no, and it was beyond his wildest expectations to hear her agree to do it. He smiled when he handed the paper back to him.

“Thank you, Professor,” he said. “I really, really appreciate you—what the hell is this?”

The grade on his paper was not raised but crossed out. Beside it the painfully low number was rewritten in loopy cursive. She hadn’t adjusted his grade; she had literally curved the numbers. Despite his anger, Koschei instantly regretted his choice of words, as the expression on Professor Quendria’s face looked ready to lower his grade even further.

“Watch your tongue, Koschei,” she said, her voice sharp. “And to answer your question, that is the only way that I will ever curve your grade. I am not going to let you get away with not practicing. If you get a low score, you get a low score. There’s nothing that I can do about it.”

“But I am practicing!” The sentence came out sounding whiny, which was not how Koschei had intended it. “I mean, I really am putting in the effort, there are just other classes that I need to focus my priorities on. No offense, but art is far from the most important class that I take.”

“I understand that. I do. It’s just that you’re not putting in any effort. If you gave me a paper like you did and it was terrible, but you put some thought into it, I probably would have given you a low pass. However, the paper you turned in wasn’t even worthy of that.”

Koschei sighed. He needed to come up with another way to get a better grade. He was already getting low enough scores as it was, and he couldn’t afford to fail art class, even if it wasn’t that important to him. It would still be counted as a failed class and he couldn’t have that messing up his record.

“Okay,” he said, “I know that you can’t do anything about the paper that I’ve already turned in, but what if I gave you another one? I know it’s late, but I could work on it all weekend and turn it in at the next class. I could even get Theta to help me. You know how much he loves this stuff. He would never let me get away without doing it properly.”

Professor Quendria nodded slowly, and Koschei breathed a sigh of relief. “All right, then,” she said. “Tell Theta Sigma that I want to see him by the end of the day to get his confirmation on this. If I don’t see him then I’m taking away your extension.”

“Deal. I’ll talk to him as soon as I see him next. Thank you so much, Professor.”

Koschei fled the room before she had a chance to change her mind. He took a moment to stop and breathe when he got out into the hallway, relieved that he came out on the top of the conversation.

As soon as he felt ready, he ran off down the halls. He had to find Theta as soon as possible.

//

Jelpax grinned down at the paper in front of him. He had done it yet again. He had gotten top marks; just like on all of the other assignments he had turned in that week. It wasn’t a remarkable thing for Jelpax, but he was still proud of his grades, especially since he had initially had so little confidence in his essay’s topic.

He didn’t have much time to be happy for himself before someone appeared beside him, a blank expression on his face. Jelpax turned to look at Drax and attempted to decipher what he was thinking. He only spoke when he realized that Drax was not holding onto a paper, like everyone else walking out of the classroom.

“Hey, Drax?” he began slowly, hoping that he was wrong in his assumptions. “Where’s your paper? Didn’t you get your grade?”

“What?” Drax frowned, then shook his head as a look of recognition crossed his face. “Oh, no. Nope.”

“What? Why?”

Drax was hesitant to respond, which let Jelpax know that whatever he was going to say, he was not going to like it. “I didn’t exactly do the assignment,” he said eventually. Drax did not seem regretful nor sorry about what he said, and it irritated Jelpax.

“You didn’t even do it?” he gaped, his grip tightening around his own paper.  “You didn’t even try?”

“Yeah, you know, I had so many other classes, and way too much stuff to do.” He waved a hand in the air dismissively. “I thought about it a lot, but in the end,  I really had no choice but to drop something. It just wasn’t possible for me to get everything done in the amount of time that I had.”

“And yet it was possible for everyone else in your classes to get it done?” Jelpax rolled his eyes. “You are an absolute imbecile.”

Drax nodded, his bangs bouncing on his forehead. “Yeah, I know. Truth is that I totally could have done it if I hadn’t spent so much time tinkering with our wall clock. I guess that’s just who I am, though.”

“A horrible procrastinator?”

“No. Someone who prioritizes clocks over classes.”

To that day, Jelpax still couldn’t believe that the reason they were friends was not related to their shared use of sarcasm. “Okay, well, did you get an extension?”

“Not exactly.”

He rolled his eyes. “Did you even try to get one? Even if she only gives you until tonight, we can make that happen.”

“I know, I know.” Drax paused and chewed his lower lip lamely. “See, the thing is, I just don’t really want to do it. I know that I could, and you would help me, but I just don’t really want to do it. The way I see it, I’ve not even failed an assignment. I’ve gotten out of doing one completely.”

“You haven’t gotten out of anything,” Jelpax snapped. “All you’ve done is bought yourself a fail. You might not know it because it’s not stamped onto a piece of paper but that’s going onto your class report as either a fail or an incomplete. Guaranteed.”

“Oh, well. I wasn’t doing very well in this class anyway.”

“Exactly! If you keep failing assignments, then you’re going to fail the class as a whole. That’s what we have to prevent and that’s why you’re going to go back in there and spend your lunch hour convincing him to give you another day.”

“Do I really have to?” he groaned. “I really, really don’t want to do this stupid assignment. It wasn’t like it was anything important anyway. He didn’t even give us a topic to write about.”

“That’s because the subject doesn’t matter.” Jelpax shook his head. “It’s Gallifreyan class, you dolt.”

“Wait, so he doesn’t even care about what we write? God, I knew I hated this class for a reason.”

“Oh, my god. You are driving me insane, Drax. Just go back in there and talk to her, okay? Do it.”

“Fine.” Drax reluctantly went back into the classroom, but not without shooting Jelpax one last death glare, which went completely ignored.

//

“Theta, I’ve finally found you!”

Koschei slid into the seat next to his best friend, who was sitting at the Deca’s usual lunch table with nothing but a soda in front of him.

“Yes, you have,” said Theta. He nodded slowly, as if he was talking to an idiot. “What a wonder that I’m here during lunch hour.” He rolled his eyes. “So, what do you want?”

“I need your help with art class,” he answered, ignoring his friend’s attitude. “It’s urgent.”

He smirked. “I’ve been waiting for this day for years. I always knew that it would come down to this; you asking me for help because you can’t even draw a stick figure.”

“No, Theta,” said Koschei. He sighed. “The stick figure part might be true, but I don’t need help drawing anything. I’m talking about that paper we had to write about whatever that genre of art was. I failed that and I have to redo it.”

“What?” His face fell. “I have to help you write a paper? God, that’s not even a little bit fun.”

“But attempting to teach me how to draw is?”

“Yeah, because at least then I would get to laugh at you.” Theta sighed and rested his chin on the back of his hands. “You know, I’m not sure that I’m going to help you. I really don’t want to have to write that stupid paper again.” He paused, the clear look of a fresh idea crossing his eyes as he suddenly sat up straighter. “Unless…”

“Unless what?” asked Koschei hesitantly.

“Unless you want to help me with geography?” He offered the idea cautiously, as if he expected his friend to say no.

“If that means you’ll help me with art, then sure. Deal.”

“Seriously?” He grinned. “Because I’m not even failing yet. I’m only about to fail.”

“Close enough. Meet after classes?”

“Okay. Where?”

Koschei shot him a look. “Where do you think?”

“I know.” Theta chuckled. “Don’t be late.” He glanced down at his watch. “I have to go talk to Borusa.”

“Oh, yeah. You’ve got to stop in to see Professor Quendria as well.”

“What? Shit.”

Theta sighed as he walked out of the room, and as Koschei watched him go, he couldn’t help but wonder whether Theta would actually help him or if he had made a huge mistake.

//

“Okay, I know that this was my idea, but I’m suddenly realizing that it’s a really bad idea, so is there any chance that we can still back out of it?”

Rallon hadn’t realized exactly what he was getting into when he agreed to concoct a plan with Millennia. He had failed to come up with any ideas when she asked, so he ended up blurting out things he had seen in media, and, unfortunately, Millennia latched onto one of those ideas. It was one of the really stupid ones he had seen in a film, which consisted of breaking to the professor’s office and checking out all of the test papers that had been turned in.

“No.” Millennia’s voice was firm, and Rallon knew immediately that there was no changing her mind.

“All right.” He sighed as he peeked into the room. “Just don’t take too long in there. Unless it takes a long time, of course. But as soon as you find the papers you need to just go through them as fast as you can, okay?”

She giggled. “Are you scared that we’re going to get caught?”

“No. I’m scared that you’re going to get caught. If someone catches you in there, snooping through the papers, they’ll probably think you’re searching for the answers to the next test or something. It’ll just reinforce the idea that you’re too brilliant. Not that that’s a bad thing, of course,” he added quickly.

“I know it’s risky, but I have to do this. You know that someone’s cheated me and I don’t want to let them get away with it. That being said, you can back out now if you’re too frightened, because I don’t really need a guard.”

Rallon didn’t respond for several seconds, shocked by Millennia’s offer. Still, he would never leave her to do such a risky thing on her own. “Okay, I’m in,” he said. “Just make sure that you don’t make a huge mess in there. I’m rubbish at cleaning.”

“Thank you.” Millennia shot him a smile before heading into the office, leaving him behind in the dark hallway.

She clicked on her torch as soon as she was in the room. She knew that turning on the lights wouldn’t be a good idea, as it would attract more attention, so she had opted to bring the smallest torch she could find.

It was Millennia’s first time going through with a scheme that she had come up with on her own and though she was normally really jumpy when doing rule-breaking things with her friends, she found that she wasn’t so scared while hunting for the grades that night.

She tiptoed over to the desk and slid open the top drawer, hoping that their papers would be in there. Of course, that would be far too convenient, and they weren’t. She checked through the next two drawers and found that they were all filled with boring office supplies, prompting her to check the bottom drawer. She pulled it open slowly, bracing herself for the worst.

“Bingo,” she whispered, as soon a she spotted the folders in the drawer in front of her. She reached in and pulled out the one with her name on it, and gasped when she opened it.

The handwriting on her quiz was not her own, nor were the answers upon it.

It was exactly as she had expected—someone had switched their tests. She still hadn’t the faintest idea why they would do that, but she knew at that point that it was true, even if she didn’t want to admit it. She had proof. Millennia knew that the next step was to find her actual answers, so she did what she had to and opened the next folder.

It was after the fourteenth folder that she finally gave up. It was clear that there were way too many folders for her to go through on her own, and the odds of her finding the one with her answers were slim. With her luck it would probably end up being one of the students with a Z name.

Having accepted that there was nothing more that she could do on her own, Millennia placed everything back where she found it and exited the room swiftly.

“Did you find anything?” asked Rallon.

She shook her head, her blue hair whipping around her cheeks. “No. Someone did switch my answers, but I don’t know who it was. I can’t go through every paper so we’re going to have to find some potential suspects.”

“How are we going to do that?”

“I don’t know, but we’ll have to figure it out. I’m not going to stop until I find out who made me fail.”

As much as he wanted it not to be, Rallon knew that it was true, and he chased after her as she made her way down the hall. Someday he would get over his crush. Someday.

//

Jelpax slapped Drax across his shoulder, a look of sheer disbelief in his eyes. He knew that Drax was not the smartest of his friends, but he never would have thought that he would do something so unbelievably stupid.

“I can’t believe that you actually said that,” he said, shaking his head. “Were you trying to get her to give you a lower grade?”

The two of them had met back up at lunch after Drax had spoken to their professor about the possibility of him getting an extension, and to say the least, Jelpax was not pleased about how the conversation had gone.

“Technically I couldn’t have gotten a lower grade,” Drax pointed out. He rubbed his shoulder where Jelpax had slapped him. “I didn’t get a grade at all, remember? That’s what happens when you don’t do the assignment.”

“Right.” Jelpax ran a hand through his curly red hair as he attempted to think through the situation. He rested his hand against his forehead. “Is she still making you do the next assignment?”

“Yeah.”

“God,” he muttered. “Okay, so that means that you have to come up with a topic.”

“What? Why?”

Jelpax sighed. “Because that was the point of the last assignment. You know, the one that you didn’t do? It’s a two-part assignment, you dolt. You have to have a topic to do the second half.”

“Damn, okay.” Drax drummed his fingers against the cafeteria table distractedly, then looked over to Jelpax. “Hey, uh, what’s your topic?”

He froze. “I’m not telling you,” he said, adding in a slightly forced scoff.

“Why?” he asked. “I’m not going to copy you. I just want ideas.”

Even though he sounded genuine, Jelpax didn’t budge. “You’ll cheat.”

“No, I won’t.”

“All right, well, I don’t want you using my project as inspiration. I want you to come up with something totally original. You can basically write about anything, so I don’t think that you even really need inspiration.”

“Okay, then how about I do erotica?” He had a childish grin on his face as he spoke, along with a challenging look in his eyes.

Jelpax rolled his eyes. “I’m pretty sure that’s the one thing that you can’t do.”

“What?” Drax feigned shock. “Why?”

“Because it’s wildly inappropriate. Now, we need to choose an actual topic. Have you got anything? Any ideas at all?”

He shook his head and sighed. “I could, uh… write about why I didn’t do the first assignment?”

“Genius!”

“What?” Drax had been far from serious in his suggestion, but it was easy to tell that Jelpax was not being sarcastic in his praise. “But that’s stupid.”

“No, no, no. Look, we have a few different options on how we can do this, so if you choose to write a persuasive essay, you might be able to convince her to not mark you as incomplete for that last one.”

“That would be nice, but I’m pretty sure that she already did.”

“Could be.” He nodded. “Although the professors don’t send in the student grades for a few more weeks, so you actually still have time to convince her to curve it.”

He raised an eyebrow. “How do you know when they send the grades in?”

“Uh, well, I just know. There’s no specific reason.”

“If you say so.”

“Are you two ever actually going to work on this thing or are you just going to keep beating around the bush and babbling at each other all day? Because this is honestly quite painful to watch.”

Drax jumped. In the midst of their conversation, he had nearly forgotten that they were not alone in the dining hall but were sitting at the same table as Ushas.

“I’m serious,” she added. “You’re going to miss the deadline if you don’t come up with something soon.”

“Shut up.” Drax reached onto his plate and grabbed a chip, then threw it at her. She caught it and tossed it onto the table, her look of disgust less than subtle. “Can you just bother with your own business and leave us alone? I’m sure you have something better to do. You always have.”

“That’s true.” Ushas nodded. “See, the only reason I’m sitting here bugging you is because I’m waiting for my stupid lab partner to arrive. He’s over twenty minutes late already and I’m beginning to think that he’s never going to show.”

“Any chance your lab partner is Epsilon?” asked Jelpax.

“God, I wish. He’s probably smarter than the moron I’m partnered with now.”

Drax’s jaw dropped. “Holy shit. He’s got to be the stupidest person to ever exist.”

“Yeah.” Ushas sighed and nodded glumly. “Exactly. That’s why I’m completely doomed. I’m never going to be able to get a good grade if this idiot doesn’t even bother to show up.”

“That’s not true.” Jelpax scoffed. “I mean, I don’t know who this guy is, but you’re probably smarter than seventeen of him combined. Plus, if he’s really that bad, you should just tell the professor. I’m sure that he can help you sort it out.”

“Mm hm. Sure. That’s a great idea.”

He was not amused by her sarcasm. “Honestly, Ushas. What was wrong with my suggestion?”

“You said that I should go complain to my professor.” She rolled her eyes. “Do you even know how bad that looks?”

“I wasn’t suggesting that you complain. I was suggesting that you go and have a civil discussion about the lack of participation from your partner. Is that a synonym for complaining now?”

“It might as well be,” Ushas sneered. She stood up and flipped her hair over her shoulder, then walked away from the table, one hand on her hip and the other holding the strap of her backpack.

Drax scoffed. “Women,” he said, shaking his head.

//

“So?”

Koschei stared at Theta hopefully. They had been studying for the last hour, and under Theta’s request, Koschei had drawn something, which his friend was looking at when he spoke. He was hoping for a positive review, as he truly believed that it was one of the best things he had ever drawn.

Theta didn’t know that. He shook his head slowly, staring disgustedly at the picture that Koschei had drawn. It was not just poorly drawn, but one of the worst images he had ever come across in his short life.

“Oh, god, no. No. No!” He suddenly tore the paper in half and started ripping it to shreds. “It is a damn good thing that this assignment is to write a report because if it was about actual artistic talent than you’d be laughed out of the Academy.”

“Really?” His face fell. “Oh, well. Let’s just get to work on actually doing the report then, eh? Why were we even drawing in the first place?”

“Because I was trying to make you understand why people find pleasure in drawing. You, in turn, drew that horrible thing apparently not knowing the purpose of the task. Maybe you would have put more in if you actually listened to me when I’m giving you instructions.”

Koschei shrugged. “I’m not so sure about that. After all, that was probably one of the best things I’ve ever drawn. How could it be so bad?”

“Son of a bitch! That’s the best thing you’ve ever drawn?” He pointed down to the ripped-up pieces of paper which littered the floor. He stood up and started to jump up and down on them, scuffing them and making them even more crumpled.

“Yeah, I’m not very artistic, Thete.”

He stopped jumping. “Damn right you’re not!”

“Theta, calm down. You’re doing that thing again.”

“What thing?” he asked, narrowing his eyes. He took a step closer to Koschei, intentionally stepping on the paper as he walked.

“The thing where you cuss at me a whole bunch because you’re frustrated.” He stood up and walked over to the dark, wooden nightstand, then picked up the geography book from atop it and brought it back to his seat. “How about we work on this instead? Your assignment is important too and let’s be honest, we’re not getting anywhere with mine.”

“That’s true. You fucking idiot.”

“Seriously, Theta. Stop it.”

“Sorry.” He sat down on his bed and grabbed his own geography book, then flipped it open to a random page. “So, what are we going to start with?”

Koschei reached over and flipped back several pages in the book. “First, we’re going to open it to an actual page. That was the glossary, Thete.”

“What the fuck is a glossary?”

He made a face. “Okay, before we can get to any geography, I need to teach you what a glossary is.”

“Is it not geography?” asked Theta, furrowing his brow.

“No. Not even a little bit.”

“Then what is it doing in a geography book?”

Koschei rolled his eyes. “There’s a glossary in every textbook they give us. How the hell do you not know what they are?”

“I don’t know.”

“Please.” Koschei scoffed before launching into a brief explanation of glossaries. Theta listened intently, his eyes never once leaving Koschei’s face the entire time that he was explaining.

“Do you understand now?” he asked, his eyes meeting Theta’s.

Theta nodded. “Yeah. I mean, I already knew what they were, but it was fun making you explain it to me.”

“Shut up.” Koschei punched him in the shoulder, and he rubbed the spot he had been hit.

“Ow. That really hurt!”

“It did not, you baby.”

“You’re right. It didn’t. Should we get to the geography now?”

He sighed. He really, really did not want to, but he knew that there was no use putting it off.

“Yeah,” he said. “Let’s get it over with.”

//

“I get what you’re saying,” said Rallon, “I just don’t see how you’re justifying it.”

Rallon had been with Millennia for over an hour at that point, and though he normally would have been thrilled to spend that much time with her, it was almost becoming intolerable. She was trying to figure out who might have tampered with her grade by going through all the other students in her class who might have taken the same test.

He had been interested at first, even sitting on her bed and looking through files with her, but he moved onto her desk chair several minutes earlier. He was resting his head in his hand, which was propped up by his arm.

“I explained this,” said Millennia, sighing. She was looking down at the note cards on the floor, sorting through them as she tried to figure out who her suspects were. “He was off with that girl so much that there was no way that he had time to study for the test.”

“Okay, but aside from that, you have no proof that he did it.”

“Chill out, Rallon. I’m not convicting him; he’s just going on the shortlist.”

“Oh, we’re calling it a shortlist now?” Rallon asked, raising an eyebrow.

Millennia looked up at him, her eyes narrowed. “Yes, Rallon, we’re calling it a shortlist.”

“Why?”

“Because it only has five out of twenty-six students in the pile. That’s short compared to the original list.”

“Six,” said Rallon, gesturing to the card in her hand. She rolled her eyes and placed it in the pile.

“Can you just stay quiet unless you’re going to say something helpful? I wanted this to be something fun for us to do, I didn’t want us to be arguing the entire time.”

A pang of guilt stabbed at Rallon’s chest. He knew that there was truth to what she had said, and he regretted having started their petty argument in the first place.

“Yeah, of course.” He nodded glumly. “Sorry, Mil. I didn’t mean to get everything all heated there. I just got a bit too into the whole thing, I suppose.”

“Then go back to not caring. I preferred that Rallon over the one taking interest.”

Rallon’s gaze turned down towards the floor, and he started to tap his fingers against his leg, just to have something to do with his hands.

Millennia had noticed Rallon’s change of posture when he had stopped talking. She placed the card in her hand back onto the floor and looked over at her friend. She wasn’t exactly worried about him, as she did notice him fidget quite often, but she was more concerned about that fact that he only seemed to do it when he was uncomfortable. Had she made him uncomfortable by confronting him?

“Hey, Rallon?” she said.

“Yeah?” He looked up, then realized that her bed was lower than the chair and adjusted his gaze to match the height of hers.

“Do you want to help me decide whether or not to put Lungin on the list?”

Rallon snorted. “His fat fingers couldn’t take your paper if he tried.”

“He’s not _that_ stupid, Rallon.”

“What? No, I meant it literally. His fingers wouldn’t fit into the submission box. They’re too fat.”

Millennia couldn’t help but laugh despite the rude comment. “You’re right,” she said. “I’ll put him into the innocent pile.”

“Whoa.” Rallon gasped. “Did you just agree to an insult?”

She nodded. “Yes. I mean, it’s not like it was _that_ rude. You were really just saying the truth. His fingers couldn’t fit into that box. Now, if you were making fun of him for being fat, that’s a whole other issue.”

“Right.”

“Anyway, what do you think about Magnus?”

“No way.” He shook his head. “He is not that petty.”

//

“You don’t get it at all?”

Drax shook his head. He was blinking repeatedly, as his bangs had fallen into his eyes and were irritating them, but he didn’t bother to brush them away.

“Honestly,” he said, “this could be one big mash of letters and it would look the same to me. That’s about how well I understand this right now.”

“That makes no sense.” Jelpax rolled his eyes. “Here, look at this.” He handed Drax the book he had been reading out of. “Take a look at this and then tell me what parts of it you understand and what you don’t.”

“Okay.”

Drax spent several minutes reading over the paper before he finally shrugged and dropped it into his lap. “I don’t get any of it,” he said.

“Nothing? Still?”

“Nope. None of this makes the least bit of sense to me.”

Jelpax sighed. “All right,” he said, running a hand through his curly red hair. “All right, just hand it back to me and I’ll try to explain it again. We’ll figure this out at some point.”

“O—” Drax nearly said ‘okay’ but opted for another idea before he finished the word. He smiled mischievously. “No,” he said.

“No? What do you mean no?”

“I’m not going to give it back to you.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m super bored of this and I want to do something fun and keeping this from you is fun.”

Jelpax rolled his eyes again. “You’re an idiot, Drax. All you’re doing is hurting your own education.”

“I don’t care,” said Drax. “If you want this book back then you have to take it from me.” He stood up and waved the book around in the air as he took a step back onto their dark red rug. “Come and get it, Paxxy.”

He gasped. “You swore never to use that name again!”

“Do I look regretful?”

Jelpax was already going to go after Drax, but the nickname had thrown him over the edge. He stood up and practically dove towards Drax, who took off running to the other side of the room. They ran around in a circle several times before Jelpax managed to corner Drax at the door. He didn’t let that stop him but grabbed onto the handle and twisted the door open, making his escape quickly.

“Drax, stop! It’s past—oh, dammit!”

Despite the fact that it was past curfew, Jelpax ran after Drax. He chased him down the hallway but didn’t catch him until they had run halfway around the dormitory. He practically leapt onto Drax once he had finally caught up to him, and luckily, he was easy to stop once he was in range. Drax was incredibly thin, so Jelpax was able to get his arms around him easily with length to spare. The book was nearly in his grasp before a voice startled the both of them, and they froze where they stood.

“Well, well, what have we here?” said the sniveling, conniving voice. “A little passion in the hallway, hm? Or another one of your little Deca fights?”

Jelpax released his grip on Drax at the same time that he yanked out of it, dropping his arms—and the book—to his side limply.

“Hello, Runcible,” said Jelpax, keeping his voice level. Even if he didn’t like their hall monitor, he knew that Runcible was able to get him into trouble and he was not going to let his record be tarnished. “Out having a stroll, are you?”

“No.” Runcible scoffed and shook his head. His disgustingly greasy hair gave the illusion that it was made of plastic, as it did not move even a tiny bit as he shook his head around. “I’m the hall monitor, you dimwit.”

“I know that.” Jelpax smoothed out his white button-up, which had gotten crumpled when he had tackled Drax. “I was just trying to make some friendly conversation.”

“Well I can’t make _friendly_ conversation, but if you don’t care about the topic, how about you tell me what exactly you two are doing out of your rooms at this hour?”

“Room,” Drax said. “It’s singular. We’re roommates. Don’t you know that?”

“Uh, yes. Which makes me wonder all the more why you had to have your little feeling fest out here in the hallway.”

Jelpax rolled his eyes. “There was no ‘feeling fest’, Runcible. We were just messing around and it got a bit out of hand because this one—” he jabbed a thumb in Drax’s direction “—doesn’t give up easily.”

“If you say so.” Runcible crossed his arms in an attempt to look threatening, but he was too dorky to make it work. “I’m still not totally convinced that you’re actually telling the truth. That looked like a lot of touching and you can’t tell me I didn’t see what I saw.”

“No, but I can explain it,” he said. “I was just trying to get that book back from Drax.” He pointed to the book, which was held tightly in Drax’s increasingly white knuckles.

Runcible hesitated. “Well, that does sound believable, and it certainly makes more sense than you two weirdos having a gay affair… but you know,  I can get you into more trouble if I say that you were out here doing sexual things.”

“We’re kids! Why would we even want to do those things?” Drax’s jaw dropped as soon as the words left Runcible’s mouth. “I’m barely even over a hundred, and you think that I want to do _that_?”

“You’re not over a hundred,” said Jelpax. “You’re only in your seventies. And statistically that is a bit higher than the age when sex drives tend to kick in. That’s why Mortimus is just a sentient ball of horniness.”

“Well, Theta’s not into it.”

“I don’t think Theta’s even hit puberty yet.”

“Yeah, blah, blah, blah.” Drax waved a hand around, dismissing Jelpax’s words. “Anyway, we’ll be going back to our room now if you don’t mind. Some of us have things to do besides harassing people innocently walking down the hall.”

“Regardless of what you were doing,” Runcible sneered, “it’s not innocent if it’s past curfew.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. See ya later, Runt.”

Drax walked right past Runcible, flicking him with his middle finger as he walked by. Runcible winced, as if the very touch of Drax’s skin had burned through his robes.

Jelpax trailed behind him and shrugged at Runcible as he walked by. His threats were probably empty anyway.

//

“Well?” said Koschei. “What do you think?”

“What do I think?”

Theta walked around the canvas, looking the painting up and down as he did so. He moved in close to inspect the fine brush strokes, then stepped back to take a look of the piece as a whole. His expression was entirely blank, which made it hard for Koschei to figure out what he was thinking. He braced himself for what he might say.

“What do I think?” he repeated; his hazel eyes fixed on the painting. He reached down suddenly and grabbed the biggest brush out of the water cup, then dipped it into the black paint and drew a gigantic slash through Koschei’s painting.

“ _That_ ,” he said, “is what I think of it.”

Koschei stared at Theta in disbelief. He had ruined the painting that he had spent nearly an hour working on. Not only that, but he had splattered black paint all over the floor when he dragged the brush across the canvas. He had no painting to show for his work, _and_ the floor was ruined.

“Theta, why did you do that?” he asked, unable to keep all of the pain out of his tone.

He shrugged. “Because it was a piece of crap. I mean seriously. No living being should ever have to look at that. In fact, it was so ugly that I think I may be scarred for life.” He shook his head. “You could probably sell it to the government as a weapon. And no, I don’t mean that it would somehow magically kill people, I mean that it would induce mass suicide.”

“Hey, it wasn’t that bad.”

“Yes, it was.”

“Okay, so maybe it was, but that doesn’t give you the right to ruin it.” Koschei sighed and flopped down onto his bed. “That belonged to me. It was my piece of art. Now I’ll never be able to look back at that painting when I’m older and say ‘wow, I was a really shit painter’.”

“And you’ll thank me for that one day,” Theta insisted. “Just wait for it to dry and then you can keep it, okay? Just don’t look at it for like five-hundred years or something and then you can take a look at it. You can still see the corners of it, and when you finally revisit this painting, those corners are going to make you want to die. Then you will thank Rassilon—no, you’ll thank me—for making sure that you never had to see that atrocity in its entirety ever again.”

“If you say so.”

“I do.”

“Can we get back to the actual assignment now?” Koschei asked. “To be honest, I don’t even get why I had to do that. I’m supposed to be writing a paper!”

“I know,” said Theta. He rolled his eyes. “But you didn’t even understand the different types of art, so I was trying to get you into the zone. If you don’t make art, then you’re never going to be able to talk about it.”

“There’s more than one kind of art. Can’t I just learn to play an instrument or something?”

“No, but we can try that sometime after this. That’ll be your next elective, maybe, after you finally give up on art.”

“That was real nice, Thete.”

“I know. I’m a great friend.”

Koschei took a deep breath. He didn’t get annoyed with Theta often, but he was hitting his limit that day. At that point, he wasn’t sure that he would be able to take any more art tutoring without shooting himself—or Theta.

“Can we just try to get some of your geography stuff done?” he asked, hoping to change the subject. “I think it’s best if we take a break from my garbage art.”

“All right.” Theta shrugged. “Just be warned, I have gotten much better at this than when we first started.”

“Really?”

“Oh, yeah. I’ve been studying.”

His eyes went wide. “You studied? You actually studied?”

“Yeah.” He shrugged. “What’s the big deal? I study all the time.”

“No, you don’t.”

“Yes, I do.”

Koschei crossed his arms. “Then how come I’ve never seen you do it?”

“Because I study in the library,” said Theta. He rolled his eyes. “You make this room an intolerable working space, and thus I have to go somewhere else quiet just to get anything done.”

“Thete, I’m not in here all the time. Couldn’t you just do your homework while I’m gone?”

“No, because your side of the room is so untidy that I can’t even concentrate.” He glanced over at Koschei’s side of the room and scrunched up his face in disgust. “Blech!”

“Hey, your side of the room isn’t any better!”

That was probably one of the biggest lies that Koschei had ever told. If an outsider were to go into Theta and Koschei’s room and been asked to explain what exactly they had seen, they would describe the different sides of the room as polar opposites. Theta’s side of the room was absolutely spotless, while Koschei’s was an absolute pigsty, with stains and clutter littered about. Theta pretended that it didn’t bother him, but the entire place made him sick.

“How could you say that?”

“What?” asked Koschei mockingly. “Are your feelings hurt?”

“No,” said Theta. “I just don’t see how you could ever think that it would make sense to say that to me while we’re sitting beside the line of where I vacuum, and you do not.”

“Oh. Well, if you really care that much, you can clean it for me.”

“Okay.” He did a double take, then started to shake his head rapidly. “Wait, no! I’m not going to clean up that stuff for you. If you want it cleaned up, then you have to do it yourself.”

“I don’t want it cleaned up,” said Koschei. “I’m just saying that if you do, then you have my permission to clean it up whenever you want. I’m not going to stop you. So, if you see a crumb on the floor, or my bedding isn’t perfectly straight, you can go ahead and fix it.”

“Stop doing that. I know that you’re just trying to use reverse psychology on me. Well, guess what? It’s not going to work!”

“Isn’t it?”

“No. Wait, is that right?”

“Is what right?”

“Well, you confused me with how you phrased it, so I wasn’t sure if I created a double negative or not.”

“You did.”

“What? No!”

“Never mind.” Koschei shook his head. “Let’s just get back to the geography. We really don’t have time to be messing around right now.”

Theta narrowed his eyes. “Don’t we?”

//

“So, who are we going to ask first?”

Rallon was following Millennia down the dormitory hallway, peering over her shoulder at their assembled list of suspects. He wasn’t sure what order she had written them down in, and he wanted to be prepared for whoever they were going to talk to first.

“Julyudhuchiaviss,” said Millennia. She double-checked the room number on her list. “I haven’t talked to her in a while, so I figured that I would just ask if she has some sticky notes or something and then slip in a question about the test.”

“Okay. Hey, does she actually go by Julyudhuchiaviss?” asked Rallon. “Can’t I call her like, July or something? Anything with less consonants?”

“No, she only lets her friends call her that.”

“Really?” He groaned while Millennia knocked on the door. Moments later, it swung open, revealing the petite, pink-haired girl behind it.

“Hi, Julyudhuchiaviss.”

“Hey,” she said. “Did you need something?”

“Yeah,” Rallon cut-in, “I was wondering if I could call you July?”

She shrugged. “Yeah, I don’t care.”

“Okay.” He grinned at Millennia, who rolled her eyes.

“Anyway, I was actually wondering if you’ve got any spare sticky notes? I used mine up studying for that test yesterday.”

“Oh.” Her face fell slightly, but she kept her relatively cheery tone of voice. “Yeah, I’ve got some in all the colors in the rainbow. Which one would you like?”

“Have you got blue?”

“Of course! Come on in, it’ll only take a second.”

July left the door wide open as she turned around, allowing Rallon and Millennia to enter the room. It was, as Rallon had expected, the same as every other dorm room in the school; with dark red walls, deep orange curtains, and a floor to match. He stood next to Millennia awkwardly, vaguely listening as she spoke.

“So, how did you do on the test?” asked Millennia casually.

She sighed. “I got a seventy percent,” she answered, gesturing to the paper on her bed.

“Oh.” Millennia looked over at the paper, and Rallon knew that it was to confirm the grade. He could see it from where he was standing as well, and the number effectively removed July from their list. She didn’t have a high enough grade to have cheated.

They hurried out of the room as soon as they got the sticky notes, since they had no more business in there. Rallon breathed a sigh of relief when they were safely alone in the hallway.

“Who’s next?” he asked.

“Mortimus.”

“All right.”

They headed off to Mortimus and Magnus’s room. Millennia nearly knocked before they walked in, but Rallon got to the door first and just walked in, knowing well that Mortimus never locked their door.

“Hello,” said Millennia, as soon as she spotted Mortimus sitting on his bed. “Did you pass the test yesterday?”

“Yep.” He didn’t seem bothered by the sudden question but shrugged casually. “I got a perfect score.”

“Huh.” She frowned. “I failed. I think someone’s cheated me, though.”

“Oh, yeah. That was me.”

A wave of silence washed over the room, different emotions filling the air as the three people all reacted differently. Millennia was fuming, her normally friendly expression turning into a dark, angry one as she clenched her hands into fists. Mortimus went back to looking at his comic, as if there was nothing wrong with what he had done. Rallon simply stared at them, looking back and forth between them as he tried to fill his mind with happy thoughts.

 _They are not going to fight_ , he told himself. _They are not going to get mad at each other. No one is going to get hurt._

The third sentence was accurate, but the first two were not.

“ _You_ stole my paper?” Millennia said, her voice dripping with rage. “ _You_ cheated me out of a perfect score?”

Mortimus nodded. “Yeah. Didn’t I just say that?”

“But why—why would you… why would you do that?”

Rallon leaned in close to Millennia. “Calm down, Mil.”

“Because I was out with that girl, y’know? I didn’t have time to study.” He made a face. “Hey, do you remember what her name was? It was that blond chick.”

Millennia stomped over to him. “You stole my paper and ruined my grade just so that you could go out with some stupid girl, and you can’t even remember what her name is?”

He shrugged. “So?”

“Come here!” She dove towards him, her hands reaching up to strangle his neck.

“What the—? Rallon! Get her off of me!” His words came out choked, making it clear that it was hard for him to breathe through her grip. “Millennia, I swear to—ow, shit! All right, that’s it.”

Before Rallon could get to Millennia to pull her off of Mortimus, he used his mass to push her off of him and rolled her off of the bed. He landed beside her as she dragged him down by the arm, and they began rolling around in between the two beds, slapping and kicking each other as they did so.

“Ha ha, got your hair!” Mortimus shouted mockingly.

“I’d go for yours as well, but all you’ve got is a rats’ nest!” She punched him in the shoulder blade, and he cried out in pain.

“That was a low blow, Millennia! You know that my hair is too curly to brush out. You know that! You take back that low blow! Take it back!”

“Never!”

Rallon took a step back as the fight intensified, blows landing both on top of each other and on the floor. On one hand, Rallon really wanted to stop the fight, but on the other, he knew that there was no way he could. Millennia was incredibly stubborn, and while Mortimus was usually a bit of a pushover, he was more than willing to hold his ground once things got physical. Rallon reckoned he got that skill from hanging around Magnus so much.

Eventually, it hit a point where Rallon knew that he had to do something. His friends were on the ground hitting each other and breaking things, and if he didn’t do something fast then he knew that it would be too late. Something terrible was going to happen.

“Cut it out!” he cried. He was surprised to hear his own voice, as he had yet to come up with any sort of logical plan. Luckily, Mortimus and Millennia were equally surprised by his outburst, and both of them stopped to look over at him.

“You guys, uh, you, uh, need to stop fighting,” he finished lamely. He forced himself not to cringe at his pathetic use of words. “You’re going to break something.”

“We already did,” said Mortimus, gesturing to the cracked bed frame beside him.

“Okay, that might be true, but you only broke something of yours. You don’t want to face the wrath of Magnus if you accidentally break something of his, do you?”

Mortimus took a moment to ponder his words, and Rallon let out a sigh of relief. “Yeah, you’re right,” he said. “You’re always right.” He made a face. “No, wait. That’s Jelpax. You’re never right.”

“I’m pretty sure that it’s you who’s never right, Mortimus,” said Millennia.

“Oh, yeah.” He nodded. “You’re right.”

“Yeah, I am. Now go fix my grade.”

“Fine.” He groaned as he stood up. “Can I at least wait for my headache to go away first?”

“With how hard you hit that bed frame it’s probably going to be a few hundred years before that goes away. Now go.”

“All right, all right, I’m going.”

Millennia hopped off the floor right after Mortimus left the room, then practically skipped over to Rallon. “We did it!” she cheered.

“Nope.” Rallon shook his head. “I didn’t do anything. It was all you.”

“That is not true.” She took a step forward wrapped him in an embrace, and for the first time since the whole ordeal had begun, Rallon felt at peace.

//

“Here you are, Professor,” said Drax, as he handed his paper over to the man. “My essay.”

Professor Bappal stared at it for several seconds, doing the same quick scan he always did when someone turned in a paper. His expression was entirely unreadable, which made Drax incredibly nervous as he stood there in silence, waiting for his professor’s incoming comment.

“Good,” he said eventually. “Looks like you finally did your research for once. Of course, we’ll find out for sure once it’s actually time for me to grade it.”

Drax nodded, unable to keep a smile from creeping up his cheeks. “Thank you, Professor,” he said. He turned around and scurried out of the room, not wanting to be stuck with him any longer.

As he had promised that morning, Jelpax was waiting outside of the room when Drax exited. He seemed nervous, and Drax knew that it was for nothing. Things were going to turn out all right.

“So?” said Jelpax. He was leaning back against the wall, his arms crossed on his chest.

“He told me that it was ‘good’.”

“Good?” As per usual, Jelpax’s voice lacked any emotion, making it difficult for Drax to determine whether he was pleased with the news. However, it was suddenly easy to determine when a huge smile broke onto his face. “Well, that’s fantastic! I can’t believe it!”

Drax grinned. “I know. I thought for sure he was going to laugh in my face.”

“Me too. God, I should really make you study more often. With a comment like that, you might even scrape eighty percent.”

“Only eighty percent?” His face fell. “All I’m going to get is an eighty percent?”

“Oh, yeah. He would have praised you if you got anything higher than that. From what you said, you’re probably going to get just higher than you normally do. That means it’ll be just good enough to classify as a decent grade. Not perfect, but still a pretty good job, and better than you’ve been doing.”

“That’s true, I mean, at least I’m passing, right?”

“Exactly.”

//

“Well, it wasn’t exactly how I had expected things to work out when I first asked Theta for help, but yeah, by the end of it, I did totally see it coming.”

Theta sniffed from his seat in the back corner. He didn’t normally sit way back there during their weekly meetings, but it seemed fitting for his day of shame. “I didn’t see it coming,” he said. “I thought that everything was going to work out, like it always does.”

“What do you mean ‘like it always does’?” asked Koschei. He snorted. “Nothing ever works out for us.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. Still, I figured we would both do better than zero percent.”

Ushas’s jaw dropped. “That’s the grade you got?” she gaped. “That’s not even a real grade. You must have done so poorly that the professors would have preferred to give you no grade at all!”

“I think they probably would have rather we just never turned anything in,” said Theta. “I mean, I don’t know what happened with your professor, Kos, but mine was pissed.”

“Same for me.” He nodded glumly. “She could hardly even look at me after reading my paper, and all she was able to say was something about my ‘doodles’. What doodles?”

He hesitated. “Well, um, we got so into our argument that we had a bit of a stick figure battle on your paper. Then you got really tired and you fell asleep before we finished, so I guess that you forgot about it.”

“Yeah, you think?”

“ _Anyway_ ,” said Drax, from his usual seat near the middle of the room, “if we can change the subject, I would like to announce that I did not fail my Gallifreyan essay.”

“Really?” said Magnus, shock clear on his face. “How the hell did you manage to do that?”

“Jelpax helped me. I decided to try actually listening to him for once and it did wonders, I’ll tell you.”

“Yeah, funny how that works, huh?” said Jelpax, a less-than-amused expression on his face.

Drax nodded. “Yeah.”

“You’re fucking joking, right?” Magnus scoffed. He shook his head, his muscular arms crossed against his chest. “I mean, I know that you’re stupid, but you do know that you have to listen to learn, right?”

“Uh, I guess so. But you know, apparently you can learn things in your sleep if you let the audio play while you’re sleeping. And if you’re sleeping then you’re not really listening, so point proven.”

Magnus only responded through an eye-roll.

“On another topic,” said Rallon, “Millennia got her grade sorted out.”

Ushas seemed surprised. “Yeah? Why didn’t you tell me, Mil?”

“I don’t know.” She shrugged awkwardly. She absolutely hated to exclude anyone, and she felt like that was exactly what she had done to her friend. “I guess you just didn’t seem in the loop enough for me to need to tell you how it ended.”

“You need to tell me everything, you know that.”

“I’ll fill you in later.”

“Okay.”

“Spoiler,” said Mortimus, “it was me who stole her paper.”

Ushas’s jaw dropped. “You did that? Seriously? Why?”

“Because I spent all of my free time with what’s-her-face.” He said it was if it was the most obvious thing in the world, and everyone there should have known it already. “How was I meant to study at the same time?”

“Uh, you could try setting aside some time?” said Vansell. He shook his head in disbelief. “And if you didn’t even bother to learn that girl’s name, then why do you even care about spending time with her?”

“Excuse you. It’s _did_ you care. I’m not with her anymore.” Mortimus rolled his eyes. “And anyway, she was hot. And I don’t mean, like, kind of hot. She was really, really hot.”

“Well if she was so hot, then why aren’t you together anymore?”

“Because she realized that I was only with her because she was hot.” He shrugged. “I don’t even see why that matters. I mean, it’s not like it was going to last anyway.”

“All right,” said Millennia, “you have got to stop treating girls like yesterday’s news. Be nice to them and they’ll stick around.”

“Okay, I’ll try that with Darlira.”

“Who’s that?” asked Koschei.

“My new girlfriend.”

Millennia groaned. “You know we’ve got a science test in two weeks?”

“Yeah.”

“Are you going to study for it?”

“Nah.” He shook his head, shrugged, and leaned back in his seat casually. “I think I’ll just take someone else’s answers. What could go wrong?”


	11. The President

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ushas decides the Deca needs a leader. Her and Koschei battle it out to be elected.

The meeting was nothing short of a complete disaster.

Everyone was shouting and arguing; papers and shoes flying about as they screamed and fought, no one able to come to a civil conclusion. Compromises seemed to be out of the question, even as Millennia tried to stop her friends from fighting. Or, she _should_ have been trying to stop them, but even she was landing blows. Ushas had created a monster out of the most well-mannered person that she knew.

She was practically a warmonger. When she had first proposed the idea, she hadn’t thought that it would elicit that kind of a response. Her friends were normally some of that most calm, easy-going people at school because they were already used to trouble, but that was no longer true. Not because any of them had changed, or because they would never go back to how they were, but because Ushas had started what could possibly be the next great Time War.

She cringed and ducked down as a notebook flew past her head, then gasped when she realized that Jelpax had been the one to throw it. It was worse than she had thought; even he had been pulled over to the dark side. If only she hadn’t started the fight.

If only she hadn’t decided that the Deca needed a president.

//

Ten days prior to the chaos known as that meeting, another one had taken place, which was far more civilized than the one which would happen later. There was no one yelling, screaming, throwing things, or even talking much at all. Ushas had been even more serious than normal, and no one wanted to trigger her temper. However, despite their silence and stone faces, none of her friends were really listening to her and she knew it. She just didn’t care enough to force them to. After all, it was their loss if they ignored her.

“So, in conclusion, that’s why I think that we should appoint a president,” said Ushas. “And since none of you are even listening to me right now, I believe that I should take up the position myself.”

An uproar suddenly took over the room, cutting Ushas off before she could say another word. It seemed that her friends were paying a little more attention than she had thought, which is to say that they had been listening to her at all. She was mildly satisfied with that, but still wished that they would give her some kind of a response while she was talking.

“Shut up for a second, guys,” she snapped, as she slammed her hand down onto the desk. The room fell silent. “Why are you objecting to this?” The chatter instantly started back up again. “Raise your hands!” Ushas ordered. “Drax.”

“I don’t think we really need a president,” he said. “I’m not even trying to fight against you just to make you mad this time. I just don’t see the point. We’ve worked fine this way for the last umpteen years and it’s not like we’re some kind of team or club. We’re just friends. Friends don’t need to boss each other around.”

Ushas rolled her eyes. “We do,” she said. “We’re not like other social groups.”

“That being said,” Koschei added, “we don’t need you to be the one doing it.”

“Are you implying that I’m a bad leader?”

“No, I’m stating that you’re a bad leader. You’re way too bossy, self-centered, and arrogant to run any sort of group, even one as simple as this.”

Theta nodded. “Kos is right. No one wants to listen to you.”

“Fine, but that’s just your opinion. Does anyone else agree with them?” Six hands flew into the air and Ushas’s attention turned to Mortimus, who was sinking down in his seat, his eyes pointed at the ground. “Thank you, Mortimus. Now, could you talk some sense into the others?”

Mortimus shook his head. “No.”

“Then why didn’t you raise your hand?”

“Because you scare me.”

Ushas stared at him; her expression unreadable. She shook her head and rolled her eyes before turning her attention back to the rest of the group. “All right,” she said, “what do you guys think of the concept of a president? Raise your hands.”

Jelpax raised his first and began to speak as soon as she pointed at him. “To me, it doesn’t sound like a terrible idea. Obviously, there are some flaws in your current plan, which we can iron out, but looking at the overall picture, it could improve group function by more than ninety percent.”

“And how is that, smart-ass?” asked Magnus challengingly. He crossed his arms.

He shrugged. “Some people—” he glanced in Drax’s direction, then Mortimus and Theta’s “—have a tendency to forget when meetings are. That or they just lie about it. Either way, our meetings get canceled way too often. Sometimes it’s not even because of no-shows, but because we have no plans for what’s going to happen. If we had a leader then we would always know what we we’re going to talk about, and when we’re going to do it.”

“Say what you want,” said Magnus, “but nothing and no one will ever be able to remind Drax when our meetings are.”

“True.” Drax nodded.

“I don’t think that it should be you, though,” Jelpax elaborated. “No offense. I just don’t know if you’re really cut out for the job. It seems like something that you would really have some struggles with.”

“As if.” Ushas scoffed. “I’m going to be the very best leader in the world. Besides, if I didn’t do it, then who would?”

“Well, that’s easy,” said Theta. He pointed to the person sitting beside him. “Kos.”

Koschei looked surprised. “I thought that you were going to say Magnus. He does most of the bossing around anyway.”

“Nah. He’s too intimidating to be president.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” said Magnus.

“Anyway,” Jelpax cut in, “I don’t really think that it is completely necessary that we elect a president, but I do think that we would benefit from it. I’m just not sure that any of you bitches could do it.”

“Because you could?” Koschei scoffed. “I could do a better job than you.”

“Don’t assume what I’m thinking, Koschei. It makes you look ignorant.” He rolled his eyes. “I never said that _I_ could do it, I just said that none of _you_ could.”

Millennia turned around in her seat to look at them. “Guys, don’t start a fight. That’s not what we’re here for. How about we just give this thing a try and see how it works out? If it doesn’t pan out then we’ll ditch it, but if it works, then good for us.”

“Fine,” said Jelpax, “but who’s going to play leader?”

“I’ve got it!” Theta exclaimed, his hazel eyes beaming. “How about we hold an election? Whoever wants to run can go ahead and do it, and then the rest of us can vote.”

Ushas shrugged. “Okay.” She was nearly certain that no one would want to run against her, and if they did, she was going to win anyway. “Who wants to run?”

Only a single hand shot into the air; Koschei’s. She absentmindedly glared at him before realizing her mistake and turning her expression into a less-than-friendly smile. He returned the look, but neither said a word. The rest of the group looked around at each other, no one sure how to break the unbearable silence they had gotten stuck in. Finally, Jelpax spoke again.

“How long is this campaign going to last?” he asked.

“Campaign?” Ushas looked at him, her brows furrowed. “Why do we need to campaign? You guys know us both already. Just tell us who you would rather have.”

“It’s not as simple as that,” said Jelpax. “See, we know you, but we don’t know what you’re going to bring to the Deca that we haven’t already got.”

“What do you mean?” asked Koschei. “Can I not just declare myself more fit than Ushas and take the win?”

“Uh, no.”

“Who put you in charge?”

“No one. You guys are just too thick to do this without someone telling you how.”

“Someone already tells _me_ how to do everything,” said Mortimus, “so don’t assume that I need someone to do it for me now.”

Jelpax made a face. “Who?”

“My horoscope.”

“Yeah? What does it say?”

Mortimus shrugged. “Something about death? I don’t know, I don’t really pay attention to those things. They’re all just a bunch of shit.”

“Then why did you say that they run your life?”

“What? I didn’t say that.”

“Yeah, you did.”

“No.”

“Anyway,” said Ushas, “how about we go for ten days? We can start campaigning today and keep going until our meeting, or election day, next week. It’s not too long, but it won’t be too short either. I think that it’ll work out well. It’s just enough for you to get a taste of what we have to offer without having it shoved down your throats.”

Koschei nodded. “Agreed. Not that anything is going to stop you from shoving your political views down other people’s throats, that is.”

She rolled her eyes. “It’s not about political views, you dimwit. It’s about bringing what’s best for the Deca _to_ the Deca and obviously you’re incapable of that.”

“Yeah, yeah, we’ll see. Meeting dismissed.”

//

Ushas followed Millennia down the hallway, hoping to catch up to her before she got too far away. She tapped on her shoulder once they were in line with each other, and Millennia spun around, a smile on her face.

“Hey, Mil,” she started, “do you want to be my campaign manager?”

“Sure.” Millennia nodded. “But why do you need a campaign manager? Not that I’m complaining or anything, I’m just curious because you’re normally like, a hundred percent independent.”

“True, but all the important people have campaign managers. I figure that if I want to be successful then I should probably get one too. It seems like the sensible thing to do.”

“Okay. I guess I can do that for you, then. I don’t know if I’m going to be any good at it, though. I’ve never managed anything a day in my life.”

“Well, you can’t get by on your looks forever. You’re going to have to accomplish something by yourself at some point.”

Millennia gasped in response to the cheap shot, but Ushas ignored her. “I accomplish plenty on my own; just like I’m going to accomplish becoming the best campaign manager that Gallifrey has ever known. You just wait—this is going to be the biggest landslide of all time.”

She strode off down the hall, not wanting to waste a second before doing what she planned. Ushas sighed as she walked away, hoping beyond anything that she would be able to follow through with her promises. She jumped when Koschei suddenly appeared behind her.

“What are we looking at?” he asked, following her gaze.

“My new campaign manager,” Ushas gloated. “Why? Are you jealous because you have to run your campaign on your own?”

Koschei didn’t respond. He took a moment to consider the idea of having a campaign manager before turning around.

“Thete!” he called.

Theta, who had been tying his shoe a few feet back, stood up, his bag slung over his shoulder. “What, Kos?” he asked. He tugged at the collar on his robes, attempting to fit his strap beneath it before eventually giving up.

“I need you to be my campaign manager.”

“Campaign manager?” He made a face. “This thing lasts a week. The voters are your friends. Why the hell do you need a campaign manager?”

“Well, ‘cause Ushas has one.” Koschei gestured to her. “And y’know, I want to be all professional-like too.”

Ushas rolled her eyes but said nothing. After all, the move was ridiculous and actually worked in her advantage. Theta was basically useless, and she knew that he wouldn’t be able to do the job. Unfortunately, he seemed to know that about himself as well.

“Do I have to like, make posters and stuff?”

“Posters are probably unnecessary,” said Koschei. He glanced back at Ushas and she shook her head. “Yeah, so you’ll just do the more important stuff. Like writing my speeches, for example.”

“Oh, no. Kos, I can’t do that. You know I’m bad at—”

He waved a hand around dismissively. “Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. Just write them anyway.”

“But, Kos, I can’t—”

“Okay, fine, I’ll write my own speeches. That’s more impressive anyway. Not that anyone knows or cares who actually writes them. Besides, it’s not like anyone’s really going to listen to me anyway. They don’t care about what Ushas or I have to say.”

Theta nodded. “True. You know, I think they’re all going to vote for you just because they don’t like Ushas.”

“I’m right here,” Ushas snapped. “But you could be right. About the _speeches_ , that is,” she quickly clarified. “We need to do something grasp to get their attention so that they’ll actually listen to us while we’re giving our speeches. I don’t want to waste my time.”

“This whole thing is a waste of time,” said Theta.

“Shut up,” Koschei whispered. He slapped Theta across the shoulder, and he winced in pain. “What should we do, though? Randomly make rude comments about them so that they get angry and listen to us, or say really nice things about them so that they get really confused and listen to us?”

“It’s your campaign,” said Ushas. “You do whatever you want, and I’ll do whatever I come up with. May the best student win.” She held her hand out.

He took hold of her hand and shook it firmly. “May the best student win,” he repeated.

Little did they know; the best student was neither of them.

//

“Drax, what are you doing?”

“Nothing. I’m just fixing this like you told me to. Why? Am I not doing it as fast as you would like? Well, I’m sorry if you can’t use the clocks on the wall like a normal person. God, I try to do something nice for you and you turn around and bitch at me. I don’t even have to do this, you know. I could be doing something else, like—”

“Shut up,” said Jelpax. He spun around in his chair and took a long look at Drax and his workspace. He almost regretted speaking, as he hadn’t expected a simple question to turn into such a babbling rant from his roommate. “I didn’t mean the watch, you idiot. I was talking about that clicking noise.”

“Wait, that thing?” Drax turned around to face Jelpax, but kept his chair facing front. “I thought it was you making that noise from hell. I was going to be nice and not say anything, but if this is a prank then I swear to Rassilon, I am going to kick your—”

“Drax, chill out. If it’s not me, and it’s not you, who is it?”

“More like _what_ is it.” Drax swung his long, thin legs back around and lifted the watch that was resting on his table. He held it up to his ear and took a moment to listen to it before dumping it back onto the mess of tools and junk. “It’s not this,” he said.

“And it definitely isn’t my book.”

“So, what the hell is it?”

Jelpax stood up, his black chair making a quiet popping sound as the weight was lifted from its seat. He paced around the room, searching for the sound, but he couldn’t identify a source. He stopped near the door for a moment, wondering if Magnus and Mortimus were doing something across the hall, but continued on his way when he realized that the sound was coming from a different direction. He spun around once more, and finally came to a halt, his eyes fixed on Drax’s bed.

“You liar,” he spat. “It _was_ you.”

“No, it wasn’t,” Drax insisted. He dropped the watch back onto the table once more, the expression on his face nothing short of complete confusion. “I have no reason to lie to you, Pax. Besides, that noise is making me so angry that I would never wish it upon anyone, not even you.”

“Thanks.” Jelpax rolled his eyes. “But if it’s not yours, then why is the clicking noise coming from your bed?”

“I don’t know. I’ve been working on this since I got back from my last class. What the fuck did you do to it?”

He waved his hand through the air, attempting to dismiss the question. “It doesn’t matter,” he said. “We have more important things to worry about right now. Like finding the source of that hellish noise. We need to make that thing stop.”

Drax nodded. “Good point. Have fun with that.”

He turned his attention back to the watch, lifting it with his left hand and grabbed a pair of glasses with his right.  He slipped them on, then went back to work, leaving Jelpax entirely on his own to solve the problem.

Jelpax approached Drax’s bed, almost expecting to find some kind of broken tinker toy underneath the sheets. It wouldn’t be the first time Drax had abandoned a faulty, half-finished project, after all. However, as he pulled back the dark red sheets and searched beneath the pillows, he found nothing of aside from a worn-out, stuffed striped pig bear. Despite the lack of findings, he continued to search the bed.

He didn’t find the source of the sound until he looked beneath the bed frame. He snapped his eyes shut almost as soon as he saw the bright red light flashing on and off, causing copious amounts of glare to reflect on his glasses.

He reached up and pulled the object off its place—taped to the bottom of the bed—and pulled it out so that he could see it in the proper light. He turned it over several times, inspecting the odd mass of metal and wires. A lump formed in his throat as soon as he thought of the only thing that the object reminded him of. He turned back to Drax, his voice shaking slightly when he spoke.

“So, there was a bomb under your bed,” he said.

//

“Theta?” called Koschei. He was walking down the corridors, hoping to find any trace of the friend who had failed to answer his phone. “Theta? Where are you? You were supposed to meet me in our room ten minutes ago!”

He got no response, even as he closed in on Theta’s locker. He was going to be able to see it as soon as he turned around the corner, but he already knew that he needed to look somewhere else. He could have gotten an answer if Theta had been at his locker, but he hadn’t.

“Dammit, Theta,” he muttered. “Come on!”

He turned the corner, then promptly froze when he caught sight of his friend. His shoulders sagged as his face flushed bright red, fury burning in his bright blue eyes. Koschei was not mad at Theta, but rather the person standing in front of him, and pinning his shoulders against the locker.

Theta’s entire body was shaking against the cold metal, kept still only by the boy who held him there. That boy was, of course, the school bully; Torvic.

Torvic had been bullying both Theta and Koschei since the first year they had come to the Academy. Koschei was able to stand his ground for the most part, but Theta couldn’t do so quite as well. It wasn’t because of any sort of weakness that Torvic chose to pick on Theta more often, but because Koschei was stronger  both physically and mentally, and far more willing to fight back. Theta had yet to learn that standing up for himself was more important than being nice to everyone.

“Quit acting like you’re a fool!” Torvic shouted. He jerked Theta towards him, then slammed him back into the lockers.

“Stop!” Even from a distance, Koschei could see that Theta’s cheeks were flushed bright pink, his fearful eyes nearing the same color. “Please, just stop!”

“Oi!” Koschei shouted. He ran over to them, and Torvic dropped Theta, who sunk down to the ground and wrapped his arms around his legs. He didn’t bother to watch what happened next, instead burying his head in his knees. “What the hell are you doing?”

Torvic shrugged. “Nothing now. Pretty sure I’ve got it all out of him. Now it’s your turn.” He cracked his knuckles and grinned. Both he and Koschei braced themselves, more than ready to throw some punches, but came to an abrupt halt when loud footsteps echoed in the hall.

“Oh, shit,” said Torvic. “Fucking Borusa.”

He took one last look at Koschei before turning around and taking off down the hall. Koschei promptly turned to Theta and sat down beside him, then wrapped an arm around his friend’s shoulders.

“Come on,” he said. “Let’s go.” Theta didn’t move, nor even act as if he had registered Koschei’s presence. “Thete, come on. You’ll feel better once we get out of here.” Still no response. “Please?”

Theta ran both hands down his face before he lifted his head, but Koschei could still see the tear stains on his cheeks. “Sorry,” he said. He leaned his head back against the lockers and ran a hand through his dirty blond hair in an attempt to push it out of his face, but the tangles flopped right back into their spot. “Let’s go. We have to work on your campaign.”

Koschei nodded and stood up. He held out a hand and Theta took it as he rose to his feet.

They walked in silence all the way back to their room. Just like every time they ran into Torvic, neither of them wanted to talk about what had happened.

//

Ushas knocked on the door impatiently. She was waiting for Millennia to open it and had already grown bored after seconds of standing there. However, she knew that Koschei and Theta were planning a meeting that night and she wanted to have one as well, so as not to risk falling behind them. She didn’t have any real worries, as she knew that their intelligence levels were pathetic compared to hers, but she still wanted to look like she was working incredibly hard on her campaign.

The only concern she had (and it was a very small one) was that Theta had been right—that they did all like Koschei more than they liked her. Even if she could run the Deca better, they might choose him because they preferred his company. She pushed the thought down as far as she could, hoping that she still had a good chance of winning the election.

After she had been knocking for what felt like an eternity, Millennia finally opened the door, not looking the least bit bothered by how long she had left Ushas standing out there. In an effort to make a point, Ushas pushed past her friend silently and sat down at the first desk that she saw. Why Millennia had needed the entire science lab for her project was beyond her reach, and irrelevant at the time.

“All right,” she said. “It’s time to work on my campaign. We’re starting with a speech tomorrow morning, so I need you to get that written out for me. Then I will evaluate it and rewrite it according to my actual beliefs, as biased or unbiased as those may or may not be.”

“You know,” Millennia began, as she took a seat beside Ushas, “you usually don’t want to be too opinionated in these speeches. Especially with such a small audience, you need to appeal to everyone, and in this case,  you really have an advantage, since you know everyone so well. I think that you should say things you know they want to hear, whether or not they’re reflective of your personal opinions.”

“Like what?”

“Talk about the universe and Theta will listen, talk about the Dark Times and Jelpax will listen, talk about attractive people and Mortimus will listen… the list goes on. You just have to find some things that will appeal to as many people as possible.”

“You seem very informed on this,” said Ushas. She crossed her arms. It was almost as if Millennia was trying to run the campaign on her own, to beat out Ushas in some way. “Have you been reading up on it?”

Millennia blushed. “In a way,” she answered. “Rallon is minoring in Gallifreyan politics, so I talked to him for a while, and then he directed to Vansell because apparently he’s minoring in both Gallifreyan and universal politics.”

“Oh, my god.” Ushas gasped. “This is why I chose you to be my campaign manager,” she said, a smug grin appearing on her face. “You’re both insanely smart to make those connections, and you’re a wonderful friend.”

She smiled. “I pride myself on that fact,” she said.

//

“…at this point, it’s been there for a minimum of twenty-four hours and it still hasn’t blown.”

Drax nodded as he pushed his bangs away from his eyes. “Yeah, I noticed that,” he said. “Remember how I didn’t sleep at all last night because that thing wouldn’t shut up?”

“Obviously,” Jelpax answered. “I was kept awake because of your stupid whining. I mean, honestly, if you hate it so much you should just go stay with Theta and Koschei. I’m sure that they’d let you stay over for a couple of nights.”

“And let you get blown up on your own?” he scoffed. “No way, asshole.”

“You’re calling me an asshole for sparing your life?”

“No, I’m calling you an asshole for offering to die alone. You might be an asshole but you’re my asshole and you’re not going to die without me.”

Jelpax smirked as he turned his attention back to the bomb on his desk. He had spent the last two hours inspecting it to find any way to turn it off, or at least a way to tell how much time he had left before it blew. However, despite his efforts, he found nothing.

There was a point where he momentarily considered randomly cutting one of the wires, but he quickly decided against it. There was a slight chance that he would pick the correct one and disable the bomb, but there was a much bigger probability that he would trigger the bomb early and blow up himself and possibly several other people, depending on the size of the explosion.

“Hey,” said Drax, “I got an idea.”

“What?” Jelpax spun back around in his chair.

“How about we just leave it in Epsilon’s room? Or in one of the Scendeles’ classrooms? Or even under Magnus’s bed?”

He shook his head. “No, Drax. We can’t just kill someone that we don’t like. We’ll go to prison.”

“Why would we go to prison? It’s not like we’re the ones who made the bomb.”

“Maybe not, but we would be the ones who left it in the moron’s room, whoever that moron may be. Besides, I don’t hate anyone nearly enough to blow them up. Surely you don’t either?”

Drax hesitated. “I guess not,” he said. “Not anyone here, at least.”

“My point exactly.” Jelpax knew better to press Drax to speak. He could address his hesitance later, after he had gotten rid of the life-threatening object. “So,” he went on, “if you don’t mind, I’m going to get back to disarming this thing.”

“Why don’t you let me try?” He stood up and walked over to Jelpax, then took the bomb out of his hands and turned it over several times.

“All right then,” said Jelpax, “since I apparently don’t have a choice anyway.” He leaned back in his seat and watched as Drax inspected the device.

“Why were you doing it in the first place?” he asked, as he poked at the wires on the machine. “We both know that I’m the engineer guy. I should have looked at it first and then we probably would have been done and gone with it by this point.”

“That’s bull. You might be the engineer but I’m both smarter and more patient than you. If I had given it to you first and you hadn’t been able to figure it out within the first hour then you would’ve taken a hammer to it and it would have exploded ages ago.”

“Ha!” Drax scoffed. “As if. I’ve been working on your watch for like three days at this point and I haven’t smashed that yet.”

Jelpax gestured to the object in question, which was sitting on Drax’s desk, split into tons of tiny pieces. “That’s far more broken now than it was when I gave it to you.”

“I’m, uh, just looking at the insides.”

“If you say so.”

“I do,” he snapped. “You don’t know how I work.”

He sighed. “Drax, you need to stop being so defensive about everything. I’m just messing with you.”

There was a moment of silence before he responded. “Yeah, I know. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. It’s fine.”

“I just get really wrapped up in my own head sometimes, you know?”

“Yeah.” Jelpax nodded. “You do it all the time.”

Drax snorted. “That is true. Can’t really deny it.” He sighed and put on a small, forced smile before heading back to his work.

For the shortest second, Jelpax felt bad about telling him off. However, he had never been one to hold onto his feelings, and he shook them off quickly. He didn’t have any time to feel at that moment; he had a bomb to disarm.

//

“Thank you all for coming to this somewhat-impromptu meeting,” said Millennia, as she clapped her note cards against the desk. “I understand that we do not normally have meetings on this day of the week and you probably—” she glanced down at her notes “—probably weren’t expecting to have to be here so early. However, the candidates would like to give their speeches, which we—I mean, _they_ prepared. Thank you.”

Millennia hadn’t really been expecting any applause when she walked back to her seat, but it would have been nice. Still, she didn’t complain about not getting any, but sat right back down and turned her attention onto Ushas. Millennia would be shocked if she didn’t win the election—just walking up to the front of the classroom, she already oozed presidential potential.

“Hello, my fellow Deca members,” said Ushas. “Thank you all for coming this morning. I almost thought that none of you would show up, considering you don’t really care about this election in the first place, yeah? Well, that’s what I’m here for; to make you care. So, without further ado, let’s get into it.”

She took a deep breath and glanced down at her notes before launching into her speech, nine pairs of eyes waiting for her to start.

“I want to bring a new perspective to the Deca,” she began. “I know that right now we’re more of a social clique than a club, but I would like to turn that around. Right now, it seems really easy to get in here—like Epsilon does—and I think that we need to enforce our exclusiveness. Not that we’ve actually added anyone in the last however many years we’ve been a thing, but still. We need to have a process in place to let people in, because someday we might want to let someone else into the Deca and we can’t do it unprepared.”

“That’s absurd,” said Mortimus. He clearly had no regret for interrupting and ruining her speech. “Why would we want to invite anyone else to come in here? It’s stupid. Deca means ten, right? Well, if we let someone else into the group now, then we would have to rename the Deca because it wouldn’t be ten anymore; it would be eleven.”

“Then that’s what we’ll do.”

“Is there even a word for eleven that sounds snazzy?” asked Theta.

Ushas rolled her eyes. “I don’t want it to be snazzy. Now shut up and let me finish my speech.”

She continued on with said speech and made it all the way to the end without being interrupted again. As soon as she stepped down from the front of the room and went back to her seat, Koschei walked up and took control of the group.

“Hello, everyone,” he said. Ushas quickly took notice of the fact that he had no visible notes on him. “I understand that Ushas had a great speech and it’ll probably be hard to compete with, but I’m here to tell you why you should ignore everything that she said and vote for me instead.” He paused for dramatic effect.

“The first thing I’ll do as your president is create a community suggestion box. It would be similar to that thing Ushas was talking about earlier, but instead of carefully considering and voting on everything, we’ll just put it all into action immediately. As long as it’s something good, at least. I’m not going to tell everyone to start wearing Rollerblades because someone wanted to get a kick out of that. It would be stupid.” He stopped speaking for a moment and peered towards the back of the room. “Hey, Jelpax! Would it kill you to silence that ticking for a few minutes?”

“Quite possibly,” he answered.

Koschei shook his head and continued. “Anyway,” he said, “I would also like to get a Deca-exclusive vending machine. We could keep it in me and Theta’s room, since Borusa would kill us if we put it in here. Now, before you go thinking that I’m going to profit off of this, stop. All of the money in the vending machine will be used to restock the vending machine.” He sighed. “Yes, Ushas? Do you have something to share with the group?”

“No.” She chuckled and flipped her hair over her shoulder. “Please, go on.”

He took one last look at her before he did. His speech was just shorter than hers, which was presumably because he had cut out all the boring stuff that Ushas chose to keep in. That made his speech more entertaining than hers, but it wasn’t a big deal because neither of them really got a good response. It was obvious that the members of the Deca were still not completely satisfied with the idea of having a president.

“All right, now that we’re through with the speeches, does anyone have any questions?” asked Ushas. She stepped back up to the front of the room and glanced around, waiting for a hand to be raised. “Yes, Jelpax?”

“Either of you know how to disarm a bomb?” he queried. “I’ll vote for you if you do.”

“No,” said Ushas, “but I will learn. Thank you for your vote. Next?”

Koschei’s jaw dropped. “Excuse me?” he snapped. “That’s a load of crap, Jel. You can’t just promise her a vote for a stupid reason like that! What has gotten into you?”

“What?” He made a face. “It’s not like I have any other reason to vote for either of you. Ushas’s speech was so incredibly boring that I almost fell asleep and yours? I mean, a vending machine. Really? That’s just stupid as fuck.”

“Hey!” Theta jabbed a finger in his direction. “Don’t you talk to my candidate that way!”

“And now you’re limiting free speech. God, Koschei, I want to vote for you so badly!”

“Can we just ditch this idea already?” asked Mortimus. “I don’t really want to have a president anyway.”

“Well, like it or not, we’re going to have one so suck it up and decide who you’re voting for,” said Ushas. Her face was flushed red with anger.

“I thought we still had the rest of the week to decide?” Drax looked mildly confused, an eyebrow raised as he thought aloud.

“Not anymore!” she snapped. “You all have until tomorrow morning to decide who to vote for. Voting will start as soon as everyone arrives.” She looked to Koschei. “Is that all right with you, Koschei?”

He nodded. “Fair game,” he said. “I didn’t really want to write any more speeches anyway.”

“Hey, you said that it was fun writing that with me!” Theta cried.

“Another reason to vote for me. I’m an excellent liar!”

Ushas rolled her eyes. “Koschei, they aren’t going to vote for you because you’re an excellent liar. They want someone who tells the truth, not someone who’s going to come up here and spew a bunch of lies twice a week.”

“I don’t really care,” said Drax. “Honestly, I never really pay attention during these meetings anyway. Tell me the truth, lie to me, I won’t know the difference.”

Jelpax nodded and pointed a screwdriver at him. “True,” he agreed.

“All right,” Ushas began, her face red, “you know what? I don't care who you vote for. Just know who it is before tomorrow morning. Meeting adjourned!”

//

“I can’t believe that you got us into this mess!” Theta cried. His hands were close to ripping his hair right out of his skull. “How could you do this to us?”

Koschei furrowed his brow. “What mess? What did I do to us?”

They returned to their dorm room after the meeting, and the door had barely even closed behind them when Theta had started going off at Koschei. After their pleasant walk back to the room, the last thing he expected was to be yelled at, but there they were.

“You agreed to move the vote up to tomorrow,” Theta snapped. “Can you even comprehend what you’ve done? That terrible speech you gave is now the only thing that people are going to base their votes off of.”

“So? They only have Ushas’s speech as well.”

“That might be true, and I know that hers wasn’t very good, but it was a hell of a lot better than yours.” He groaned and flopped down onto his bed. “God, I was hoping that would be the fun intro speech, not the last, desperate cry for votes!”

“That’s a thing?” Koschei snorted. “Honestly, Thete, from the way I see it, all I did was save us from a whole lot of crap. See, before we had to write speeches and make campaign signs and talk to all of our friends and stuff and now, we don’t have to do anything. We just get to sit back and see what happens.”

“That’s rubbish.” He rolled his eyes as he crossed his arms in defiance. “What you’ve done is messed up everything I had planned. Or, that I _was_ going to plan. I didn’t really plan too much stuff yet. You know me—I tend to make it up as I go along.”

“Shut up, Theta.”

Theta took a deep breath to keep his temper under control. “Look, Kos, what I’m trying to say is that you’ve made a big mistake. Now, I’m not going to tell you to go off and tell Ushas that you’ve screwed up and beg for more time, but in this situation,  you need to start thinking rationally.”

“What are you talking about?” Koschei could feel the beginning of one of Theta’s elaborate schemes, but he couldn’t tell what it was.

“Blackmail.” Theta grinned, but his face twisted into confusion as soon as Koschei’s jaw dropped in disbelief. “What?” he asked. “We can do bribery if you think that’s better. I just figured that it would be smarter to go for the fool-proof option. You know, like not everyone would fall for the bribery. Take Magnus for example—”

“Theta, no. We are not going to use blackmail to get votes. If anything, that’ll just make them want to get back at us by voting against us. You know them all too well for that. The Deca isn’t made up well-behaved, push-over goodie-goodies, now is it?”

“No, I guess not. Still, I don’t think that we can win this legitimately.”

Koschei sighed. Sometimes Theta was simply too obnoxious for him to stand for more than a few minutes. “Why? What makes you think that we can’t win this? I mean, really. Think about it. Our only competition is Ushas.”

“I suppose you’re right about that.” Theta nodded. “But, you know, I’m a bit worried that Ushas won’t bother to play by the rules like you want to.”

“Holy mother of Rassilon, you’re right!” he exclaimed. He ignored the cocky smirk which appeared on Theta’s face. “If we don’t blackmail or bribe them, then she will and who knows if they’ll go along with her or not.”

“I’d say it’s likely. After all, she’s a lot meaner than us. Honestly, she would probably actually release the information we have against them, where we would just forget about it.”

“Okay, so then we need to come up with a plan. Are we going with blackmail?”

“No.” Theta grinned. “We don’t need blackmail, nor bribery. We’re going to play this in a way that won’t mess with any of our voters.”

Koschei raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?” he asked.

“I mean, we’re going to rig the ballots. Landslide win, here we come!”

//

“All right, I’m not going to say that I regret what I did, but I am going to admit that I have narrowed our campaigning options down by a lot.”

Millennia nodded. She could tell by the way that Ushas paced around their room that she was formulating a plan, which was why she had a sparkly purple notebook open in her lap and a fresh blue pen in her hand. When Ushas finally announced what her plan was, Millennia was going to need to write it down so that she wouldn’t risk forgetting it.

“That means that we’re going to have to act fast,” Ushas went on, “and whatever method we choose has to be effective. I would suggest bribery as the first option—” Millennia quickly began to write “—but then again, I haven’t got the cash.”

She scribbled out the note. “Okay. Do you have any other ideas?” asked Millennia. “Perhaps something that won’t risk us severing our relationships with our friends?”

“No.” Ushas shook her head. “Although, I have got another idea that would; blackmail. I’ve got dirt on all of them, and with a flick of my wrist I could reveal a secret about any one of them that I can guarantee they don’t want getting out.”

Millennia didn’t bother to write the idea down. “No. No blackmail. Any other ideas?”

“Nothing that will work fast enough. Give me a moment to think.”

She began to pace around the room as she thought of an idea, while Millennia did the same thinking from the comfort of her bed. Ushas was right in thinking that they needed a fast-acting, fool-proof plan, but coming up with one of those was not going to be a simple task. Nevertheless, they needed an idea, and fast, so Millennia suggested the thing she didn’t want to say as soon as it popped into her head.

“Wait, I got it!” she said.

Ushas stopped pacing and turned to face her. “Yeah? What have you got?”

“Do you have any dirt on Koschei?”

“Please.” She scoffed and shook her head. “His is the longest list of all.”

Millennia smiled. “Then we are going to win.”

“What? How are we going to do it? You know that Koschei can’t vote, right? It’s against the rules.”

“Ushas, you said that there are no rules.”

“Oh, right. I guess we can all vote. Huh.”

Millennia nodded. “Yeah. Anyway, we’re not going to blackmail him. We’re going to find some fact about him that is so embarrassing or irresponsible that no one will want to vote for him anymore.”

“That’s genius!” Ushas’s face lit up. “Millennia, I’ve never heard you be so sly before. We’re going to win this easy!”

“Landslide win, here we come!”

//

“Oh, my god! I can’t sleep!”

Jelpax didn’t turn to look at him. “Maybe being quiet would help.”

“It’s not because I’m talking.” Drax rolled his eyes. “It’s because of that fucking ticking. Are you going to finish with that thing any time soon?”

“Who knows?” He shrugged. “I haven’t really made much progress, and I’m really starting to wonder whether it’s going to blow any moment now.”

“Maybe someone’s just having a laugh. You know, like it’s made to look like a bomb, but really it’s just ticking to annoy us?”

“No,” said Jelpax, “not a chance. It’s definitely a real bomb.”

“How do you know?”

“Because you told me so when you were looking at it the other day. It’s not often that an engineer like you gets stuff like this wrong.”

Drax shrugged and nodded. “That’s true. Hey, can I have another look at it?”

“Sure.” Jelpax stood up and walked over to Drax’s bed, then dropped it into his hands. “I was getting bored of that thing anyway.”

“Cool, thanks.”

A silence fell between them after that, as Drax tinkered with the bomb and Jelpax began reading a new book. Drax wasn’t sure exactly where to start, so he just messed with the wires, the buttons, the casing, and repeated the cycle. He was hoping that he would, at some point, find out something about it that would help him to disarm it, but that didn’t happen, so he just kept messing with it, pretending that he was making progress.

Drax smiled at Jelpax every time he looked over, hoping that he wouldn’t realize that he had done nothing so far. He suspected that one of the wires would trigger the bomb, but he wasn’t sure which one it was. If he pulled the wrong one then he would risk disabling the timer and, in turn, blowing up both him and Jelpax.

However, he was so throughly convinced that he could end it by cutting a wire that he decided to try to identify what they did by process of elimination. He ended up discovering which one connected to the timer, and which one would set off the bomb, but he could not figure out what the remaining two were for. Of course, one of them was the one that would stop it, but he didn’t want to cut either of them without knowing what they would do.

He placed the bomb onto his lap, then reached onto the nightstand and grabbed his glasses. If he was going to determine which one to cut, then he was going to need to be able to see them properly.

Drax followed the wires with his fingers to trace where exactly they connected to the bomb, hoping to discover what they did. If he could determine that then he would easily be able to discover which one he needed to cut. That was, if the connection points were not disguised.

He followed the yellow wire all the way up to the base, and quickly became convinced that it did not have anything to do with disabling the bomb.

Next, Drax traced the blue wire. He turned it around several times until he realized that it went into the middle of the bomb, which convinced him that it was most likely the one that he was looking for.

“I think we need to cut the blue wire,” he said. “See, the blue one looks like it’s going right into the middle, but the yellow one is off to the left, so it’s probably connected to the on-off switch. So, if we cut the blue one then it should cut the power but cutting the yellow one will probably trigger it to blow.”

“You mean the yellow wire you’re holding onto right now?” asked Jelpax.

“Yeah.”

“The one that’s no longer connected to the bomb?”

Drax’s eyes went wide as he turned to look at the disconnected wire in his hand. “Oh, shit!”

He didn’t hesitate for a second before leaping out of his seat. He tore open the window between their beds and threw the bomb out of it. A loud thud followed its landing, but there was no explosion.

“Huh, that’s weird,” said Drax. He scratched the side of his head in confusion. “Maybe I had the wrong wire after all?”

Jelpax opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by the sound of the bomb exploding and causing several chunks of dirt and pebbles to fly in through their window. Jelpax knew that he and Drax were sharing a thought before either of them voiced it.

“Son of a bitch!” Drax cried. He slammed the window shut and locked it. “We’re going to be in detention until we graduate!”

“You’re not wrong,” said Jelpax, his eyes fixed on the window. He took his glasses off and wiped off the dirt before putting them back on his face.

The two of them had gotten into some messed up situations in the past, but Jelpax had never expected them to be framed for assembling a bomb.

//

Ushas took a deep breath before she walked into the room. She adjusted her posture as well, to ensure that she was standing up perfectly straight. After she entered the room, she sat down on the seat at the front of it, which had been reserved for her. It was only minutes later that Koschei sat down in the one opposite the makeshift podium, his posture also straight and presentable (for once).

As soon as the other eight members of the Deca arrived in the classroom, Millennia and Theta took their places at the front of the room, both of them wearing obnoxiously bright smiles. They fought over the fake microphone for several seconds before Theta finally gave up and allowed Millennia to have it.

“Hello, members of the Deca!” she said. “Thank you all for being here today. It has been a great time campaigning and I’m incredibly proud to finally be able to announce who the new president of the Deca is. At least, I will be after we vote. So…”

Koschei punched Theta in the arm while Millennia began to explain how the voting would work. Theta looked down at his friend (even though he was standing, it felt great to be taller for once), and gave him a questioning look to ask what he wanted.

“Is everything set up?” asked Koschei, his voice barely more than a whisper.

Theta nodded. He pat the pocket of his dark blue blazer to show his friend. He looked highly professional for once, with his blazer, white shirt, and black dress pants.

“Yeah,” he answered, keeping his voice low. “I’ve got the ballots right here.”

“You’re sure that you sure you’ve got all eight?”

“All eight? No, I’ve got—”

Koschei’s eyes widened in alarm as soon as he noticed that Ushas was looking over at them. “Quick, she’s looking at us. Do something!”

Trying to act quickly, Theta reached out and grabbed the microphone, snatching it right out of Millennia’s grip. “Anyway,” he said, speaking into it despite the fact that it wasn’t functional, “let’s get on with the voting. Would you like to do the honors, Mil?”

“Of course.” Millennia smiled and turned around to grab the ballots.

Koschei grabbed Theta’s sleeve and twisted him around to face him. “What are you doing?” he snapped. “You have to hand them out!”

“I can’t give them rigged ballots, you idiot,” Theta whisper-shouted. “If Millennia hands them out, then I get to count them, which is when I’m going to make the switch.”

“Okay. Just make sure not to— _What the fuck is that?!_ ”

Theta whipped around to see what he was looking at. His eyes went wide as soon as they landed on the ballots. Or more specifically, the pictures that were clipped to each of the ballots.

“What do you think you’re doing?!” Koschei cried. He stood up and ripped the ballots out of Millennia’s hands.

She shrugged innocently. “Just showing everyone this picture of you sleep-drooling in the middle of a meeting.” She held it up for everyone to see. A murmur swept through the room, accompanied by a few chuckles. “Anyway, I’d better take those off now.”

“Damn right, you’d better.”

Millennia carefully took the pictures off of each ballot, then handed them out to everyone. She left four at the front for her, Theta, and the candidates; then handed those ones out, this time with only pens clipped onto them. Once everyone was finished filling out the ballots, Theta went around the room and collected them.

“All right, everyone,” he said, after he had resumed his place at the podium, “in just a few moments we’re going to reveal who the new President of the Deca is! Thanks for voting.”

He went out into the hallway, then removed the rigged ballots from his pockets. He made a stack for Koschei and a stack for Ushas—which was conveniently empty. Theta smiled to himself as he regathered the ballots. Finally, he had succeeded in screwing up something for Ushas. Even if he hadn’t gotten to see her freak out about it yet, he knew that it was going to happen, and that was pleasure enough for him.

“Done?” asked Millennia, as she poked her head out of the doorway.

Theta stood up quickly, his free hand flying to the back of his head. He rubbed it nervously as he did his best to look casual. “Yeah. We have a winner.” He grinned, but he knew that it looked forced.

“Can I see?”

“Of course.” He handed her the ballots when she stepped out of the room, and she closed the door behind her before properly inspecting them.

Millennia knew what was up with the ballots the second she looked at them. They read ‘Koschei’ all the way until the bottom of the stack. That’s right, _every single person_ supposedly voted for Koschei, _including_ herself and Ushas.

“What the hell is this?” she asked. She waved the ballots in front of Theta’s face.

“The ballots. Sorry about your loss.”

“You cheated.”

Theta’s eyes went wide. “What? No, I didn’t.”

“Well, then that’s odd. Because if you didn’t cheat, then how come all ten of these ballots say Koschei’s name on them? I’m including me and Ushas’s ballots, of course. You know, the ones who most definitely voted for her?”

“Evidently you didn’t.” Theta tried to recover, but he knew that his mistake was fatal. It was too late for him to take it back. “Thanks for your vote,” he forced.

Millennia put a hand out to stop him from going back into the classroom. “I voted for Ushas and I know that she did too. What kind of game are you trying to play?”

“Me? What about you? You leaked the photo of Koschei! How could you do something like that?”

“I was trying to win.”

“So was I.”

//

“What the hell?”

Ushas stood up from her seat, her brown eyes fixed on the door. Koschei looked over as well, his own eyes going wide. He could see Millennia’s back through the small window in the door, and Theta’s hands in her hair, seemingly tugging at it. Her hands looked to be outstretched towards him, but without a better view, he couldn’t tell for sure.

“Are they making out?” asked Mortimus. He leaned forwards to see the door better.

“No.” Rallon shook his head, his eyes staring in the same direction as everyone else’s. “She’s not into him at all.”

“I think they’re fighting,” said Koschei. Moments after he spoke, Theta pulled Millennia away from the door and she kicked him over and out of sight.

Ushas’s jaw dropped, and fury filled her face. “Get your stupid friend off of her!”

“I think that she’s on top of him,” said Koschei. “Oh, god! They’re rolling on the ballots!”

Koschei ripped the door open and yanked Millennia off Theta, then lifted him by the shoulders and threw him onto the wall and out of the way. Theta whimpered when his back collided with the bricks.

“Ow,” he said. He rubbed his lower back. “I hate being short.”

“You’ll get taller eventually,” Koschei mumbled. He gathered up the ballots and stuffed them into his pockets.

Theta rolled his eyes. “You’re just saying that because you’re tall.”

“Yeah, and you will be too once you hit puberty.” He received only a glare in response to his comment, which he didn’t even see. He finally collected all the ballots and was heading back into the classroom, leaving Theta behind in the hallway.

The others followed him into the room. Theta snatched the ballots from Koschei’s pockets, then waved them into the air when he reached the podium. “Hey, everyone!” he said quickly. “So, Koschei wins with a landslide! Thanks for coming!” He spoke as fast as he could, and for good reason. As soon as the last word left his mouth, Millennia rammed into him, knocking down both him and the podium.

Theta screamed when she pinned him to the ground, holding him down so tightly that all he could do was squirm.

“He rigged the ballots!” she shrieked.

“Did not!” he cried. He screamed again when Millennia twisted his arm. “Okay, I did! I rigged the ballots. I made the rookie mistake of switching all ten instead of just eight. I did it. I did! Please let me go!”

“No!”

Behind them, Ushas’s face had turned solid red. She whipped around to face Koschei, a murderous look in her eyes. “You rigged the ballots? Koschei that is _low_. I mean, I know that I tried to unfairly persuade them to vote for me, but cheating? Really?” She shook her head slowly. “How could you?”

“Hey!” he snapped. “In my defense, you were never supposed to find out. And you wouldn’t have, if Theta hadn’t been a fucking idiot and made too many fake ballots.”

“Sorry!” said Theta. He whimpered. “Oh, my god! Please let me go!”

“No!” Millennia objected.

Rallon stood up from his seat and ran over to her side, then squatted down beside her. “Hey, Millennia,” he said. “Maybe you should let him go. I’m worried that you don’t know your own strength.”

“I know my own strength.” As if to demonstrate, she yanked on Theta’s arm, and he cried out again.

“You’re hurting him!”

“I know.”

“This isn’t like you, Millennia. Stop it!”

“Don’t tell me what to do!”

Mortimus appeared behind him as if from out of nowhere. “Yeah,” he said. “Don’t tell her what to do, you dick.”

He kicked Rallon in the back, causing him to crash down on top of Millennia, who still didn’t release her grip on Theta.

“Agh!” he cried. “Let me go! I can’t take the weight of two people. I’m too small for this!”

“Too bad.” Mortimus laughed. “You get what you give!”

“What?”

“I said— _ow!_ ”

Mortimus was cut off suddenly when Magnus punched him in the shoulder. The attack was unprovoked, which led Mortimus to believe that it was just because Magnus had been wanting to punch him for a while, and he finally saw an opportunity. He wasn’t going to get away with it. Mortimus hit him back and they launched into a full-blown fist fight.

Meanwhile, at the back of the room, Drax tore his eyes away from the fight to look over at Jelpax. “Think we should get in on it?” he asked.

Vansell scoffed. “You really want to go in there and fight with them?”

“Shut it, Vanny. I was talking to Jelpax.”

Jelpax snorted. “‘Vanny’? You’re hilarious, Drax.” He closed his notebook and threw it across the room, not batting an eye when it collided with Mortimus's back. He turned and glared at Jelpax but was punched down by Magnus before he could do anything about it.

“You know, maybe we should try to help Theta.”

“Again, a stupid move,” said Vansell. “He’s a goner. And don’t you dare call me Vanny again.”

“All right, sorry. I just think that we have a chance against these guys.”

Suddenly, Jelpax’s eyes went wide. “Drax, we need to get the fuck out of here.”

“What? Why?” He looked disappointed. “This is so great!”

They both ignored Vansell when he rolled his eyes. “Because. They’re already onto us about the bomb, and we can’t get in trouble for that and this in the same day. We’ll be cremated.”

“Oh, god, you’re right. Let’s go.”

Sneaking out of the room was not a problem, as the only person who would have bothered to stop them was too busy attempting to make sense of what was happening around her.

Koschei had stopped yelling at Ushas, as he had decided that saving Theta from Millennia was more important. That left Ushas on her own in the middle of the warzone, wondering how a simple campaign had devolved into the next great Time War.

Vansell was the only one who hadn’t fought at all. Drax had landed a few hits on his way out, and Jelpax’s notebook had forced him into it as well. Even the most peaceful of the group had taken to the battle, and Ushas knew that she messed up horribly. She destroyed the Deca.

Or so she thought.

“All right, you idiots. Stop!”

Everyone froze and turned to look at Magnus.

“Go back to your seats and sit the fuck down!” He poked his head out the door and called down the hallway after Drax and Jelpax. “That includes you two morons. Get back here!”

The room was silent as everyone returned to their seats. Magnus didn’t wait for them all to look at him before he ripped the ballots to shreds and threw them into the rubbish bin beside him.

“There will be no president,” he declared. “I’ve honestly thought that this was a dumbass idea from the beginning, and this fight confirmed that. We are a group, not a club or a team. We don’t need someone to tell us what to do. And Ushas, I don’t care what you think or what you’re about to say to me. We do not need a president and we will not have one. Any objections?”

No one spoke. Everyone knew far too well that crossing Magnus was the wrong thing to do—especially when he was in a bad mood.

“Good.” He paused to take one last look around the room. “Meeting adjourned. Get out.”

And they did.

Ushas took a good long look at Magnus as she gathered up her stuff to leave. The truth was, she realized, that she was never going to be the president, nor was Koschei. Even if they hadn’t cheated and started that ridiculous fight, it never would have panned out. The Deca had a system that worked for them, and it didn’t need to be changed. Like they had just agreed, the Deca was not something that needed a leader.

Besides, everyone knew that even without an official title, Magnus was and always would be in charge of them all.


	12. Kos the Cook

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Koschei decides to become a chef. Mortimus thinks he's a superhero. Drax confesses a secret to Jelpax.

Mortimus smiled to himself as he paced back and forth on the bricks. He glanced off the edge, fear nonexistent in his mind. It was a beautiful day outside, and the forecast was clear. He wouldn’t have to worry about anything for as long as he wanted; he could just stand up there.

On the roof.

“See?” he called, as he peered off the edge. “I told you I could do it!”

“Yes, we know,” said Magnus. He crossed his arms and sighed. “I’m looking at you.”

Mortimus still wasn’t entirely sure what had driven him to climb onto the roof, but he attributed it to a few simple facts. One, the door wasn’t locked, it just had a big “keep out” sign on it, and two, Drax had been up there before. Since he hadn’t managed to get hurt, surely nothing could happen to Mortimus?

“Come down already, Mortimus!” Ushas shouted. “You’re going to fall!”

He laughed. “As if. This is great, you two. I’m going to stay up here forever.”

“Not my problem,” said Magnus. He spun on his heel and headed back inside of the building; the disinterest clear on his face even from a distance.

Mortimus grew tired of pacing, and instead began to run, skip, and lunge across the roof, even stopping to do a little dance as he neared the employee’s entrance. What was that there for anyway, he wondered? Did they make someone sweep up there? He wouldn’t mind doing that job. The view was incredible. It was a good thing that he wasn’t scared of heights, or he would have been freaking out at that point.

He walked back over to the edge and looked down at Ushas, who had her hands planted on her hips, a scowl on her face. Wasn’t it nice to know that she actually cared? It was sort of an aggressive style of caring, but she cared, and that was what mattered to Mortimus.

“I’m telling you, Ushas. I’m going to be fine! See? _Holy_ —!”

Ushas watched calmly as Mortimus fell. He screamed the entire way down and didn’t fall silent until he smashed into the bright orange grass. She walked over to his still figure and crouched down beside him.

“And I’m telling you: you’re an idiot, and I was right.”

//

“Look, Thete. You’re the one who wanted to do this, so you need to stop whining about it.”

“I’m the one who wanted to do this?” Theta snorted and shook his head. “It was your idea. You just wanted to impress me.”

“Why would I want to impress you?” The look on Koschei’s face was that of utter disbelief. “You’re an idiot! Anyone can do everything better than you.”

“That may be true, but I never said that I can cook, so maybe you just assumed that I couldn’t and wanted to brag about how you could.”

“But you can’t cook, right?”

Theta slapped his forehead. “No!”

It had all started in the dining hall that morning, when Theta was complaining about how disgusting their meal was. Koschei, being the good friend he was, offered to make Theta something, and so they went back to the dorms and into the normally-unused miniature kitchen. It hadn’t taken them five minutes to start a fire, and once it was finally put out, Theta begun to whine because Koschei was taking too long to make the food.

“Just hurry up, Kos,” he moaned. “I’m hungry!”

Koschei rolled his eyes. He shook his head and looked back down at the recipe in front of him. “I’m sorry if I’m a little bit rusty. I haven’t cooked since I had more than one person to feed.”

“Then cook for more than one person! I could eat the entire school right now!”

“Please don’t.”

“I am seriously considering it,” said Theta. He crossed his arms. “So, you need to hurry up on that dinner or the whole school will get eaten and it’s going to be all your fault.”

“Actually,” he argued, “it would be your fault. I mean, you’re the one who’s planning to eat it.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me. You’re the one who didn’t get me fed!”

“Well, you’re the one who refused to eat the same food as everyone else. I mean, I know that it’s bad, but I’m sure that it’s at least better than whatever slop they feed to the Scendels.”

“Hey!” Theta snapped. He pointed a finger in Koschei’s direction. “I happen to know that they feed the Ceruleans way worse than they feed the Scendels!”

“Who cares?”

He shrugged. “Not you, apparently. Can you just get back to cooking breakfast for me, please?”

Koschei rolled his eyes once more and returned to making pancakes. The recipe was a bit dated, but he was fairly confident that it was still going to work. After all, times had changed, but ingredients hadn’t. They were still the same. Well, not exactly the same. At least, Koschei hoped that that he wasn’t using the same chocolate chunks from a thousand years ago.

He mixed up the batter, then poured it onto the pan in the shape of three circles. He would have to do that a few times to make all the pancakes, which was going to take far longer than he would have preferred. Once they were done on one side, he flipped them over, then did it all over again. Theta better be hungry.

“Are they done yet?” asked Theta. He walked over and peered over Koschei’s shoulder. “They look done.”

Koschei threw one at him. “Here. This one is finished.”

Theta smiled, then took a bite and turned away from him. By the time Koschei was done with the pancakes on the stove and could turn back to look at him again, he saw that the pancake was gone, and he gave himself a pat on the back. Theta must have liked it if he had eaten it that fast, and without even putting on any butter and syrup. Suddenly, his mind was racing with ideas.

Maybe he should take up cooking as a hobby? It _was_ pretty fun. He could make things all the time, become a chef, enter competitions, win awards; it certainly sounded like a good life.

He kept thinking about that as he finished the last of the pancakes. It gave him something to look forward to long term. Short term, he was ready to try some of his fluffy pancakes.

He fixed himself a plate and sat down beside Theta, a smile on his face.

Theta didn’t smile back.

//

Meanwhile, the rest of the Deca were in the dining hall, eating their normal meal just like everyone else did. They started eating in silence, but as happened every day, one of them started to complain about something. That day, it was Drax who spoke first.

“Oh, my god, I am so screwed,” he groaned. He dramatically but carefully tossed his phone onto the table. “I can’t do it. It’s impossible.”

“Drax,” Jelpax began, “we have to do presentations all the time. What’s so different about this one?”

“I don’t know anything about temporal theory, if you haven’t noticed, and our professor really hates me. She is not going to curve my grade again.”

“I know, but—”

“There are no buts, Jelpax. I’m doomed.” He dropped his head into his hands and sighed loudly.

“Not as screwed as me,” said Rallon. He took a sip of his soda before continuing. “I’m partners with Vansell for the emotional detachment assignment! What am I going to do with this guy?” He jabbed a thumb in Vansell’s direction.

Vansell just shrugged in response. “You’re the stupid one. I’m the one who should really be freaking out.”

“Stupid? Please. I could do this entire assignment on my own if I wanted to.”

“Okay. Do it. Then you won’t have to worry about me.”

“Fine, I will.”

“Okay.”

“Good.”

“Anyway,” said Drax as he pushed a hand through his bangs, “let’s get back to my problems. I don’t even know where to begin on this stupid project. How do I write it? How to I present it? How do I go up there without stuttering and making a fool of myself?”

“I’ve got your back, Drax.” Jelpax gave him a reassuring smile. “I’ll tutor you and I can help you figure it out, okay?”

He nodded. “Okay, sounds good. When should we do it?”

“After dinner tonight?”

“Sure.” He looked around suddenly and frowned. “Hey, where are Mortimus and Ushas?”

//

“This isn’t possible,” said Ushas. She shook her head slowly. “This is actually not possible. You are completely impossible.”

Mortimus smirked. “Thank you.”

The two of them were in Ushas’s room, as she checked him over for any damage after his fall. She had inspected him from all angles, and on each obvious part of his body, but he didn’t seem to have been injured at all. Not a scratch nor a bruise. It made her downright furious, but she made sure not to let Mortimus know that she was aching to learn how he had come out unscathed.

“It’s not a compliment, you idiot. I’m angry at you.”

“You’re angry at me? What did I do?”

Ushas stared at him in disbelief. “Well, let’s start with when you decided that it would be a really good idea to play around on the roof of the building.”

“Hey! I was not playing. I was exploring.”

“You were flaunting around all willy nilly right by the edge. In fact, I think you leaned over it more than a few times to look down at Magnus and I. You barely even walked around up there or looked at anything besides down. Aside from the roof that you were standing on, you saw nothing that you’ve never seen before. Explain to me how that is even remotely exploration.”

“I’ve never been on the roof before. I went to a new location, and it was very interesting.”

“That doesn’t make it exploration. It was hardly even a new location to begin with.”

“Well, that’s your opinion.” Mortimus shrugged and sat up. He leaned back against the bed frame. “Everyone is entitled to their own.”

“Yeah? Well, yours just happens to disagree with mine, which makes it incorrect.”

He rolled his eyes. “Because you’re always right.”

“Yes,” she said, “I am.”

“No, you’re not. No one is _always_ right.”

“Go tell that to Magnus.”

“He would agree with me.”

“Please.” Ushas scoffed and flipped her hair back over her shoulder. “He would disagree with you just because he doesn’t like you.”

“Yes, but mentally he would be agreeing with me.” Mortimus smiled.

“You know what? I am not going to do this with you.”

“Okay. Bye.”

Mortimus didn’t even bother to wave as Ushas stormed out of the room, leaving him alone at last.

//

It was the last class before lunch, and Theta was still popping mints into his mouth at every opportunity. The aftertaste was even worse than what he had suffered through that morning, and no matter what he did, he couldn’t seem to get rid of it. Not with lemon water, soda, or mints. His plan at that point was just to dull the flavor enough to last until lunch, but he was still checking the clock ten times a minute. Time could not possibly move fast enough.

For once, he couldn’t wait to get to the dining hall to eat his slop. The taste of that would most certainly cover up the aftertaste of Koschei’s hellcakes, as Theta was calling them, and he would never have to taste them again.

When the bell finally rang, he most literally skipped out of the classroom, a look of relief on his face. He bounced all the way to the dining hall, grabbed his food, and sat down in between Magnus and Rallon, wrapping an arm around each of them after he placed his plate onto the table. Magnus whacked his hand, which caused Theta to pull away from them both and dig into the nasty sludge in front of him. Oh, mashed whatever-it-was had never tasted so sweet.

“Oh, my god, I’m doomed!” Drax cried. He sat down across from Theta and Magnus, and Jelpax slid into the seat beside him, a shrug on his shoulders.

“You’ll be fine.”

Drax looked at his roommate as if he was insane. “How? You saw that demonstration! I can’t do that. I can’t even copy your assignments properly. How am I meant to write and present my own?”

Theta snorted as Jelpax rolled his eyes. Drax and Jelpax might have been great friends, but somehow, they always managed to push every one of each other’s buttons.

“We were just talking about this last night,” he said. “Have you forgotten what I said already?”

“I have a poor memory.”

“Yeah, a really, dreadfully poor memory.” Magnus scoffed and shook his head. “You were supposed to steal me new calligraphy brushes like a month ago.”

“Was that you who asked for that?” asked Drax. “I couldn’t remember. They’re still in my drawer, I think.”

“No, I took them,” said Theta. “Thought I’d try my hand at it.”

Drax glanced nervously at Magnus. “I’ll get them by breakfast.”

“Try dinner. Tonight.”

“On it.” He stood up and looked to Jelpax. “Meet me in Borusa’s room after dinner.”

“Got it,” said Jelpax. He motioned for him to leave.

Drax ran off, and just as he was leaving, Koschei appeared in the doorway, a covered, silver platter in his hand. Theta nearly burst into tears right then and there, as he knew that he only had about sixteen seconds to come up with a plan. However, it was not enough time to come up with anything decent, and he failed to do so.

“Hello, Theta,” Koschei beamed. He placed the platter down onto the table, and Theta’s stomach churned. “I brought you some freshly cooked lunch.” He picked up Theta’s old sludge and tossed it into the bin, then shoved the platter in front of him. “Ta da!” He took the lid off the platter, revealing a plate of sandwiches.

Sandwiches. They couldn’t possibly be that bad. In fact, they were probably good. No one could mess up sandwiches; not even Koschei. Theta smiled at his friend, then picked up a sandwich and took a bite out of it.

It was no ordinary sandwich. There was something in it that tasted absolutely foul, and Theta quickly realized that it was the homemade dressing. It took a long time, but Theta managed to force down the entire sandwich and put a smile on his face.

“Mm,” he said, his tone incapable of being any more fake. “That was sure something, Kos. I’m stuffed. I think I’ll go get a cookie now.” He went to stand up, but Koschei stopped him.

“No need. I already made some!”

“Great,” Theta whimpered. “Just great.”

He had to blink back tears as he took a bite of the demon cookie. Koschei watched him with great interest, his eyes lighting up every time Theta took another bite. Once the cookie was finally gone, Koschei grinned.

“How was it?” he asked. Theta replied with only a thumbs up and a nod. “Yes! You know, I think I might actually go into culinary arts when it’s time to choose our jobs for work experience. It’ll be great.”

Theta shook his head frantically. “No. No, you should really stick with cosmic science. You’re way too good for culinary arts.”

“What’s wrong with culinary arts?” he snapped. “Do you think that smart people can’t work in that field? That it’s only for stupid people?”

“God, Koschei, don’t be so offended. I just meant that you could really do something better, and more suited to your major. You’re a super smart, super skilled bloke, and I think that you were destined to do something more. Become the President, perhaps?”

Koschei scoffed. “Please. No one in this school right now has the potential of becoming the President. I am smart and skilled, but even I don’t want that job.”

“Fine, then. Go into culinary arts.” Theta sighed. “But you might want to practice before then. A lot. Like, a lot, a lot.”

“Okay, I will. I’ll make food every day.”

Theta couldn’t stop his eyes from going wide with terror. “Follow the directions exactly,” he pleaded. “Don’t tamper with the recipes at all.”

“Where’s the fun in that?” asked Koschei. He smiled. “Well, I’ve got to get to class a bit early to talk to my professor. See you guys later.”

As soon as Koschei was out of sight, Theta let his head fall into his hands and he groaned loudly.

“I can’t believe you actually ate that,” Magnus commented. “It smells like fucking piss.” He breathed in and almost instantly winced. “Holy mother of Rassilon, that is foul.”

“It tastes even worse,” Theta moaned. He shook his head. “I can’t eat any more of it!”

“Just tell him that,” said Millennia, who, up to that point, had remained silent. “No good is going to come from you keeping secrets.”

“Easy for you to say. He’ll hate me if he finds out that I’ve been lying. You know how Kos is.”

“How do you know he’s not just playing you?” asked Magnus. “You know Koschei. Loves a good prank.”

“He wouldn’t do that to me.”

“Says who?”

Theta shook his head as he stood up. “Never mind.” He coughed and grabbed his backpack. “I’ve got to go vomit now, so I’ll see you guys in class. Bye.”

He stood up and left the dining hall, not sparing one last glance to his circle of friends behind him.

//

“First up are Rallon and Vansell,” said Professor Borusa.

Rallon mentally groaned. “Please, oh please, no,” he mumbled. “I can’t take this anymore. I’ve already done enough.”

Vansell and Rallon were sitting in emotional attachment class when it happened. Professor Borusa asked them all to come up and explain the topic that they had chosen for their project, and why. The actual reports were not due until two days later, but he had always liked to ensure that the students were actually spending ample time on their assignments. It was miserable.

“Just remember,” said Vansell, a smirk on his face, “you’re doing all the talking.”

“I know.” Rallon nodded reluctantly as he pushed back his chair and rose from his seat. He took his time walking up to the front of the classroom, then cleared his throat several times before finally speaking. “Hello,” he said. “For our assignment, we’ve decided to pursue the art of blocking out our anger. It’s been proven to be one of the most difficult emotions to control, as it’s nearly impossible to resist it.”

Professor Borusa nodded. “Vansell, why don’t you tell us why that is?”

Rallon grinned smugly. Vansell hadn’t helped with the assignment at all up to that point. He had no idea what he was supposed to say, and the whole thing was about to come back and bite him in the ass.

“It’s because when you’re sad or happy or most other things, it’s not normally because of any person, and if it is, you don’t have the urge to respond to them. However, with anger, the only thing you typically want to do it fight back. Not to mention that it is an extremely tippy temperament, and sometimes you just get angry without even understanding why.”

“A good summary, Vansell. I see you’ve been paying attention in class.”

Rallon narrowed his eyes. “Actually, Professor, I’ve found a flaw in what he said.” He shot Vansell a look. “He’s dramatized anger, as if it’s different from the other emotions. He’s made it seem like that is the only emotion that other people can induce, but it’s not. Other people can make you sad, or happy, as well as angry.”

“That is true,” said Professor Borusa, “I can’t deny that. However, Vansell was only giving a generalization, which makes what he said correct.”

Vansell looked at Rallon, a smug smile on his face. Rallon rolled his eyes but was careful not to let their professor see. “Yes, Professor.”

“You are both doing well so far. Back to your seats.”

Vansell did not let the smug expression fall from his face for the entire rest of the class period.

//

Koschei was smiling when he got back to his room that evening. He couldn’t wait to get back to the kitchen to get cooking again. He was having so much fun with it that he was truly considering taking it up as his career. After all, it might be goofy, but you don’t pick your talents, nor your passion.

Before he could grab his recipe book, he gasped. Theta was lying on his bed, his face buried in his pillow. Koschei could not see most of his skin due to his robes, but his cheeks were obviously pale. He rushed over to his friend’s side and shook his shoulders.

“Thete?” he said. “Thete, wake up! Thete!”

Theta grumbled as he flipped over onto his back. Koschei was able to see that his face was not just pale, but tinged green as well. “What, Kos?” he snapped.

“I knew it.” Koschei sighed and shook his head. “I knew it,” he repeated. “That damned food in the dining hall gave you food poisoning!”

“Yeah.” Theta nodded and sat up slowly. “Yeah, it was the food from the dining hall. What else would it be, right?”

“Well then, that settles it. No more disgusting slop for you. From now on, it’s homemade and homemade only.”

“No!” he protested. “No, no, no, no, no. You don’t have to do that. This is the first time it’s happened, and I don’t want you spending too much of your time on me.”

“It’s not all on you,” said Koschei. Theta was sure acting bizarre. “It would be on me too. After all, I am going to be switching my major.”

“Please don’t,” Theta mumbled.

“What?”

“I said ‘please do’,” he said quickly.

Koschei nodded. “Oh, okay.”

“So, anyway, what good are you going to be force feed—I mean, serving me tonight?”

“I was thinking some kind of pasta? I don’t know. I was considering making my own kind of sauce to put on top. I’ve never invented any kind of food before and I thought that it might be fun.”

“Are you sure?” he asked. “Some of that stuff you were making me seemed pretty unique. I thought for sure that you made that pancake recipe on your own!”

“Well, I didn’t,” said Koschei. He furrowed his brow. Theta wasn’t just acting odd; he was acting really bizarre. “I just copied it out of a cookbook. I wasn’t advanced enough to be creating my own foods back then.”

“But you are now?”

“Yeah.”

“Eight hours later?”

“Well, duh. This is going to be my third meal. I think that’s good enough.”

Koschei didn’t notice Theta drop back down onto the pillows as he left the room, nor did he hear his roommate scream into his cushions.

//

“Seriously, who did you take them from?”

“It doesn’t matter. They’re just brushes.”

Jelpax rolled his eyes. “Just brushes?” he said. “Those were like, the most expensive brushes on the market.”

“I know. I thought that Magnus deserved something nice after how long I neglected him for. It just seemed like the right thing to do.”

“You’ve probably ruined someone’s life.” He paused before speaking again. “And you don’t even like Magnus.”

“They don’t care.” Drax shrugged, ignoring Jelpax’s second comment. “It’ll be fine. Let’s just get to work. What are you going to show me first?”

“What do you mean? You invited me here.”

It was about half an hour past dinner that evening, and Jelpax and Drax were in Borusa’s classroom, just as they had agreed upon that afternoon. They had yet to accomplish a thing up to that point, aside from discussing random topics, and even Drax was ready to start studying at that point.

“Yeah, to help me with my presentation.”

Jelpax nodded. “Okay,” he said. “So, then, what do you want to start with? The assignment itself, or how you’re going to be presenting it?”

“Hm, I think how I’m going to present it,” Drax answered. “That way I’ll have something to look forward to while I’m working on the boring part of the project.”

“Okay, then. If you say so.”

“I do say so.”

“Then let’s get started.” He stood up and walked up to the front of the room. “So, you’re going to want to look really bold and confident, for one thing. You normally have a sort of reserved look to you, and you can’t come off like that here. It’ll make you look small.”

“Reserved?” Drax looked mildly shocked. “How am I reserved? I’m the biggest loudmouth in the entire Academy.”

Jelpax sighed. “I know you’re the biggest loudmouth, but that’s when you’re talking to or about other people. Not yourself. You rarely talk about yourself or in front of other people, and when you do, you clearly lack self-confidence.” He ignored Drax’s offended scoff. “So, what we need to work on is getting you to a point where you can be confident without anyone having to tell you that you’re actually good at things. Basically, stand like me.”

Drax sighed and stood up. “Okay, I’m standing. Not exactly like you, but I’m standing.”

“That won’t do. You have to look like me.”

“Why?”

He rolled his eyes. “Were you not listening to me at all?” he asked. “Because you need to look more confident. No one will take you seriously if you haven’t got that ‘listen to me, I’m important’ look.”

“This is stupid.” Drax crossed his arms and looked away, shaking his head slowly. “I do _not_ lack self-confidence. I can tell people anything and they’ll believe me. Look, I’m telling you off right now.”

“That’s not what self-confidence is.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“Thank you. Now, look.” He walked over to Drax, then put one hand on his back and the other on his chest. He pushed him into position, so that he was finally standing up straight. “Look at that. You seem more confident already.” He walked around to observe his student from the front, then shook his head. “Eyes up. Don’t stare at the ground so much.”

“Okay.” Drax looked up, catching Jelpax’s gaze. “I’m standing decently now. Can you teach me how to talk without stumbling over every single word?”

Jelpax nodded. “Yes, I think I can do that. So, first, you have to pretend that no one is listening.”

“What? I thought that you were supposed to imagine them nude or something?”

“No, that’s stupid. That always makes people even less focused. What you want to do is focus on the fact that even though they’re all there, most of them probably aren’t even listening to you. I mean, let’s be honest. Do you listen when other people are doing their presentations?”

Drax shook his head. “Nah. It’s right dull.”

“My point exactly. Most of the room is probably just staring at you, pretending that they know what you’re talking about when, in reality, they really have no clue, and no interest in finding out. Actually, they’re probably only even looking at you because they don’t want the professor to realize that they’re not listening.”

“Ushas would be the exception to that, then.”

“Yeah.” Jelpax nodded. Drax seemed like he was starting to understand it. “Exactly. That’s what I’m talking about. There’s only like, five people in the entire Academy right now who are actually going to listen to you. That means that the only person you need to worry about impressing is our professor.”

“Of course.”

“Makes sense now, yeah?”

Drax nodded slowly. “Yeah. Yeah, it does. I have to explain things I know nothing about to one person, looking like I’m about to give a presidential speech.”

“Yeah, that’s about it.”

“Well, that’s a serious load of rubbish.”

“You’re going to do it anyway,” said Jelpax.

“Of course.” Drax rolled his eyes. “I said it was rubbish, not that I wasn’t going to do it. You’re brilliant. If I didn’t listen to you, I would be an idiot.”

Jelpax grinned. “I think that’s the truest thing that has ever come out of your mouth.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” He scoffed. “Let’s just do this. Am I still standing correctly?”

“Not at all.”

“Good. What’s the next step?”

//

“So, then I was thinking that I should jump off of something else. You know, to see if my theory is correct.”

Ushas stopped dead in her tracks and took a long, deep breath before saying anything. The situation had hit a point so ridiculously insane that she wasn’t sure what she should say.

“Mortimus, I’m not sure how you’re completely fine, but however it is that you are, you are definitely not a superhero. You cannot fly, you are not invincible, and you are far from intangible.”

“See, that’s where you’re wrong,” Mortimus argued. He wiggled his pointer finger at her. “I’m almost completely certain that I’m right. I mean, I’m not sure which of my theories is correct, but I know that it has to be one of them.”

“I’ll give you a hint: it’s none of them. Just shut up about this whole thing. It’s all rubbish.”

Mortimus shook his head, a sympathetic expression on his face. “I know you’re having a hard time coming to terms with this, Ushas, but it’s true. I am better than you. I have powers, and you don’t. You’re jealous. I know. I understand.”

Ushas’s jaw dropped. She stared at him in a loss for words. “Are you serious?” she gaped. “ _You_? Better than _me_?”

“Yeah, duh. You might be smarter, but I think my powers put me ahead in another category.”

“One that is entirely inaccurate. You’re basing this on only a single event and what seems to be a _lot_ of assumptions. I can guarantee you that you’re wrong. Were you to jump off of anything else—something higher, perhaps—you would break something, or end up severely injured in some way.”

“Fine. If you’re so fixated on this, then I’ll prove it to you. Meet me back here at exactly seven tonight.”

“No.”

“Why not?” Mortimus crossed his arms, a smug grin appearing on his face and leaking into his dark brown eyes. “Too afraid of finding out that you’re wrong?”

Ushas laughed. “Please. I just want to meet in another location. In case you didn’t notice, we’re in the middle of a random corridor right now. How are we supposed to remember where we’re at? Not to mention that there could be other people around, and they might try to sabotage you.”

“Hm, yeah, you’re right. Meet outside my door. Same time.”

“All right.”

They finally resumed walking, and Ushas took the lead, Mortimus following a short distance behind. He had a mildly confused expression on his face, and Ushas sighed.

“What now?” she asked, as Mortimus came to a halt.

“My class is that way,” he said. He blinked a few times, then turned around and walked back the other direction.

Ushas shook her head as she watched him go. Mortimus had always been pretty weird, and it always seemed like he had maxed out the freak scale, but somehow, he managed to get even more strange. Every single day.

//

“I’ve already thrown up twice today,” Theta whined. “I can’t do it anymore!”

“It’s been two days,” said Magnus. “Suck it up.”

“Give him a break,” Millennia scolded. “He just wants to make sure that he lets Koschei down nicely.”

Nine out of ten members of the Deca were sitting in the dining hall, attempting to eat their lunch. Theta had eaten nothing up to that point, as he felt far too sick to, and he knew that he was just going to throw up again because of whatever Koschei decided to feed him. He hadn’t yet found the courage to tell Koschei how he really felt about the meals, and not even Millennia’s pep talks were helping him.

“I just can’t do it,” he moped. “He’ll hate me if I tell him!”

“Who?” asked Koschei. He was suddenly standing behind Theta, holding a stack of crêpes in one hand.

“Uh, Epsilon,” Theta answered quickly. It was a stupid answer, he realized, but it was better than nothing. “He thinks we kicked him out of the Deca.”

“He’s not in the Deca.”

“Exactly.”

“Just tell him the truth.” Koschei snorted. “I’m pretty sure that we already hate him way more than he’s ever going to hate us.”

“Yeah, yeah, anyway, I’ve got to tell you something.”

“Tell me over a crêpe.”

Theta winced when Koschei stuffed a fruit-filled crêpe into his hand. The fruit was obviously not ripe, and the crêpe was clearly not cooked all the way. How had he even managed to under-cook a crêpe, Theta wondered? They were literally the thinnest food ever! He took a small, slow bite out of the crepe, then gave Koschei a fake thumbs up and a smile.

“That is really something, Kos.”

Koschei raised an eyebrow. “You’ve said that about everything so far. Are you sure you mean that in a good way?”

“Yeah.” He nodded, hoping that he sounded as convincing as he wanted to. “What, Magnus?”

“Nothing.” Magnus, who had been failing to keep his laughs under control, suddenly fell silent. He turned to Koschei. “You’re just so thick, I couldn’t help it.”

“Thick? How am I thick? I know how to make crêpes, don’t I?”

“Not good ones,” said Magnus. Theta finished his crêpe, then crossed his fingers under the table.

 _Please don’t tell him_ , he thought. _Please don’t tell him_.

“Theta hates your food. You’ve given him food poisoning three times in two days. It’s a bloody record.”

“Shut up. He doesn’t hate it, do you, Thete?” He got no answer. “Thete?”

Though Theta had tried to keep himself quiet, he couldn’t, not even with the help of the hand he kept over his mouth. Within seconds of Koschei speaking, the crêpe was no longer in Theta’s stomach.

//

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Van. This is probably the easiest thing I’ve ever done in my life. I certainly don’t need your help.”

“Good. Then I won’t tell you which one of those facts you’ve got wrong.”

Vansell was enjoying himself. The more he worked on the project, the more Rallon seemed to struggle, and it was becoming more hilarious each second. Despite being clueless, Rallon was determined to keep his word, and had no plans to ask Vansell for help.

“I’ve got something wrong?” Rallon gaped. His shoulders sagged. “Which one?”

“I can’t tell you,” he said smugly. “You said that you don’t want any help.”

“You’re right. I’ll, uh, figure it out on my own. I don’t need anyone to tell me what I did wrong or right. I know what I did wrong and right.”

He pulled out his study book, then began to flip through it. Vansell watched him, a grin on his face. He was even happier than he had been, and for one simple reason.

There was no wrong answer. Rallon was on a wild goose chase.

//

“How can you possibly believe that it’s a good idea?” Ushas asked, her brown eyes wide. She had nearly not shown up to meet Mortimus, but ultimately decided that she had to—if only to find out what stupid stunt he was planning to pull.

Mortimus just shrugged in response. He hadn’t really thought about it too much. It seemed like his plan would work.

“I can’t think of anything that’s going to go wrong,” he said.

“Everything I can think of is going to go wrong.”

He rolled his eyes. “You just don’t want to admit that you’re wrong.”

“I can’t even,” Ushas said. “If I said that I wasn’t right, then I would be lying, because I am right.”

“You’ll see,” Mortimus snapped. He shook his head, fury burning in his eyes. “You’ll all see!”

He took off down the hall, not a care wasted on the people who stared at him as he dramatically flapped his arms about while he ran. He was ready to put his plan into action, and nothing was going to stop him.

//

Theta groaned as soon as he woke up. He didn’t open his eyes right away—he wasn’t ready to. He felt like garbage. Like a literal pile of garbage. His stomach was churning, and even though he couldn’t see his own face, he knew that it must have been as green as Arcalians’ robes.

He opened his eyes slowly but snapped them shut as soon as he saw Koschei sitting beside him. He tried to act as if he was still asleep, but it was a lost cause.

“Theta,” said Koschei, “I know that you’re awake. Open your eyes.”

“I’m not awake,” Theta mumbled. He didn’t move at all. “I’m still sleeping.”

“You don’t talk in your sleep. Get up.”

Theta used his arms to push himself up. His head swirled as he slowly positioned himself against the bed frame, and the world seemed to spin in circles around him. It was obvious that he would need more rest to fully recover. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and looked at Koschei, hoping that his expression was apologetic enough.

“I’m sorry, Kos,” he said.

Koschei did not respond to him. He shook his head and looked out the window, his arms crossed firmly against his chest. It was only then that Theta noticed he was not in his own room, but the hospital wing. He must have passed out after eating Koschei’s crappy crêpes.

“Come on, Kos,” he said. “Please.”

“Was it really that bad?” Koschei asked quietly, his eyes still watching something outside of the window.

Theta didn’t want to answer his friend. Him and Koschei had been best friends since day one at the Academy, and he hated it when anything came in between them. If he told Koschei the complete truth, he could single-handedly destroy their friendship. He had to choose his words wisely.

“Well, I mean, to be honest,” said Theta, stumbling over his words, “yeah. It was terrible. All of it. Worst stuff I have ever had the displeasure of eating. In fact, I’m wondering if you actually ate it at all. Was it a joke? Is that what it was? Did you mean to make it foul? Because if you did, bravo. You have designed a poison that could probably take out every race in the universe.”

Koschei’s jaw dropped as he turned back to face Theta. His eyes were wide and shocked, and Theta suddenly wondered if he had chosen the wrong thing to say.

“Well?” said Theta, after Koschei had failed to respond after ample time. “Are you going to say something? If not, you’d best get me a bottle of water. I can still taste whatever the hell that last thing you made me eat was.”

Koschei’s shoulders sagged. He stood up and walked out of the room, not looking back once. Theta recognized how hurt his feelings were, and he decided to come up with an idea to cheer him up. Unfortunately, Theta’s imagination was not quite in working order, and by the time Koschei came back, his well of ideas was still dry.

Theta reached for the bottle of water as soon as Koschei held it out. He couldn’t really taste Koschei’s cuisine anymore, but his throat was incredibly dry and scratchy. Though he wanted to down the drink fast, he took his time, hoping that Koschei wouldn’t say anything until he was finished. That way he would be able to come up with something to say first.

Koschei did not look at Theta when he sat down, and he continued to stare straight ahead when he finally spoke.

“You are so cocky,” he said. He was biting his bottom lip and shaking his head slowly.

Theta frowned. “Cocky? That’s all you have to say?”

“Yeah. You’re cocky.”

“Fuck you.”

Koschei turned to him sharply. “Excuse me?”

“What the hell does me being cocky have to do with your disgusting food?”

“Nothing. It’s just the way that you addressed the matter. How full of yourself can you be? Did you not think a single one of those words was going to bother me?”

Theta rolled his eyes. His head was still pounding, but he was starting to feel a bit better. “I think you meant to say that I’m arrogant.”

“No, I meant cocky.”

“Get a dictionary. You described me as arrogant.”

“No, I didn’t. I’m going to be honest. I called you cocky because you _are_ better than most people. To tell the truth, despite your atrocious grades, you’re one of the best students in our year.”

“I know.”

“There you go again.” Koschei sighed. “Maybe you should really stop to think about other people at some point. Your words can be really hurtful.”

Theta nodded slowly, as if he was speaking to a child. “Yeah, I know. That’s why I use them. Get a brain, Kos.”

He rolled his eyes. “I have one, and I might mention that it’s bigger than yours.”

“Duh. It has to hold your ego,” he snapped. “And anyway, you’re bigger than me as a whole. I’ll be honest, I’m as tiny as a forty-year-old girl. It sucks.”

“At least you admit to it.”

“Yeah, I do. So how about you admit to being to being the worst cook in the universe and we’ll call it even?”

“No way. There are definitely worse cooks out there than me. And I’m not a cook, I’m a chef.”

Theta snorted. “You’ve been cooking for less than a week. You’re the worst at it.”

“Please. Can you imagine if Mortimus tried to cook?”

“I’m just going to push that thought out of my mind before I can imagine it. Just admit that you stink, or at least apologize for giving me food poisoning.”

“Fine.” Koschei sighed. “I’m sorry for giving you food poisoning. I didn’t know that your body couldn’t tolerate edible substances.”

Theta gave him a look ready to kill. “Fuck you.”

“You already said that.”

“I know. It felt appropriate to say it again.”

“Okay. Then fuck you too.”

“Okay, fine. I’m fucked.”

“Me too.”

“Good.”

“Good.”

“So, are we even now?”

Koschei hesitated. “Yeah, why not?” he said. “We’re good. So should I get us something to eat?”

Theta’s stomach lurched. “No. Not even if it’s coming in a microwavable container.”

“I won’t make it. I’ll get it from the dining hall.”

“Okay, then. Bring it back here in less than five minutes and we shall discuss something in a civilized manner.”

“Sounds good to me.”

“Good, me too.”

Koschei disappeared out the door, and Theta smiled to himself. Maybe he hadn’t admitted that he was the worst cook ever, but at least they weren’t fighting anymore. All Theta had left to worry about was whether or not the dining hall was serving sludge that evening.

Even if it was better than Koschei’s crêpes, he doubted he would be able to keep it down.

//

Mortimus unwrapped his cape from his neck and let it hang free behind him. He had been wearing it like a tight scarf before, for fear of what might happen to him if it managed to get snagged on his way up. He spent too long assembling his costume to end up ruining it right before action time.

His plan had seemed simple at first; do something heroic, get it on tape, and prove Ushas wrong. However, it had gone wrong several times before he finally made it to where he was sitting at that point. No one else wanted to be involved in his stunt, which was how he ended up with the camera strapped to his head. He made sure that it had loads of free memory so that he could record his way up and down from his spot.

Mortimus finally looked down. He wasn’t sure just how tall the tree was that he picked, but it was definitely one of the biggest ones in the forest. The fall would be from much further up than the roof he had jumped off the first time. Not that the tree was taller than the whole Academy, just the part that he had fallen off of. He would have liked to jump from the highest point on the building, but unfortunately, that was off-limits, and he failed to find a way to break in.

He took a deep breath. It was time. He was going to jump, all the way down to the ground beneath him. If there was ground beneath him. He was so high up in the tree that he could barely even see it anymore. It was all just a blur of needles and leaves.

He adjusted his cape, took a deep breath, and let himself fall.

The closer Mortimus got to the ground, the more he rethought his plan. When he had jumped off the building, he landed in a soft bed of grass. That time, however, there was no grass in sight. It was all covered up with sticks and pine needles, their sharp points seeming to aim right for him, as if they were there with the intent of stabbing him.

He tried to cover his face, but it was too late. The second he collided with the ground, Mortimus screamed.

//

Rallon had been at a standstill for nearly an hour when he finally reached his breaking point. He was staring at the paper in front of him, tapping his pencil against his leg absently as he attempted to come up with any sort of answer to whatever problem he might have been trying to solve. Vansell was pretending not to notice. After all, Rallon had agreed to work on the project alone.

“Please, please, finish this,” Rallon blurted out. The sudden speech startled Vansell and he looked over from his seat. “I don’t want to work on it anymore. I _can’t_ work on it anymore. It’s impossible. I know nothing about this.”

“I told you that you’d get stuck, you moron.”

“Just shut up and help me or we’re both going to get a bad grade.”

Vansell sighed and swung his legs over the side of his bed. Apparently, Rallon had finally come to his senses and realized that it was more important to pass the class than to prove Vansell wrong and was desperate to get their project finished correctly. That or he was just bored of working on it. Knowing Rallon, it could go either way.

Vansell sat down on the floor beside him and looked over at the project. He shook his head slowly.

“First things first,” he said. He held out his hand. “Pay up.”

“What?” asked Rallon, furrowing his brow. “I’m not paying you—”

“Yes, you are. We made a bet and I won. Now pay up.”

“Fine.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a wad of cash, then placed it into Vansell’s hand. “Good? Okay. What do we do first?”

Vansell flipped through the cash before placing it into his own pocket. He flipped through Rallon’s notes and inspected the poster-board, then turned back to his roommate.

“First,” he said, “we’re going to throw all of this away and start from scratch.”

“What?! I’ve spent hours on this!”

“And it’s all wrong. Do you want to pass or not?”

He sighed. “I want to pass.”

“Then quit arguing with me and listen.”

Rallon groaned when Vansell grabbed a pencil and paper and started to jot down ideas. It was going to be a long night.

//

Theta flopped down onto his bed. He was already in a much better mood than he was just an hour earlier. Shortly after eating, the nurse had allowed him to leave the hospital wing, and he was free of the sanitary hellhole. It wasn’t that bad, as he hadn’t been in there very long, but if he had been in there for more than a day, he would have gone mad. Even spending the night in there would have been dreadful.

Him and Koschei had not spoken too much over dinner, but after the ‘f-bomb incident’, they weren’t really mad at each other anymore.

A few minutes after Theta had gotten comfortable on his bed, a book in his hands, the door swung open and Koschei walked into the room.

“Sorry,” he said, as he sat down on his own bed.

Theta dropped his book and sat up quickly. “What?” he asked, the surprise clear in his voice. “You’re what?”

“Sorry,” Koschei repeated. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to give you food poisoning. I just wanted to try out something new.”

“Oh. It’s okay. I get it. I just think that you should get your tongue checked.”

“My tongue?”

“Yeah. There is something seriously wrong with your taste buds, and maybe your stomach too. How did you not have a terrible reaction to that crap you made me eat?”

Koschei shrugged. “I’m just tough, I suppose.”

“You’re tough because you can down food? It’s funny, Mortimus has the same ability.”

“And Drax.”

“You’re right.” Theta laughed. “You three are the only ones who can eat like that. Stomachs of steel.”

“You got that right.” Koschei nodded. He didn’t smile but stared at the wall in front of him. “I really am sorry, Thete. I didn’t mean for anything bad to happen. I just wanted to do something nice, and I thought that it would be fun.”

“It was a good effort. A good effort with incredibly poor results, but a good effort nonetheless.”

He sighed and flopped down onto his pillows. “Thank you for that blatant lie.”

“I said that it was poor. How is that a lie?”

“Because it was a tremendous failure. Poor is a complete understatement.”

“You’re right about that.” Theta chuckled. “You are absolutely terrible, and I mean total offense by that.”

Koschei did not respond, and the room was suddenly filled with near silence. The only sound to be heard was the faint drum of Koschei’s fingers against his bed frame, which seemed to move in a rhythm. _One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four._

Theta almost wished that things had turned out differently, and that Koschei actually was a good cook. Not just because it would have made him happy, but because he would have liked to have something homemade to eat from time to time.

“So, what now?” asked Koschei. He stopped drumming abruptly, and the room fell still.

Theta shrugged. “Sleep?” he suggested. “I know that it’s a little bit early, but I’m beat.”

“Okay. ‘Night, Thete.”

“‘Night, Kos.”

//

“This is complete tosh,” said Drax, before throwing his pencil across the room. It collided with a picture above his desk, which knocked the nail free. It crashed down onto the floor.

Drax and Jelpax were sitting on the floor of their dorm room, in between their beds. Jelpax had been attempting to help his roommate with his assignment for nearly three hours at that point, and had yet to make any progress. It was starting to seem like a lost cause.

“I can’t do it,” he went on. “I’ll never get this done in time.”

“It’s because you’re not trying,” said Jelpax. He placed his own pencil down and leaned back on his arms.

“Shut up!” Drax snapped. “Who the hell gave you the right to tell me what I am and I’m not trying to do? Maybe I just suck at it. I suck at temporal theory!”

“We’ve been going over the same concept for the last two hours. How can you not see that after all this work,you should at least understand it enough to write and present a simple presentation on it?”

Drax said nothing. He shook his head slowly and slumped back against his bed. The lack of self-confidence had returned, and Jelpax nearly commented on it, but decided against it. Drax was already bummed out enough, and he didn’t need anything to make it worse. Besides, his posture was clearly not the biggest issue at the moment.

It just didn’t make sense to Jelpax. How could he not understand a simple concept? Was there even a way to explain it to him? He hadn’t meant to upset Drax, but it really seemed like he wasn’t putting in any effort. Jelpax had already explained it at least a dozen ways, and none of them had gotten through to Drax. He was still just as confused as when they had started.

“I’m sorry,” Drax said, his voice barely above a whisper. He looked up towards the ceiling and blinked rapidly, something he always did when he was frustrated. “I didn’t mean to snap at you. It’s just—I’m trying. I really am. I just can’t grasp this stupid concept. It doesn’t make any sense to me.”

“I know.” Jelpax nodded. “I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have said that you weren’t trying. I know that you don’t understand temporal theory, and I get that. I didn’t really understand emotional detachment at first either. Some things just take longer for people to learn.”

“It’s not just— I mean, I— never mind.” He sniffed and raised a hand in the air dismissively.

“No, tell me.”

“Fine. Okay.” He took a deep breath. “So, I might have lied when I told you I did well on my exams last month.”

“What?”

“Yeah, I’m sort of scraping by in almost every subject because none of them make sense to me. Well, actually, yeah, every subject.”

“What?” Jelpax made a face. He knew that Drax didn’t have the best grades, but he certainly wasn’t failing, and temporal theory was the only class that he had ever complained about.

“I can’t get anything,” he said. “I’m not even really learning. None of it makes sense. Nothing. There is literally nothing that I’ve learned that I can figure out. It’s not like a normal level of hard either. It’s really, really hard. The stupidest, easiest stuff is impossible for me to do. I just don’t get it. Everything is hard. Reading is hard, math is hard, temporal theory is ridiculously hard. I just want to get something right but no matter what I do I just fail at everything.”

“Hey, it’s okay. School is hard. I get it. It’s okay. You’re good.”

Drax shook his head. He pushed his bangs back, but they flipped back into their place just above his bloodshot eyes. “No, I’m not,” he argued. “It’s not. How the hell am I supposed to advance in this society if I can’t even pass basic classes?”

“You can,” said Jelpax. He placed a hand on Drax’s shoulder. “You have. You just need to take it one thing at a time. We can worry about everything else another time, okay? Right now, we just have to finish this.”

He nodded. “Sorry that I went off on a rant.”

“It’s okay.”

“Just, never mind, okay? Let’s get back to what we were working on, yeah?”

“All right.”

Jelpax grabbed his notebook and pulled it back in front of him. He took his time searching for his notes to allow himself more time to think about what Drax had said. He had never seen him fall apart like that over schoolwork before, and it worried him. He knew that Drax was having a lot of trouble with temporal theory, but he hadn’t known about his struggles with their other classes.

He sighed and put the book down in front of Drax, then handed him a pencil. Jelpax wanted to ask him more questions, but he knew that it wasn’t the right time. Not yet.

//

“I can’t believe it,” said Drax, a grin breaking out on his face. “A seventy percent! Who would have thought? And it’s all thanks to you, Pax!”

Jelpax winced as if Drax was not trying to hug him but strangle him. He slipped out of Drax’s arms after he felt that the embrace had lasted for an adequate amount of time.

“Yes, it is,” he replied. “You’re welcome. I’m glad that you finally decided to stand up straight.”

“Well, after watching one of the Lord President’s speeches, I realized that it was a good idea. People take him really seriously.”

“Yeah. And it worked out well, eh? Your presentation was brilliant.”

“There was one thing I didn’t understand, though,” said Magnus. He hadn’t been a part of he conversation, exactly, but had come of class at the same time. “How come you kept using male pronouns? Everyone knows that you’re a woman.”

Drax’s face fell. “Dude. I’m not a woman.”

“Then what’s with that bracelet?” He reached out and flicked the brightly colored, stringy bracelet around Drax’s wrist.

“It was a gift.” He touched the accessory instinctively and spun it around his arm nervously.

Magnus rolled his eyes. “Whatever.”

“Guys, we’ve got to get to the meeting,” said Jelpax. He ignored the fact that Magnus and Drax were still glaring at each other. “Ushas will have another tantrum if we lose the classroom again.”

The three of them slipped back into Borusa’s classroom as soon as everyone was gone and closed the door behind them. It was only seconds later that Ushas arrived, but several more minutes passed before most of the rest of the members walked into the room.

When it was finally time for the meeting to begin, Mortimus was still not there, and Ushas was pacing around the room furiously.

“Where is he?” she demanded, both of her hands combing her hair frantically. “I called this meeting because we have things to talk about!”

“You know, he wasn’t in temporal theory today either,” said Drax. “He missed my presentation.”

Magnus shrugged. “I figured you guys had heard.”

“Heard what?”

“Mort is in the hospital wing. Apparently, he has to have pine needles extracted from pretty much everywhere on his body. We’re probably free of him for the next few weeks if I had to make an estimate.”

Ushas’s face went red. “You have got to be kidding me. How could he even—oh, the moron!” She groaned when realization kicked in, and she mentally slapped herself for leaving him unsupervised. “Okay, I need to go talk to him. You lot get your chatters out while I’m gone.”

Millennia was the first one to speak once Ushas had left the room. “How did your presentation go, Rallon?” she asked.

“You might as well call it Vansell’s presentation.” He sighed and rested his chin on the palm of his hand. “After he corrected basically everything I had done, there was hardly anything left that we could credit to me.”

“Truer words have never been spoken,” said Vansell. “Your version of the assignment was terrible. All I did was save both of our grades. You know, you should probably study more, because we are not going to be partners again. Ever.”

Rallon nodded. “Okay.”

“I’m sure that it wasn’t all wrong,” said Millennia reassuringly. “You must have gotten at least something right without his help.”

“I did, but I thought that I had gotten it wrong, so I changed the answer.”

“Oh.” Rallon nodded glumly, and Millennia decided to change the topic. She looked to the other side of the room. “What about you, Drax? How was yours?”

“I think I did okay,” he answered. “Jelpax says that I didn’t screw it up too badly.”

“I said that you did good,” Jelpax corrected him.

“Oh, come on. I know that’s not what you were thinking. You were just trying to be nice to me.”

Jelpax only shrugged in response.

Millennia looked over at Theta and Koschei, who were ignoring the rest of them and whispering about something in the back corner of the room. “Did you guys work out the whole cooking thing?” she asked.

“Yeah.” Theta nodded. “We got it. It involved a bit of a talk, but it’s all sorted out.”

“Yup,” Koschei agreed, an evil look in his eyes. “I even decided to keep trying to cook. I’ve got some cookies here if anyone wants to try one.”

Everyone stared at him in silence, and only moments later they all declined quietly as they left the room. As soon as they were gone, both Theta and Koschei roared with laughter.

“I told you that we could end the meeting early!”

Koschei gave Theta a high-five before taking a bite out of the delicious chocolate chip cookie that he most certainly did not make.

//

Ushas stormed down the corridor; her eyes fixed on the prize. How _dare_ Mortimus do that to her? After everything that she had told him, and all of the proof she supplied, he still didn’t listen to her. And then he had the nerve to screw up the entire Deca’s meeting by being in the hospital wing? The idiot! He could have at least come out for long enough to hear what she had to say. Having pine needles embedded in his skin couldn’t have possibly been _that_ uncomfortable. Surely, he could have kept them there for an extra hour or so.

She found herself growing more and more angry with each step that she took—every inch closer to the hospital wing. How stupid _was_ Mortimus? How could he possibly believe that he was invincible, or that he could fly? It was insane!

She pushed the door open to the hospital wing, then spoke with the nurse briefly to explain why she was there. The nurse let her into the room, then took her over to Mortimus, who was sitting up and scrolling through his phone. He gasped when he saw Ushas; his phone flying onto the floor as he dove beneath the covers.

“Mortimus!” Ushas shouted. She stomped over to him and started to poke his blanketed figure repeatedly. “Mortimus. Mortimus. Mortimus.”

He removed the blanket slowly, but only revealed his eyes. Even with so little of him showing, Ushas could tell that he was scared. She smirked.

“Ushas,” he said cautiously, as he raised his hands in defense, “whatever you think I did, I didn’t. I’m innocent. I swear. Please, _please_ don’t punish me.”

“I think,” she spat, “you jumped out of a tree and disrupted what was intended to be a very important meeting.”

“Meeting? No one told me about any meeting. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because you weren’t in your room to get the note, and I suppose Magnus didn’t pass on the message. I’ve never expected him to. That’s why you’re supposed to be in your room when I leave it there. You know what time they come.”

“I couldn’t have been!” Mortimus said. His voice was shaking. “I was in here! They were pulling the pine needles out of my arms!”

“Well, maybe next time you’ll listen to me before doing something so insanely stupid.” She flicked the side of his head. “Enjoy your stay, Mort.”

She said nothing to the nurse when she left the room. Ushas knew very well that nothing like this was going to ruin one of her meetings again. At least, it better not, or Mortimus was going to face the consequences.

Very serious consequences.


	13. Set Fire to the Library

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drax and Rallon recount what exactly happened leading up to the recent fire in the school library.

Drax and Rallon were sitting in the Headmaster’s office. The latter was staring down at his shaking hands in silence, but the former looked entirely unconcerned, as if nothing could possibly go wrong. Wrong _er_ , at least.

Rallon had yet to figure out how they hadn’t been expelled already. He was certain that they weren’t going to be in class the following day—there was no way to explain what had happened _without_ getting kicked out. He wasn’t even sure Drax could lie well enough. Not that time. He had done some terrible things in the past, but none of them compared to what he and Rallon had done earlier that week.

After all, it was the first time a student had set the library on fire.

“So,” said the Headmaster diplomatically, “would either of you boys care to explain what exactly happened? I’m sure that I don’t need to specify what I’m talking about.”

“You might.” Drax shrugged. Rallon couldn’t believe that he was being so casual. “I’ve done a lot of stupid things.”

“And yet you’ve managed to top them all.”

“Yeah, I don’t know about that.” He shook his head. “I mean, I did get Professor What’s-Her-Face to quit.”

“Drax, stop,” Rallon mumbled. “You’re not helping.”

“Right.”

Rallon really couldn’t have cared less about what happened to Drax, but he knew that since both of them were at fault, everything they said could and would be held against them. He didn’t want to risk getting expelled because of what dripped from his friend’s ignorant tongue.

“Now,” said the Headmaster, his tone filled with anger, “tell me what happened.”

Drax took a deep breath, ran a hand through his bangs, and put on his best smile. There were times when his notorious ability to stretch the truth came in handy.

“Well,” he began, “it all started when Theta got his foot stuck in the toaster.”

//

“I am a better cook than you,” said Theta bluntly. He straightened out his back, although it didn’t make him appear much taller. “I swear, everything you make is a pile of shit that they would only even touch in hell.”

Theta and Koschei had been arguing since the week prior to that, when Theta had most literally vomited after taking one bite of the meal that Koschei had prepared. He hadn’t done it to be rude—although his telling Koschei to “seriously fucking retire from cooking already” wasn’t the nicest—but Koschei was convinced that Theta said it just to make him feel bad, and he was not happy about it.

“Fine,” said Koschei. He nodded, but he seemed to be contemplating something rather than agreeing with Theta. “If you’re such a cook,” he went on, “then make something for me to eat and prove it.”

“I will.”

Of course, Theta wasn’t actually very good at cooking. His point was not that he was able to cook, per se, but that Koschei could not. It was just taken in the wrong way, which was why he decided to make something super easy. If it was simple, then he would have a much better chance of serving a successful meal.

So, he took a long time to think about what he was going to make, then finally decided that the fresh, hot meal that he was going to cook was one of his very favorite foods. Toast!

Now, you and I both know that calling toast a cooked meal is complete and total rubbish, but Theta is kind of a dumbass, so he didn’t think so. He went into that little kitchen in the dorms and pulled out the toaster and two slices of bread, then got out the butter and the knife as he waited for it to toast. Of course, Theta is a klutz, so he dropped his knife like, right away.

Like any sensible person, he reached down to pick it up, but because he had plugged the toaster in on the floor, the toast popped right up in an unbelievable stroke of bad luck, and it struck him directly in the eye.

He stumbled backwards, and his foot got caught on the cord to the toaster. The appliance flipped into the air and his foot landed square inside of it. He screamed out immediately, as it was still very hot despite no longer being plugged into the wall. Koschei was the first person to hear him and come running, but of course, he stopped to laugh for a few seconds before actually helping Theta.

“How did you get your foot stuck in the toaster?”

Theta shrugged casually, but his face was twisted with pain. “Accidents happen,” he mumbled.

That was when Magnus and I entered the room. We were not together for any particular reason, I might add, but we both just happened to hear the screaming and wanted to know what in the hell it was all about. As soon as we saw Theta’s foot in the toaster, the two of us burst into laughter.

“Oh, my god, don’t just stand there!” Theta cried. His voice was so squeaky that he sounded like a mouse, I recall. “Help me get my foot out!”

“Wait, I need to get a picture first,” I said. I pulled out my phone and framed the shot, as it was a moment that definitely needed to be remembered. Forever. Like, ever. Forever and ever plus a day.

I took the picture, then walked over to Theta and looked down at him, one hand on my non-existent hip and the other stroking my chin thoughtfully. I wasn’t exactly sure what to do about it, so I decided that since there were two other people in the room aside from me and Theta, I would just stand there and wait around for them to fix it. After all, Koschei and Magnus are both cleverer than me anyway.

Eventually, we had to get a hammer and smash the toaster apart (which I gladly had the honors of doing), and luckily, Theta came out pretty much unharmed. He had a few bruises covering the entire top of his foot, sure, and it was a bit toasted, but other than that, he was fine.

Magnus and I escaped the room just before Theta and Magnus started arguing about whether or not making toast actually qualifies as cooking. Him and I went our separate ways once we were back in the corridor—since he hates me, of course—and that’s when I bumped into Rallon. I mean, not literally. I am very aware of my surroundings. We just coincidentally were both in the same hallway.

“Hey,” he said. He waved at me as well, but I think that it was just because I’m in the Deca, because he didn’t even smile. I don’t care much, though. It’s not like we’re close friends or anything.

“Hi,” I replied. I didn’t smile either, but only because he didn’t. I’m a perfectly pleasant person. “What’s up?”

“Nothing. Just homework.”

“Oh. Well, you want to do something else? I’ve got a new game, and—”

That was when Rallon cut me off. He had an evil grin on his face which stretched from ear to ear, and it was almost as if Satan himself was standing in front of me.

“I’ve got an idea of what we could do,” he said, in a low, graveling voice.

I was terrified of his idea right off the bat. Not many people know that Rallon can be so evil, but it’s true. It’s almost like he has a split personality—DPD, if you will. Sometimes he can be perfectly nice, but others…

That’s why I tried to run away when he said that. But alas! It was too late. He was already talking—

//

“…and that’s when he blackmailed me!” Drax finished.

It was obvious that the Headmaster wanted to say something, but he didn’t get a chance to before Rallon yanked his chair around to face Drax, his eyes wider than the archway into the school.

“What?” he gaped. “I did _not_ blackmail you!”

“Yes, you did.” Drax rolled his eyes. “I wouldn’t lie about it.”

“Of course, you would! You lie all the time.”

“Well, would you like to tell the story then, Rallon?” asked the Headmaster.

He glared at Drax, then nodded to the older man. “Absolutely, sir. Gladly.”

//

So, I had just come back from a late-night studying session with Millennia when I ran into Drax in the corridor. He looked as if he had just seen or done something very strange or amusing, and I was not interested in hearing about it. However, it’s in my nature to be polite, so I waved to him and said hello.

“Hey, Drax,” I said. “What’s up?”

He smiled mischievously, and I knew right away that I had made a mistake. “Rallon!” he exclaimed. “Just the man that I wanted to see.”

“What?” My face twisted up in confusion. See, Drax and I might both be members of the Deca, but we’re really not close friends in any way shape or form. “Why?”

“Look at you.” He wrapped an arm around my shoulder, and I failed to escape from the uncomfortable grip. “You’re so tense. I think that it’s time you got some proper relaxation for once. Maybe release some emotion? Get some things off your chest? Anger, perhaps?”

“Anger?” I repeated, more than a little bit puzzled. “I’m not angry.”

“Sure, you’re not.” He sighed. “There’s no need to hide, Rallon. You’ve got it written all over you. You’re completely chuffed. You have got to let loose for once. Lucky for you, I’ve got an idea of how you can do that.”

I was worried about what he would say, but my curiosity took over. “How?”

“So, there’s this temporal theory test coming up.” He grinned, and an evil look appeared in his eyes. “Jelpax wants to help me study for it, but I really don’t want to. I thought that perhaps you would like to help me get rid of the problem?”

I took a step back from him. Any scheme involving Drax was something that I did not want to be involved in. “No,” I told him. “No way.”

“Oh, come on! I haven’t even told you the plan yet.”

“I can’t. We can’t. You’re insane.”

I turned around and walked in the other direction, and luckily for me, he didn’t follow. Unfortunately for me, he did end up finding me and chasing me down after mathematics class the following day. For some reason, he was completely set on me doing the deed instead of him or anyone else, and I couldn’t manage to shake him. In fact, he messaged me all day and I had to keep ignoring him. It was just way blown out of proportion.

“Please?” he begged, once he finally caught up to me. He ran in front of me and clasped his hands together. “Pretty please? Please, please, please?”

I said ‘no’ again. I wasn’t going to do anything crazy for him. No way. I was sure of it. However, I didn’t know just how convincing he was, and he managed to get to me at the Deca’s weekly meeting the following morning.

I tapped my fingers against the desk I was sitting at, trying hard to listen to what Magnus was saying. It seemed like it was important, but everything Magnus says seems important, so I wasn’t really listening too much. I was having a hell of a time focusing that day, and I hoped that I was being discreet about it, but when Magnus stopped talking and looked right at me, I knew that I hadn’t.

“Hey, Rallon!” he called. “You bothering to listen to me?”

“Yeah, sorry, Magnus,” I mumbled. I sank down lower in my seat. “Just having an off day.”

“I don’t care if you’re on or off, dude. I’m asking if you’re listening to what I’m saying, because you’re going to be confused as hell tomorrow if you aren’t listening to me today. Get your focus on or get out.”

I did as I was told and watched intently the rest of the meeting, even though I wasn’t completely processing everything that Magnus said. I could tell that some other people, like Mortimus, knew that I wasn’t listening, but Magnus didn’t call on me again, so I got away with it.

After class I tried to make my quick escape, but it was cut short when Drax swooped in front of me, stopping me from leaving the room. He waited until everyone else had left before he spoke.

“Long day?” he asked. It seemed like an innocent question, but I heard the undertone. He was planning something. Again. Drax went on. “You seem tense.”

“Getting yelled at by Magnus usually does that to you,” I said. I tried to push past him but couldn’t get by. “Are you going to move?”

“No.” Drax smirked and shook his head. “Not until you listen to what I have to say.”

“All right, fine. I’ll listen to you but make it quick. Are you planning to steal something or blow it up?”

He took a moment to think about it. “Sort of the second one.”

“What do you mean ‘sort of the second one’?” I asked. My eyes went wide. “I’m not going to be involved in the destruction of anything.”

“Wait, wait, wait! Listen. Remember what I said before? You’re really tense and stressed out. You need to relax, okay? So, we’re going to do something fun to get onto your wild side.”

“I don’t have a wild side!”

“And that my friend, is exactly the problem.” Drax smiled, but I didn’t return the gesture. “Everyone should have a wild side. You don’t have one, and that is a terrible, horrible mistake on your part. So come with me, help me burn the library down, and then—”

“Burn the library down?!”

“Well, yeah.”

“No way.”

“But—”

“No.”

“Come on, Rallon.”

“No.”

Drax sighed. “Please? I have homework that I really, really don’t want to do and a test that I really, really don’t want to study for, and if you just burn down that one part of the library, then I’ll be able to get out of it. It’s not even going to be the whole library, just part of it. Please? I promise that you won’t get in trouble.”

“Fine.” I nodded. I wasn’t sure if I was actually going to do it, but I knew that agreeing would get Drax to go away. “I’ll do it.”

“Cool. Just don’t forget that I’m not really going to help you. It’s way too suspicious to have two of us in there. Also, if you get caught, I’m not taking any of the blame. Thanks, mate!”

Drax clapped me on the back and I jumped as he walked away. I shook my head and followed him into the corridor. I knew that I wasn’t going to get out of it easy, and it wasn’t going to end well.

//

“Wait, no, I—”

“…and that’s basically how it all went down…”

“I did not do that!”

“…so, as you can see, I’m not at fault for the idea or the situation at all, really. I was basically forced…”

“Bull _shit_ you were.”

“…because of that, I really don’t think that I…”

Drax slammed his fist down onto the table to cut off Rallon’s speech. He stopped talking abruptly but didn’t bother to even look at his friend. Rallon stared straight in front of him, at the pictures behind the Headmaster’s desk, his lips forming a tight line. He crossed his arms, pretending that he wasn’t startled by the sound that Drax had made.

“Headmaster,” said Drax diplomatically, “I believe that he’s making things up. I understand why he would want to keep himself out of trouble, but the fact is: I was there, I know what happened, and I have no reason to lie. It’s not as if this is the first time I’ve gotten in trouble.”

“That’s true, but…” The Headmaster’s voice trailed off as his tone was overtaken by laughter. “I simply do not believe that one of my best students would tell one of my worst students to do something so terrible.”

“I was surprised too,” he replied quickly. Rallon couldn’t help but roll his eyes at the pathetic lie. “The things people will do to get out of homework, am I right?”

“You mean the things _you_ do to get out of homework,” said Rallon. “Why can’t you just suck it up and do your work for once, Drax?”

Drax snorted. “Because I’m not ridiculously obsessed with it like you are? God, Rallon, if you knew anything about what I’m going through—”

“Please, boys.” The Headmaster cut him off. He sighed deeply. “Can we stay on topic here?”

“All right.” Drax nodded and leaned forwards in his seat. “So, back to the story. After we agreed to do this thing, however you want to believe that it happened, the facts were these…”

//

“So, you’re going to want to use matches, not a lighter or a flamethrower,” I explained. If I was going to be forced to assist with the evil task, I was going to make sure that it was taken care of in the most effective way possible. “If you use a lighter, then they’ll be able to find your fingerprints on it. If you use matches, however, then they’ll just burn away, worry-free. All they’ll find at the scene are some burnt ashes.”

“Okay.” Rallon nodded in that dumb way he always does. “Just know that whatever happens, you are an accomplice, all right? Even if I can’t credit you as the evil mastermind.”

I scoffed. “Duh.” I pulled the matches out of the bottom drawer of my dresser. Oh, yeah, we were in me and Jelpax’s room, by the way. “I mean, I am the one giving you the tools. What do you take me for, an idiot?” I locked the drawers shut—so that Jelpax can’t hide my contraband—and handed him the box of matches. “Don’t use too many,” I said. “I need those.”

“Why?” he asked. He took the box cautiously, almost as if he was somehow afraid of them.

“Do you really want to know?”

Rallon hesitated, then shook his head. I always knew that he was too chicken to get involved in my plans. “Nope,” he answered. “So, what do I do?”

“Just drop one or two of them on the temporal theory section. It’s not like it’s hard.” I rolled my eyes. “Have you been listening to me at all?”

“Whatever, Mr. Accomplice,” he said. He shook his head and pocketed the matches.

“And don’t call me that. I’m not your accomplice. I’m the guy in the chair. The one who will never get caught. Don’t think that I’m going to take the fall for this if someone sees you.”

//

“…and then you mumbled, ‘which they most definitely will’,” Rallon added.

Drax looked shocked. “I did not! I totally trusted you not to get caught.” He sighed, then shook his head. “No, sorry, I can’t even lie about it. I knew that you would do something stupid and, well, can you blame me? I mean, look where we are now. It’s not exactly my fault that we’re in here.”

“Yeah, it is,” he snapped. “This was _your_ idea.”

“Okay, fine. I guess that it was kind of my fault.” Even if the words were clearly insincere, it felt good for Rallon to finally hear Drax admit that something was his fault instead of denying it endlessly. “Then again,” he went on, “you didn’t have to listen to me, or follow through with my idea. So really, it’s all your fault.”

He sighed. That was the Drax that he knew. “The fault is both of ours,” said Rallon. “You came up with the idea and I carried it out. We both did our parts, so we need to just stop arguing about it, okay? It’s pointless.”

Drax nodded. “All right, but still, I think you have about seventy percent of the blame, while I only have like, forty.” Rallon didn’t bother correcting him but wondered how he managed to get so far off. “Because the person who goes along with the stupid plan is always stupider than the person who comes up with the plan.”

“What?”

“Well, I mean, you weren’t exactly any good at it, but you still did it. Even though it was a bit of a shit show.”

Rallon sighed and nodded slowly. It was true, after all. He hadn’t done a very good job of it at all. In fact, he almost didn’t even do the job in the first place. But he had finished it, hadn’t he? Even if he did almost chicken out.

“All right,” said the Headmaster, “enough with your petty arguing. This isn’t about who did this and who did that. I want to know what led you two to actually burning down the library.”

“Well, as I said, that was Rallon’s doing,” Drax pointed out. “So, perhaps he would like to do the talking on that bit?”

“I suppose so,” Rallon agreed. “Well, you should know, this is the part of the story where it’s less interesting and more indecisive. I might have agreed to the whole thing, but I certainly didn’t know whether or not I was actually going to carry out the plan…”

//

I adjusted my book bag, then made my way towards the library, trying to act as casual as I could. I went to the library all the time, so I wasn’t afraid of the scary librarian, as you might think, but the task that I was going there for. Every other time that I went I was going to get a book, or to have a quiet place to study. That time, however, I was there to burn down the entire temporal theory section of the books.

It scared me a little bit, of course. Maybe even a lot. But I knew that it was too late to chicken out at that point. If I did, Drax would _never_ let me live it down. Besides, it did seem like it would be a little bit fun. Maybe. As long as I didn’t, like, die, which I was honestly a bit worried about. But it was just supposed to be a little fire, so it’s not like it could be that hard. Right?

Well, no, because I spent forever standing outside of the library. At least ten minutes, by my count, and I knew that I was starting to look extremely suspicious. I could have sworn that I had gone into the room already, but it was not so, judging by the people who kept shoving past me, going in and out of the doorway. I wasn’t even sure who the people were who went by me, but I’m guessing they don’t like me much now.

I took several deep breaths to steady myself before I finally stepped into the library. I shuddered as soon as I did, but I regained my composure quickly and walked over to my normal studying area. I knew that if I was going to do it, I had to do it properly, and that meant not looking suspicious. The only way to avoid that was to do what I always do when I go to the library. So, I sat down, and I studied for an entire hour. I hadn’t intended to do it for that long, but I panicked, and I really needed any excuse to delay setting the fire.

I completed every single piece of homework that I could find in my bag, even one that was from and done months ago, just because it bought me more time. I let out a tiny gasp the first time I stumbled upon the matches that Drax had given me, but I recovered quickly and continued studying. I could have sworn that the librarian was onto me with the way that she was lurking around, but I tried to convince myself otherwise. I was too frightened to think of what might happen if I was caught.

Once I finally got over the majority of my expected freak-outs—around ten, I believe—I went over to the temporal theory section, a notebook in my hand. I was using it to cover my box of matches, so that no one could see them, and they would think that I was just looking for whatever book I had written down. As soon as I reached the first book on the shelf, I began to crack at the matches, but my hands were shaking too much to get them going. It took me several tries, but I managed to light the first book on fire. Unfortunately, the fire didn’t last long, and it wasn’t over yet.

It burnt out almost as soon as it had started, and I had to set another one. I got the second one to light far easier, but it still wouldn’t spread the way that I needed it to. It just burned on the edge of the book, instead of leaking onto the pages and the other books beside it. I began to sweat, and it wasn’t because of the heat. I was freaking out at that point; terrified of what might happen if I didn’t get it to work right fast enough and someone caught me doing it.

Luckily and unluckily for me, it spread extremely quickly after the third book caught fire. However, from there it went faster than light, and it spread far past where it was intended to go. Before I knew what was happening, the entire back half of the library was on fire. I stifled my scream and grabbed my backpack, then ran out of the library, and not a moment too soon.

I stood back by the window and watched as the other students and teachers ran out as fast as they could, then stood there frozen in silence as the rest of the library went up in flames.

//

“…I don’t even know how long I was standing there, but at a certain point I know that I looked like a bloody statue.” Rallon sighed deeply, hoping that he could find a way to explain it to the Headmaster without sounding completely insane.

“Yeah, well you were curled up into a little ball when I walked up to you,” said Drax. He leaned back in his seat, and the Headmaster swatted at his feet when he put them up on the desk. “You looked like a proper baby.”

“Whatever.”

“You know, I actually didn’t even know that it happened. I just happened to walk by a bit later while the fire guys were finishing putting it out. I still think that it’s a bit weird that I hadn’t heard about it sooner, but I guess that Prydonians don’t like to gossip all that much. It’s odd, isn’t it? We’re like, the only people in the galaxy who don’t.”

“Just get on with the story, Draxin,” said the Headmaster. He hadn’t seemed to mind their long recounts before, but it was clearly starting to get on his nerves. “We haven’t got all day.”

“All right.” He rolled his eyes. “Well, I can’t recall exactly what happened after that, but I do know someone who does. Hold on.” Drax pulled out his phone and pressed a few buttons, then held it up to his ear. “Hey, it’s me. Yeah, could you come in here for a moment? The Headmaster needs to see you.”

//

“Oh, shit.”

Rallon took a deep breath in an attempt to steady himself. It was nothing short of a complete disaster, and even the ball he was curled into couldn’t stop him from shaking. He could hardly even stand to look at Drax, which was why he didn’t, even though it was his fault, wasn’t it? He should never have agreed to do something so unbelievably stupid. Even if he thought it was kind of Drax’s fault for coming up with the idea, he knew that the truth was that it was his fault, and if he didn’t, the realization would dawn on him later. Rallon isn’t stupid enough to think otherwise. Probably.

“That’s what I was just thinking too,” Rallon mumbled. He was slightly muffled by his knees.

“Then why didn’t you say it?” asked Drax, starting a fight for no reason like he always does. Yes, you do. Shut up.

“Because I’m too young to use profanity like that.”

“Oh, grow a pair. It doesn’t matter. No one else is even here.”

“Shut up, Drax,” said Rallon, finally attempting to grow a pair. “We’ve got a bigger problem to worry about right now.”

Drax resisted the joke I’m sure he wanted to make and instead focused on the task at hand. “What’s that?” He made a face. “Oh, yeah, right.”

Rallon ran a hand down his face and stood up to look at the library. Or, what used to be the library. At that point it was more a pile of ash than anything else, but he thought that it might still have a few pieces of paper in it. Probably. Most likely. Hopefully. He groaned, wishing that he had never allowed Drax to talk him into the task.

“You are never talking me into anything like this again,” he said. “Ever.”

“What?” Drax clearly didn’t understand what he had done wrong, and simply shrugged. “Not like it’s the end of the world. I mean, we can’t even do half of our homework anymore because the books aren’t here. You should be thrilled. You’ve done a very good thing.”

“No, _you’ve_ done a good thing! I mean, a bad thing. I mean—this is your fault!”

“How is this my fault?” Again, oblivious as always. “You’re the one who agreed to do it. Plus, you carried out the plan. I’m only here because I was coming to get an atlas for the homework that I actually _was_ going to do. That’s not going to happen now, of course, considering the situation, but…”

Rallon stopped listening at that point, when Drax went on his daily tangent. It was true, after all. It was his fault. There was nothing that he could do to resolve it at that point, so he had to just suck it up and figure out what to do about the situation that he had caused. He stared at the burnt doorway, attempting to do just that.

That’s when I got there, my books and bag in hand. Thank god I saved what I did, when I did, because I had some of the last books from that library. I’m still trying to figure out how the hell anyone is going to study now, since we haven’t got—right, not important. Sorry, sir. Back to the story.

“Pax!” Drax cried. He ran up to me and practically threw himself at me for a hug. “Thank Rassilon you’re here. Someone’s burned down the library!”

My jaw, which had dropped when I first saw the state of the library, returned to its normal place when I rolled my eyes and yanked out of his grip. “And it is definitely not Rallon here, who stinks like ash?”

“I was in the library when it burned down,” said Rallon, “I can’t deny that.”

“So, you’re basically admitting to being the one who started the fire, then?”

“No!”

Except, as we all know, he definitely was. Who else would have been in the room during the fire, yet managed to not get burned even a bit, or touched by the disgusting ashes? It’s the fine details that you need to look out for, and at that moment, Rallon was not doing a good job of disguising them.

“Sorry if this is a problem,” said Drax. He ran a hand through his shining hair and sighed dramatically before he went on. “I know that it’s probably a bit inconvenient for you.”

“Inconvenient?” I scoffed and shook my head. Drax might seem like he’s ridiculously thick, and he is. “No, it’s not inconvenient at all. Please, set fire to another library!”

“Damn, Pax, calm down. Can’t you see what’s happened here? It’s clearly not a good idea to do it again.” Rallon elbowed him. “Also, we didn’t do it,” he added quickly.

“Then why the hell did you just apologize for it?” I asked.

“You looked upset.” He shrugged innocently. “I thought it might help.”

“I’m not upset, I’m pissed!”

“Yeah, that is a way of being upset.”

Rallon nodded. “I hate to admit it, especially after all of this, but he is right.”

“Shut up,” I said. “You guys need to go tell the Headmaster what you did right now.” I gave them my sternest look. “If you don’t do it, then I will; and believe me, that is _not_ an empty threat.”

//

“No, sir, I swear, I’m not trying to be an ass-kisser. That’s actually what I said.”

Drax couldn’t help but laugh. The Headmaster seemed to be buying the majority of Jelpax’s story, but he made himself out to be such a hero that it came off as ridiculously dramatized, even if it was the truth (well, give or take a few details). Drax decided not to help him out by confirming the story. Jelpax lost that privilege when he agreed to testify against them.

“I promise you,” Jelpax went on. “I loved the library more than anyone else in this entire school, and I am still shocked about what they did. I think that they deserve a punishment of the worst kind. You might want to have them rebuild the library, perhaps?”

“And perhaps you should stop being a kiss-ass,” said Drax. He flicked his friend in the shoulder. “I wanted you to come here to plead our case, not rat us out! I can’t take any more detentions. I’ve already got them before and after classes; even on break days. There is literally no other time to give them to me!”

“Something can be arranged.” The Headmaster smiled in the way that he always did before giving out punishments. “There is always time for more detention.”

“Okay, I suppose you could extend it, but it seems aimless, doesn’t it? At that point it’s no longer a punishment, it’s just part of the daily routine. I mean, it’s basically just another class.”

“I could give you extra homework. Keep you up all night.”

Drax’s eyes went wide, and he shook his head frantically. “No, please. Anything but that! I can’t even do the homework I’ve got now, let alone adding on more. I think it would be child abuse to ask me to do that!”

“I have to do what I have to do.”

“Please?”

Rallon felt like time stopped while he considered his options. The last thing he wanted to do was save Drax from a punishment he deserved, after he got them into such a horrible situation, but he couldn’t help himself. After all, the punishment was going to affect him as well, and Jelpax had already suggested a brilliant way to pay them back.

He raised his hand lamely before he spoke instead of interrupting. That might have been how Drax did things, but he didn’t want to speak over the Headmaster and make him even madder—that certainly wouldn’t help their case.

“Sir, could we rebuild the library?” he asked, when the Headmaster nodded for him to speak. “It seems like a rather fitting punishment to me. It was about time the library got upgraded anyway.”

“On our own?” Drax gaped. “It’ll take decades!”

The Headmaster shrugged. “Unless you’ve got anyone else you’d like to nominate for the task. I know that those friends of yours are quite rebellious, and I’m sure they would just love to help you.”

Drax didn’t hesitate for a second. “Jelpax is the one who broke Professor Regletha’s back.”

“What the hell?” Jelpax cried. He nearly bolted up straight. His eyes were wide, and he looked ready to tackle Drax. “How could you accuse me of doing such a thing?”

“Oh, don’t deny it.” He leaned back in his seat casually. “I was there, Pax. She nearly regenerated because of you.” He looked over to the Headmaster and smirked. “Perhaps I should recount the story?”

“By all means,” said the Headmaster.

“Well, it all started with one bad grade, and everything went downhill from there…”

//

We were waiting in the queue to receive our grades when the whole thing started. I was right in front of Jelpax, so I got mine first—I failed, of course, no surprise there—and started to walk out of the room, but I stopped when I realized that Jelpax wasn’t following me. He had come to a stop right at the desk beside Professor Regletha, a stunned expression on his face.

“Wait,” he said. “I don’t understand how I got this grade, Professor.” He pointed down at his test. “I got everything right. I double- and triple-checked.”

“Don’t bother, Jelpax.” She looked tired, as if she had expected him to retaliate, but was not in the mood for it at all. “I know that you cheated.”

Jelpax’s jaw dropped to the floor. Literally. Like, in a cartoon. “Cheated?” he gaped. “You think that I cheated? Is studying considered a form of cheating these days? Because that’s all I did. I swear, everything on there is legit.”

“Then explain how you got the same answers as Anzor? Down to the essay questions and the fact that you both marked them the same way?”

“Anzor? The numb skull who was held back for three years? He cheated off of me! You know that I study, Professor. I always study. I would never even think of cheating!”

“Yeah.” After seeing what had happened, I walked back over to help Jelpax. I knew that he would never cheat. “Pax wouldn’t do that. I’m the cheater.”

“Excuse me?” She turned to face me and raised an eyebrow.

“Uh, nothing. I just said that Anzor is the cheater,” I lied.

“The thing is: Anzor has taken this test before,” said Professor Regletha. “I would expect him to know all of the correct answers, considering he has studied for it twice now. You, however, were the only other person in the entire class who got them all right.”

“He sits behind me!” Jelpax exclaimed. “I couldn’t cheat off of him if I wanted to! He could, however, cheat off of me easily. I swear, Professor, you’ve got the wrong guy.”

Professor Regletha shook her head. “Detention, Jelpax. For a month.”

Jelpax froze, and I had to take him by the shoulders and lead him out of the room. You could tell at that point that he was already angry and thirsty for revenge. He was practically ready to kill her right then and there! However, he waited about two days before he actually did anything. I know that he spent more time plotting it, though, because the attack was brutal.

//

“…you’re never going to believe this, but he—”

“You know,” said Jelpax, cutting off his story. “Maybe we shouldn’t go into detail on the next part of the story. It’s obvious that you’re not going to tell it honestly anyway, with the way you’re making it out to seem like I had all kinds of motives and stuff. I had no motives, no ill intentions, or any other schemes. Professor Regletha broke her back in an unfortunate turn of events caused by an accident that could have easily happened to any student that walked into her classroom that day.”

“But it wasn’t any student,” Drax pointed out, “it was you. And that makes you responsible for what happened, even if you did make that great cover-up after it happened so that it wouldn’t seem like it. I know that you hurt her on purpose, Pax, so stop lying about it.”

Jelpax looked ready to scream. “I didn’t do anything on purpose!” he snapped. “I accidentally did something, yeah, but there was no big, grand scheme or whatever.”

“Well then,” said the Headmaster, “would you like to tell me what actually happened that day?”

“I suppose I have to,” Jelpax answered. He sighed and leaned forwards in his seat. “Well, it was an odd day to begin with…”

//

I was rudely awakened that morning by the sound of someone pounding on the door to my bedroom. I’m not exaggerating by saying pounding either—this was no ordinary knocking. It woke me up faster than that time that Drax jumped on my bed all morning in primary school.

“Drax! Jelpax! Open up!” Sorry, did I say morning? It was the middle of the night when the pounding started. “Shit, shit, shit! Lemme in!”

Drax was clearly not going to open the door, so I had to take the unfortunate task of greeting our not-so-welcome visitor. I already knew who it was, because of his voice, and I did not want to see him. However, I had little choice when I opened the door, because Mortimus pushed right past me and shoved his way into our room.

“Mortimus, what are you doing?” I asked. I closed the door as soon as he was in so that I would not be blamed for his breach of curfew.

He ran into my closet and hid himself behind my hanging clothes. “Nothing,” he said. “I’m not hiding from anyone. I didn’t just accidentally push a girl down the stairs, and her and her roommate are not chasing me right now.”

“What?”

“Can you two be quiet? Some of us normal blokes are trying to sleep right now,” Drax mumbled. He wasn’t really awake, just not entirely asleep. He yanked a pillow over his head and hid beneath his blankets.

“I don’t know what to do, Jelpax. I’m freaking out right now.” Mortimus peeked out from behind my shirts. “What if she catches me? Or tells the Headmaster? Oh, my god, what if she exaggerates the story and makes me out to be some kind of attempted killer or something?”

“Then you should hope she’s not better at getting words out then you are,” I said. The insult seemed to go right over his head. “Mortimus, you need to get out of here. It’s way past curfew. Can’t you just go back to your room across the hallway?”

“No. Magnus locked the door and I forgot my keys and last time I came home late he almost murdered me. I don’t know what to do, Jel. I’m freaking out!”

I sighed. “You can crash on our floor, but I can’t help you come morning. This isn’t my problem.”

“Fine, okay. Deal.”

I went to bed, hoping that would be the end of the situation, but of course, nothing involving Mortimus is resolved that easily. Come morning, he refused to leave our bedroom. In fact, he locked himself in our restroom when I tried to make him leave because he was so frightened. He said that he was sure his date—the girl he pushed down the stairs—was waiting for him out there.

That slowed down my entire morning, and basically threw my entire schedule out of whack, which is the reason the whole back-breaking incident happened.

//

“Speaking of the back-breaking incident,” said the Headmaster, cutting off the next part of his story, “were you planning to get back to that any time soon?”

Jelpax’s face flushed red. “Oh, yes, of course. I was just giving a bit of background on the situation, which I realize now I probably went too far into detail with.” Drax could tell that he was lying about something, but he didn’t know what it was. “So, I suppose I should tell the bit about how the Professor actually broke her back now, eh?”

“Please,” Rallon groaned. “I want to get out of here, Jel.”

“Okay. So, as I said, I was a bit thrown off because of Mortimus, and—”

“Why don’t you let me take it from here?” said Drax. “As a witness, I’m sure I can recount it better.”

The Headmaster sighed. “Just someone tell me, please.”

“All right. So, what happened was…”

//

Jelpax was still angry about what had happened with his grade. The only reason he hadn’t done anything right away was because he’s too smart for that. He thinks strategically, which is why he opted for the more planned out… plan. Anyway, he knew that the janitor guys clean up the school once a month so that it doesn’t get too gross, and that it was the weekend that they were going to do that.

He made sure to get to Professor Regletha’s class early that day so he would be there before she was, or else his plan wouldn’t have worked. He’s a brilliant actor, so instead of just following through with his plan, he made a big show of strategically tripping over the sign in front of the classroom, so that Professor Regletha wouldn’t know that they had waxed the room before. Then, when she walked into the room, he grabbed her purse and pulled on it.

She slipped on the wax and did a full circle spin onto her back, and then landed on the corner of the sign, which Jelpax had cleverly neglected to move after he knocked it over.

Professor Regletha cried out in pain, and everyone ran over to help, aside from Jelpax and I. He looked evilly pleased, and I couldn’t help but stare at him in shock. How could he have done something so evil? My best friend that I trusted with my life had attempted _murder_.

//

“…and that was how she broke her back,” Drax finished. “It was terribly tragic, but as you can see—” he gestured to Jelpax, who wore a look of complete shock on his face “—Jelpax here has absolutely no regrets.”

“It was an accident!” he cried, his face flushed pink. “I would never have done anything like that on purpose. You described the situation completely wrong.”

“Good lord, Draxin,” said the Headmaster. He sighed and rubbed his temples. “Even I can tell that you’re lying right now. I understand that _you_ don’t want to get in big trouble, and you do want _him_ to get in big trouble, but you don’t want to make this worse by lying to me, do you?”

Drax shook his head. “No. Sorry, sir. The experience was just so traumatic that I guess I remembered it being a bit different than it actually was. I’m sure that Jelpax can recount it properly though, right? And no need to get cross with me when you do, Pax.”

“Okay.” Jelpax took a deep breath to prepare himself for the can of worms he was about to open. “Well, as I was going to say earlier, I was thrown off because of Mortimus that morning, and…”

//

I had forgotten that it was the beginning of the month, when the school janitors are required to do the deep cleaning of the school to make sure that everything stays at least adequately sanitary. I thought that the Academy did smell a bit funny, like chemicals, but I had missed so much sleep the night before that I was struggling to recall why it might be that way.

I barely made it through most of my classes that day, I was so tired from a lack of sleep and from Mortimus dragging me around the school all morning—the part of the story that you made me skip—and Professor Regletha was leading my last class of the day. I wasn’t paying attention at all when I walked into the room, as I was basically half-asleep, so I didn’t realize that they had waxed the floor that weekend. It was stupid, looking back, because there were signs to warn about the wax everywhere. It only took one of them to break her back.

I slipped on the wax and tripped on the sign in front of the doorway to her classroom right before she arrived, so there was no sign in the room when she walked in. She didn’t think that her room had been waxed—I know, because she started to make a comment about it—and so she walked far too quickly in her high heels and slid on the wax. She screamed and flailed, and it was as if the whole room moved in slow motion until she came crashing down to the ground.

Her back landed flat on the corner of the sign, and I heard a horrible, loud crack when she bounced onto the floor. Luckily I was already in my seat at the back of the room when it happened, so she didn’t know that I was the one who had knocked the sign down, but I knew that everyone else in the classroom knew, and I thought for sure they were going to tell on me.

They didn’t, of course, or I probably would have been in here ages ago to explain the situation to you. The thing is: I think they didn’t tell anyone because nobody actually knows who I am, which is kind of awkward, but it worked out well in the situation. I might be a nobody, but at least I’m not a somebody who broke a woman’s back. Or, I wasn’t.

//

“…and that’s what really happened,” Jelpax concluded.

At that point, they had been sitting in the Headmaster’s office for well over an hour, and Drax was growing increasingly restless. He hoped they would finally be able to leave after the man gave them their punishments, and that the punishments would be assigned sooner rather than later. He couldn’t stand being in that stuffy room for much longer.

“So, you admit to doing it, then?” said the Headmaster. He narrowed his eyes.

“Sort of?” Jelpax hesitated before speaking further, and Drax knew that he was making sure not to say anything too ridiculous. He was treading on dangerous waters. “I mean, yeah, I did knock over the sign, but it wasn’t intentional, and it really wasn’t my fault that she slipped. And, to be honest, you should really blame whatever imbecile left that sign right in the doorway. It was a really stupid place to put it.”

“But you did do it?”

“I guess so, yeah.”

“Okay.” The Headmaster nodded as he contemplated his decision. “You’re going to help them rebuild the library, Jelpax.”

Jelpax nearly leapt out of his seat, his eyes going wider than a cartoon character’s. “What?” he gaped. “I didn’t do anything!”

“Yes, you did. You broke a professor’s back, and you just admitted to it. Accident or not, it’s your fault that the sign wasn’t where it was supposed to be. It’s not my problem if you didn’t put it back.”

“But I—”

“Don’t argue with me unless you want this punishment to be more severe. Now the three of you need to get out of here. Your punishment starts in the morning. Go.”

Rallon practically bolted out of the room, but Drax stayed a moment longer to drag the shocked Jelpax to his feet. They left the room together and walked behind Rallon, who didn’t look back at them once. Jelpax didn’t blame him—he didn’t want to talk to Drax either.

//

And that is the story of why Jelpax, Drax, and Rallon spent six months rebuilding the Academy’s library, and why they all got jobs working there after school to earn money (which all went to pay for new books to replace the more expensive ones that the library needed). Jelpax didn’t mind the job so much, but Drax never stopped complaining about how much they had to get done.

“Ugh,” he moaned. He placed another book on one of the freshly built shelves. “My arms are cramping.”

“Mine too,” Rallon grumbled. “How much longer do we have to do this for today?”

“Those are the first books you even put on the shelves!” Jelpax snapped. “Keep working. We’ve still got three hours left until curfew, and Dertafe will not like it if we don’t use our time wisely.”

“Who?” asked Drax.

“The librarian!”

“Oh. Well, whatever.” He shrugged. “Who gives a damn about being wise?” He rolled his eyes. “All I care about is eating dinner, which we are coincidentally not doing right now.”

Rallon threw a paperback at Drax’s head, then watched as it bounced off him and landed on the floor. “We wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you,” he said.

“Ow!” Drax cried, as he rubbed the side of his head. “That hurt. And it is _not_ my fault. You’re at fault just as much as I am.”

“That’s complete crap and we all know it. You practically forced me to agree.”

Jelpax scoffed. “You agreed, you nitwit. I don’t mean to be on Drax’s side—no offense—but he’s right. You’re both very much at fault.”

“He’s at more fault than me,” said Drax. “He’s the one who actually burned down the library.”

“And yet you’re the one who ratted me out. I think that we can call it even. You’re tied for being at fault.”

“How much fault do you have?” asked Rallon. He picked up the book he had thrown at Drax and put it into its proper place.

“Like fifty percent for breaking Professor Regletha’s back, I suppose, but none for the library. I had nothing to do with this after all.”

“You are such a liar!” Drax spat.

“Who’s lying about what?”

All three of them stopped dead in their tracks when the fourth voice spoke. Jelpax sighed, tapped his foot impatiently, and pointed at his watch.

“Mortimus,” he said, “you’re half an hour late.”

I quickly apologized, and—oh, yes, I forgot. The part of the story I neglected to mention earlier; how I got involved.

//

“No. No, no, no. No way. I am not doing that. How do you even know that I did what you accused me of?”

The Headmaster rolled his eyes. He knew that talking to me was going to result in a fight in the first place, so he wasn’t surprised, but that didn’t make it any easier. I’m a pain in the ass to deal with.

“I have witnesses who came forward weeks ago, but they didn’t know your name,” he said. “And, your friends told me all about it when they were in here yesterday. That’s why your punishment is the same as theirs.”

“Shit! Please don’t make me do this.”

“It’s too late. I’ve already decided on it. Now go. They’re already in there starting to fix up the library. You’re late.”

I opened my mouth to argue, then decided against it. I groaned and grabbed my backpack off the ground. I trudged out of the room with it slung across my shoulder lazily. I moved with no urgency on the way there, I recall—the last thing I wanted to do was sweep up disgusting ashes and dust-off old bookcases. Despite my efforts to stay far away, however, I ended up exactly where I did not want to be; the library. Or rather, what was left of the library.

I had heard rumors that something had happened to it, but I hadn’t yet seen exactly what it was. My only uneducated guess would have been that the entire place spontaneously combusted—the idea that there would be a bomb inside just simply didn’t seem rational enough. However, as you know by this point, I found out later that it was not true, and both of my guesses were incorrect.

The three of them were doing exactly what I had expected when I walked in; sweeping up and hauling out piles and piles of what looked to be ash and burnt wood. It stank like smoke the moment I walked into the room, and I didn’t want the smell to get out into the hallway, so I closed the door.

Unfortunately, it was barely hanging on, so it fell right off the hinges as soon as it hit the frame and it came crashing down to the ground. That alerted Drax, Jelpax, and Rallon, and they all whipped their necks around to look at me. Clearly, they hadn’t been expecting company.

I waved lamely to them. They glared back. “Hi,” I said. “Looks like I’m stuck in here with you guys, now.”

“What?” Jelpax looked horrified. If I wasn’t so pissed off about having to rebuild the library, I probably would have laughed. “Why are you here? What?”

“Well, apparently I did something worthy of a really bad punishment,” I answered. I crossed my arms. “I’m sure that I don’t need to say which incident that was. So, which one of you was it that ratted me out?”

Of course, Jelpax raised his hand slowly. “That would be me,” he said. “Sorry about that. I never would have said a word about it if I knew that it would result in you being in here with us.”

I nodded. I believed him. Not because he would have spared me out of kindness, but because he hates me with such a passion that he never would have willingly kept me in the room with him. Especially not for the lengthy process that it was going to take to rebuild the library. At least we were going to get a lot closer, I thought. Maybe he would end up liking me a lot more by the end of it.

“Are you going to help or not?” asked Rallon. He walked over to me and handed me a small dustpan. “Get scooping. We’re supposed to have the studying corner entirely cleaned out before Borusa comes in here in an hour.”

I groaned. The task of repairing the library was not going to be a good one in anyway shape or form. I wasn’t even with anyone that I would consider to be a great friend—not that I really have many great friends. I mostly just have a lot of very mediocre friends, but that’s good enough for me. They’re all entertaining, at least.

I scooped and dusted for what felt like hours. The piles never seemed to go away, and the more I cleaned up, the more there seemed to be. It was almost like a bottomless pit—similar to my stomach, but not in the exact same way. I was dying to get out of there, or to find anything to entertain me. The dust was gross and boring, and I needed some kind of music or a story or _something_ to listen to. So, I thought about how I would explain this to a newbie someday, when they asked me what it’s like being in the Deca, and I came up with this long rant that you’re listening to right now instead of studying. More entertaining, right?

Well, then I had to figure out what happened before I actually got there. Rumors weren’t good enough to explain the story with. I needed something more. So, I put down my brush and dustpan, looked over at my mediocre friends, and popped the question.

“So, how exactly did this all happen?” I asked.

Drax was the one to sigh, shake his head, and turn to me, an unreadable expression on his face. He was silent for a moment before he blew the dust off his fingers, brushed a hand through his bangs, and opened his mouth to speak.

“Well,” he said, “it’s a long story, but as I recall, it went something like this…”


	14. Keep Away from Theta

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Koschei starts a "keep away from Theta" list following a traumatic incident. Vansell tries to replace the lights in Drax and Jelpax's room.

“Hey, guys, I just came over to give you your—what the hell?”

Opposite to the perfectly lit hallway, the inside of Drax and Jelpax’s dorm room was almost pitch black. Not a single lamp in the room was turned on, and the curtains were closed, preventing even most of the moonlight from entering the area. Vansell could hardly see a thing and chose to stay in the doorway out of fear of stepping on something.

“Just leave it on the nightstand,” said Jelpax, from somewhere on the right side of the room.

“Where is the nightstand?”

“Where it always is.” Vansell could practically feel Drax roll his eyes, even if he couldn’t see it happening. “It’s not like we’ve suddenly remodeled.”

“No,” he agreed, “but you might want to think about turning the lights on.”

“They are on.”

“No, they’re not.”

“Yes, they are,” Jelpax argued. “They’re just dead.”

“Okay, then you might want to think about replacing them.” Vansell stepped forward carefully, watching every step as he tried to get to their nightstand. “I can’t see a thing.”

“No. It takes too much time, and I can see perfectly well.”

“Are you shitting me?” he snorted. “It’s nearly pitch black in here.”

“There’s a bit of moonlight, and during the day you don’t even notice it.”

“Yeah,” Drax agreed. Vansell turned his head around, but he still couldn’t see his friend. “It’s perfectly fine and also none of your business, so just give us whatever it is you’ve got and get out.”

“Fine.”

Just as Vansell went to place it on the nightstand, Drax leapt in front of him. Vansell barely managed to keep himself from crying out in shock, while Jelpax burst out into laughter only seconds before Drax did.

“Oh, my god, your face!” Jelpax cried. “I didn’t know that you could be scared!”

“Yeah, yeah, very funny.” He regained his posture and crossed his arms against his chest. “Can you turn on the lights now?”

“That part wasn’t a joke,” said Drax. He took a step back and flopped onto his bed. “The lights really don’t work.”

“Then replace them. It’s really not that hard.”

“We’ll see about it.” He smiled and gestured for him to leave. “Now shoo.”

Vansell rolled his eyes, then tossed the bag at Drax and left the room. If they didn’t want him getting involved, then he wasn’t going to bother giving them any of his time. It just wasn’t worth it.

//

“Okay, I know that I suck at cooking, but you’re going to love this.”

“Is it edible?”

“It’s drinkable.” Koschei smiled as he turned around, revealing he two steaming red mugs in his hands. “Coffee.”

“Coffee?” Theta took the warm cup, then wrapped his fingers around it and sniffed the dark drink. He had been skeptical when Koschei wanted to go to the dormitory kitchen that morning, but it so far, it wasn’t so bad. In fact, the coffee smelled kind of good. He blew on the top cautiously, then took a sip. His eyes went wide.

It was good. It was _really_ good. He took another sip, and another, and soon enough, the bright red cup was empty. He held it out to Koschei.

“More.”

Koschei grinned and refilled the cup. Theta slurped it up as quickly as he could without burning himself and asked for a third cup. By the time he got his hands on it, he no longer cared about the heat and drank the whole mug as quickly as he could. Before he knew it, the entire coffee pot was empty, and Theta was practically bouncing off of the walls.

“More,” he said again. His hands were shaking badly, close to dropping the mug from his grip. Koschei shook his head. “More.”

“I—I think that’s enough,” he stuttered.

“No. More!”

“No. We’re out. There is no more.” He leaned back to distance himself from Theta, his eyes widening in distress. “You’re not going to get anymore!”

“Please?”

“No! Stop asking.”

Theta stood up from his seat and leapt over the table, then tackled Koschei on the other side and pinned him to the marble tile beneath them. “More!” he cried. “More!”

Koschei rolled over so that he was on top of Theta, then grabbed his arms, trying his best to keep the maniac still. For once, he was really happy that he was significantly stronger than Theta. “Calm down, Thete. You’re not going to get any more.”

He pouted. “But I want it!”

“Too bad. You can’t have it. We have to go to class in an hour and you need to be able to sit still during it.”

“I don’t want to sit still.”

“You have to.”

“Why?”

“It’s the rules.”

“I hate rules.”

Despite how great it had seemed at first, Koschei was starting to regret his decision to make coffee that morning. Theta wasn’t just being annoying; he was acting like an idiotic little kid. Koschei felt like he was back in primary school again, and he all he wanted was to escape.

“I’m not moving until I get more.” Theta smiled mischievously.

“Then I guess you’re not moving.”

He stood up and grabbed his backpack before leaving the room, unable to take another second of Theta’s insanity.

//

Drax covered his face when Professor Quendria started to hand out the results, finally ceasing the nervous snapping of his rubber band against his wrist. He knew that he failed. There was no doubt about it. He was absolutely terrible at art. He took the paper from his professor when she held it out, but only looked at it with one eye, terrified of seeing the results. His eyes snapped open fully as soon as he read the number.

He hadn’t just passed; he earned a perfect score.

Drax checked over the paper several times to make sure that it was actually his. Surely there was no way that it could be? He had never gotten such a high grade in that class before. He had never gotten such a high grade in _any_ class before.

As soon as Professor Quendria finished handing out the papers, Drax walked up to her desk and tossed his paper down onto the table.

“You might want to check your work, miss,” he said. “You’ve got the wrong grade on there.”

She took one look at the paper, then shook her head. “No, I meant to give you that.”

Drax made a face. “But I suck at art.”

“Not this time. Very well done, Draxin.”

He blinked, then stared at her for several seconds before he took his paper back and backed out of the room slowly; feeling so completely dumbfounded he wasn’t even sure what to do next.

//

“Seriously. I’m not even exaggerating. He was like a drunk five-year old. It was insane.”

Several members of the Deca were gathered in the library that afternoon, once classes had gotten out. It was far from their usual hang-out spot, but Koschei didn’t want Theta to find them before he managed to tell them what had happened; or rather, warned them about giving him coffee.

“Doesn’t Theta always act like a drunk five-year-old?” said Magnus. “How bad could it have possibly been?”

Koschei shook his head slowly. “You don’t even want to know. I mean, he actually tackled me, and then he was on top of me, trying to hold me down.”

“Theta on top of you?” Vansell mused. He tossed his book onto the table, suddenly interested in the conversation. “It’s funny, I always pictured it the other way around.”

“Really?” said Rallon. He turned to face Vansell. “I thought that Theta would be on top.”

“Are you kidding me? He’s the small, vulnerable one. Of course he would be on the bottom.”

“He’s not small or vulnerable in my mind.”

Koschei winced. He couldn’t believe that they were actually having that conversation, especially in front of him. It was agonizing, sarcastic or not.

“Actually,” he said, “it was both. I had to get on top of him to get him off of me.”

“Okay, okay.” Vansell waved a hand around. “Then which one of you was shirtless first?”

“Koschei,” Rallon answered quickly, an exaggerated look in his eyes. “His muscles ripped through his tank.”

Vansell snorted. Koschei did not.

“Shut up,” said Koschei. He hardly knew what to do with the images they were putting in his head. “Neither of us were shirtless! I told you, we were just drinking coffee and he went bonkers.”

“Bonkers for you.” Vansell raised an eyebrow suggestively.

“He did make the first move, right?” asked Rallon. He leaned forward in his seat.

“If by that you mean tackling me, then yes.”

Vansell shook his head. “Fine. You get one point, Rallon, but I’m certain that I know who—”

“Neither of us!” Koschei snapped. He rolled his eyes when a student at a nearby table shushed him. “Whatever you’re going to say, it was neither of us. I told you everything that happened already, so just stop making it out to be so…”

“So…?”

“…gay.”

“Honestly, Koschei,” said Magnus, glancing up from his phone, “if you’re telling the truth about what happened, then there is no way to tell that story _without_ sounding gay. They’re just making the story more amusing.”

“Was Theta acting like a drunk little kid not funny enough?”

Mortimus popped out of one of the rows of books and shook his head. “No,” he said. He placed a book onto a shelf, then grabbed another one and waved it around while he talked. “Magnus was right earlier. He always acts that way.”

“I’m glad you finally admit to me being right.”

“Well, no one is _always_ wrong.”

“True.” Magnus nodded. “Except for you.”

“Excuse me?”

Koschei tuned out the rest of their argument. He wasn’t interested, but he was glad that the conversation was no longer about him and Theta, and he hoped that no one would ever talk about that again. It was a mistake to tell the story; he should have just told them Theta had an allergy and been done with it.

Jelpax walked up to the table right after a silence washed over the group. He said nothing as he tossed his book bag down onto one of the couches and plopped into the seat beside it.

“Hello,” said Vansell, who was sitting beside him. “Have you switched out your light bulbs yet?”

“No.” Jelpax shook his head. “Come morning, I forgot about what happened last night. In fact, I wouldn’t have remembered that Drax scared you silly if you hadn’t said anything now.”

Vansell’s face went bright red. “You said that just so everyone would know.”

“Yes, yes I did.”

“You evil fucking mastermind.”

He smirked. “So, what brings you lot to the library?”

“We needed to talk where Theta would never find us,” said Koschei.

“Or where you thought he would never find you. You guys might never come in here, but he wanders in on his own all the time. Rallon, it’s time to start shelving.”

Rallon groaned and rose from his seat on the dark red carpet. “Yeah, Mortimus already got a head start.”

Mortimus suddenly stepped out from behind the books, his eyes wide. “Wait, I didn’t have to start shelving yet?”

“No.”

“Dammit! What a waste of time.”

“Yeah.” Rallon sighed and turned back to Jelpax. “Isn’t Drax coming?”

“I should hope so.”

“But you don’t know?”

Jelpax shook his head. “He wouldn’t talk to me earlier,” he said. “It seemed like he was in shock about something.”

“Any idea what?”

“ _Holy mother of Rassilon!_ ” he cried. He clapped a hand over his mouth as soon as he spoke, and before several people shushed him.

Koschei looked around to see what Jelpax was staring at, and his jaw dropped when he saw. Drax was standing near the group, holding a test sheet in his hand, held out to show them. In bright red, at the top of the page, it read, “100%”.

“You passed?” Jelpax gaped, keeping his voice lower. He snatched the paper from Drax. “What class is this for?” he asked, before inspecting the paper closely. Drax didn’t answer. “Art? Wow. No offense, Drax, but you’re terrible at art.”

He nodded. “I know.”

“What did you do?”

“Nothing! I swear. I even went up to Professor Quendria after class, but she said that she meant to give me that grade.”

Jelpax’s eyes were so wide that Koschei was afraid they might fall out of their sockets. “But—But—”

“No. No buts. Nothing. I passed. I actually passed something.”

“Wow.”

Everyone was staring at Drax by then. He had never gotten that high of a mark on anything as far as they knew. Jelpax turned his attention back to the paper and looked closely at the score on the top. He cleaned his glasses on his sleeve, then inspected it carefully. After nearly two minutes, he turned to face the group.

“It’s real,” he said.

Everyone, except for Magnus, gasped. He stood up and snatched the paper away from Jelpax. “Let me see that.” He looked it over, narrowing his eyes. Finally, he handed it back to Jelpax and shook his head. “It _is_ real.”

“Did you doubt me?” asked Jelpax.

“Well, when it comes to Drax, you do—”

“How are we going to celebrate?” Drax’s question came out of nowhere, and completely cut off Magnus. “I mean, we aren’t going to stay cooped up in here shelving books, are we?”

Jelpax sighed. “We have to. Otherwise they’ll take that grade right away from you.”

“They can’t do that.”

“They’re Prydonians. They’ll do whatever they want.”

“Dammit!” Drax snapped, as he leaned against a nearby bookshelf. “I finally do something right and my reward is being cooped up in here for three hours?”

“Well, you might have done something good today, but you didn’t when you burned down the library.”

“And you didn’t when you—uh, what are you in here for?”

Jelpax’s eyes darted around his group of friends. “Volunteer hours,” he said quickly, his eyes flickering back and forth between Drax and Rallon. “I’m in here for volunteer hours.”

“Not going to ask,” said Vansell.

“Yeah, probably best if we don’t,” Koschei agreed.

“Anyway,” said Jelpax, clapping his hands together, “we really ought to get these books shelved. They’re not going to fly up on their own.”

“Ugh. Why?” Drax groaned. “We could just stand here and waste time.”

“Because the librarian is giving us some seriously dirty looks,” said Rallon. “I don’t think she’s very pleased with our tardiness.”

“Hey, I was an hour early,” Mortimus snapped.

“Whatever. Let’s just go.”

Rallon, Drax, and Jelpax headed off to the back of the room, leaving Koschei with only Magnus, Vansell, and Mortimus, who was still floating around shelving books.

“Anyway,” said Koschei, “I never got to tell you what the point of my story was. After we finished fighting, I made this list.”

He held out a piece of paper to show to his friend. At the top it read, “Keep Away from Theta”. Koschei made several numbered slots on the page, but only the top one had something written beside it.

_#1: Coffee_

“Fantastic,” said Magnus sarcastically. “Maybe we should get those for everybody. Minus me, of course.”

Koschei just stared at him. If all of them had a list, Magnus’ would definitely be the longest.

//

Vansell had been ready to rip his hair straight out of his skull ever since Jelpax had opened his first book. It was absolutely ridiculous. Even in the daylight, Drax and Jelpax’s room was still too dim to appropriately study in, and it made the project insanely difficult to work on. Two minds were not better than one when one of them had no idea what was going on.

Jelpax seemed to be having no trouble reading and taking notes, but Vansell could hardly even see the letters on the page. They worked on the project all afternoon and into the evening; and as the suns started to set, the words on the page seemed to become increasingly faded. It was irritating as hell.

Vansell had talked to them about the lights since their last encounter, but Jelpax and Drax had still refused to replace them, claiming that it was not worth their time. They could supposedly see perfectly well, and if Vansell couldn’t, that wasn’t their problem. However, it seemed to him that it _was_ their problem, as him and Jelpax were trying to study together. Keyword: trying. When only half of the participating party could see what was going on, it was rather difficult to compare notes.

“Jelpax,” said Vansell, “would it kill you to replace the damn lights?”

“Quite possibly.” He nodded but didn’t turn away from the book. Vansell rolled his eyes.

“How? Are you a vampire or something?”

“No. It’s just that Drax gets really weird about that sort of stuff. I think that he likes it better without the lights.”

“Why? Why would he like it better without lights?”

Jelpax shrugged and pushed his glasses up his nose. “Beats me,” he said. “Why don’t you ask him?”

“Because he’s not here.” Vansell rolled his eyes. People really overestimated Jelpax’s intelligence in his opinion. Or at least, his situational awareness.

“Really?” He looked around the room. “Huh. Where do you think he’s at?”

“I don’t know. Do I look like I care?”

“No. Not at all. In fact, you look rather cross. Did I do something wrong?”

“How about you replace the lights and I’ll get back to you once you’ve finished?”

“Seems pointless,” said Jelpax.

Vansell took a deep breath. “It won’t be. Not once you can see what you’re doing.”

“I can already see what I’m doing. I have glasses, I’m not blind.”

“I meant because of the lights, you moron.”

“What do you mean? The lights in here don’t work.”

“That’s my point!”

“Oh. You know, you should really explain the whole thing when you’re speaking. You don’t make any sense when you start halfway through.”

“I didn’t start halfway through,” Vansell snapped through his teeth. “I was referring to what we had been talking about earlier.”

“Right. What was that again?”

“Oh, my god. You are unbelievable.”

Vansell packed up his stuff quickly, then stood up and tossed his bag over his shoulder. He shook his head the entire way out of the room and took only one last look at his friend before he slammed the door behind him.

What he didn’t see was that Jelpax grinned as soon as he was gone. Finally, he was alone in a quiet, peaceful, perfect-for-studying silence.

//

Meanwhile, his roommate was not relaxing in such a perfect silence. He was sitting in an uncomfortable chair, being yelled at by none other than the Headmaster himself. Drax still wasn’t exactly sure why he had been called in there, as the Headmaster had simply gone off on a tangent as soon as he sat down and failed to explain the situation.

“Sir?” said Drax. He raised his hand slowly. “Sir? Can I ask a question?”

The Headmaster stopped pacing and sat down in his chair, smoothing out his robes on his way down. “Of course. Ask.”

“What the hell am I in here for?”

“Don’t take that tone with me, Draxin. You know very well what you’re in here for.”

Drax shook his head. For once, he wasn’t even lying. “No, I haven’t. Not a clue.”

“I heard reports from several students that you cheated again.” He sighed. “I thought that you had given up the petty act, but it’s clear that you’ve stooped back to the level of a time tot.”

“What? I believe you’re mistaken, sir. I actually didn’t cheat for that grade. I was also really surprised when I got it, but I checked with the professor and everything. She said that there was no mistake. Ask her if you don’t believe me. I know all of my friends did.”

“All right then.” The Headmaster picked up the landline on his desk and pressed one of the numbers on speed dial. Drax watched and tapped his fingers against the Headmaster’s desk in anticipation. He didn’t mind getting in trouble for things that he did do, but he despised being punished for things he had nothing to do with.

The phone rang several times before it was answered. Drax attempted to lean in closer, to help him hear the other side of the conversation, but the Headmaster quickly shooed him back into his seat.

“Hello? Yes, this is the Headmaster. Uh huh. This is about Draxin’s grade. Is it true that he got such a high mark?” Drax dropped his head into his hands. “What? You mean, for real? But he’s terrible at that class! Well, okay then. All right. Thank you for your time.”

He hung up the phone and turned his attention back to Drax, who lifted his head, a smug smirk on his lips.

“Permission to say, ‘I told you so’?”

“Permission denied. You’re free to go.”

“Thanks, Headmaster!” He stood up and swung his bag over his shoulder, then strode out of the room as slow as possible to taunt the confused old man.

//

“Hey, Kos.”

Koschei shifted away from his friend when he sat down on the bed and peered over his shoulder. He never understood why exactly Theta thought that it was okay to just burst in and watch whatever he was doing, but he had never asked him not to, so technically he wasn’t doing anything wrong.

“Can I have some more of that coffee stuff?” asked Theta. He reached over and closed the book that Koschei was reading.

He didn’t protest against his book being closed but shook his head. “No,” he answered. “No way in hell am I going to give you any more of that stuff.”

“Why?”

“Because you went completely mad last time I let you have some, that’s why.”

“What do you mean? I just drank it and then we went to class or breakfast or wherever it was that we went after that.”

“What? No, you can’t possibly be claiming that you don’t remember. You know exactly what I’m talking about, you nutter.”

“No, I don’t.” Theta ran a hand through his dusty blond hair and leaned back onto Koschei’s pillows. “I can’t remember anything out of the ordinary happening afterward. I swear. I just told you what we did and if you can’t admit it’s true then that’s your problem, not mine.”

“I hate that you’re being so casual about this,” said Koschei. “You’re seriously going to pretend that you didn’t tackle me? I would have sued you for assault if I wasn’t your best friend.”

“Assault? All I did was drink the coffee!”

Koschei froze. The tone Theta used was one that he recognized all too well. It was the one he only used when Borusa was talking about something that he didn’t understand.

“Oh, my god. You really don’t remember any of it, do you?”

Theta shook his head. “Nope. Not a bit. I think that you’re just making stuff up, Kos, and honestly, it’s not that funny.”

“Un-fucking-believable.”

“What? I don’t get it.”

“You almost killed me, and you don’t even remember it! How does that even happen?”

He scratched the side of his head. “Maybe it’s because it never happened in the first place? You might want to see the nurse, Kos. I think you’ve been hallucinating.”

“I’m not hallucinating,” said Koschei, his voice flat, “and I already did see the nurse. I was worried you gave me a concussion. Look, you know what you did, Thete. Why can’t you just admit it already?”

“Because it never happened,” Theta answered, dragging his words out as if he was speaking to a child. “I’m not going to admit to doing something that never even happened.”

He took a deep breath. “Admit it, you moron.”

“No. I told you, Kos. I’m not going to admit to something that I didn’t do!”

“Oh, my god. You are unbelievable.”

He nodded. “Can we just forget about this and go do something else? Something that’s real, maybe? I would prefer that you don’t make up stories about me anymore.”

“It happened!” Koschei snapped. “But yeah, let’s go do something else. I really don’t feel like arguing right now.”

Theta smiled and headed towards the door. “I bet some coffee would wake you up,” he suggested.

“No. Never again. Never.”

//

“As a congratulations on passing your last test, I’ve gotten you a present.”

Jelpax raised an eyebrow. “Is it going to blow me up?” he asked.

“No.” Vansell’s face twisted in confusion. “Why the hell would it blow you up?”

“I don’t know. It’s just that I always pass my tests and you’ve never given me anything before. I’m afraid of what’s in there.” He pushed back his curly red hair and placed his pencil behind his ear before he took the present from Vansell, and promptly weighed it in his hands. “It’s not too heavy, but it could easily be something that’ll jump out at me. Is it some kind of animal?”

“No! What’s wrong with you? It’s just a gift. Open it.”

Skeptically, Jelpax opened the box in his hands, then looked back up at Vansell, a blank expression on his face. “Light bulbs? Really?” He placed the box down on his desk. “Why does it bother you so much that the lights don’t work? It’s not like you’re ever even in here. We finished our project.”

“I don’t want you to lose your vision trying to read in the dark.”

He reached up and adjusted his glasses. “Vansell, I have twenty-eighty vision. It’s not going to get much worse.”

“Yeah, and why do you think that is?”

“I don’t know, considering my vision has been this way since before I had learned how to read.”

“Would you stop screwing up my points?” Vansell snapped.

“Of course. Just stop making points that I can easily disprove.”

He glared at Jelpax. “Fine. How about we just say that I don’t need a reason to care about whether or not your lights work?”

“All right.” He nodded. “I’ll just come up with some reason for myself to believe so that I won’t be wondering all the time. Hm. Perhaps you like to sneak in here when we’re gone to get away from Rallon. Or, maybe you have a crush on me or Drax and you’re concerned for his or my wellbeing. Or—”

“Shut up. God, you are intolerable!”

“Well, yeah. That’s why I usually only spend time around Drax.”

Vansell took a deep breath in through his nose and clenched his teeth. “Just let me fix the lights. I’m doing you a favor.  I am offering to buy and replace your lights, free of charge. Jelpax, this is a steal!”

“I know, but I’m going to have to reject your offer, as much of a steal it may be.”

He rolled his eyes. At that point, he had no idea what he could possibly do to change Jelpax’s mind, despite the fact that it didn’t seem like something he should care about. There had to be something about the situation Vansell didn’t know. _Something_ he was missing.

Then he remembered what Jelpax said to him and realization hit him like a ton of bricks.

“Oh,” he said. “It’s Drax, right?”

“What?”

“Is it just you who prefers the pitch black or is it Drax too?” he asked. The tips of his lips curled into a grin when Jelpax hesitated. He hit the jackpot.

Jelpax rubbed the back of his neck, and his eyes wandered away from Vansell, as if he was attempting to concoct a way to explain the situation. After a few seconds, he spoke.

“Honestly,” he began, “I couldn’t care less about whether or not the lights work.” He removed the pencil from behind his ear and tapped it against his leg. A short silence passed before he looked up to Vansell, a deadly serious expression appearing in his eyes.

“The reason the lights don’t work is because they died a few years back. I told Drax to replace them, and he didn’t.” Jelpax’s voice was almost dark, in a tone Vansell rarely heard him use. “I waited a bit before I approached him about it and I’ll spare you the details, but basically he told me that he’s not going to replace them. He asked me not to either and I didn’t care enough to bother arguing so I agreed and let it go.”

He paused and resumed tapping the pencil on his leg. “Before you ask,” he added, “the answer is no. I don’t know why Drax doesn’t want lights in here. The thing is, he was _very_ adamant about not having them and I agreed, so this is just how things are going to be. And, before you even think about it, don’t ask Drax. He gets _really_ weird about these things. Now, I have things to do so if you’re done pestering me, I need to get along with my work.”

Vansell nodded. “All right.”

He didn’t bother to press on the situation anymore. He knew that he would have to talk to someone else if he wanted to fix the lack of lighting, and that was exactly what he was going to do.

//

“ _Meow. Meow. Meow._ ”

Koschei snapped his pencil in half the moment the cat resumed meowing. Ginger had barely stopped screaming since Theta put her onto his bed two hours earlier. It was an inconsistent noise at the beginning, but since then it hadn’t stopped for more than a few seconds at a time. Koschei was trying his hardest to study through it, but no matter what he did, he was unable to focus with the high-pitched squealing piercing his ears every ten seconds.

“ _Meow!_ ”

“For the love of god, Theta!” cried Koschei. “Make that thing stop screaming!”

“I’m not sure how,” said Theta. He stroked the cat’s head gently. “I think that she wants something. What do you want, Ginger?”

“She wants you to stop forcing her to live in this hellhole. She needs to run free like all the other cats on Gallifrey.”

“No, I don’t think that’s it.” He shook his head, then looked down at Ginger for a few seconds. Suddenly, he snapped his head up to look at Koschei. “I think that she’s asking for coffee.”

 Ginger meowed in response, prompting Koschei to roll his eyes. “She doesn’t want coffee,” he said. “Why the hell would a cat want coffee?”

“Because I told her how yummy and amazing and great it is, and she can’t stop thinking about how much she wants some too.”

“Theta, she doesn’t want coffee. That cat doesn’t understand one stupid word you’ve said to it. It just stares at you thinking about birds or food or whatever the hell cats think about.”

“Cats think about coffee. Who are you to say that they don’t?”

“You know what? I guarantee that if you were to somehow find out what that cat was thinking, it would be wondering what coffee even is, and why Short Idiot—that’s you—keeps obsessing over it.”

“All right then. Let’s go find a TARDIS and we can prove it.”

Koschei raised an eyebrow. “You’re not suggesting that we break into a TARDIS just to use its translation matrix?”

“That’s exactly what I’m suggesting.”

“That’s just stupid. Do you even know how much trouble we would be in if we got caught?”

“No, but it must be an awful lot if _you’re_ worried about it.”

“Are you implying that I’m a troublemaker?”

“Of course not.” He feigned offense. “I’m blatantly stating that you and I are _both_ troublemakers.”

“Oh, all right then.” Koschei sighed. “Anyway, we’re not going to break into a TARDIS just to find out what that cat is thinking or saying or whatever. The first time we break into a TARDIS better be for a far more interesting and exciting reason than that.”

“Agreed.” Before Koschei could celebrate his small victory, Theta spoke again. “So, I guess that I’ll just have to learn how to speak cat.”

“What?”

“If we can’t use a TARDIS translation matrix, then I’m going to have to figure out how to translate her meowing another way.” He looked down at Ginger and stroked her head. “Unless you can think of some other miraculous idea, then I have to learn how to speak cat.” Theta turned his eyes back up towards Koschei. “Anything?”

He shook his head. “No, I guess not.”

“Then I’ll be leaving now. I have to go to the library to see if they have any books on how to speak cat.”

He didn’t hesitate for a second before he stood up, placed Ginger back down onto the bed, and left the room.

Koschei’s attention instantly turned to the cat when the door shut. He prayed that it wouldn’t stop meowing again, so that he could finally get some studying down. He walked extremely slowly to make sure he didn’t wake her up on the way back to his desk, but it was futile.

“ _Meow!_ ”

“That’s it!” he cried. He pushed his chair back with such force that it nearly toppled over. “If Theta can learn how to talk to a cat, then I can learn telepathy!”

Koschei stormed out of the room as if Ginger was listening to him and made sure to slam the door behind him. It made no impact on the cat, of course, but Koschei felt as if he had made a point.

//

Vansell had been searching for quite a while when he finally stumbled upon Drax, who was sitting outside of Professor Quendria’s office with a book in his lap. He found it a bit odd to come across Drax reading but decided to let it go. It wasn’t important why or what he was reading, as long as he could get his attention.

“Drax.”

He looked up from his book, his deep green eyes staring up at Vansell. “What?” he asked.

“What are you doing?” It wasn’t what Vansell was there to ask, of course, but after thinking too hard about the peculiar situation, he needed an answer.

“Waiting for Professor Quendria to come back. She’ll be grading the second decade’s papers tonight and I need to talk to her when she arrives.”

“Still don’t believe you deserved that grade?”

“Not one bit.” He smiled.

Vansell nodded. “Anyway,” he said, “I wanted to talk to you about the lights in your room.”

Drax seemed disinterested. He turned his head away briefly and pushed his light brown bangs out of his eyes before turning back to his friend.

“Oh, yeah,” he mumbled. “Jelpax told me that you were stupidly interested in those. So, what’s the problem? Are they contagious? Your lights dead now too?”

“Of course not, stupid.” He rolled his eyes. “I want to fix your lights. Jelpax said that he doesn’t care about them, which I consider a green light, so I just need your approval now. Apparently, you’re the one who hates them?”

“I don’t hate them.”

Vansell knew that it was going to be hard to break him by his unbearably nonchalant attitude. “Jelpax told me that you get really weird about it. Is that true?”

“No.”

“Are you sure?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah.” Drax nodded. “Why would I get weird about light bulbs? They’re just light bulbs.”

“So, I can replace them?”

He hesitated, but his face did not waver one bit. “Yeah.” Something about his expression was out of the ordinary, but Vansell couldn’t place what it was. “Go ahead. I don’t care.”

“Are you sure about that?”

Drax swallowed hard. “Yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Because you look, like… off.”

“I look off?” It was suddenly obvious that his expression was annoyed; very annoyed. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“Jelpax was right.” He shook his head slowly. “You do get weird about this, don’t you?”

“No.”

“You’re not acting weird right now?”

“Nope.”

Drax closed his book and stood up, then turned to walk away. Vansell stepped in front of him.

“Where are you going?” he asked. “Don’t you have to talk to Professor Quendria?”

“It can wait.” Both his voice and his expression were dark, and though Vansell had been surprised by Jelpax’s harsh tone earlier in the day, it was nothing compared to the way that Drax spoke to him then. It was as if he was a completely different person; all of the moody bitterness and none of the hilarious prankster he knew.

“Move.”

Not sure of what else he could do but knowing that he didn’t want to be in the way of an angry Drax, Vansell stepped aside and allowed him to stomp off down the corridor.

//

Koschei was exhausted by the time he got back to his room. He was seconds from breaking curfew and had to rush to make it back in time. He made it, but needless to say, all he wanted to do upon entering his dorm was climb into bed and fall asleep.

“Hey, Koschei.” Something about Theta’s voice sounded off, but Koschei wasn’t sure what it was.

“Hi, Thete,” he said, as he flopped down onto his bed.

Theta sat down on his own bed and blinked repeatedly; his eyes opened wide. He was holding Ginger and petting her with one hand. “How was your evening?” he asked.

Despite how tired he was, Koschei managed to sit up and look at Theta. He stared at him for several seconds, taking in all of his abnormal features. His hazel eyes were opened wide, and his pupils were heavily dilated. His movements were slightly stiff, but he seemed almost relaxed at the same time.

“Are you on drugs?” asked Koschei.

Somehow, Theta’s eyes managed to open even wider when he shook his head. “What?” he said. “No!”

“Then why are you acting like you are?” Koschei’s jaw dropped while Theta fumbled around for a response. “Oh, my god. You had coffee!”

“Maybe.” Theta dragged out the word. “I told you it doesn’t do anything weird to me, though. See? Look. I’m acting super normal!”

“Dude, I just asked you if you were on drugs. If you’re acting like you’re on drugs, you’re not acting normal.”

“Are you sure? I’ve always been pretty weird.”

“While that may be true,” said Koschei, “you are weird in a childish kind of way, not a drug addict way. Now, don’t scream at me when I say this, but you are never having coffee again.”

“You said that last time.” Theta giggled and placed Ginger down on his bed. “Looks like you lied that time too.”

“I never lied. I tried so hard to keep you away from coffee. Where did you even get it from?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“Yes, you do. If you didn’t know where you got it from, then you wouldn’t have had it.”

“Yeah, I guess that you’re right. I totally know where I got it from.”

Koschei stood up and took a step closer to him, then straightened out his shoulders in an attempt to look more assertive. “Tell me where you got it from,” he demanded.

“Hm, let me think about it.” Theta made a face and looked up at the ceiling as if he was considering what to say. Koschei knew that he wasn’t. “No,” he said finally. A smile appeared on his face as he broke into a fit of giggles.

“Come on, Thete,” Koschei pleaded. Of all the stupid things that Theta had ever done, that had to take the cake for being both incredibly juvenile and ridiculously annoying. “Just tell me.”

“Okay. Come here.” He waved his hand to signal for Koschei to move in closer, and after hesitating for a moment, he did. As soon as Koschei was standing beside his bed, Theta leaned in close to his ear. “I stole it from the kitchen,” he whispered.

“What? You broke into the kitchen without me?”

He nodded glumly. “Sorry, Kos. It didn’t seem like something that you would want to do with me.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t know. It’s just that you’ve been bashing coffee so much. Even though you’re the one who gave it to me in the first place, I kind of get the feeling that you don’t like it, so I didn’t think that you would want to go on a quest to steal some.”

“Oh, come on, Thete.” Koschei rolled his eyes. “You know it’s not about the prize, it’s about the—never mind. You’ve gotten me completely sidetracked. The point is that you can’t be drinking all of that coffee! Now, I know that you hid it somewhere in here, so I need you to show it to me.”

“No.”

“Theta—”

“Nope.”

Koschei took a deep breath and cracked his knuckles. “Show me where the stash is, Thete, or I’m going to go through every single thing that you own.”

Theta’s eyes went wide. “All of it?”

“All of it.”

“Even my sock drawer?”

“ _All of it_.”

“Well, then, ugh. Okay,” he grumbled. He stood up but stopped in front of Koschei. “Just don’t be surprised when I show you, because I hid it in a really, really, super-secret place.”

Koschei nodded. “All right, then. I won’t be surprised.” He figured that he probably wouldn’t be anyway, as Theta was more than likely exaggerating the secrecy of the hiding spot. “Can you just show me now?”

“Okay.” Theta turned around and reached down, then grabbed his pillow. He seemed to have a surprising amount of difficulty handling the object, as if it weighed far more than it should have. With much struggle, Theta flipped the pillow over so that the hole was on the bottom and allowed several hundred coffee packets to spill out onto their floor.

“Oh, my god. How much did you take?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. I only had, like, a cup or two.”

“No, idiot, how much did you steal from the kitchen?”

“Um, I don’t really know. Like, three crates or something? As many as I could drag with me on my way back from the library.”

“Shit.” Koschei sighed. “Now I have to take those back.”

“Why do you have to take them back? I’m the one who stole them.”

“Because you’re drunk on coffee and even if I take you with me, then I’m still going to have to be there to make sure that you actually do it.”

“Ah, okay. Makes sense.”

Koschei looked down at the pile of coffee packets beside his feet and groaned. “Grab a pillowcase. Or two,” he added. “We have to lug all of these back to the kitchens.”

“What if we get caught?” asked Theta fearfully.

“We’re not going to get caught, Thete. We never get caught.”

“We always get caught!”

“Well, we’ll just tell them the truth. That you stole it and I was the hero trying to bring it back.”

“Because that worked out so well for Jelpax, didn’t it?”

He raised an eyebrow. “What are you talking about?”

“You know,” said Theta, “how he went to get Drax in trouble and now he’s sharing the punishment for some reason?”

“Oh, right. I forgot about that.” Suddenly, it occurred to Koschei that Theta was speaking normally, and he had stopped twitching so much. “Hey, you’re not being crazy anymore!”

“Nope. I can if you want me to, though.” He reached over to the bedside table and grabbed the white mug from atop it, then took a sip of its contents. “Mm, this is some good stuff! You want some?”

“No.”

“Too bad!” Theta splashed the coffee onto Koschei’s white shirt, soaking it instantly upon impact.

Koschei took a deep breath. “Theta Sigma,” he fumed, “I am going to kill you.”

“Okay.”

//

Drax wasn’t paying attention to where he was going.

He narrowly escaped getting away from Vansell without letting him figure out anything that was directly related to the truth. Of course, Drax had become incredibly skilled at beating around the bush over the decades, considering all the things that he had to hide. Or rather, that he _wanted_ to hide.

It wasn’t like he actually _needed_ to keep anything a secret. He did it because he wanted to pretend that it wasn’t real; that none of it even existed. Drax liked being happy. He liked being the funny, outgoing one. That was who he wanted to be, even if it wasn’t really him at all.

“Drax?”

The sniveling voice derailed his train of thought. He hadn’t expected to run into anyone in the corridor, considering everyone was required to be back in their dorms in less than ten minutes.

“Curfew is in seven minutes,” said Runcible. “You’d best be getting back to your room now.”

“Mm hm. I’m going. Sorry.”

Runcible did not press him any further on the situation, likely because of his unusually speedy compliance. More often than not, Drax was one to put up a fight, which was why he was so often held back by his professors; or in that case, the hall monitor.

Despite what he said, Drax still didn’t pay attention to where he was walking. He figured that he would make it back to his dorm eventually. Curfew didn’t matter so much to him. He had broken it far too many times for it to affect him anymore. In fact, the punishment for breaking curfew was so light compared to the other ones that he had gotten that he gladly accepted it as a break from his other detentions.

Though his mind was far from thinking about where he was walking to, Drax still found himself at his dorm room half an hour later. That meant that he had broken curfew by a long shot, of course, and it did not go unnoticed.

“You’re late.”

“I know.” Drax didn’t look up but walked right over to his bed and flopped down onto it.

“It’s over half an hour past curfew,” Jelpax went on.

“I know.”

“If anyone saw you, you’re going to be in detention for months.”

“Pax, I know, okay? Just shut up. Fuck.”

“All right.” He was only allowed a few moments of silence before he felt Jelpax sit down beside him. “What’s up?”

“Nothing.” Drax rolled onto his side, facing away from his friend, and stared at the wall in front of him. “Leave me alone.”

“I’m guessing Vansell talked to you?”

“No.”

“Which means yes. What did he say?”

“Nothing.”

As per usual, Jelpax refused to budge. “What did he say?” he repeated.

“Nothing!”

“Drax, come on. I just want to help.”

He felt as if he lost control of his body when he pushed himself up and whipped around to look at Jelpax. He barely noticed his hair flying into his eyes as his bangs whipped around.

“Nothing!” he snapped. “He said nothing! All he did was ask me about the stupid lights. I swear to god, nothing else happened.”

Jelpax nodded and spent several seconds coming up with his question before he asked it. “Why did you get upset?” he asked.

“What?” It was the last question he had expected to be asked.

“About the lights. You never explained that.”

“Didn’t I?”

“No. Drax, why don’t you like the lights?”

Drax turned his gaze downward. His eyes landed on the rubber band around his left wrist, and he began to fiddle with it; twisting it around and snapping it repeatedly.

“I—I don’t— I mean, I— Pax, I don’t care about the lights, okay? They don’t bother me.”

Without a moment of hesitation, Jelpax reached behind him and grabbed a flashlight from off the the nightstand (most often used by him to read at night). He clicked the light on and pointed it just to the right of Drax’s head. In response, he immediately closed his eyes and turned away. Jelpax clicked the light off and he flipped back into place.

“That is the reaction of someone who is bothered by the lights.”

“No,” Drax snapped. “That is the reaction of someone whose eyes are adjusted to the darkness and doesn’t want a bright-ass light in their eyes.”

“Drax, come on. Just tell me. You know I won’t tell anyone else.”

“Yeah, I do, and it doesn’t make a difference. I’m not going to tell you.”

“Okay.” Jelpax sighed and wandered over to his bed, then sat down and laid back on the pillows.

“What do you mean, ‘okay’?”

“That’s fine,” he said. “You don’t have to tell me.”

Drax snorted. “After all of that, you don’t even want to know?”

“I do, but you just admitted that there is something to know, and that’s enough for one day. You can tell me some other time. I’ll get rid of Vansell.”

“Don’t bother.” He sighed. “Let him put the lights in.”

Jelpax sat up quickly, his eyes wide with eagerness. “Really?”

“Yeah.” Drax shrugged. “What’s the worst that could happen?”

//

“I, Theta Sigma, hereby swear that I will—”

Theta broke off suddenly and lowered his right hand down to his side. “Do I really have to do this, Kos?” he asked. “It’s kind of demeaning.”

“Yes, Thete. I already told you.” Koschei rolled his eyes, then crossed his arms and took a step closer to his friend. “If you don’t say the thing, you don’t get to keep the cat.”

“Really? God, Kos. I don’t understand why you always have to drag her into things. She’s just a cat; an absolutely innocent cat! She has nothing to do with my coffee problem at all, and yet, if I don’t do this, she’s the one who suffers. It’s ridiculous.”

“Just shut up and say the words.”

Theta sighed as he raised his hand back into the air so that it was level with his shoulder. “I, Theta Sigma, hereby swear that I will never consume another sip of coffee in my entire life. Not espresso, mocha, cappuccino, or anything else that falls under the umbrella of types of coffee. I will not drink it alone, I will not drink it with friends nor strangers, and I will not drink it behind Koschei’s back. I, for the rest of my life, will never drink coffee again. Ever. So help me Rassilon.”

As soon as he finished, Theta dropped his hand to his side and let out a deep sigh of relief. He felt like an absolute fool, but he was glad that all the madness was over. At least, it would have been, if Koschei hadn’t started laughing at him.

“All right, all right, that’s enough,” said Theta. “You’ve had your laugh. Can you just cut it out now?”

“I will, once I forget hearing you say all that!” He broke into another fit of laughter, then doubled over and clutched his stomach, his face turning a bright shade of red as he laughed.

“Fine. I’ll be back when you quit being a jackass.”

Koschei snorted. “All right, Theta,” he called after him. “I’ll see you in hell!”

//

Drax took a deep breath before knocking on the door. After over-thinking it, he had started to worry about what was going to happen once he approached his art professor about his grade. What if she took it away from him? Or worse, gave him perfect grades for the rest of the semester? People would accuse him of blackmailing her!

The door swung open only moments after he knocked, revealing the slightly plump professor. She smiled at him, and he returned the expression nervously.

“Hello, Draxin.”

“Hi.” He forced a smile. “Can I talk to you for a minute, Professor?”

“Of course,” she said. She moved to the side and gestured for him to enter the room. “Come on in.”

He adjusted his backpack on his shoulder and walked in, then sat down in the dark brown, leather chair across from her desk. He wasn’t sure exactly how to start the conversation, so he waited for her to speak first.

“What is it?” she asked, as she pushed a lock of short, dark hair behind her ear.

“I just wanted to follow up on that grade that you gave me the other day. You know, the really good one?” She nodded in response, and Drax wet his lips before continuing, his nerves taking over. “Well, I’ve been talking to some people, and they knocked some sense into me, and basically I really don’t think that I deserve that grade.”

“Why not?”

“Because I stink at art.” He ran a hand through his hair nervously. “Well, not all art. I mean, I’m not that bad at pencil drawing. In fact, I’m pretty good. It’s just that you gave me a perfect score based on my painting and the paper about my inspiration for the painting, and I suck at painting.”

“Who told you that?” She seemed genuinely interested to know, as if she actually cared about the wellbeing of her student. Of course, she most likely didn’t, and was just ashamed of having graded his work incorrectly.

“No one. I mean, a couple people might have said similar things to me in the past, but no one outright said that. At least, not recently. It’s really just my opinion on the matter. I don’t think that I’m very good at it, and I just really, really don’t think that I deserve that grade.”

“Are you the one who grades the papers, Draxin?”

He furrowed his brow as he attempted to make sense of the question. “No, Professor,” he said. “That’s you. You do that.”

“Yes, I do. So why do you feel the need to correct the grade that I have given you?”

“Because it’s not a fair grade.”

“The grade is unfairly slanted in your direction. How are you willing to challenge me on this?”

“Maybe I like having legitimate grades? I’m fu— uh, _very_ stupid, and I feel better acknowledging that and trying to get better than ignoring it and pretending I earned this.”

Professor Quendria sighed and leaned back in her chair. She took a deep breath before sliding forwards and resting her hands on the large desk. “Draxin, there is a reason that I gave you that grade, all right?”

“What?” he asked.

“I understand that maybe your painting wasn’t the most aesthetically pleasing, or most technically correct, but I saw _passion_ in your work. Some of your peers had very beautiful paintings, but none of them managed to convey their messages as well as you did. I understood your work in a way that I did not understand any other. That’s why I gave you that grade. Because even if you aren’t the most _technically_ accurate, you are absolutely one of the most creative, most brutally honest students that I have ever had the pleasure of teaching.”

Drax stared at her in shocked silence for several seconds after she finished. That was it? That was what she had given him the grade for? It made sense to him, yet at the same time, he didn’t understand it at all.

“I guess…” He sighed. He had to admit defeat. “I guess I am pretty creative.”

“Yes, you are. Now go out there and be proud of your grade, all right? You deserve it.”

He nodded. “Thank you, Professor.”

“It’s my pleasure.”

He found himself lost in thought on the way back to his dorm, just as he had been the previous day. The thing was, he was able to think about nice things after talking to her. He was creative, he was honest; everything that Professor Quendria had told him was true. Even if he couldn’t believe it all the time, he knew that it was there, and that was enough for him.

//

“You are never going to regret this.”

“You’ve said that and other things along those same lines about a thousand times now,” said Jelpax, his gaze not leaving his book. “Even if you don’t think so, I’m pretty sure that we both get the point. Right, Drax?”

Drax nodded. He picked up a screwdriver and directed it towards his half-finished invention. “We already agreed to let you put the lights in, so why can’t you just do it in silence? You won. The end. Leave us alone.”

“I mean, I didn’t totally win,” said Vansell, as he worked to screw in one of the light bulbs. “I still don’t know why you wouldn’t just let me do it in the first place.”

“And you’re not going to ask again.”

Vansell held a hand up in surrender. “All right, I won’t.” He stepped down from his stool, removed a light bulb from the box on the table, and climbed back up to put it into place. “I just want you to know that I highly doubt that whatever it is, is as bad as you’re making it out to be.”

Instead of coming up with a sarcastic comment, Drax chose not to respond, and kept his focus on the scattered, unfinished invention on his desk. His reaction—or lack thereof—annoyed Vansell, and he tried to keep himself from expressing it, but he couldn’t resist.

“Nothing to say on the matter?”

“Nope.” Drax didn’t look at him but reached into his desk drawer and pulled out a box of screws.

“Fine,” said Vansell. He stepped down from the stool. “Just know that I’m going to break you someday.”

“No, you won’t.”

“All right, I’ll leave it alone.” He looked over at Jelpax and winked, to which Jelpax simply rolled his eyes in response.

Despite his unwillingness to admit to it, it didn’t really matter that much to Vansell whether he learned the truth. After all, he got to replace the lights in their room, and that was all that he cared about. No matter what he said or who agreed with him; in his mind, Vansell had won.

//

“So basically, in case you missed the point of my story somehow, I was trying to tell you that you absolutely cannot let Theta have coffee. At all. Ever.”

Mortimus raised his hand and Koschei called on him. It was nice to be the one at the front of the room during the meeting. “Can I—?”

“No, Mort,” said Koschei. “Never. Not even one sip.”

“Fine, fine.”

“So, what happened when you took the coffee back?” asked Drax.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, you never said. You told us that you had to take it back after Theta stole it, but you didn’t say what happened when you did.”

“Oh, right.” Koschei nodded. “Well, we got caught and now we both have detention every night for the next year. It’s probably not the worst punishment we could have gotten, though. Well, then again, it probably was a bit worse than it should have been, since that dinner lady still has that grudge against us over the whole food fight thing.”

“That was Epsilon’s fault,” Ushas muttered. She clearly did not like being in one of the desk chairs while Koschei led the meeting.

“I know, but nobody believes us when we tell them that. Anyway, any more questions about Theta and the coffee situation?”

“Did you only call this meeting to tell us about this?” asked Magnus, as he tapped his fingers against the desk impatiently. “I mean, if you really just called this meeting so that you could tell us not to give Theta coffee, then I’ve wasted over half an hour of my life that you now owe me.”

“How am I ever going to pay you back in time?”

“I’m going to kill you exactly thirty-seven minutes before I die.”

“Fine,” said Koschei. “If you can somehow manage to make that happen, then I will pay you back.”

Magnus smirked. “It’s a deal then.”

He nodded, resisting the urge to roll his eyes. “All right, so anyway, as long as everyone is on the same page about never letting Theta have any coffee ever, then we can get on with the meeting. Anyone else have any news to share?”

Drax spoke up, not bothering to raise his hand, nor move from his seat near the back of the room. “I’m officially passing art class,” he announced.

“Really?”

“It’s true,” said Jelpax. “I’ve checked and double-checked the papers.” He glanced over at Drax. “Not that I needed to, of course. I mean, I definitely believed it before he showed me the grades.”

“Right, that’s true,” Magnus snorted.

Rallon shrugged. “I believe it.”

“I’m pretty sure you’re the only one who does, sweetie,” said Millennia. She smiled and placed a hand on his shoulder reassuringly.

“Yeah, I’m in the minority. As per usual.”

“You wouldn’t always be the minority if you weren’t so weird,” Mortimus mumbled, picking at a loose thread on his robe.

Magnus rolled his eyes. “You can talk,” he scoffed.

“I can.”

“Because you’re not weird?”

“No, because I have the right to free speech. Duh.”

“Not really,” said Magnus, as he thought about the restrictions the High Council had set on what they could and could not say, do, or think.

Jelpax tapped his foot impatiently, then shut his book loudly to make a point.

“If we’re just going to argue for the rest of the meeting, can we not? Some of us have other things that we need to do.”

“I don’t,” said Mortimus.

“Shut up, Mort.”

Ushas stood up and walked to the front of the room. “Jelpax has a point, Koschei. This meeting, up to now, has been completely pointless. I don’t know about anyone else, but I personally don’t want to be in here any longer. Like Jelpax said, I have better things to be doing right now.”

“Okay, fine then,” said Koschei, narrowing his eyes. “Meeting adjourned.”


	15. The Prydonian Paper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Millennia applies for the school newspaper. Ushas dares Jelpax to be silent for a day. Mortimus cleans up his room.

It had been a long day. Magnus wanted nothing more than to just sit down and relax, but that was proven impossible within ten seconds of him opening the door to his room. His eye twitched as he looked at the state of his dorm, and he froze in the doorway.

The normal mess extended onto his side for the first time in years. He told his roommate not to leave a mess on his side of the dorm three days into their stay, and he never crossed the line again. Magnus expected the day to come eventually, but he was not in the mood to deal with it. Then again, he doubted that he would ever be.

Magnus didn’t waste too long thinking about what to do. He walked back out into the hallway, then leaned back against the wall beside their door and waited for his roommate to come back from class. He knew that Mortimus was far more social than him, and he was probably lingering around after class so that he could hit on some annoying girl that he would inevitably creep out.

About five minutes after he arrived, Mortimus walked up to their door, a look of clear confusion on his face. He stopped to talk to Magnus before walking into the room.

“What now?” he asked.

Magnus pushed the door open, then gestured to the enormous mess inside of it. “What the hell is this?”

“Uh, our room?” Mortimus strode over to his bed on the left and flopped down on top of it, as if nothing was out of the ordinary.

“I mean the mess, idiot.”

“Oh, that. Yeah, I was trying to find something.”

“Well, did you find it?”

“Yeah.”

“So why is this stuff still everywhere?”

Mortimus shrugged and kicked a dust bunny off his bed. “I didn’t feel like cleaning it up,” he said. He grabbed a magazine off the top of the pile, failing to notice how outdated it was. “I’ll get to it later.”

“No,” Magnus snapped. “You’ll get to it now.”

He shook his head. “Nah, I mean, I would, but I just really don’t feel like it right now, you know?”

“I don’t care whether you feel like it or not. I don’t want all of this shit littering my bedroom floor. It’s not just yours, and I do have rules, unlike your rich-ass parents. I mean, do they think that you’re an angel or something? What is wrong with them?”

“Hey!” Mortimus shouted. He sat up suddenly and threw the magazine back into the pile on the floor. It slid onto Magnus’s side of the room. “Don’t insult my ma!”

“I didn’t. I insulter her and your dad.”

“Stop! Look, I’ll make you a deal, okay?” He looked around the room as if he was trying to come up with something. “Ha, I got it. I will clean the entire room, including both sides of the bedroom, the loo, and the kitchen.” He nodded. It sounded good so far. “Under one condition; you have to cut your hair.”

Magnus glared at him. “We’ve been over this, Mort. I’m not going to cut my hair. I like it this way.”

He made a face. “You like it being that long?”

Mortimus turned around and grabbed a hand mirror, then held it in front of Magnus, who took a quick look at his reflection. He saw nothing wrong with his brown, almost shoulder-length hair, despite Mortimus’s frequent complaints about it. It wasn’t as if he had a girl’s haircut—it was slicked back, and well taken care of.

“Yeah, I do.”

“Whatever,” he sighed. “I’ll clean the room, but you have to at least think about it, aye?”

Magnus rolled his eyes. “Sure. I’ll _think_ about it. Just please clean up this mess, it’s fucking unbearable.”

“All right. Where would you like me to start, captain?”

“I’m not your captain.”

“Okay, okay, chill,” said Mortimus. He held up his hands in defense. “Maybe I should have asked you to see the guidance counselor about your rage instead of telling you to cut your hair.”

“You had a better chance with the hair.” Magnus crossed his arms. “Now go clean that shit up. Now.”

He shrugged. “Okay. I’ll start with the loo so that it won’t smell like chemicals at bedtime.”

“Look, Mort, I don’t care what you’re cleaning or why. Just get it done. I want this all cleaned up by the end of the day.”

“What?”

“Well, I can’t sleep in here like this. My bed is covered in your crap!”

Mortimus sighed. “Fine, whatever. I’ll go get started.”

He walked over to the loo, then grabbed the soap from beneath the sink and began to spray—without moving anything off the counter. Magnus took a deep fuming breath as his expensive hair gel was ruined by heaps and heaps of soap.

“Mortimus.” No response. “Mortimus, stop! You’re going to get soap all over everything. You have to take that shit off of the counter before you start spraying it.”

“Oh, okay.”

He did as he was told and tossed all the soap-covered items onto the floor, then resumed spraying. He looked over towards the door as he did so, not paying attention as the soap covered the wall and mirror.

“I sigh as I look longingly towards the entrance,” he said dramatically, “wondering if anyone is going to help me clean the loo.”

“Are you seriously monologuing while you clean?”

“It makes time go faster for me.”

Magnus rolled his eyes. “Just keep it down. I’m trying to get stuff done.”

“’Kay.” Mortimus stopped spraying and turned on the sink. “I turn on the sink, hoping that it will help me get these extra soap bubbles off the counter. I see Magnus out of the corner of my eye, who is obviously thinking that something I’m doing is stupid. I know that it isn’t the monologue, but that it is… the soap!”

“Shut up, Mort. I seriously need to get this done.”

“‘What is it?’ I wonder, as I continue to scrub the sink.”

Magnus took a deep breath. He knew that he couldn’t go over and punch Mortimus; it would harm his ability to clean. “Something for my dad,” he said, “but you’re never going to find out what it is if you don’t shut up.”

“I mentally laugh. As if he would ever tell me what it was.”

“That’s it. I’m leaving.”

He didn’t say another word as he shoved his project into his backpack, then fumed out of the door.

“I watched him go, then returned to my cleaning, not really caring too much at all.”

//

“Hey, guys!” said Millennia, as she plopped down into a seat beside Theta. She placed her meal down in front of her, then scanned around the table. She was surprised to see that she was not the last person to the dinner table. “Where’s Mortimus?”

“He’s not coming today,” Magnus answered. His tone was almost amused, which led Millennia to her next question. It was rare for him to laugh unprovoked, and she knew that Mortimus would never, _ever_ miss dinner without a seriously good reason for it.

“Why not?”

He chuckled. “Mort’s just got some things to take care of.”

“Like what?” asked Koschei. He leaned across Theta to hear better, but Theta pushed him back into his seat. Magnus didn’t answer the question, and simply smiled, a look of sinister joy in his eyes.

Millennia shook her head to move on from the subject, then pulled out a piece of paper from her bag. It was a bright orange flier, which was advertising the newest Academy newspaper, “The Prydonian Paper”.

“Look at this, guys!” She spun it around for everyone to see, and they all looked at it for about five seconds before losing interest. Theta took a bit longer of a look, but also ended up shrugging and returning to his meal. “Isn’t it exciting?”

“Not really,” said Magnus.

“Don’t listen to him.” Koschei took the flier from her and inspected it up close. “He just doesn’t care about anything.”

“Everyone knows that.” Millennia nodded and took a sip of her water. “Especially if it’s something that he’s not interested in. But you could be, Magnus.” She looked across the table to him, but his expression was less than willing. “No, really. They’ve got all sorts of cool positions they need to fill. You could do something really fun, I’m sure.”

“Or I could not,” said Magnus. He shook his head. “I really feel no need to get involved, Millennia. No offense to you or anyone else interested. Speaking of which—” he pointed his fork at her “—you’re going for the gossip column, right?”

“No. I’m not sure that I’m going to go for anything at all. I mean, it would be really cool to be a part of something like this, I just don’t know if I could do it.”

Koschei tapped a stream of letters halfway down the back of the page. “Go for the advice column,” he said, as he slid the paper back to her. “You’ve always been good at helping us out of a fix.”

“It’s true,” said Drax, finally dropping his utensils for long enough to speak. “Remember that time that girl was stalking me and you helped me get her to go away?”

“She wasn’t stalking you, Drax.” Millennia sighed. “I’ve told you this before. She just had a crush on you.”

“Maybe from your perspective. I’m still pretty sure that she was stalking me.”

“And that’s why you’ve never had a girlfriend.”

Drax nodded in agreement. “See? That’s some good advice right there. You’re telling me that I can’t have a girlfriend if I’m always accusing girls of stalking me. How about you give me some more advice on that situation?”

“You could try asking a girl out,” said Millennia. She wasn’t sure exactly what to tell him, but it was a start. “Maybe without accusing her of stalking you first?”

“That’s funny.” He forced a laugh, then dropped the smile from his face. “As if I would ask out a girl. Please. I’ve never even gone on a date before.”

“Maybe this would be a good time to try it.”

Drax shook his head, and Millennia decided to move the topic back to what it was originally. “So, you guys think that I should sign up for the advice column?”

“Definitely,” said Rallon. Both his voice and his nod were far more enthusiastic than they needed to be, which encouraged her even more.

“Maybe I will go for it. Thanks, guys! Are any of you going to sign up?” There was a mix of silence and shaking heads at the table. She sighed. “Come on! You guys could do some really cool stuff. Ushas and Jelpax, you two could fight for the interesting factoid section.”

Jelpax snorted. “Unless it’s about the Dark Times, you know I don’t know enough to do that. Ushas could probably pull it off, but she’s too cocky for that. She’ll wait until the paper comes out, then criticize whoever does get the column because she supposedly knows more than they do.”

“Oh, shut up,” Ushas snapped. “Like you’re not cocky about your knowledge.”

“Maybe I am.” He shrugged. “Doesn’t mean anyone is ever going to find out. You seem to forget that no one cares about what I know. Not only do I only know a lot about the one thing, I don’t go around flaunting my knowledge. No one cares that I know anything. Most people don’t even know. I mean, sometimes I get carried away and say too much about boring stuff, but not usually. Like—you know what, I’m doing it right now. I’m just going to stop talking for now.”

“Good idea.” Drax patted him on the shoulder.

“I have a better one,” said Ushas, a smile creeping up her face. She crossed her arms and put on a smug expression. “How about tomorrow you don’t talk at all?”

“But I have to,” Jelpax replied, “I have a presentation in science tomorrow.”

“Well, then you can talk if you really have to. Like, you’re in class and the professor asks you a question, or you’re bleeding out of your eyes or something. But otherwise, no talking.”

He shrugged and nodded. “All right. You’re on.”

“This is going to be funny,” said Drax.

Millennia sighed as they finished their conversation. Apparently, no one cared about the newspaper as much as she thought that they would. “I guess that means that I’m on my own?” she said.

“I’ll help you,” Rallon offered quickly. “I can’t actually be a part of the paper, though. I’m just not good enough at anything for that. Sorry.”

“That’s okay, as long as you’re on board.” She smiled, then stood up and walked over to hug him. “Thank you, Rallon.”

“Anytime, Mil.” His face was flushed red, but Millennia didn’t notice. She walked back over to her seat and finally began to eat her dinner. It was decided—she was definitely going to sign up for the newspaper.

//

“What the…?”

Vansell stopped, his gray eyes wide. Never before had he seen so many nauhusts in his entire life. He had seen one here and there, sure, as you do with small rodents, but not once had he encountered one within the walls of the Academy. This wasn’t just one either, like it had been before, but more than three or even four hundred of them. Normally he wouldn’t have been too bothered by them, as he wasn’t one to scare easy, but the fact that they were scampering around his bedroom made him just a little bit angry. Oh, how he hated living with Rallon.

He couldn’t even walk into the room with all the nauhusts walking around. At least five or six of them had already run out of the door and were dashing down the corridor at full speed, and the rest of them were climbing all over the room. Vansell knew that if he even took one step, he would inevitably end up crushing at least one of them, which would be disgusting, and his friends would probably hate him for it. Well, not Magnus, but the rest of them.

Magnus had killed more than a few creatures in his life, he reasoned, and Vansell wouldn’t even put a person past him, assuming they made him mad enough. Still, he didn’t want to crush any of the rodents because he feared the mess that it would make. It would not do well to have guts on his shoes and carpet.

He sighed and pulled the door shut. There was nothing that he could do about the nauhusts, so he opted to hunt for Rallon instead. He put them there; he could get them out.

//

After dinner, Millennia went over to the student leaders’ front office. It was a friendly, quaint, little office, with a welcome mat right inside of the door. The walls were painted a slightly brighter shade of orange than the hallway, which made it far more welcoming, along with the paintings of landscapes on the wall.

She smiled at the person behind the desk before she even knew who it was, and her expression faded a bit when she realized that it was someone she didn’t know. She had long, blond hair, bright green eyes, and the most picture-perfect face that Millennia had ever seen in her life.

“Hi,” said Millennia. She brought her smile back up to its original level of friendliness. “I’m Millennia. I’m here to sign up for the advice column in the newspaper.”

“You mean apply?” asked the girl. She adjusted her shirt, revealing a nametag. _Erliafuppuve_ , it read.

“Apply?”

“Duh. You can’t just have the position. We have to make sure that no one else wants to do it first. If they do, then we have to give you equal opportunity. So, you have to fill out the paper, and then, if you’re the best applicant, we’ll give you a callback.”

Millennia furrowed her brow and looked around the room. “There’s no one else here!”

“They could show up later,” said Erlia. “You have to apply. That’s that.”

“Okay.” She nodded. “Where’s the application?”

Erlia pointed to a line of paper stacks on the other side of the room. “Over there. Find the one you like, fill it out, and then come back over here.”

“Thank you.” Millennia shot here one last smile before walking over there to get started. She hoped that it would be a quick application, but it was not. The questions were amateurish, limited, and vague, and she knew that her final answers were going to be difficult to come up with. The first three lines were easy, at least.  


**NAME:** _Millennia_

 **YEAR:** _Class of ‘92_

 **PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:** _N/A_  


The three after that were more challenging, but nothing that she couldn’t tackle. She spent several more minutes looking over those before she moved on.  


**REASON FOR INTEREST:** _I love to help people with their problems, and my friends say that I’m really good at giving advice, so they wanted me to try out for the paper._

 **SELF-EVALUATION:** _I think that I would be really good in the position. As mentioned, I have been told that I give great advice, and my friends always come to me first when they need help with something._

 **WHAT SEPARATES YOU FROM OTHER APPLICANTS:**  


Millennia stared at the last line for way too long. She couldn’t think of a single thing that she could give them that she didn’t think anyone else could provide. Of course, her friends would probably tell her that it was because she was thinking too highly of other people, which she knew she tended to do. Rallon told her that it was because she was just a nice person, but sometimes she thought that it weighed her down.

She took a deep breath, nodded to herself confidently, and began to write.  


**WHAT SEPARATES YOU FROM OTHER APPLICANTS:** _I can provide honest help, from both sides of the story. I won’t ever let my personal opinion cloud my vision, and I will always help when a problem is given to me, no matter what time it is or how much homework I have to do. I’m also willing to help with anything else the team needs, even if it’s outside the normal work expectations of my column._  


Satisfied with what she had written, Millennia walked back over to the desk and handed Erlia the paper.

“Here you go,” she said. “I hope it looks good!”

Erlia did not even glance at it before she tossed it into a pile of papers to her left. “I’m sure it does. We’ll look at it later. Thank you for your submission.”

Millennia cocked her head to the side. “You keep saying ‘we’. Who’s the other person? I don’t see anyone else here.”

“My stupid boyfriend is around here somewhere,” she sighed. “The good for nothing idiot. He said that he was taking his break like an hour ago. God, I wish I could find a decent boyfriend. They’re all idiots nowadays.”

“I know, right?” Millennia rolled her eyes dramatically. She didn’t completely agree with the statement, but she thought it would be good to get on Erlia’s good side. “At least you managed to get a boyfriend. I’ve never even had one.”

“It’s not like it would be hard for you, though. I mean, you’re really nice and pretty, not to mention you’ve already got cute guys surrounding you all the time.”

“What? I mean, I do?”

She nodded sadly. “Duh. You’ve got Koschei and Magnus, and who’s the curly one’s roommate?”

“Drax?” Millennia couldn’t help herself from making a face. She was beyond confused.

“Yeah. Those three are so hot. I just wish… oh, never mind. It’s silly.”

“No, no, you can tell me.”

“I wish that I could get a date with someone like that.”

Millennia got an idea then, and she couldn’t help but let out a sneaky smile. “I could probably get you a date with one of them.” She knew that it qualified as an unfair advantage, but she couldn’t help herself.

“Really? With which one? I don’t mind if it’s not the three I mentioned.”

She didn’t know who she had the best chance with, but Millennia didn’t want to mention Rallon. She didn’t want him going on a date with her, although she didn’t quite know why.

“If you want the date as soon as possible,” she said, “then you’ll want to go for Drax.”

“Why?” The question was asked out of curiosity, not disappointment.

“Because Rallon is always really busy, and Jelpax isn’t allowed to talk tomorrow.”

“What? Why not?”

Millennia waved it off. “Long story. Anyway, do you want me to ask him? Drax, I mean?”

“Oh, that would be so nice!” said Erlia, a smile breaking onto her face. “I don’t mean to be a bother, of course, but if it’s really okay with you and him…”

“I’m sure he would love it. He doesn’t get out much.”

“Really? Why not?”

She didn’t have an answer to the question, and suddenly she really wanted one. Drax was incredibly outgoing, and he talked to people all the time, and yet he had never once talked about _actually_ going on a date, nor participating in any sort of extracurricular activity. Millennia shrugged it off. Whatever his reasons were, he obviously didn’t think that it was her business, so she didn’t want to intrude.

“I guess that he just doesn’t like the loud scene,” she improvised. “Anyway, I’ll go talk to him, okay?”

Erlia nodded eagerly. “Thanks!”

“And thank you,” said Millennia. She gestured to the form, which was still laying on top of the pile. She left the room after that, both happy and nervous at the same time.

She was happy that she was helping someone, but nervous about two things; whether or not she would get the advice column, and whether or not she could actually convince Drax to go on a date.

//

“I sigh and take a deep breath. I have finally gotten everything off of Magnus’s bed and onto my own.”

It was five hours after he had started cleaning, and Mortimus was still monologuing. It had taken him four hours alone to clean the restroom, as he had quite a the load of garbage under the sink and in the so-called medicine cabinet behind the mirror, along with all of the empty soap bottles which piled up in the shower, and the old toothbrushes lying on the counter.

He decided to clean up Magnus’s side of the dorm when he finally finished, as he knew that it was the most important thing, and absolutely needed to be finished by the end of the day. That had taken him another hour to do, as he had to make sure that everything which belonged to him was no longer on the right side of the room.

“I chuckled. Magnus has the right side of the room, but for my stuff, that is the wrong side.” He took a step back when he heard the door open, then fell back onto his bed, and landed hard on something. “Ow!”

Magnus, who was standing in the doorway, laughed. “That’s why you don’t leave your shit everywhere, Mort. If you do, life will teach you not to. Or, wait, shouldn’t your mum have taught you that back when you were a tot?”

“I shake my head and glare at him. I then proceed to tell him off for speaking of my mother that way.”

“Dude, stop doing that.”

“Sorry,” said Mortimus. He sat up and pulled a belt out from beneath him. “Once you start, it’s really hard to stop. Especially once you’ve been doing it for five and a half hours.”

“So just don’t do it.” Magnus started to move, then froze when Mortimus spoke again. He noticed the time on the clock when he said how long he had been working for, and it was a bit later than he had expected Magnus to return.

“Where have you been, anyway? It’s almost midnight.”

Magnus was silent for a moment, then blinked several times, his expression blank. “I had to mail something. No big deal.”

“Okay, then. But couldn’t you have just sent it tomorrow?”

“I could have, but then I would’ve had to see you sooner, and we all know how I hate that.”

“Thanks, Magnus.” Mortimus forced a smile. “I love you too.”

Magnus rolled his eyes. “Go to sleep, Mortimus. You have to finish the rest of this tomorrow.”

He headed over to his desk and sat down, and Mortimus could only wonder why he was suddenly allowed to sleep. He didn’t dare question it, however, because he knew that Magnus would instantly tell him that he could finish the whole thing before he went to bed. He desperately did not want to do that, so he kept his mouth shut, flopped onto his pillows, and fell asleep.

//

Millennia slipped into the seat beside Drax, which was oh-so luckily open. Rallon and Vansell were on the other side of the table arguing about something involving nauhusts; Magnus and Mortimus were both eating silently, and the rest of the Deca was busy with conversation (aside from Jelpax, who was dead silent, of course).

She spent all night thinking about how she was going to pop the question, and finally figured out the perfect way to ask him if he would go on a date with a girl that he probably didn’t even know existed. She smiled at him, then tucked her blue hair behind her ear.

“Hi, Drax,” she said.

“Busy,” Drax mumbled, as he stuffed his face with cereal. He clearly wasn’t busy, which meant that he just wasn’t interested in what Millennia had to say. She pushed on anyway.

“I know, but I have to ask you something.” She couldn’t help but notice that Rallon was watching from the other end of the table but decided not to make a big deal out of it. Drax signaled for her to go on by swirling his hand in a circle.

“Since you’re so nice,” she went on, “and I know that you would love something fun to do, is there any chance that you would like to go on a date with the president of the newspaper tonight?” She held out a chocolate chip cookie to Drax, which he promptly snatched and took a bite out of. His answer did not come as fast.

Ushas smirked. “Looks like Jelpax wants to say something,” she said. Jelpax simply shrugged, not bothering to look up from his meal. Ushas narrowed her eyes, then sighed and shook her head.

“I’m pretty sure he just wants to point out the fact that Drax has never gone on a date,” said Mortimus. “Ever.”

Jelpax nodded.

“Well,” Millennia continued, hoping to spin the subject into a more positive light, “this could be the girl that gets you into things. She’s nice, she’s pretty, she’s smart, and she’s already successful. Apparently, the Prydonian Paper was her idea.”

Suffering from insomnia over whether or not she would get picked, Millennia had decided to do some research, and found out several facts about the so far unpublished paper. Drax seemed to be slightly interested in what she said, so she went on.

“She’s hardworking, she likes computers, and she likes you. So, what do you say?”

“Hm…” Drax took his time contemplating the idea, then shook his head and took another bite out of his cookie. “No.”

“No?” Millennia was shocked. She didn’t know if it was even possible to talk up a person any more than she just had, and somehow Drax _still_ didn’t want to go out on a date with her. She sighed. “Please, Drax? Just one date? She’s really nice, I promise.”

Drax made a thinking face, as if he was actually considering it, then broke into a smile and shook his head. “Nope.”

“But she’s so sweet!” Millennia begged. She knew that if she didn’t manage to get the date after what she said, her unfair advantage would be downgraded to a disadvantage. “She’ll be heartbroken if you don’t at least talk to her.”

“Well, when you put it that way, no.”

“All right, fine, I’ll find someone else.” She started to eat her breakfast, then narrowed her eyes when she noticed that Magnus, sitting one seat across and down from her, was clearly amused. “What, Magnus?” she asked, slightly snappier than she had intended.

“Nothing.” He shrugged, a smirk still on his lips. “I was just thinking about something that Mortimus said.”

“But you hate him.”

“Hey, he’s not always wrong.”

Millennia blinked a few times in surprise, then turned back to her bowl of cereal. She could deal with everything after she ate.

//

Ushas couldn’t help but notice that Jelpax looked very relieved when Professor Azmael called him up to do his presentation. She smirked, knowing that it was most likely because he hadn’t spoken a word in the last fifteen hours. She relaxed her shoulders and stretched out her fingers, then sat up a bit straighter, more than ready to listen to his presentation. Except she didn’t hear a thing.

Jelpax adjusted his collar as he walked up to the front of the room, then set up his presentation, including using the blackboard, a three-fold stand, and a small box which was completely covered up by a small red cloth. He paced over to the blackboard, then picked up the drawing pen and doodled a diagram on the wall. Everyone watched in fascination, especially their professor, who took careful note of each and every image there. Jelpax drew a few letters here and there, but none of them formed complete words. Ushas narrowed her eyes; that was not part of her plan.

After around three minutes, Jelpax pointed to a few pictures on the three-fold, all of which were rainbows. Then, he lifted the cloth off of the small box, revealing what looked to be a rainbow-sphere. He drew several more sketches on the blackboard, and then finally wrote a few words, which he underlined twice.

_Rainbow: A Presentation with No Words._

Ushas had no control over the twitching of her eye. Jelpax managed to do his entire presentation without using a single word to describe what he was showing them. Not only that, but everything that he did actually made sense. He had not only communicated several facts about rainbows, he had done a step-by-step tutorial on how to _create_ a rainbow. Well, it wasn’t exactly a rainbow, but—no! She wasn’t supposed to know that! You need to use words to make sense!

She glared at Jelpax when he sat back down in the row behind her. He smiled to her, then tucked his notes back into his bag.

Ushas did her presentation very well a few minutes later (with words and speaking, thank you very much), but even though she described everything in perfect detail, she didn’t feel that it was quite as fantastic as Jelpax’s was, and it drove her insane. Not only that, but people seemed to be zoning her out while she spoke, and they most certainly hadn’t done that to her friend. If she was still calling him that.

She tried hard to keep her focus through the rest of the presentations, but she was no longer in the mood to listen to what those people had to present, especially since the last people to go were some of the most idiotic morons that were even in the Academy. Nothing that they said was correct, save for a few terms, and Professor Azmael made sure to address that fact; which took way too long in Ushas’s opinion.

After six more people had gone up, he called the class to a close. Ushas noticed that Jelpax took his time leaving, but she wasn’t going to let him get away with that. She waited for him to stand up before she left, walking out right behind him.

“Jelpax!” she snapped. Somehow, her word didn’t even trigger an impulsive response from him. Damn, the idiot. The incredibly smart, brilliant, annoying-as-hell idiot. “How did you do that? You were better than everyone else in there combined! Well, except for me, of course,” she added, as she flipped her dark hair over her shoulder.

As always, Jelpax did not waver. He simply shrugged, the expression in his eyes looking nothing short of entirely innocent. Ushas stopped walking beside him and allowed him to go off on his own. She had originally started the dare as a joke, but it had gone too far. No one out-shined her, especially at one of her best subjects.

She still had quite a bit of day left, and no matter what she had to do to make it happen, she was going to get Jelpax to talk.

//

Mortimus collapsed onto his bed, failing to acknowledge the piles of dirty clothes that sat atop it. He was exhausted from his long day of classes and was not looking forward to the coming homework. He had been given at least three dozen assignments, he knew that for sure, but he wasn’t sure how long any of them would take. He grumbled and yanked his pillow over his head.

Though he had hoped to sit around and do nothing for a while, he was interrupted only a few minutes in. Magnus pushed the door open and walked over to Mortimus’s bed loudly, then yanked the pillow off his head.

“Mortimus. Wake up. You’ve got cleaning to do.”

“What? No!” Mortimus shook his head as he sat up. “No way! I cleaned up all of your stuff and everything that we share!”

“Correction: you cleaned up nothing of mine. You cleaned up everything of yours that was on my side. You’re a slob, Mortimus, and now it’s coming back to bite you in the ass. Get over it.”

Mortimus narrowed his eyes, then grabbed his second pillow and threw it at Magnus. “Shut up, Magnus. I can’t clean today. I’ve got buckets of homework to do.”

“That’s your problem.” Magnus caught the pillow and shrugged as he tossed it back to his roommate. “You can figure out how to balance the two things. I, however, need to be somewhere else right now. I just stopped in to make sure you weren’t slacking, which you were. See you later, Mort.”

“What? Where are you going? You can’t go anywhere. I need your help. I’m desperate! People don’t make hoarders clean up on their own!”

“You’re not _quite_ a hoarder yet though, so I can make you do it.”

“No.” Mortimus was glaring so hard that he was practically squinting. “Now, where are you going that’s so much more important than homework. I know that you must have just as much as me.”

“I’m waiting on a package.” He didn’t give Mortimus one last bit of attention before he walked back over to the door and left the room. Mortimus groaned as he watched him go.

Why did Magnus have to be such a jerk? It was the question that would never get an answer. Mortimus momentarily wondered why he hadn’t ever grown out of his bully phase, but he shrugged it off, realizing that it probably wasn’t a phase at all, but a horrible personality trait.

Mortimus decided to stop procrastinating and get to work. It was just a matter of what to start with; homework or cleaning. He didn’t really want to do either of them, but he knew that he was going to have to do one of them, so he decided to draw straws against himself to decide. He won, but he also lost, and he wasn’t sure which hand was playing for which result, so he grabbed a coin, with plans to flip it instead. However, he forgot to call it, and ended up with no answer again. Finally, he chose homework.

But cleaning chose him.

Once Mortimus had tossed his bag onto the floor beside his desk, he realized that here was no way he was going to get anything else done with all the crap that was covering his desk. He considered throwing it all onto the floor but decided against it. It was probably a better idea to just clean it up and put it back where it belonged. Or, he could put it onto Magnus’s desk!

No.

He was not in the mood to get murdered that day.

Ultimately, Mortimus decided that the best thing to do was just move everything off of his bed later and do his homework first. It ended up taking far longer than he expected, which annoyed him, but it was all right, he figured. Homework was still more important than cleaning. He tackled his math homework first, and it was miserable.

“What the hell does this symbol even mean?” he muttered. He ran both hands through his hair, then grabbed onto it, as if he was ready to rip it out. He stared down at the odd symbol, which looked almost like an ampersand, but didn’t, because of the weird line on the bottom of it and weird wraps where the lines should have been. He vaguely recalled seeing it in class once before, but he could not for the life of him remember what it was or what it was supposed to mean.

Half an hour in, Mortimus was so annoyed with his homework that he opted for the next task. He looked over to Magnus’s side of the room, then walked over to his bed and started to pull stuff off.

“I would finally go back to cleaning up, as I was completely finished with my homework. Mentally, not literally, of course. I had been close to finishing one subject, but…”

//

Millennia walked into the office; her head held high. She wasn’t exactly sure how she was going to tell Erlia that she hadn’t gotten the date yet, but she had been thinking about it all day and knew that she couldn’t put it off. It was going to be rough, she bet, but that was okay with her. She wasn’t going to force Drax to do it if he didn’t want to.

“Erlia!” she called, sending a friendly wave her way. “Hi!”

“Hi, Millennia.” Erlia sighed happily. Millennia couldn’t help but notice how good of a mood she was in, and she suddenly wondered if it was going to be easier or harder to break the news to her because of that. “Isn’t it a beautiful day?”

“The rain threw me off a bit,” said Millennia, taking a glance outside of the window, “but I suppose that rain is beautiful in its own way, isn’t it?”

Erlia nodded. “It’s going to be even greater, because I’ve got some good news for you.”

“What is it?”

“You got into the audition! Only one other person actually signed up for the advice column, so it’s just going to be one-one one; whoever answers the sample question better gets the part. I’m not judging, just so you know. We’re having an actual student ask the sample question, so they’re going to let us know which response helped them more.”

“What’s the problem?” asked Millennia.

Erlia shrugged. “We’re not sure yet. I sent out a letter this morning asking what problems people need advice for, but no one has responded yet. As soon as the person sends in a question, I’ll—hold on.” She clicked a few buttons on the computer in front of her, then turned back to Millennia. “Actually, never mind. We just got the question. Here, I’ll print it out.”

She clicked a few more buttons, then walked over to the printer and pulled off the freshly inked sheet. She scanned it over, then brought it up to the counter and handed it to Millennia before she sat back down. Millennia started to read it, already coming up for answers for theoretical questions. She was surprised by how normal the question turned out to be.  
  


_Dear Advice-Person,_

_I really, really like my friend. The thing is, we’ve known each other for a super long time, and I just don’t know how to tell her, or even if I should. I know that I want to, though._

_My heart flutters and I can’t help but smile every time that I see her. She’s beautiful and perfect and I’m starting to think that I might be in love. I just don’t know if she would return my feelings, and I’m scared to ruin our friendship. What should I do?_

_Sincerely,_

_Love-Struck_  
  


Millennia was so stunned by the normalcy of the question that she wasn’t sure of how to answer it. She had helped a few of her friends with that same question before—Mortimus on multiple occasions, being over dramatic every single time—but then she had known both of the people in question personally. Now, she didn’t know anything about either of them, and it was troubling. Some things that worked really well for some people wouldn’t work well at all for others, and it made coming up with a solution difficult.

She decided to answer it later, once she thought on it more, then folded it up and placed it into her bag. Just as she was about to leave, Erlia called her back.

“Hold on.” She smiled shyly. “I broke up with my stupid boyfriend.”

“Yeah? Good for you!”

“Thanks. So, I was wondering what happened with Drax?”

“I’m really sorry,” Millennia blurted. Erlia’s face fell almost immediately, and she felt a pang of guilt in her chest. “I tried, but he doesn’t seem very interested. It’s not you, though. I think that he’s just really busy. That, and he can be very shy sometimes.”

Erlia nodded sadly. “It’s all right,” she said. “I should have known that it was too good to be true.”

“You might still be able to talk to him yourself. Maybe you could convince him.”

“I doubt it.” She sighed. “Thanks anyway, Millennia.” She put on a false smile and turned back to the computer at her desk.

Millennia bit her lip and headed out of the room, Love-Struck’s question still the number one item on her mind.

//

“Jelpax!”

Ushas ran up to him when she saw him in the library. He was stacking books onto shelves when she walked in, just as she hoped he would be. The library wasn’t the best place to talk, but it was the only place she was guaranteed to find him, and she was running out of time to make him lose the dare.

He looked over at her when she walked up, and he waved, but he didn’t speak. She sighed, knowing that she failed to get an impulsive reaction out of him once again. She could see Drax watching them from behind a bookcase, but she didn’t really care. Rallon and Mortimus were nowhere to be seen, so it wasn’t like she had an uncomfortable audience watching the whole thing go down.

“So, something horrible has happened and I really need your help.”

Jelpax raised his eyebrows in response.

“You can talk again, by the way.” He said nothing, and she sighed. He was smarter than she thought. “Okay, don’t. Nothing bad even happened anyway. I was just trying to get you to talk. So go ahead, make a mockery of me now.”

He shook his head as Drax stepped out from behind the bookcase. He looked over at her, an amused expression on his pale, freckled face. He seemed to be squinting slightly, but she didn’t mention it; she was trying to get Jelpax to talk, not Drax.

“You’re not going to break him that easily,” he said. “I don’t know what kind of idiot you take this guy for—” he pointed at Jelpax “—but he isn’t going to fall for any of your tricks. He said that he’s going to go the whole day without speaking and do that he will. In fact, he could probably go longer than that if you really wanted him to. For some reason. I don’t know why you would, but—”

Jelpax held up a hand, and Drax knew that meant that it was time for him to shut up. He chose not to shut up completely, but to change the subject.

“So, yeah,” he said. He pushed a hand through his bangs. “You can go ahead and leave now, because all you’re doing is wasting our time. You’re going to have to think of a better plan if you actually want to get him to talk.”

Ushas sighed. “Fine, I will. But believe me, it’s going to happen, and you’re going to talk.” She pointed a finger in Jelpax’s direction, and he rolled his eyes. She knew exactly what he was thinking, and she didn’t want to hear it from Drax, so she stormed out of the library, ignoring her peers’ stares when she slammed the doors behind her.

Drax grabbed some books off the cart beside him after she left, then shot Jelpax a look on his way to put them where they belonged.

“Never going to happen,” he muttered.

//

Millennia spent a long time working on her answer. It was already well past midnight, but she wasn’t ready to go to bed yet. Not without knowing that what she had written was exactly what she had envisioned. So far, she had written basically what she wanted, but she still didn’t think that it was good enough. She couldn’t stop when it was just kind of good, she had to stop when it was above and beyond an adequate answer.

There was a knock at the door and she stood up to answer it, glancing at Ushas briefly as she did so. Still asleep. She opened the door, only to find an exhausted Mortimus on the other side, wearing bright yellow rubber gloves and a paper mask.

“Do you have any canned air?” he asked quickly.

“What?” Millennia had never even heard of such a thing.

“Canned air. It’s for cleaning stuff.”

“Cleaning what? What are you doing?”

Mortimus rolled his eyes. “Please, Millennia,” he said. “I’m not in the mood to explain, and it’s past curfew so Runcible is probably about to bust me right now. Can you just see if Ushas has any? Drax was out and it seems like the kind of thing that she would keep around.”

“Yeah, okay.” Millennia nodded, then walked over to Ushas’s desk. To her surprise, she found some canned air relatively fast. She handed it to Mortimus. “Just make sure that it’s back before she wakes up, in case she gets mad for some reason.”

He ran off down the hall then, and Millennia returned to her notebook and pen. She changed a few things in her answer, then decided that what she had written was good enough. It seemed almost perfect. Straight to the point, and elegant, plus a bit corny.  
  


_Dear Love-Struck,_

_Tell her. The right way will come to you, and you’ll know what it is because of the little feeling in your stomach that will let you know that the stars have aligned. It’s the right place, the right time, the right way. As soon as you get that feeling, don’t waste any time. If you wait, she could slip away, and you might never get the chance to know how she felt._

_Tell her as soon as possible; as soon as it feels right, and it’s likely that she will return your feelings. If not, then you’ll still have the satisfaction of knowing that you tried. Don’t be scared of losing your friendship. If you’re really close, nothing will come between you for more than a few days. Good luck._

_-Advice Column Candidate #1_  
  


All she had to do then was wait, and hope that her answer was better than Advice Column Candidate #2’s.

//

“Hey, Jelpax?”

Jelpax looked up from his history book and adjusted his glasses. “Hm?”

“You know that you can talk again, right?”

He nodded. “Yes. I just have nothing to say.”

“That’s good.” Ushas smiled. “Maybe one day was enough to get you to stop talking so much.”

“No.” Jelpax shook his head. “It’s probably just because no one at the table is having any interesting conversations. If there was somewhere for me to speak and say something stupid, I’m sure that I would have done it by now.”

“Oh, shut up. You can’t talk today either.”

“Okay.” He shrugged and turned back to his book.

“Pax, I think that she was joking,” said Drax, who was sitting beside Jelpax. He poked him in the shoulder, but he didn’t look up. “Pax?”

Mortimus sighed deeply. “It’s too late, Drax. He’s already taken on the challenge. There’s nothing we can do about it now.”

“Damn. I was hoping that he could give me his geometry answers today.”

“That’s like, the easiest subject ever,” said Ushas. “How could you possibly need to cheat at it?”

Drax shrugged. “I guess I’m just not as smart as you.”

“Maybe you would be if you ever bothered to study.”

“I don’t,” Koschei put in, “but I’m still passing, so it must not be completely mandatory.”

“Have you looked at your grades recently?” She rolled her eyes and scoffed. “You will fail if they drop any lower.”

“Oh. Well, I guess that I’ll just fail, then.”

“How do you guys not care about this? Grades are important!”

Jelpax nodded in agreement, but Magnus just shook his head. “Not really,” he said. “Maybe they’re important for some of us, but not all of us want extremely good jobs like you, Ushas. Not only that, but some of us are screwed whether we graduate or not.”

“What do you mean?” asked Ushas, furrowing her brow.

“You know how Time Lords are. Everything and everyone has to be perfect. That automatically puts half of this table out of a job.”

She tried to wrap her head around what he was trying to say, but somehow, it wasn’t connecting. It pissed her off. “You’re still not making any sense.”

“That’s just because you’re perfect,” he said simply, his expression blank. “I’m pretty sure that the people I’m talking about right now understand what I mean.”

Jelpax nodded once more. “So Jelpax knows what you’re talking about, and I don’t?” said Ushas. “That’s sad.”

“Excuse me?” Drax pointed his fork at Ushas threateningly. “I’ll have you know that Jelpax is really smart. Maybe even smarter than you.”

Ushas laughed. “Please.”

“Pretty sure he comes off that way because he doesn’t flaunt his knowledge the way that you do,” said Mortimus. “Just my observation, though. I could be wrong.”

“Like you always are?” Magnus muttered.

He didn’t bother fighting it. “Yes. Like I always am.”

Millennia ran up to the table and sat down beside Rallon. “Hey, guys,” she said, already digging into her meal. Her short blue hair was slightly messy, and her robe had wrinkles in it. Neither of those were strictly against the rules, but they were significantly frowned upon.

“Don’t eat too fast, Millennia,” said Rallon. He didn’t say it jokingly, but almost as if he was genuinely concerned about her accidentally making herself sick.

“I know, I know. I’m just running really behind. I stayed up late working on the answer to that advice question.”

At dinner the previous night, Millennia had told them all about what was going to happen with the audition and the question. Magnus found it to be incredibly stupid, but the rest of them had listened and supported her.

“Does that mean you got an answer for it?” asked Rallon. “Or are you still trying to figure it out?”

“I think I got it. I’m going to turn it in on my way to dinner tonight.” She smiled. “Just as long as Mortimus doesn’t eat everything before I get here.”

Mortimus sighed loudly. “It’s all right. I won’t be eating dinner tonight. I have to finish cleaning up my stupid room and do all my stupid homework.”

He glared at Magnus, who only chuckled in response. One man’s trash was another man’s treasure, and Mortimus’s pain was pleasure to Magnus.

//

“…I pick up the thing and throw it away, gagging the entire time. I would wonder what it is, as I run into the bathroom to wash my hands off.”

Dinner had finished nearly an hour earlier, and Mortimus was still cleaning. Magnus had not yet gotten back to their dorm room, and Mortimus wondered where he was for a bit, but ultimately decided that he was glad that he could clean without being yelled at or made fun of. How was he supposed to know that Magnus didn’t want him to throw away all their socks? They smelled terrible!

“I would dust the desk, preparing to wipe it down. That is, if I am able to locate the wood polisher, which seems to have dematerialized.”

He decided to finish his homework before he got to work cleaning everything, so that once he was done, he was really done, and he didn’t have a gigantic stack of homework that he had to do. Therefore, as soon as he finished the last of the cleaning, he would be able to rest.

“I would hum a song as I finished dusting the desk. I looked around for the wood polisher, then gasped in surprise as the door swung open, revealing none other than the evil overlord, Magnus!”

Magnus walked in and sat down at his desk, not sparing Mortimus a second glance. He picked up a piece of paper and began to write on it.

“My feelings would be hurt, as my roommate ignored my existence.”

“Shut up, Mortimus.”

“I would feel better when he talked to me. That is, until I remember that he is an evil overlord. I whip out my sword to battle him.”

Magnus turned around, a puzzled expression on his face. “What the fuck?”

“I would explain to him how I came up with complex characters and story lines to occupy some of my time.”

“That’s the dumbest thing I’ve heard all day.” He rolled his eyes.

“I would be hurt, and betrayed, even though he is my enemy.”

“I… never mind.” He shook his head slowly. “Just fucking clean.”

Mortimus smiled. “I did as I was told. I wouldn’t want to cross the Wicked Witch of the West, after all.”

//

Millennia sprinted to the Deca’s weekly meeting the next morning. The letter had been slipped under her door before she woke up, and as soon as she saw it sitting there, she bolted out of bed and grabbed it. Once she saw what it said, she got dressed as fast as she could, eager to tell all her friends about it.

When she got to Borusa’s dimly lit classroom, only Magnus, Vansell, Rallon, and Ushas were in there, but she didn’t care. She couldn’t wait any longer to share her exciting news.

“Guys, I got it! I got the spot!”

Magnus chuckled. “That’s what Mortimus said.”

“What?” She received no response, so she went on. “Anyway, I’m answering two questions every week, and I get to write my own piece of general advice on whatever topic I want! Isn’t this amazing?”

“Yeah.” Rallon nodded, a huge grin on his face. “That’s wonderful.”

Two more members of the Deca—Drax and Jelpax—walked into the room right as she spoke. Jelpax was looking down at his phone in silence, but Drax looked fully attentive, one arm open and the other wrapped around his roommate’s shoulders.

“What’s wonderful?” he asked, finishing with a yawn.

“I got the advice column,” Millennia answered cheerfully.

“Sweet.”

“Congratulations,” said Jelpax. For once, he didn’t attempt to break out of Drax’s grip when he pocketed his phone. “I always knew that you would get it.”

“Aw, thank you.”

Magnus scoffed. “Mil, you know that he’s just saying that to be nice.”

“No, I’m not.” He took a step forward, and Drax, instead of moving his arm, stumbled up behind him. “I’m serious.”

“Please.”

“No, really,” Jelpax insisted. “I’m telling you. I know who the other person was, and they almost certainly entered something that was entirely illegible, or at least unintelligent.”

Drax laughed, but Magnus seemed unfazed. “How would you know?” he said. “It’s anonymous.”

“It’s not when they’re your talkative lab partner.”

Jelpax finally broke out of Drax’s grip when he took a step towards Magnus, at which point he promptly backed away and ran off to take his seat. Jelpax went to his own seat as well, but only after giving Magnus the stare-down of a lifetime.

“Anyway,” Millennia cut in, “what should I make my name for the column?”

“Column,” said Koschei, as he and Theta filed into the room. “It’s a good name. I like that. Column,” he repeated.

“That’s not the name that I’m choosing, Koschei.”

“Aw.” Theta frowned and sat down beside Koschei. He didn’t seem to notice that he was still wearing his dark blue pajamas, nor that his blond hair was a complete mess. “Why not? It’s unique.”

“Thanks, but no thanks. I’m going to try to think of something else.”

“I’ll help you figure it out,” said Rallon. “I’m sure that we can think of something.”

Millennia nodded approvingly. “Yeah. Two heads are better than one.” She smiled, and the room went silent for a moment as they looked at each other.

“And four hearts are better than two,” he added quietly.

“I still wish I knew who sent in that letter,” said Millennia, once the moment had passed. “It sounded pretty serious, so I don’t think that it was one of the early students with a little crush or something, but I don’t know if I’ve met the person who wrote it. I mean, the tone sounded slightly familiar, but it’s hard to tell without something to compare it to.”

Rallon nodded. “Maybe it’s best left as a mystery. After all, you’re going to be facing a lot of those soon.”

“That’s true.”

Suddenly, Ushas stood up and looked around the room. “Where’s Mortimus?” she demanded. “We need to get started. And don’t tell me that he’s not coming again.”

“Well, I’m going to,” said Magnus. “Start without him. He’s not coming today.”

“Why not?”

He shrugged. “He’s busy.”  
  


_“I would attempt to hold in my bile as I climbed beneath my bed, crying the entire time. Why, Magnus?! Why?!”_  
  


“Okay, anyway,” said Ushas, “does anyone have anything to tell the group? Besides Jelpax, of course, who I think should take a fourth day off from speaking.”

Jelpax sighed. “Starting now,” he mumbled.

“No!” Drax protested. “I can’t go another day without your help. I’m failing every one of my classes!”

There was a moment of silence as Jelpax looked from Ushas to Drax, and back again. He seemed to be considering what he should do, or which one was more important to him. Funnily enough, everyone who cared hoped that he would pick Drax. Jelpax knew that, so he decided not to. Sort of.

Drax looked down to his phone when it buzzed, then smiled over at Jelpax.

“So, anyway,” said Ushas, “does anyone have anything else to say? We still have plenty of time before we have to call the meeting.”

“Nope,” Vansell answered. Everyone else had remained silent, or simply shaken their heads in response. “I’m just glad that the nauhusts are gone.”

“What?” She looked almost alarmed, as if she feared that they were in the school. Which they probably still were.

He smirked. “It’s a long story.”


	16. The Medusa Cascade pt. 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Deca goes on a field trip. Mortimus meets a hot girl. Drax fails the unfailable.

“Oh, this is going to be so great!” Millennia squealed as she placed a shirt into her backpack, then turned around to face her friends. She frowned when she realized that their expressions were not nearly as excited as hers was. “Aren’t you guys excited for this?”

Drax groaned. “Right, I am so excited to hang out on a spaceship for three days, floating around a couple of dull-ass planets. Ugh.”

“They’re not dull,” said Ushas, “they’re important. Besides, we’re not even there to see the planets, we’re there to see the Medusa Cascade.”

“Blah, blah, blah.” Theta waved a hand around in the air, dismissing the statement. “I don’t care about the planets, whether or not they’ve got some kind of cascade in the middle of them.”

“All right then. It’s your failed assignment, not mine.”

“Boring or not,” said Vansell, “I’m just glad that we get to leave this stupid Academy for a few days. I hate this place.” He opened his mouth to continue, but before he could say another word, he was cut off by the sound of his phone ringing. He pulled it out of his pocket. “Be right back.”

No one bothered to watch him leave. They were all way too busy complaining and exclaiming about the forthcoming field trip. It was, after all, their first real one.

The trip to the Medusa Cascade was not their very first field trip at all, but the other ones had been only day trips. Never before had they gone off Gallifrey, nor on a school trip that lasted longer than a few hours. Though it should have been exciting, the Headmaster informed them that they would not be leaving the ship for most of the time, which made the trip nothing but a few good views and some boring facts.

“I’m personally excited to go and learn about the different planets surrounding the Medusa Cascade,” said Ushas, as she continued to pack her suitcase. “I think that it sounds absolutely fascinating.”

“You know, Ushas,” Koschei began, looking up from his seat on the bed, “you don’t have to brown-nose when the professors aren’t around.”

She scoffed. “I’m not brown-nosing. I’m genuinely excited to go.”

“That’s a load of crap and you know it.” He paused, and his face scrunched up to show his sudden realization and disgust. “That, or you really are that unbelievably boring.”

“Yes, I am.”

He turned to Drax. “Can I sit next to you instead?” he asked. “I don’t think that I can ride with her the whole way there.”

“Yeah, fine by me. Wait, hold on.” He turned his gaze to Jelpax. “Pax, you need to find someone else to sit with. I’ve just spoken to someone and they’re going to be sitting next to me instead.”

Jelpax rolled his eyes. “If you say so.”

“What are you all doing in here?” Ushas asked suddenly, as if she had only just realized that they were all hanging out in her and Millennia’s room. “Shouldn’t you be packing? Or were you planning to be sick tomorrow?”

“Nah, I’m going, I just don’t think that I need to pack much stuff,” said Drax. “It’s not like I have to change six times a day. In fact, I think I could probably just wear the same outfit every day.”

“That’s a great idea,” Koschei agreed. “Maybe I’ll do the same thing. We’re probably going to have to wear our robes the whole time anyway.”

“We do,” said Ushas, as she dropped a book into her suitcase. “Did you guys even bother to read the field trip information pamphlet?”

“No.” Drax’s voice was flat. “I just figured that it would be a whole bunch of boring shit, so I decided not to. I think I pretty much got the gist of it by listening to you, though, so it’s okay.”

“That’s not okay. You have no idea what we’re even going to do. No wonder you think it’s so boring. Everything you know about the trip is based off of my assumptions!”

“That might be true, but I still think it’s okay.”

Ushas took a deep breath, attempting to keep herself calm. “If you’re not going to pack, at least read the information pamphlet. Mine is on my desk there—” she pointed at a rectangular piece of paper on her desk “—go read it.”

Drax groaned and walked over to her desk, then picked up the pamphlet and peered inside of it. “This is the most boring thing that I have ever read in my entire life. I say fuck the pamphlet! I’ll just learn about everything once we get there. Or not, if I decided not to pay attention.”

“You never pay attention.”

“Fair enough.” He chose not to notice Jelpax glancing in his direction. “Anyways, I got to go pack my toothbrush. After all, that’s probably the only thing that I need to bring.” He shot Ushas a smile before leaving the room and his friends behind.

“Wait, where is he going?” asked Mortimus. He looked around the room, a confused expression on his face. Suddenly, he stopped. “Hold on. Whose room is this?”

“Mine,” said Ushas. She rolled her eyes, then gestured to the scientific tools surrounding the side of the room that she was standing on. “Unless any of you guys would own any of this or that.” She pointed to Millennia’s side of the room, which had more plants and flowers adorning it.

“What?” Millennia shrugged. “I like nature. It wouldn’t kill you to try to like them too.”

“Yeah!” Mortimus nodded in agreement.

“All right, Millennia, be quiet,” said Ushas, “and Mortimus, get out!”

He pouted. “Fine. Bye.”

She watched him go to ensure that he was definitely out of the room before sending her aggressive expression across the room to the remainder of her friends.

“What are you guys even doing in here?” she asked.

“Well, see, we came up with this plan,” said Jelpax, “in which we all come in here and just sit around so that we can annoy the hell out of you.”

“Seriously?”

“No, you moron. Millennia invited us.”

Ushas glared at him for only seconds before turning her glare to the true perpetrator. It landed on her roommate, who quickly turned away, her short, dark blue hair whipping around as she hid her face.

“You know what?” said Ushas, turning back to the others. “I don’t even care. Just get out. All of you!”

“Okay,” said Jelpax. “Bye.”

As soon as everyone else had left the room, Ushas turned back to face Millennia. “I cannot believe that you told them all to come in here. Why would you do that?”

“Gee, I don’t know,” said Millennia. “I think I was under the impression that they were our friends.”

“Whatever. If I wasn’t in such a good mood about the field trip, I would clock you right now.”

Luckily, she was, and she didn’t.

//

“Can we go home yet?”

“We haven’t even boarded the ship. How can you possibly want to go home already?” Ushas’s voice was almost flat, her annoyance just barely eating into her tone.

“Because I’m bored,” said Drax. He pulled his backpack over his shoulder. “This is the longest I’ve ever had to wait to get on one of these things.”

“When have you ever been on one of these before?”

Drax shrugged but supplied Ushas with no answer to her question. She sighed and decided to let it go, as it was quite normal behavior for him. More often than not, he dodged personal questions, even if it didn’t seem like anything that a normal person would bother to keep private.

“I’m just happy that we’re finally leaving,” said Koschei, stepping up beside Ushas. “The sooner we leave, the sooner we’re back!” He paused, then furrowed his brow in confusion. “Wait, how long are we going to be there for?”

Ushas rolled her eyes. “You are an absolute idiot. How can you not know how long the trip is?”

“I didn’t listen in class and I didn’t bother to read the pamphlet.”

“Oh. Well, that makes sense, then. It’s stupid, but it makes sense.”

“As long as you’re not going to yell at me again.”

“No need,” she said. “The punishment will find you on its own.”

Koschei did not respond, effectively ending their conversation. Rallon saw his opening in the silence and stepped up beside them, his eyes still scanning the area.

“Have you guys seen Vansell anywhere?” he asked.

Theta, who had been staying silent so as not to get into an argument, spoke up. “Nope,” he answered. “Not since yesterday, at least.”

“That’s odd. Me either.”

“It’s not really that odd,” said Magnus. He stepped in front of them. “You guys are roommates after all. I’d expect you to have seen him yesterday.”

“Not what I meant.” He turned his attention back to Theta. “Was it in Ushas’s room that you saw him last as well?”

“Yeah. Why?”

“Because that’s the last time I saw him too. That’s why I added ‘as well’ to the end.”

“Ah.” Theta nodded slowly. “So, you think he’s ditching the field trip?”

“I honestly don’t know.” Rallon shrugged and blew his dark hair out of his eyes. “He never gave a clear indication of whether or not he wanted to go, so I really have no idea if ditching is something that he would do or not.”

“He ditched class with me once,” said Jelpax.

Rallon turned to him quickly, as if he was surprised. “Have you been standing there the entire time?”

“Yeah. I’ve been beside Drax since we left the building.” He made a face. “Have you really not noticed me?”

“Maybe you should try speaking up once in a while,” said Drax. “It might give people more of a reason to acknowledge your presence.”

“Why should I bother speaking if I have nothing to say?”

“To make sure that everyone knows you’re here.”

Jelpax gave his friend an odd look. “All right, so let me get this straight. I have to waste my breath on you idiots just so that you know I’m here?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m leaving the Deca.”

Magnus shrugged and waved to him lamely. “Have a good life,” he said.

Jelpax threw his hands into the air, as if to ask if Magnus was seriously letting him go that easily. Magnus clearly did not notice, nor care, as he simply pushed past Jelpax and climbed onto the ship as soon as he realized they had opened the doors.

“He is such a jackass,” Jelpax sighed, as he stepped up onto the ship.

“Sarcasm?” said Drax.

“Only partially.”

//

“Isn’t this exciting?” said Mortimus, rolling over in his lumpy bed. “I thought that we were going on a field trip to look around and see some stuff, but no. Apparently we’re just going to float around in space for a while.”

Magnus took a deep breath to make sure that his voice would stay quiet when he spoke. Mortimus might not have cared about waking up every other boy in their class, but Magnus did. “Shut up, Mort. We’re on our way to the Medusa Cascade. We’ll be there when you wake up.”

“I can’t sleep,” he groaned. “I have too many questions! Like, why didn’t we just take a TARDIS? We could have been there already. Or we wouldn’t have had to leave until tomorrow morning.”

“Shut up, Mortimus. People are trying to sleep.”

He peeked over the side of the bed onto the bunk below him, where Magnus was sitting. He had a flashlight in one hand and a book in the other. “You aren’t,” he said.

“I said people. I never said me specifically. Now go to sleep, you idiot.”

“Fine.” Mortimus ducked under his covers and pulled a pillow over his head, hoping that sleep would come quickly.

//

“Oh, my god. It’s beautiful!”

Millennia was awoken by the miserable bright light shining in her eyes, and effectively burning her corneas. “I’d ask what,” she said sleepily, “but I’m not sure that it matters.” She blinked several times, attempting to clear the flames from her eyes. “Oh, never mind, I suppose I can still see. Thought I went blind for a moment there.”

“Shut up, Millennia,” said Ushas, whipping around to look at her. Her hair flipped around her face, and she pushed it behind her ears. “Just take a look at the Cascade, all right?”

Millennia groaned, then rolled out of the uncomfortable gray bed and dropped down onto the orange tiled floor beneath her. She didn’t much understand the color schemes that had been chosen to decorate the dorm rooms (orange for the girls, red for the boys), nor why it was that they had only colored the floors that way.

She walked over to Ushas, then looked out of the window. What she saw was in fact beautiful, but she wasn’t entirely sure that it was the Medusa Cascade that she was looking at.

It was a beautiful mix of green, purple, blue, red, and orange, with several planets floating about it. The whole area was bright and shiny, and reminded her somewhat of a painting. Still, there seemed to be a lack of anything exceptionally remarkable there, and she struggled to find a focus point. Suddenly, Ushas grabbed her shoulders and turned her towards the right.

“The rift,” she said, as she pointed over to what looked like a glowing tear in the sky, “is over there.”

“Oh.” Millennia stared at it, taking in the sight of the fluffy, gaseous clouds. “I wasn’t quite sure what I was supposed to be looking at.” She cocked her head to the side. “Actually, I still don’t get it. What are we even here for?”

“To look at the Cascade. Duh.”

She scratched the side of her head as she considered it. “Still, are we just going to float around it or something? It doesn’t look like there’s really anything that we can land on.”

“Nonsense,” said Ushas. She reached into her shoulder bag and pulled out a colorful sheet of paper, then pointed to a line on it. “Aha! See here? It says that we’re going to land on the fifteenth broken moon on day four.”

“Day four?” Millennia groaned. “How many days are we going to be here?”

“I don’t know, but if it’s important for you to know, how about you, uh, read the itinerary?!”

She took a step back and held up her hands in defense. “Come on, Ushas. You don’t have to be a jerk about it. I just forgot where I put my itinerary, okay?”

“Really? How do you lose the one thing that you’re required to bring?”

“Hey, we were required to bring our robes too!”

“And did you?”

“I think so.”

Ushas rolled her eyes. “Millennia, you are one of my best friends, truly, but you are simply intolerable sometimes.”

“Everyone is intolerable to you,” she snapped.

“That’s true. Now shut up and get dressed. We have a Cascade to see!”

Millennia sighed and yawned again. She felt that she had already gotten a pretty good look at the Cascade, but she still didn’t want to be late for the day’s activities.

//

“…and when we are not in the middle of a viewing session or visit, you are free to roam the ship. However, if a door is locked or there is a sign which says ‘off-limits’, ‘staff-only’, or anything else that may suggest that you do not enter, do not enter. I know that some of you are prone to do the opposite of that—” Borusa glanced over to the Deca “—but you will not do that now. If you break any rules such as that, you will not be allowed on the next field trip. Understood?”

“Yes, sir!”

The response came from most of the students, and if anyone had said anything else, it would not have been heard over the overwhelming sound. That was why no one noticed that Magnus had decided to say something which was a tad less kid friendly. Except for Ushas, of course.

“Watch your tongue, idiot,” she snapped, keeping her voice low. “I don’t need Professor Borusa supervising us the entire time.”

“Why would he supervise you?” Magnus wasn’t as concerned about keeping his voice low, but he kept it just above Ushas’s anyway. “It’s not like you’re the one saying inappropriate things about Borusa.”

“You think I don’t know that? Look, the problem is that he thinks that we’re all horrible troublemakers.”

“We are all horrible troublemakers.”

“But not in the same way,” she sneered. “Look, if you do something stupid then he’s going to be watching the entire Deca. I don’t need that right now.”

“Come on, Ushas. You’re exaggerating. You know that you’re his favorite. Even if I do something stupid, you’ll still be bottom of the list of people he has to keep an eye on.”

“Well, you are right. After all, even if he starts to bother me more, I can rat you out for stuff and he’ll be so mad at you that he’ll totally forget about me.”

Magnus chose not to respond to her comment. He crossed his arms, rolling his eyes as he turned his attention back to Borusa. Or at least, turning his head back to Borusa. If he had anything at all to think about, Magnus would rather be thinking about that instead.

“…which is to say that there will be no boys in the girls’ room, and no girls in the boys’ room. Even though I know you’re all young enough to have other interests as of now, I don’t need your parents thinking anything. Also…”

Drax leaned in closer to Jelpax. “What if there’s a gay kid?”

“What?” Jelpax actually had been listening to Borusa and didn’t fully register what Drax had said until a moment later. “Wait, what?”

“Well, like, if one of those girls was gay, what’s to stop her from fooling around with another gay girl? Same goes for the boys. I mean, I don’t know anyone who would be into that, but I’m willing to bet at least two per gender. And what about Dourgonn? Isn’t he genderfluid? Someone really didn’t think through these rules.”

Jelpax slapped him across the shoulder. “Shut up and listen.”

Drax stuck his tongue out, then pouted and rolled his eyes as he turned away from Jelpax. He couldn’t possibly care less about what Borusa had to say, and he knew that if someone didn’t do something soon, they were going to be stuck in that room for at least another twenty minutes.

He tapped his foot against the silver floor as he attempted to come up with something to do. He was so unbelievably bored of sitting there. Suddenly, a grin tugged at his lips when an idea sprang into his mind.

Not to be too cocky about it, but Drax had set up his plan months in advance. He hadn’t known exactly when he was going to go through with it, but when he found Borusa’s personal phone pin, he knew that he had to write it down. He was going to do something with it eventually, and _finally_ , it was time.

Drax reached into his pocket, pulled out his phone, and tapped onto the messaging application. He smiled to himself as he typed out the first message, making it all up as he wrote.

**ME: rules r for fools**

He grinned when Borusa glanced down at the phone on his podium. The lecture was about to get interesting.

//

“Oh, my god.”

Ushas turned her head. “What?”

They were all leaving the lecture hall several minutes too early, as Borusa had dismissed them after getting too fed up about something that Ushas didn’t understand. No one much cared about the early dismissal, except for Ushas, who had become incredibly irritable because she didn’t get to hear the load of facts that Borusa had been planning to share.

“Look at her,” said Mortimus, his dark brown eyes locked on a girl standing several feet in front of them. She had long, blond hair, and light freckles on her cheeks; when she flipped her hair over her shoulder, it was obvious that she had a perfect figure. “She’s gorgeous,” he breathed. Suddenly, he turned to Ushas with intensity. “What’s her name?”

She shrugged. “Beats me. Just introduce yourself.”

“Last time that happened I got dumped before I could even go out with her. She yelled at me because apparently we’d been in the same class for years and I didn’t know her name.”

“That was one girl,” said Jelpax, popping up behind them. “Get over it. This one isn’t going to be the same.”

“How do you know?” he moped.

“Because not all girls are the same. They’re a different species, Mort; but contrary to what you seem to think, they are not all exact clones of each other.”

“Okay.” He rubbed his sweating palms on his robes. “I’ll try to talk to her.”

Jelpax smirked as he watched Mortimus go. He nudged Ushas. “Think she’ll reject him?”

“Of course.” She nodded. “I sincerely hope not, though. It would be much more fun for us if he got dumped on the way home. At least then we would get to see him to something incredibly stupid first.”

Mortimus was unaware of the conversation going on behind him, fixated on the girl he was walking towards. He tapped her on the shoulder as soon as he got up next to her, then watched as she smiled and turned away from the two girls she was talking to. He was instantly charmed by her smile, which was just as beautiful as the rest of her.

“Hi, can I help you?” she asked. She didn’t seem to be bothered by his intrusion, which was a good start.

“Uh, yeah, um, I’m Mortimus,” he said. He waved lamely. “I was just wondering if you might want to go out with me sometime because you are really hot.”

The girl blushed and looked down at her shoes. She glanced over her shoulder to her friends, as if asking them what she should do. After a moment, she pulled a lock of her hair behind her ear and smiled again.

“Yeah,” she answered, giggling softly. “Yeah, that would be okay. When?”

“How about now?” He hadn’t meant for the date to be so soon, but he couldn’t take the words back once they had left his mouth. Luckily, she seemed pleased by the idea.

“Okay.” She nodded. “I’m Avalon, by the way.”

“That’s a great name.” He grinned, then took her by the arm and guided her down the hall. Avalon didn’t seem to care that she had ditched her friends, but Mortimus wasn’t that shallow. He walked right past Ushas and Jelpax as they paced down the hall, then pointed to Avalon as he got close to them, mouthing something that neither of them caught.

“How did he—?” Ushas couldn’t finish her sentence.

“Mind control,” Jelpax answered firmly. “It’s the only way.”

//

“Why are we back here already?” Theta asked, as they entered the room. The boys’ sleeping area was incredibly boring, as it was nothing but silver walls and black curtains, accented with a pale green tile floor.

“Because I need you to help me with my homework,” said Koschei. He reached under his bed and pulled out a stack of papers so high that Theta almost though it was a prank.

“What? You know my grades suck, Kos. What can I possibly do?”

“Nothing major. I just need you to proof-read this.” He held it out to Theta, who took a step back. “Come on, Thete. It’s not like I’m asking you to write it for me. I just want to make sure that there’s not a whole bunch of typos and stuff. You know, make sure that it all sounds good.”

“Um, no.” Theta shook his head. “I don’t proof-read.”

“Oh, come on.”

“No.”

“Why not?” Koschei stepped up to his friend and shoved the papers into his arms. “Just look it over once. It’ll be quick. I want an outside perspective on it. This is worth half of my grade!” He handed him a highlighter. “Please?”

Theta pushed the stuff back at him. “I said no, Kos. No.”

“Fine, just tell me why.”

“Because I need people to proof-read stuff for me! How am I supposed to fix your stuff if I can’t even fix my own?”

“Um, Thete?” Koschei rolled his eyes and waved the highlighter around in the air. “We all need someone to proof-read our stuff. That’s kind of the point of getting an outside perspective. If you do it yourself, then it ain’t coming from the outside.”

“Okay, well, get someone else’s outside perspective.”

“Why?”

“Because you don’t want mine!” Theta ran both of his hands through his dark blond hair, a distressed look on his face.

He raised an eyebrow. “Again, why?”

“Because, uh, because I’ll be too nice! I’m your best friend, so clearly I’m going to be incredibly biased, no matter what I would think if someone else had written it.”

“That’s just stupid.” Koschei made a face. “Come on, Thete.”

Theta sighed, tapping his foot against the floor nervously. Koschei pretended not to notice how uncomfortable his friend appeared to be. “Kos, my perspective is messed up, okay?” he said. “It’s all weird and confusing. No correction I give you will be worth anything.”

“All right, well, I don’t believe that. I think that you’re just trying to get out of helping me with my homework.”

“I am, but I’m doing it by telling you the truth.”

Koschei rolled his eyes. “It’s true that your perspective is all weird and mixed around?” He paused, scratching the side of his head and leaving his black hair slightly more messed up. “I guess that you are pretty weird, but it’s not like you’re an absolute freak, right? I mean, it’s not like you’re Lungin.” He wrinkled his nose. “Or Horlag.”

“God.” Theta shuddered. “I should hope not. No offense to his underground cult.”

“That’s what I said.” He smirked. “So, see? If you don’t help me, I’m going to have to ask someone like him for help and you know I don’t want to have to do that.”

“Fine, I’ll help you.”

“Really?”

“Yes! Just shut up about it, all right?”

Koschei smiled and pulled Theta into an embrace. “Okay. Thanks, Thete!”

“Yeah, whatever.”

//

Mortimus giggled as Avalon nibbled on his earlobe, tickling him. Ever since they had gotten together forty-seven minutes earlier, the pair were inseparable. At first, they were just talking, but then it evolved into holding hands, and finally into the sexy playing that they were doing at the lunch table.

That was why Jelpax was worried about what would happen if they were together for much longer. At their age, most people weren’t even that interested in a physical relationship, and if they wanted to have a relationship at all, it was probably just a little crush. Yet somehow, Mortimus seemed to have the sex drive of the main character in a low budget porno.

“Honestly, you two,” Ushas scoffed. She shook her head and turned away from the pair seated beside her. “Get a room.”

Drax, who was sitting across from her, was grinning like a toddler. “I don’t think they have to. I mean, don’t get me wrong, it’s disgusting, but the way they’re bothering you is hilarious.”

Jelpax smacked him upside the head. “Shut up, Drax. This is totally inappropriate behavior for lunch.”

“At our age,” said Ushas, “it is completely inappropriate behavior for any time, public or not.”

“True, true. Actually, I don’t think that we should really be engaging in this kind of behavior at all until we’ve graduated. After all, we’re really here to study. It’s not like we’re Patrexes.”

“What are you saying?” asked Drax. He crossed his arms, then narrowed his eyes.

“I’m saying that they are renowned for their outrageous parties and habit of knocking up schoolgirls. I mean, thank god I was born a Prydonian or I’d probably be stuck listening to drunken idiots wander around all night while I’m trying to study.”

“Or worse, you could be a Scendel.”

Jelpax shuddered at the thought. “You know what, let’s just stop talking about this, all right? If Mortimus wants to spend our trip being licked by some girl he’s just met, then we should let him. It’s not like it’s our problem.”

“It is my problem,” Ushas groaned. “I’m stuck sitting next to them!”

“So, get a new seat. Look, there’s one open next to Epsilon.” Jelpax gestured to the seat beside the rubbish bin, and Drax snorted. “I’m sure that he would love to sit with you.”

Ushas looked over and shook her head. Her friends were completely intolerable; all of them. They were almost as bad as the boring, lack of decor on the ship. Everything was just colored silver and titanium, and even though she knew that it was because of the materials’ heating and cooling ability, she still grew tired of the look very quickly.

“No. There is no way I’m going to sit with _him_ ,” she said, cocking her head in Epsilon’s direction. “I mean, look at him!” He was sitting with a group of people around him, two chips stuck into his nose like walrus rusks. “He’s an absolute idiot! How could you ever expect me to want to sit beside that?”

“It was a joke, Ushas,” said Jelpax. He threw his arms into the air in defense.

“Of course, it was,” she sneered, “because you are incapable of speaking without at least a smidgen of sarcasm or sass.”

He nodded. “Yeah, that’s about right.”

“Moron.”

“Yep, that too.”

“Anyway,” Drax interjected, as he spun the cap back onto his water bottle, “do you guys want to get out of here? If we stick around much longer, I think that we’ll be seeing a lot more than we want to.”

“Good idea,” said Ushas, pushing herself back from the table. “Let’s go.”

//

Rallon walked down the hallway on his own, glancing out of each window as he passed them. He didn’t know when they were going to land, but at least they would start doing some questionnaires and whatnot the next day. Then he wouldn’t be sitting around, bored out of his mind, while everyone else had something to do.

He looked for his friends but failed to find any of them. He thought he saw them in the dining hall, but when he went back to check, the only person he found was Mortimus. And, considering the fact that he had his tongue down some girl’s throat, Rallon didn’t really think that he was in the mood to hang out with one of his boring old friends.

As such, Rallon was walking around the ship, more bored than he’d ever been in his life. It was so bad that he almost considered going back to the boys’ dorms and getting ahead on his homework. That was, until someone ran up and grabbed him from behind.

“Ah!” he cried. “Oh, my god!”

He whipped around to see who had grabbed him, and to his pleasant surprise, Millennia was standing there. She was wearing her robes just like him, but her short blue hair was accented by a pastel headband.

“Hi,” she said, a sheepish smile breaking onto her face. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“No, you didn’t,” Rallon lied. In reality, he could still feel his hearts thumping against his chest. Millennia had absolutely terrified him. “I’m really glad that you’re here. I am so bored. Do you want to do something with me?”

“Sure. Burn down the library?”

Rallon laughed. “You heard the story, huh?”

“Drax told me.” She giggled, then paused and titled her head to the side. “Actually, Drax told me the story inaccurately and then Jelpax reiterated it the way that it really happened. Probably.”

“Yeah, sometimes they can both be a bit thick. I’ll tell you what, though. Never again will I do something so extremely dumb just because I’m bored. That was just plain stupid, to be honest.”

“It was.”

“So, _do_ you want to do something?” He glanced around the hall. “I’m not sure exactly what there is for us to do, but there has to be something, right? I heard there’s a a game room open from eight to ten. Maybe we could go check that out?”

“Yeah, that sounds like fun. You reckon they’ve got a billiards table?”

“I hope so.”

“I’ll destory you if they do.”

“You will not!”

“Yeah? Let’s go and see.” She latched into Rallon’s arm and dragged him down the hallway.

At that moment, he knew that it was going to be a good night.

//

Magnus turned over in his bed, hoping that if he adjusted himself into a more comfortable position, he would be able to beat his raging insomnia. Five minutes later he turned over again, attempting to find at least a semi-comfortable position in the horribly flat bed that he was being forced to sleep in. Oh, if only the field trip had been optional. He still would have ended up going, of course, but at least he would have had the option not to.

He scratched his arm as he rolled over for the umpteenth time. It was only then, when all other thoughts had left his mind, that it finally occurred to Magnus why it was that he could not fall asleep—he itched.

Anyone who knew Magnus at all knew that he hated anything and everything that made him itch. Well, actually, he hated everything that was even a little bit annoying, but things that made him itch annoyed him even more than anything else.

Magnus sat up and looked down at his arm. He expected to find a stray hair, or perhaps a light rash from the horrendous sheets that he had been forced to sleep upon, but instead he saw something that he would have never expected.

It was none other than a small, black, disgusting bed bug. In fact, there were several of them.

Moments after seeing them, Magnus leapt out of the bed and onto the floor. He wasn’t frightened by them, but rather disgusted at the lack of cleanliness in what was supposed to be a first-class traveling vessel. He would have expected the infestation on a Scendel-manufactured ship, or even a Cerulean one, but never _ever_ would he have thought to find a Prydonian creation that was anything less than perfect.

He knew that he was going to have to report them to the ship’s staff in the morning, but there was nothing that he could do to get rid of them that night. He had to either wake up right then (three hours too early) or find somewhere else to sleep. Magnus, of course, was not willing to stoop so low as to sleep anywhere besides a bed. He was a Prydonian, and it would be betrayal to sleep as a hobo.

After making his inevitable decision, Magnus got dressed and left the room. Surely there was something that he could do while everyone else was asleep.

//

“Oh, my _god_ ,” Drax whined. He threw his pencil down onto the paper, then ran a hand through his bangs. “Do you guys want to just ditch? I am bored out of my fucking skull.”

“Hm, let me think about that,” said Ushas, not turning around to look at him. “No.”

“Why not?”

“Probably because we actually care about our grades,” Jelpax suggested, glancing up at his friend. He pushed his glasses up on his nose, then turned back down to his papers. “You might want to try that sometime too,” he added.

Drax shook his head. “Nah, I have other things to do, you know? Why should I bother spending all of my time worrying about a stupid grade? It’s not like it’s going to matter in the long run. I mean, even if I pass this week, I’ll still probably fail next week anyway. It just takes too much time to study for everything, and I don’t get anything back.”

“It doesn’t take that long if you actually pay attention and at least make an attempt to process the information.”

“Yeah, see, that’s the problem,” he said. He attempted to lean back in his blue, plastic chair, but it would not lean, so he ended up slipping down instead. “I don’t process information well.” He grabbed the edges of the dark brown, wooden table and pulled himself back up.

“That’s probably because your brain has never had to process anything more complicated than sleazy innuendos,” said Ushas, still not looking up from the questionnaire in front of her.

Jelpax ignored her. “Come on, Drax. Just fill it out. It’s not like they’re even going to grade this. I mean, they’ll deduct points if you don’t write anything, but they aren’t going to judge you based on how much you know about the Medusa Cascade.”

“True.” Drax nodded. “Say, can I borrow your paper for a second?”

“Why?” he asked.

“Because I don’t know squat about the Medusa Cascade, and I want to copy your answers.”

“I hate you.”

Drax smiled. “I hate you too.”

“Can you two idiots either shut up or go somewhere else?” Ushas snapped. “Some of us—namely me—actually want to fill in this paper, as stupid as you seem to think it is. This field trip is part of our end of term grade, you know.”

“Really? So, like, if we don’t adequately participate in this dumbass field trip, then we’ll fail?”

Ushas nodded. “Yes. Both history and cosmic science.”

“So, is there any way to goof off and not fail?”

“Yes. If you have perfect scores in both classes already, then there’s a very slim chance that you’ll be able to get away with it.”

“What if you’re currently failing?”

“Then you’re screwed.”

Drax stretched his arms out in front of him and cracked his knuckles. “Well then,” he said, “I suddenly, for no particular reason, feel as if I would like to fill out this questionnaire.”

He picked up his pencil and pretended not to hear Jelpax snickering as he began to fill out his page.

//

“Hey, Thete?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I talk to you about that proof-reading you did?”

Theta placed his book down onto his lap, taking his time to slip in a bookmark. He wasn’t particularly interested in continuing with his homework, he just wanted to stall the incoming conversation for as long as he could.

“Sure,” he answered. He silently prayed that Koschei had only good things to say about it. “Did it help you out at all?”

“Oh, yeah, totally.” Koschei nodded, then sat down at the foot of Theta’s uncomfortable, silver bed. He had brought his deep blue blanket which sat on top of it, making the flat bed just a little bit fluffier. “It was a big help. You caught some really stupid mistakes. Like that continuity error? God, it would have been so embarrassing to turn that in!”

He laughed. “Yeah, it really would have.”

“Yeah. Anyway—” Theta gulped. That wasn’t the end? “—I wanted to ask; did you mean to make all of these typos?”

“What?” He sat up quickly, then snatched the slim stack of papers out of Koschei’s hands. He scanned it over quickly and noticed that he had indeed made several typos. Theta sighed, then dropped the paper down onto the bed and closed his eyes, running a hand over his face. “Wow, I did make a lot of typos, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, that’s why I brought it up.”

“Sorry about that. I was probably just thinking faster than I could write. You could still tell what it all said though, yeah?”

“Mm hm. I told you it was good, didn’t I?”

“Right. Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize,” said Koschei, giving him an odd look. “It’s not like you did anything wrong.” He furrowed his brow. “Hey, are you okay? You seem nervous.”

Theta twiddled his thumbs. “Yeah, I’m fine. I’m not nervous at all. I just wanted to make sure that you got all of the help that you needed on your paper.”

“Oh, okay. Well, I did, so thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”

Koschei smiled. Theta did not.

“You want to go raid the game room?” asked Koschei.

“No.” Theta shook his head. “It’s not even open yet.”

“Hence why I want to go now. We can do anything we want and there’s no idiots around to make us go faster.”

He shrugged and stood up. “All right. Let’s go.”

//

“God, Avalon,” said Mortimus, “you are incredible.”

“Thanks.” She smiled, showing off her perfectly straight, white teeth. “You’re not,” she said nonchalantly, “but you’re pretty hot and a good kisser, so I like you anyway.”

“Cool.” Mortimus grinned to himself, hoping that Avalon would come over and lie down beside him. He had been going out with her for almost twenty-three hours at that point; if he didn’t scare her off within the next four hours, he was going to have a new record. “So, do you want to like, go eat or something? Or we could make out again and this time I could do your buttons?”

Avalon rolled her hazel eyes playfully. “Yeah, right. I already told you that you’re not getting past the second one, dork.”

“Whatever.” Mortimus giggled, then reached over to wrap an arm around her. He kissed her neck lightly, and she pushed him away.

“Come on, Mortimus. We can’t just keep making out the entire time. Look, I’ll catch up with you later, okay? I’m going to go hang out with my friends for a bit.”

“What? Why?”

“Um, because they still exist?” she giggled. “Look, babe, I spent the whole morning with you. Can’t I just see my friends for a little bit?”

“I guess so. Just try not to forget that I exist, okay?”

Avalon laughed. “Okay.” She pecked his lips and pulled her robes over her head. If she was going to be leaving the recreation room, she would need to be wearing them. No student could walk the halls of the ship without being in their full uniform.

Mortimus sighed as he watched Avalon leave the room. Even though he’d only known her for just less than a day, he already knew that she was going to be his number one girlfriend. She would be his top priority, even if he found someone else who was hotter. Because, even if they were better-looking, no one could compete with the heat between him and Avalon.

“Please,” he whispered to the ceiling, “don’t let me screw this up.”

//

“What the hell?”

Ushas glanced over at Drax, who was holding a paper out in front of him, twisting it around to inspect it at every angle. After a few moments of staring, he dropped his arm, and the paper, down to his side.

“Ushas,” he began, “I thought you said…”

“Thought I said what?” she asked. Whether he was talking praise or smack, she wanted to know about it.

“That I couldn’t fail this!”

Ushas took a step back when Drax shoved his paper into her face. It was the questionnaire he had filled out, now with a giant, red ‘0%’ stamped on the top of it. Her jaw dropped as she verified it.

“But it’s not even an assignment. They don’t grade these. They can’t. I mean, they wouldn’t. I mean, how?!”

Drax shrugged. “Beat me. I certainly didn’t ask to get a fail on it.”

“Your lack of knowledge must be absolutely appalling for you to actually get that kind of a response. Did they say anything else to you? Or ask you to redo it?”

“Uh, no!” He rolled his eyes, as if that bit of information should have been completely obvious to her. “Does it look like I got a chance to redo it?”

“No.” Ushas crossed her arms. “You don’t have to be so rude about it, though. I was just curious, seeing as you constantly screw up things by rejecting offers exactly like the one that I’ve just mentioned.”

“Rejecting offers? That’s not true about me at all. I do not reject offers. No one even ever offers me anything in the first place.”

“What do you mean no one ever offers you anything?” She scoffed and shook her head. “Drax, when people tell you that you can do something like retake a test, that’s an offer. An offer that you always choose to reject because you are a complete moron.”

Drax narrowed his eyes. “If I got the offer to retake a test that I failed, why would I ever turn it down?”

“Beats me.” She shrugged. “Just go ask them if you can get a new grade, all right? Remind them that it isn’t even supposed to be graded. They’ll probably fix it if you threaten to expose them.”

“Or I’ll get detention for threats.”

“That could happen too.”

“Whatever. I’m just going to talk to them.” He started to walk away, then whipped around suddenly and pointed his paper at her accusingly. “But if I get detention,” he snapped, “I’m blaming you!”

Ushas was about to agree with him, to tell him that she didn’t care, but he was walking back the other direction before she even had a chance to open her mouth. It didn’t really matter to her. Whether he got detention or not, he was still going to fail the field trip, and consequently, two of his classes.

//

Koschei snatched the chalk away from Theta before he could write anything on the scoreboard.

“Hold up, Mr. Typos,” he said, spinning around to avoid his grip. “I don’t trust you to spell my name correctly.”

For the first time since they broke into the game room an hour earlier, the look on Theta’s face was anything but amused. “I’m not an idiot, Kos. I can spell your name.”

He reached out to grab the chalk, but Koschei slid away from him again, a mischievous grin on his face. Theta didn’t follow him this time but crossed his arms and watched in bitter silence as he slid back over to the generic scoreboard plastered above one of the wooden chess tables.

“It’s all right, I can handle this.”

Theta didn’t try to fight it when Koschei wrote down their names, but not one inch of him was pleased about it either. The only redeeming fact about the situation was that Theta played more chess than Koschei, and he was sure that he would be able to win more times.

Assuming he didn’t kill Koschei and/or break something, that is.

//

Rallon tapped Drax on the shoulder as he walked by. “Hey, have you seen Millennia?” he asked.

Drax brushed off the spot that Rallon had touched, as if he had left something on his robes. “No. She’s not _my_ girlfriend.”

“She’s not my—I mean, Drax!” A furiously red blush appeared on Rallon’s cheeks. He slapped Drax teasingly, but it came out slightly stunted, as he wasn’t used to interacting with other people that way. “She’s not my girlfriend.”

“Right, sure. Anyway, you’re the one who should really be keeping track of your own almost-girlfriend.”

He shook his head slightly. “All right, you can call her that once you have an almost-girlfriend. Right now, just call her Millennia.”

“Okay.” Drax smiled mischievously. “I’ll have a girlfriend soon enough anyway,” he said. “You know that they all think I’m super cute and stuff. I think that it’s probably because of my hair.” He ran a pale hand through his fluffy, light brown bangs dramatically.

His hand was slapped down with slight force. “Draxina, those bangs are the reason that girls _won’t_ go out with you,” said Magnus, stopping beside his friends.

“‘Draxina’?” Drax raised an eyebrow. “You know that’s not my name.”

“It is until you tell us what comes after that last ‘n’.”

“Whatever. You’re just bitter because you know that your problem is also with your hair, Maggie.”

“Fuck you.”

“Fuck _you_.”

Magnus rolled his eyes. “What are you guys doing?” he asked.

“I’m looking for Millennia,” said Rallon, “and I think that I’d better get back to the hunt. Bye.” He gave them only a small wave before taking off down the hallway. He did not want to get involved in their fighting.

Drax cringed when he realized that he was left alone with Magnus. He took a step back, but was unable to move any further, because Magnus had reached out and gripped the front of his robes tightly, pulling him backwards.

“Come here,” he said. “I need you for something.”

“What?” asked Drax, trying to keep his voice from shaking. He knew that he wasn’t in immediate danger by being alone with Magnus, but still, even though none of them would ever admit to it, nobody who knew Magnus wanted to be stuck alone with him.

“Bait. Come on.” He whipped Drax around so that they were standing beside each other and kept a grip on his arm as they walked to wherever Magnus was taking him.

//

“Hey, Rallon.” Jelpax waved to him as he walked by, then turned around and adjusted his pace to match his friend’s. “Have you seen Ushas anywhere?”

“No.” Rallon shook his head. “Have you seen Millennia?”

“Yeah. She’s in the dining hall. I just talked to her.”

“Cool, thanks.” Without another word, Rallon turned away and took off down the corridor towards the dining hall. Jelpax threw his hands up in defeat. He gave Rallon the perfect solution to his problem, and he was still abandoned without any help to solve his own problem.

He’d been searching for Ushas since early that morning and he was starting to think that he was never going to find her. In fact, he was wondering if she decided to ignore him again.

Not knowing what else to do, Jelpax sent Ushas yet another message, hoping that she wouldn’t ignore that one.

It was just over an hour later when he decided that she was, in fact, ignoring him. She had disregarded another one of his texts and didn’t respond to any of his calls. Clearly, she did not understand how urgent it was that he spoke to her. He needed to get in touch with her or else they were both going to fail their assignments. Why, oh why did he have to be assigned Ushas for a study partner?

“Theta! Have you seen—”

“Leave me alone!” Theta cried. He darted right past Jelpax and continued down the hallway. Clearly someone was having a bad day.

Jelpax sighed. He felt that it was time for him to give up. No matter what he did, there was no way that he was going to find Ushas in time to get the information that he needed. It was too late, and he already wasted too much time. At that point, it would be better for him to fudge it and just act like the information had come from her.

When he spotted Koschei walking down the hall, Jelpax also saw his last hope. Koschei was the only person that he hadn’t asked about Ushas yet.

“Koschei!” he called. His friend slowed down to stand beside him. “Koschei, have you seen Ushas anywhere?”

“No.” He looked past Jelpax, as if he was looking for someone else. He seemed to be bothered by Jelpax’s appearance, as if he was making him late for an important meeting. “Did Theta come through here?” he asked.

“Yeah.” Jelpax nodded, piecing things together in his mind. “Oh, was it you who made him upset?”

“Kind of.”

“Oh. Well then fuck you, bitch.”

“Thanks, I really needed that right now.” Koschei rolled his eyes. “Just tell me which way he went, Jel. I’ve really got to figure this out.” Jelpax jabbed a thumb in the direction that he had seen Theta take off in. “Thanks,” he said, before heading off down the same path.

And so, with that one simple ‘no’, Jelpax’s final lead was gone. His last chance was to check every lecture hall and peer out of every window. If no one knew where Ushas was, then she had to be somewhere on her own, studying the Medusa Cascade.

He had pretty much been expecting that from the beginning, since she was so excited to get going on the learning aspect of the field trip. Ushas, as per usual, was the only person who was actually happy to be there. At that point, as they closed in on one of the moons, she was probably running around trying to see everything.

That was exactly why Jelpax didn’t want to look for her. No matter how fast he moved, there was too much ground to cover. He was probably going to have to search for days.

//

Koschei slowed his pace down when the soft sound of crying filled his ears. He couldn’t quite tell _where_ the sound was coming from, but he did know exactly _who_ it was coming from—Theta.

He hadn’t meant to upset his friend; he was only joking around. He didn’t think that his teasing would bother Theta, since he too seemed to think that his spelling errors were humorous the day before. It made no sense to him, how one minute they were just joking around whilst repairing the games they broke the day before, and the next minute Theta was running away from him, shouting something about his best friend mocking his weaknesses.

Unable to listen to the crying without doing anything, Koschei turned around in circles, eventually coming to a stop when he approached a closed door to his left. He pushed it open slowly, then cringed slightly when the sobs became louder.

The closet was tiny and dark. It was so small and empty that it was as if it were there only for people to hide in. It wasn’t, of course, since no Prydonian (the makers of the ship) had much compassion, but still, the tiny space gave off that impression.

“Thete?” He looked down to the floor in front of him, where his best friend was sitting, his knees pulled up to his chest. His face was buried in his knees and he wouldn’t look up, clearly ignoring Koschei’s presence. “Theta, look at me.”

Koschei sat down on the floor beside him, then gently placed a hand on Theta’s shoulder. “Theta, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have gotten so stupid about it.”

“Yeah,” said Theta, muffled slightly by his knees, “you shouldn’t have.”

“I just—” He sighed as he tried to find the right words. “I thought that you wrote it like that because you wanted to mess with me after I was begging you to help me with it. I didn’t realize that you had actually messed it up so bad.”

“Stop saying that.”

“Stop saying what?”

Theta looked up at him, and even in the dark, Koschei could tell that his hazel eyes were wide and brimming with tears. “Stop saying that I messed it up. I got it close enough for you to figure out, yeah?”

“Yeah. Yeah, you did. I’m sorry.”

Koschei’s words had no effect on Theta. He turned away, and ran a hand through his blond hair, consequently messing it up even worse. Theta rested his arms on his knees and laid his head down on them, his gaze turned away from Koschei.

“Thete, I’m really sorry,” said Koschei. “Please, please just talk to me.”

“No.”

“Ha, you talked to me!” He clapped a hand over his mouth as soon as the words were spoken, knowing instantly that he had said the wrong thing.

“You’re an idiot.”

“I know, Thete. I’m so sorry.”

Theta attempted to shake his head, but he was halted by his knees. “No, you’re not. You don’t even know what you’re sorry for.”

“You’re right,” Koschei agreed bitterly, “because you won’t tell me.”

“What do you mean I won’t tell you?” he snapped, lifting his head to look up at Koschei.

“You're getting stupidly offended because I commented on a few errors. There's something more to it that you aren't telling me, and I want to know what.”

“There isn't! I just got mad because you kept bringing it back up instead of forgetting about it. There is no other reason. I just wanted you to stop talking about it!”

Koschei narrowed his eyes. “You liar.”

“I’m not lying.”

“You’re always lying.”

“Okay, while that is true,” said Theta, “I’m actually not lying this time.”

“Yeah? Well, I’m starting to think that this is all some kind of elaborate prank.” Koschei shook his head slowly, trying to make sense of the situation. He was tired of Theta beating around the bush and he wanted some real answers for once. “Do you secretly hate me or something?”

There was a long silence before Theta answered the question. He was looking down at his feet, his eyes looking straight forwards as if he was deep in thought. It bothered Koschei that Theta even had to consider the answer to this question. If he were asked the same question, Koschei would have said ‘no’ before the words were even completely spoken.

“No.” The word was quiet when Theta finally said it, but it was not unsure. He sounded completely confident in his answer, despite how long it had taken him to say it. Maybe he had been thinking about something else, like whether or not he wanted to elaborate on the question? Koschei knew that he was being optimistic by thinking such a thing, but it made him feel slightly better.

“Of course not,” Theta continued. “You’re my best friend, you know? I don’t hate you. I just don’t want to talk to you right now and I don’t want to talk about those stupid mistakes that I made.”

“I know, and I’m sorry.” Koschei sighed, struggling to find the right words. “I just didn’t realize that it was such a big deal to you.”

“Well, it is.”

Koschei drummed his fingers on his leg. “If you don’t mind me asking,” he said, “why?”

“You know why.”

“No, I don’t.”

“Yeah, you do. You know exactly why.” Theta lifted his head and leaned back against the wall behind them. “We were sitting in psychology a few months back, remember? Everyone had to present a discussion on a type of disorder, so we were learning about some of them. About halfway through, Professor Borusa was talking about one, and you just turned towards me with the weirdest look on your face. You didn’t say anything to me, but I knew that you got it. I knew you connected the dots; you just didn’t want to embarrass me or something.”

Koschei knew what he was talking about as soon as he mentioned psychology class. He’d been ignoring it, as it had never really been an issue between them before, and he knew that Theta wouldn’t have wanted to talk about it. He had pushed back the idea for so long that he nearly forgot that it existed at all.

Theta sighed, avoiding Koschei’s gaze as he went on. “I’m not upset because you made a joke, Kos. It was absolutely joke worthy. I’m upset because you’re my best friend, and instead of supporting me, you keep poking at my worst qualities. How would you feel if I mocked your drumming? Or forced you to tell someone about it, even though it makes you horribly uncomfortable? Yeah, it’s awful being betrayed. You’re all I really have, and it hurts when you throw things in my face like that, no matter what your intentions were.”

And, more than ever, Koschei felt like an absolute piece of shit. Because, obviously, his best friend was right. Aside from the Deca, neither of them had much of anything, and Koschei himself was contributing to the negativity Theta already heard from so many other sources. The negativity that _he_ already heard from so many people. Even though he couldn’t say it, Koschei vowed to himself that he would at some point change his ways.

He took a deep breath, then looked at Theta, his bright blue eyes staring straight through him. “I’m sorry.”

Theta only shrugged in response.

//

Jelpax was heading back to the dorms when he heard the strange sounds coming from one of the doors to the cargo bay. It was not just the sound of thudding and thumping around that alerted him, but also muffled speaking. No, muffled _screaming_.

He stepped right up to the door, then positioned himself sideways and leaned against it to put his ear as close to the sound as he could. It didn’t help him as much as he was hoping it would, so he took a step back. No matter how close he got, he couldn’t hear anything better. He needed something to magnify his hearing, like a glass. Unfortunately, the dining hall had been locked up hours ago, and he had no other place to get a glass from, so that plan was a bust.

Jelpax knew that he needed a new plan, since the only drinking vessel he had access to at the moment was a plastic bottle, but the only ideas he could come up with instantly backfired on him. If there was a skeleton key for the ship then that would open it, but he wouldn’t know where to find it. Same problem with the regular key. He could tell someone and ask them to open it, but then there was always the risk that he wasn’t supposed to know what was in there. It could be something top secret and they were using the field trip as a cover-up to transport it. Prydonians were sneaks like that.

Once he had gotten past his abundance of problematic ideas and various conspiracy theories, Jelpax moved forwards to thinking of a rational plan. He would have to find out if someone had been captured, and the only way to do that was to ask.

He pounded on the door a couple of times to get the prisoner’s attention, then spoke. “Hello?” he said awkwardly. “Are you all right?”

Jelpax got only two muffled screams in response. They seemed to come from different people, and he leaned in closer, as if it would help him hear better. Even if they were muffled, he was nearly positive that he recognized the voices.

“Ushas?” he asked. “Is that you?” He paused to listen to the unintelligible response. “And… Epsilon?” he added, furrowing his brow.

Jelpax heard a loud clatter after he said that, and he knew that he must have been right. But if they were stuck in there, not only did he need to get them out because they were stuck, he needed to get them out so that he could get some answers. How did they get in there? What happened? His curiosity was soaring through the roof.

“Jelpax? What are you doing?”

He whipped around to see who spoke and found Mortimus standing there; an extremely confused expression on his face.

“Trying to get this door open,” he answered. “What are you doing?”

“Looking for Avalon.” Mortimus shrugged lamely. “She ditched me a couple of hours ago.”

Jelpax nodded. “Well, it was only a matter of time.”

“What? It’s not like we broke up. She just wanted to spend some time with her friends.”

“Oh. Well, you still know that it isn’t going to last, right?”

“Why wouldn’t it last?” He frowned.

“Because your relationships never last,” Jelpax deadpanned. “Face it, Mort, you’re creepy.”

“No, I’m— Borusa!”

Jelpax spun around to look the same way that Mortimus was facing. Sure enough, Borusa was standing at the end of the hall, approaching them slowly. Mortimus looked like he wanted to run, but Jelpax was frozen in his place as he glanced down at his watch to see whether they had broken curfew.

He didn’t get a chance to check before the ship suddenly lurched and all three of them were swept off their feet.


	17. The Medusa Cascade pt. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drax and Jelpax rescue Ushas. Mortimus breaks up with his girlfriend. The Deca explores a moon.

“We are now arriving on the fifteenth broken moon of the Medusa Cascade. Please stay in your designated sleeping areas until the green light flashes.”

Ushas groaned. They were finally going to be doing something worth attending, _and_ landing somewhere, and she wasn’t going to see it. Why? Because she was tied up and locked in a storage room with only Epsilon to keep her company.

It hadn’t been too bad at first, once they got past the attempted screaming, as they mostly just sat in silence. At that point, however, Ushas was listening to the same humming that hadn’t stopped in nearly an hour. Epsilon found that although he could not talk, he was still able to hum, and thus he decided to do that to keep himself occupied.

The activity also kept Ushas occupied, as she spent her time being angry at Epsilon and wondering how should could possibly get him to shut up. It had kept her from panicking for a while, but eventually she just got bored again.

She almost thought that they were saved a few hours earlier, when Jelpax showed up outside the door. However, Mortimus came over too—and Professor Borusa not long after that, from what she could hear through the wall—and after that, they had all gone off somewhere, and she lost all hope of an escape. All she could do then was hope that Jelpax wouldn’t forget they were in there. Well, maybe he could forget about Epsilon. Ushas was certainly tired of him, and she knew that Jelpax never liked him anyway, so if they just untied her and left him behind, a weight would be lifted from both of their shoulders!

“Hmm hmmmmm hmm hmm hmmmmm,” Epsilon hummed, tapping out a beat with his fingers against the wooden armrest. “Hmm _hmmmmmmmmm_!”

Ushas attempted to elbow his chair, but she was just too far away from him to do so. It was agonizing to her, as all she wanted to do was punch him in the stomach. He had been humming for so long that she was convinced that he was doing it just to annoy her. It was probably some kind of stupid game to him, like he thought that he was being funny or something. Idiot.

She tried her hardest to ignore him and looked straight ahead to the door in front of her, hoping that Jelpax was going to come back for her. He was probably the only person in the Deca who even came close to her intelligence, and that meant that he was truly her only hope. The only problem was that Jelpax was incredibly book smart, and probably lacked the street smarts to untie her and sneak her out.

Growing more and more bored and anxious by the moment, Ushas began tapping her fingers in a rhythm, which Epsilon seemed to take as encouragement. He adjusted his own tapping and humming so that it would match up with her beat, creating a monstrous song. It annoyed Ushas even more than the regular humming had, and she went from mad to fuming. If Epsilon knew what she was thinking, he would not have continued to hum. He would be very, very scared of her.

Ushas suddenly found herself regretting her decision not to get too far ahead on the mind control part of their studies. They still had a few decades until that came up, but she had considered delving into it a few weeks prior to the field trip. She had, however, decided not to, as she had some other things that she was much more interested in.

That was the worst decision of her entire life.

If she _had_ learned mind control, then she could have forced Epsilon to stop, and maybe even make him do something to get her out. In fact, she might have been able to stop whoever it was that caught them in the first place.

If only she had been walking on her own. She was sure that whoever took them only brought him as an accessory because he had seen what he shouldn’t have, not because they actually wanted him. He was far too stupid for anyone to kidnap.

That, or Epsilon was in some kind of crazy person cult and _she_ was the accessory. That was highly unlikely, though. Epsilon was a little bit weird, but he probably wasn’t in a cult.

Ushas shook the thought out of her mind and turned her attention back to the door. There had to be some way to break free and get to it, she just had to figure out how to do it. So, she took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and began to think.

//

“We are now arriving on the fifteenth broken moon of the Medusa Cascade. Please stay in your designated sleeping areas until the green light flashes.”

Drax took a step back from his place beside Magnus’s bed. “Well,” he said, “uh, this isn’t my designated sleeping area, so I’d really better go.”

“No.” Magnus grabbed Drax by the forearm, stopping him from making his great escape. “You’re not going anywhere until we’re finished.”

“But the computer lady said—!”

“I’m pretty sure that she was referring to the room, Drax. Not the beds.”

He ripped out of Magnus’s grasp, pleased that he was able to break free for once. “No, she definitely meant the beds. I have to go now. You know, to the other side of the room?” He chuckled nervously and pointed over to the bed that he claimed. “Okay, bye.”

“Drax.” For some reason that he could not explain, Drax turned back around. “Come on. It’s not like I’m asking you to kill someone. I just need some help getting rid of these stupid bed bugs.”

“I—I know. I just don’t want to help you.”

Magnus said nothing for several seconds, but Drax felt frozen in place as his face was searched for any sort of clue that could give away what he was thinking about. Despite his efforts, Magnus found nothing except for the lingering expression of fear and anxiety that always seemed to be etched into Drax’s face when Magnus spoke to him.

“Why don’t you like me?” he asked finally. The question was not asked with any trace of emotion aside from curiosity.

“What?” Drax furrowed his brow. “What are you talking about?”

“Every time that we’re alone or I directly talk to you, you get all nervous.”

He looked away. “No.”

“You’re doing it right now. Why?” Magnus demanded. Drax didn’t respond. “If you tell me, I might let you go.”

Drax looked down at his feet, his eyes darting back and forth between them. He was clearly searching for something to say, an adequate answer to provide, but whatever the truth was, he didn’t want to say. Though Magnus kept a straight face, he was laughing on the inside. It was more than a little bit likely that Drax was secretly afraid of him, just like so many other people were, and he was ready to hear him admit to it.

However, once Drax finally looked back up and responded to him, he didn’t say that at all. In fact, he said something that Magnus never would have expected, and had no idea how to react to.

“You—You remind me of my mum,” he said quietly.

Magnus was so surprised by the response that he had no idea what he was supposed to say and instead stood there silently. What was Drax even referring to? Was that why he didn’t like him, or was he talking about the way that Magnus was being pushy?

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked eventually.

Drax didn’t hesitate. “I don’t want to talk about it,” he answered. “Can I go now?”

“No.”

“But you said—”

“I said that I _might_ let you go. I didn’t say that I would.”

“Dammit!” Drax cried. He sighed and ran a hand down his face. “All right, well, just make it quick, okay?”

After his revelation, Drax seemed to be incredibly bothered, much more so than he had been before. He was no longer just bored and unwilling to help, he seemed genuinely uncomfortable, as if stopping to talk had made it even worse. That somewhat amused Magnus, as he still wasn’t going to let Drax go anywhere. His reluctance was only going to make the job more entertaining.

“We have to, you moron,” said Magnus. “The lights are going to go out in like an hour. We don’t have time to mess around anyway.”

“Well, good then.” Drax nodded once, firmly, as if he was trying to make it seem as if he had gotten his way. However, the fact remained that Magnus had made the final decision and Drax was bowing down to his will.

“Take this,” Magnus commanded. He tossed a can of bug spray at him.

Drax barely caught it, attempting to hide the slight shake of his hands by switching the side he held it in. “What do you want me to do with this?” he asked.

“Be the bait. Haven’t I told you that already? Moron.”

He shrugged. Drax had known Magnus for long enough that his words almost never hurt anymore. By that point, he was so used to Magnus insulting him at every opportunity that it no longer had any effect on him. Even when he expected to be offended, he wasn’t. He had simply built up an immunity to Magnus.

“What am I the bait for? I forgot.”

“Bed bugs,” Magnus snapped. “Pretty sure that someone planted them here.”

“Any guesses as to whom that might be?” asked Drax.

“No. Everyone hates me, so that’s one hell of a list of suspects.”

He nodded. “True.”

“Yeah.” Magnus sighed. “Well, let’s get on with it then. Three, two, one… spray!”

//

“I mean, it’s like, maybe she doesn’t even want to be with me anymore. Do you think that’s what happened? Do you think that she stopped loving me?”

Jelpax took a deep breath. “Mort, I don’t think that she ever loved you in the first place. She’s known you for all of two days. She can’t have possibly developed that kind of emotional bond yet. It just doesn’t happen that way.”

“Please.” Mortimus scoffed. “If you saw the way she was acting around me the day we met, you’d believe it. It was a little bit less exuberant yesterday, but it was still pretty amazing.”

“Really?” His voice was filled with sarcasm and disbelief. “Well, if it was just that great, then I wonder why she ditched you.”

He shrugged and kicked a piece of trash that was on the floor. “She said that she wanted to go hang out with her friends. I think that’s total bull and she probably has another man, but that’s what she said.” He sighed. “I don’t know, do you think that I’m over-analyzing it?”

“Mortimus,” said Jelpax, “you always over-analyze everything. This is absolutely no exception. Now, if you would like to go back to your room to think about it even more and leave me alone without your distracting blathering, that would brilliant.”

“Okay.” Without a moment of hesitation, Mortimus turned around and headed back to the boys’ dormitory, leaving Jelpax on his own. Thank goodness for that; at least he would have a little bit of time to think before he made it to the cargo holds.

Jelpax hadn’t wanted to leave Ushas and Epsilon locked in that room all night long, but he ended up having to, as he had no opportunities to sneak out of the dorm. Every time that he tried to, there was someone patrolling the halls, and it seemed absolutely useless to try and figure out their patterns because as much as he wanted to, they seemed to be nonexistent.

Once he was finally out of the room, Jelpax had come up with a small plan, but it wasn’t a very good one. He knew that he wouldn’t have much time, since he needed to get them out before the morning’s orientation was finished. While everyone was in there, he could go unnoticed, but afterward people would be in the corridors, and someone would catch him trying to break into the room for certain. It was unfortunate, but true.

As it was, Jelpax needed some backup so that he could try and break in, and there was only one person that he trusted to go along with his plans and do whatever he needed. That was why when he sent his recruitment message, he sent it to Drax.  


**ME: Come to the south hall. Bring your welding kit.**  


For the first time that he could remember, Drax did not respond to Jelpax’s message right away, but instead waited a few minutes. When his message finally came through, it was exactly what Jelpax had expected.  


**DRAX: k. where is that?**

**DRAX: also, how did u know that i brought that??**

**ME: Intuition. I’ve known u since u were eight darling**

**ME: Also turn right twice when you leave the dorms**

**DRAX: k.**  


Several minutes later, Drax turned up at Jelpax’s side. He came quite slow compared to what Jelpax had been expecting from him, and he made a point of saying so. Drax simply shrugged in response.

“I had to find this,” he said, holding up the welding kit.

“Not true,” Jelpax countered. “You only have one bag, Drax. It couldn’t have been anywhere else.”

“Right. Well, if you really want to know, I had to get away from Magnus.”

“Magnus?” He could feel the twisted expression on his face, and he didn’t bother getting rid of it. He probably felt more confused than he looked, no matter how puzzled his expression was. “But you hate Magnus. Why were you hanging out with Magnus?”

Drax shrugged again. “He kidnapped me and turned me into his bait slave.” He didn’t bother waiting for Jelpax to speak before he went on. “It was a bed bug thing, you know, which escalated into an all nighter... Yeah, really long story.”

“Yeah, it seems so. Anyway, we don't have time to be worrying about that right now. Ushas is probably in there bitching about us because we're just standing out here doing nothing.”

“What?” He furrowed his brow. “What are we supposed to be doing? Why is Ushas in there?”

“I don't know. All I do know is that we need to get her and Epsilon out of there before they die or something.”

He laughed. “Epsilon is in there too? And you were wondering why I was hanging out with Magnus? Wow, mate! You should have been trying to figure out what Ushas is doing having Epsilon within a mile of her.”

Even though Drax seemed to think he was the funniest person alive, Jelpax did not find his words to be amusing. “I’m being serious here, Drax. We need to get them and then we can worry about the why and what happened.”

“If you say so.” He crossed his arms and nodded towards the door. “So, does that mean you want me to weld the door open or what?”

“No, I’m not sure that would work. You know, since welding is for putting stuff together and all.”

Drax rolled his eyes. “I know. I was being sarcastic. Are we going to blow the door down or something?”

“That would completely demolish the door, Drax,” said Jelpax. “We just need to get it open.”

“How?”

“I don’t know.”

As soon as the words left his mouth, a muffled scream was let out inside of the room.

“Uh oh,” said Drax, clutching his robes near his chest. “I think we upset the wicked witch!”

Jelpax sighed deeply. “I don’t know why I tolerate you,” he said. “You are unbelievable.”

“Come on, Pax. I know that you secretly love me.” He started to creep an arm around his friend jokingly, but Jelpax slapped him away. He did not have time for hugs, nor did he want one. “Or not,” said Drax dejectedly, rubbing his hand where Jelpax had swatted it.

“Look, Drax, I’ve got an idea, but I need you to listen and I need you to have a very, very open mind, okay?”

“You know that my mind is always open. I’ll basically believe anything that you tell me.” He smiled.

“Now that’s just stupid. If I told you that Ushas failed a test you wouldn’t believe me.” He received an unexpected squeal from inside of the room and what sounded like a muffled laugh.

“Yeah, I would.”

Jelpax was so confused by his response that he nearly forgot about the task at hand. “What? Why? That’s the most unbelievable thing in the world.”

Drax shrugged. “I trust you,” he said.

“Oh. Well then, listen to me now.”

As soon as he was certain that they weren’t going to devolve into another stupid conversation, Jelpax explained the plan that he had come up with, hoping that it didn’t sound too insane to Drax. Luckily for him, it didn’t. In fact, Drax seemed to think that it was a perfectly normal plan and would work out just fine.

“Okay,” said Drax, “give me ten minutes, thirty-nine rubber bands, and something that’ll explode.”

“I would ask what you’re going to do, but I don’t want to. Ushas probably has that stuff in her bag. Go get it.”

Drax’s jaw dropped. “What?”

“What’s the problem? She’s not going to mind you taking two things to save her. Right, Ushas?” Jelpax knocked once on the door and received a muffled agreement. “See?”

“It’s not because of her. It’s—It’s the _girls’ dormitory_.”

“So?”

“I’m not a girl!”

Jelpax rolled his eyes. “Drax, no one is even in there. They’re all at orientation. Just go.”

“Uh, okay.” Drax backed away slowly, not turning around until he was several feet away from Jelpax.

As he watched his friend walk away, Jelpax found himself impressed by Drax’s reluctance to go into the girls’ dorm. Normally he seemed boundless, but clearly, he had retained some common sense and respect, since he didn’t want to cross his boundaries on the girls’ space. Apparently, he wasn’t so terribly intrusive after all.

It was during that thought that Jelpax suddenly found the flaw in his logic. Drax _was_ that terribly intrusive, which meant that there was almost definitely some other reason that he wouldn’t go into the girls’ dorm.

 _Oh well_ , he thought. _He probably just respects women like a decent person._

//

“Avalon! Thank Rassilon I’ve finally found you!”

Mortimus flung his arms around her and held on tightly. Even though it had only been a little over fifteen hours, Mortimus felt as if he hadn’t seen Avalon in years. As soon as he looked up into her eyes, however, he realized that she did not feel the same way. In fact, she appeared to be angry at him, if he was reading her expression correctly, and Mortimus never read an expression wrong.

“Mortimus!” she snapped, yanking out of his grip. “What the hell are you doing?”

“Um, I’m hugging you. Is there a problem with that?”

“Uh, yeah!” Avalon scoffed. She stumbled backwards and rolled her eyes, crossing her arms against her chest. “Did you not notice that all of my friends are here?” She gestured to the group of girls behind her. “You’re acting like an idiot and you’re embarrassing me in front of everybody!”

“Not everybody.”

“Yes, everybody. We’re in the lecture hall, Mortimus. Everyone is here for orientation. They’re all staring at us now and until Professor Azmael shows up, they aren’t going to stop. Get away from me.”

He did as he was told and took a step back, though he didn’t understand it. “What? Why?”

“Why do you think, you idiot?!”

“I don’t know.” He shrugged, and the look in his dark brown eyes was nothing short of completely innocent and concerned.

“Because you’ve utterly embarrassed me!” Avalon cried. “Not to mention the fact that you’ve practically been _stalking_ me. God, is that how you know so much about everyone? You’re a stalker?”

“No! I’m not a stalker. Why would I be a stalker?”

“Um, because you’re a total creep? Now get lost!” Avalon put both of her hands onto Mortimus’s chest and shoved him away from her, then stormed past him while he staggered backwards from the force of her push.

It wasn’t until Mortimus had been standing there for almost a minute that it finally occurred to him where he was standing. If nothing else, Avalon was most certainly right about him making a big, embarrassing scene. Everyone from every school seemed to be staring at him, and as he took a step back, waddling like a penguin, they all glared, making it clear who they believed to be in the wrong.

Before they had a chance to fight him, Mortimus turned around and ran out of the room.

//

Drax took his time walking to the girls’ dormitory, praying the entire time that there would be no girls around. He did _not_ want to be caught sneaking around their dormitory like some sort of peeping tom, because he was not a creep like that. He respected women!

He stopped once he reached the door, then glanced over his shoulder and took one look at the keypad before he pulled out a screwdriver and ripped off the cover. Within seconds, he had the door open by only disconnecting a couple of wires. Easy.

He took one more quick look around the hall before he ducked into the room, his eyes scanning around for Ushas’s suitcase immediately. Thank god he watched Ushas pack the other day, otherwise he would have had no idea which suitcase hers was. As it was, he knew that hers was the black, leather, diamond studded one. It was really pretty, he had to admit. It certainly made his boring brown one look like piece of garbage.

“Hello!”

“Oh, my god!” Drax jumped backwards when a girl appeared on the top bunk of the bed in front of him, her long, dirty blond hair falling off of it. She didn’t jump off the bed, but sat on her stomach, looking down at him with her large, brown eyes. Drax clutched his chest as he attempted to regain his steady breathing.

“Ha ha!” The girl smiled at him. “Hello to you too, silly. What are you doing in here?”

“I’m, uh, I’m getting something for my friend,” Drax explained nervously. It was true, after all. He only hoped that it didn’t come off the wrong way. “She’s a girl, by the way.”

“Really?” She leaned on her elbow. “What’s her name?”

“Ushas.” He was surprised how fast he managed to get the word out. Normally, he stuttered and stammered when answering questions that were asked by complete strangers. Clearly, he was getting better at controlling his anxiety.

“Oh, really?”

“Yes, really. Do you know where her bunk is?”

The girl smiled at him mischievously. “If her name is really Ushas, then yes.”

“It is.” Drax reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone, then turned the screen to an image of him and Ushas holding their opposing report cards—a photograph she had forced him to take with her. “Look, credentials! Perfect scores on her side. Surely you’ve heard her bragging about how smart she is?”

“Judging by that description,” she giggled, “you definitely know her. Her stuff is by that big window over there. She said that it’s the best seat in the house to see us land. Makes you wonder why she wasn’t actually in here when we landed, huh?”

“Yeah, yeah, sure.” Drax didn’t pay too much attention to the girl as he dashed over to the bed and whipped open Ushas’s suitcase, then started to search through it for the things that he needed.

“What are you looking for?” the girl asked, her light voice trailing across the room to him.

He didn’t look up. “Just some stuff.”

“You’re not stealing, are you?”

“No. It’s not like I’m taking her knickers. I just need some explosives.” Suddenly, his eyes went wide. “Wait, is that worse?”

“Depends on what you need them for,” she answered.

“It’s a long story. Can you stop talking now?”

“No. What’s your name?”

He took a deep breath. He didn’t have time to waste on small talk with a strange girl. “Nothing that needs to be associated with this incident,” he said. “What’s yours?”

“Annistyn.” Her voice seemed to be getting louder. “I already know yours, by the way. I saw it on your phone when you showed me that picture. I just wanted to make conversation.”

“Yeah, why are you doing that? Shouldn’t you be at orientation?” Shirts, pants… he was in her clothes suitcase. Waste of time. He moved onto the next one.

“I’m sick,” she said innocently.

Drax scoffed. “They don’t let you out of orientation for being sick.”

“Oh. Then I guess I’m skipping.” She chuckled. “With all of those people, who’s even going to notice if I’m gone?”

“No one, I suppose. I mean, no one’s come after me yet.”

“Exactly.”

As Drax replaced his current suitcase and pulled out the next one, he felt a hand land on his head, and fingers run through his fluffy brown hair. He took a deep breath before turning to face her. Not to keep from yelling, but to brace himself for an uncomfortable conversation. Once he was ready, he turned around, effectively moving her hand away.

“Why are you touching my hair?” he demanded.

“It’s so shiny,” she said brightly. “What sort of product do you use?”

“It doesn’t matter. Just don’t touch it again.”

“Okay.”

It wasn’t until after Drax had turned away and started to process their conversation that he realized what he had been looking at and it made him freeze halfway through zipping up a suitcase.

Annistyn was still standing behind him, wearing only red, plaid pajama pants, and a flowery white bra. When he was talking to her, Drax had been looking at her tan, freckled face, but as soon as he had noticed her attire—or lack thereof—he feared that if he turned around, he would end up looking like the pervert that he was trying so hard not to be.

Drax rummaged through the last suitcase, trying to forget about the half-naked girl behind him. It seemed to be full of the science-y stuff that he was looking for, and he breathed a sigh of relief. He was one step closer to getting out of there.

He looked through the plastic bags, trying to find anything that he could get to explode, and pocketed the rubber bands as soon as he came across them. After what felt like years of searching, Drax finally came across a bag filled with a smoky black powder. He wasn’t entirely certain what was inside of it, but the label on it seemed to say that it was exactly what he was looking for.  


_WARNING: KEEP AWAY FROM FIRE (AND IDIOTS) (THAT MEANS YOU, DRAX)_  


Drax ignored the label and stuffed it into his pocket, then grabbed Ushas’s lighter as well. He would need that if he was going to start a fire. He pushed the bag back under the bed and stood up. He turned around quickly, and immediately regretted doing so.

“What?” asked Annistyn. “You look as though you’ve seen a ghost.”

“No,” he mumbled, keeping his eyes down as he walked past her, “just a woman.”

She feigned offense. “What, you don’t like me? That’s a shame. I thought that we could be friends.”

“I don’t think so.” He shook his head, preparing to leave the room. It wasn’t until he got to the door that he turned back again. “You’re not a Prydonian, are you?”

“Nope.” She shook her head, then pointed to a bracelet around her wrist. “Cerulean. You?”

“I am a Prydonian,” he said. He was planning to gesture to his robes, but quickly realized that he was not wearing them. He must have forgotten to put them back on in his rush to get away from Magnus. “I probably seem very pompous to you now, eh?”

“A little bit.” She shrugged, and her long hair bounced slightly. “That’s okay, though. I’m used to people being more important than me anyway. That’s what you get from being in the third lowest political party.”

“Yeah, I get that. It probably feels like the opposite of always being stereotyped as a pompous, arrogant fuckboy.”

Annistyn laughed. “Are you saying that you’re not?”

“Despite what you may think, no.” Drax shook his head, forgetting all about what he was meant to be doing. “I’m not really arrogant at all, honestly. Pax tells me that I don’t have enough confidence for that.”

“Oh, really?”

“No, I— Hey, whoa. I have to get going. He is actually going to be totally pissed off if I don’t get back there right now.” He turned back around and pulled the door open.

“Wait!” she called. Drax spun around to look at her, and she threw a crumpled-up paper ball at him, which he caught clumsily. “Those are my digits. Message me if you’re ever bored.”

Drax just smiled at Annistyn before he left the room. He wasn’t ready to give her his own number yet. Clearly, she wanted to talk to him again, but he wasn’t so sure if he wanted to talk to her yet. Why, he didn’t quite know, but he’d have time to figure that out later.

//

“I got the stuff!” Drax cried, running down the hallway. He felt bad after taking so long to look through Ushas's things, so he ran as fast as he could back to the cargo holds.

“Finally,” said Jelpax, crossing his arms. “You took forever. What were you doing?”

“Nothing.” He shrugged innocently. “Ushas has like a million bags and way too much stuff, so I had to go through all of it. Oh, and there was some girl in there, but I don’t think that she’s going to rat me out.”

Jelpax took a deep breath, and Drax could tell that he was not happy. “Please tell me that you didn’t spend all of that time talking to some girl.”

“I did not spend all of that time talking to some girl,” said Drax, somewhat forcibly. “Really. I only spent a couple of minutes talking to her, and that was mostly because she was doing weird things like touching my hair. Plus, she wasn’t wearing a shirt and stuff, so I was really trying to keep from looking at her.”

“Were you?” The sarcasm was not light in his comment.

“I was. Really! I didn’t want to look at that any more than you think I wanted to.” He furrowed his brow when Jelpax’s expression did not change. “Or something else because apparently you think that I did want to look at that?”

Jelpax rolled his eyes. “Drax, just forget about it for a while. We’ll come back to your new girlfriend later. Right now, let’s just bust this thing open. Hurry up.”

“She’s not my—Pax, I don’t even… whatever.” Drax sighed and shook his head. Jelpax was right, after all. They needed to get the door open. Besides, Jelpax was certain to bring it up again, at which point Drax could explain to him what actually happened, and that there was nothing happening between him and Annistyn.

Since he already knew what he had to do, it didn’t take Drax very long to set up the explosives. Once he was finished, he took a step back from his work and removed the lighter from his pocket. He frowned after a moment, then looked at Jelpax, his arms crossed.

“I didn’t get a fuse,” he said, his voice flat

“What?” Jelpax groaned. “All right, I’ll go find something. Don’t move.”

“It’s all right, we don’t really need one. I’ll just use the lighter and make a run for it.”

“Because that is both a very smart and a very safe idea.”

Drax rolled his eyes. “I’m not trying to be smart or safe, Pax. I’m just trying to get this door open. Now stand back. I don’t want you getting hurt when this thing blows.”

“Wait!” said Jelpax. He held up a hand. “How big is the explosion going to be, exactly?”

“Not too big. I’m only going after the lock, not the entire door. If I don’t move away fast enough then I’ll probably only lose my hand, or a couple of fingers.”

“You still need to move as fast as you can, Drax. I’m not going to be bringing your bloodied hand to the doctor, you hear?”

“Yeah, yeah. It’ll be fine. Just wait.”

Drax stretched out his arms, then clicked the lighter on and held it up close to the explosives. The rubber bands caught fire first, and he was just able to take three large steps back before the whole thing burst, sending both the lock and the handle flying off the door.

“Well, that was quite a blow,” said Drax. He stepped up to observe the hole in the door. “Good thing we weren’t standing in the way of those things, huh?”

Jelpax, who was standing in between where the smoking lock and the door handle had flown, did not look so pleased. “Right,” he agreed. “They didn’t even get close to us at all.”

He pulled the door open, careful not to burn his hand, and peered inside. He only poked his head in first, for fear of the fact that there might be someone else inside. It only took him a few minutes to realize that the fear was completely irrational, as anyone who was inside most certainly would have come after them after they blew the lock. So, with full confidence, Jelpax stepped into the room.

It was your basic storage room, to say the least. There were boxes everywhere, and no windows to be seen. And, there was a large gap in the middle of all the boxes, in which there were two chairs with two people seated atop them. Without a moment of hesitation, Jelpax went for Ushas first, knowing that untying Epsilon would be completely pointless.

He ripped the duct tape off her mouth first, and she spoke almost immediately when it was gone. If it had hurt to pull it off, she didn’t show it.

“Do my hands now. I need them a whole lot more than I need my mouth.”

“Yeah,” said Jelpax. He nodded. “Sometimes it would be nice if you just didn’t have a mouth.” He bent down to untie her arms. “You’re welcome, by the way.”

“Shut up.”

“Hey,” Drax called from the doorway, “don’t untie that. We could still use it.”

“The rope?” He raised an eyebrow. “One, for what? Two, I need to untie it if we’re going to use it. We can’t do anything with it if it’s holding Ushas to a chair.”

“That’s not what I meant, you idiot. I meant don’t untie it because we’re way better off with Ushas stuck in that chair. Though, that rope probably would have come in handy a few moments ago when we needed a fuse.”

“Shut up and get Epsilon out,” Ushas snapped.

“Or we could leave him tied up too,” Jelpax suggested, as he pulled the last of the rope off of Ushas’s wrists. There was a muffled squeal of protest from the boy in question, so Drax did as he was told and went to untie him. He too pulled off the duct tape first.

“Whew!” said Epsilon. “I didn’t think that I could hold my breath for that long.”

“What? When did you start holding it?” asked Drax.

“Um, when they put the tape there. Duh.”

Ushas rolled her eyes and yanked herself out of the chair as soon as Jelpax had freed her arms. “You didn’t hold your breath for twenty-six hours, you idiot. You were breathing through your nose. Your mouth isn’t the only place that you can breathe from, you know.”

“I did know.” Epsilon snorted. “It was supposed to be a really bad joke or… something.”

Jelpax ignored him. “What happened to you guys?” he asked Ushas. “Who did this?”

“I don’t know.” If it was possible, Ushas was even more irritated than normal, and seemed to be snapping at them every time that she opened her mouth. “Some guy? He wasn’t that fit, but he was really tall. He was wearing a suit, I know, but I couldn’t see his face.”

“I could,” Epsilon piped up. “I don’t remember how tall he was or what he was wearing or whatever, but I know that he was ugly as crap.”

“That was rude. He could have extremely low self-esteem, you know.”

“Yeah, probably because people tell him that he’s ugly all the time. Look, Ushas, if people are ugly, you can’t change it. Well, then again, yeah, I guess you can.” He shook his head, a confused expression on his face. “Poor old Lukri. Probably just waiting for the day he can regenerate.”

“Lukri?” Ushas stared at him; her jaw dropped. “You know who it was? How? He was wearing a mask!”

“Well, duh. It was Ummin’s friend, Lukriwavumred. And I know that he was wearing a mask. Moron.”

She sighed. “You are an idiot, Epsilon.”

“That I am, Ushas. That I am.”

//

“Theta?” Koschei poked his friend in the shoulder twice, to see if he could get a reaction. “Theta. Theta. Theta. Theta!”

Despite all of Koschei’s poking and prodding, Theta still refused to look at him. He had been completely quiet since they had left the closet the day before, and it was clear that Theta didn’t want to talk about those events at all. Even though Koschei tried to talk to him about other, funny things, Theta still ignored him. No matter what he said, his friend just didn’t want to listen.

“Fine, don’t talk to me. Just look at this amazing moon in utter silence.”

“I will, thank you,” said Theta.

“Ha!” Koschei stopped walking down the stony metallic path and pointed at him, a grin on his face. “You talked!”

“And being an ass is the perfect way to get me to do it more.” The sarcasm was not light in his statement. In fact, he seemed to lay it on extra thick just for emphasis.

Koschei was used to Theta making comments like that, but he was not used to him being upset when he made them. Normally, Koschei would have responded rudely right back, but he knew that it was not a good time to be behaving like that. He bit back his own remark and sighed.

“I’m sorry, Thete,” he said. “You know I’m an idiot.”

“Yeah, I do. That’s why I’m torturing you by pretending to be really upset.”

“What?!”

Theta shrugged, a content smile suddenly replacing the grim one on his face. “Well, I’m not really upset anymore. I just wanted you to feel bad about yesterday and I knew that this would work, so yeah. I’m done with it now, though. This place is _way_ too cool to bother moping around. I want to run around and touch everything!”

Without thinking, Koschei reached out and grabbed him by the shoulders. “That’s a really terrible idea,” he said. “Don’t do it.”

“I wasn’t actually going to.” He pulled away. “I only said that I wanted to. And anyway, you need to lighten up, Kos. We’re not here to follow the rules, we’re here to explore and have fun!”

“I’m pretty sure that’s the opposite of the Prydonians’ intentions, Thete.”

He shrugged. “I’m not talking about the Prydonians’ intentions, Kos. In fact, fuck them and their intentions. I’m talking about my own personal intentions and plans. AKA, the best intentions and the best plans.”

“No, I think you mean the worst intentions and the worst plans.” Koschei may have been Theta’s partner in crime through most of those plans, but he wasn’t above admitting that most of them were terrible.

“Yeah, whatever. Let’s just go. Come on.”

He ran off down the path and Koschei followed close behind him, ready to explore the fifteenth broken moon of the Medusa Cascade.

//

“So, what do you want to look at first?”

Rallon still wasn’t sure how he ended up alone with Millennia as they walked around on the fifteenth broken moon of the Medusa Cascade. He counted himself extremely lucky that he was able to spend some quality time with her, even if it wasn’t exactly the way that he would have liked to (that way being, of course, that they were walking around on an official date).

It wasn’t a remarkable location, which was the only reason he was pleased that it _wasn’t_ their first date. The path was crummy, and the moon’s surface was covered in dust which he could only see because of the shoddily installed lampposts and was almost certain that the area had been designed by Scendeles. He nearly said something about it but chose not to. Millennia was too nice to make fun of other peoples.

“I don’t know,” said Rallon. “Maybe this dust? Or that dust. Oh, wait, look! A lamppost!”

Millennia laughed. “You’re funny, Rallon.”

He must have blushed with more intensity than all the fire of a thousand suns. “Thanks.” He smiled awkwardly. “So, for real, do you want to just like, take a walk? I’m sure that we’ll find something interesting if we just walk for long enough. And I can’t imagine that we’ll get lost. I mean, look at this place! It’s a flat surface for miles. The only people who would be fascinated by this are Ushas and Theta.”

“I don’t know, I think it’s all right.”

“Yeah, me too.” The words left his mouth before he intended to lie. Millennia had some kind of charming power over him that almost forced him to agree with her. “Ready to go?”

She slipped an arm around his. “Absolutely.”

//

Magnus wouldn’t have noticed Mortimus coming into the room if he hadn’t sighed as loud as he did. It was something that Mortimus had learned to do when he wanted attention, as he discovered that if he was loud enough and annoying enough, nobody could ignore him. Even if they didn’t want to have a conversation, they would still need to tell him to shut up, which was all the interaction Mortimus needed.

“Oh, my god, Mortimus. Shut the hell up.”

“I’m glad you asked,” Mortimus said dramatically, as if Magnus had said something completely different. “Well, to tell you the truth, Avalon just broke up with me. I mean, it was a few hours ago, before orientation, but it was for real! She told me that we are never, _ever_ getting back together. Well, not really, but I could see it in her eyes, you know?”

“No.” Magnus’s voice was flat. He was not in the mood for dealing with Mortimus—not that there had ever been a time when he was.

Though they had technically been friends since their early days at the Academy, Mortimus and Magnus had never really gotten along. In fact, Magnus hated Mortimus so much when they first started sharing a room together, he would not speak to him until three weeks after they met. At that point, he only bothered speaking to him because the Headmaster would not agree to let him swap roommates with someone else.

After that, Magnus continued to resent Mortimus; while Mortimus, in turn, began to depend on Magnus for many things, including emotional support. It was a strange situation, but it had been that way for many years, and it wasn’t about to change any time soon. Not unless one of the boys made a significant change in how he operated, and that wasn’t going to happen.

“Well, I could,” said Mortimus. He sighed dramatically once more. “See it in her eyes, I mean. God, I just wish that there was some way that I could get her back.”

“There might be.” Magnus didn’t actually care one little bit about Mortimus’s love life, but if he could convince him to go after Avalon, then he would no longer be in there bothering Magnus. “What exactly did you do to her? Was it the same thing that you always do?”

“No, not exactly. I actually stalked her and then did all of the creepy stuff that I usually do.”

“What? You stalked her?”

“Yeah, but it wasn’t as bad as last time, I swear.”

“Oh, really?” His voice was dripping with sarcasm.

“No, it was worse.”

A long silence fell between them while Magnus attempted to figure out what to tell him. He wasn’t sure what he could say to Mortimus to make him go after her, especially since he had added stalking to his usual creepy breakup shenanigans. After that, there was no way that Avalon was going to take him back, and Magnus couldn’t even think of a way to make it seem as if she would. Then again, he thought, Mortimus _was_ extremely gullible.

“Okay,” he said, “you know what? I think that you can fix this. Just go tell her that you didn’t mean to do it. You were really high, and you weren’t thinking straight and now you’re ready for her to meet the real you.”

“You really think that would work?” asked Mortimus, his eyes lighting up.

Clearly, he was still as ignorant as always. “Sure, why not?”

//

As they walked down the non-existent path, Ushas and Epsilon attempted to recount exactly what had happened leading up to their kidnapping. For once, Ushas allowed Epsilon to go first, hoping that he would be honest in his explanation.

“Well,” he began, “I believe it all started when Ushas sought me out. She was looking for someone to hang out with because she was really lonely. When she found me, she—”

“Did not dramatically hug you, if you’re going in that direction,” Ushas snapped. She crossed her arms. “That’s not what happened at all. He actually sought _me_ out because he was having trouble answering the questions on his questionnaire—the one that you failed, Drax—and he wanted to know what he was supposed to write down. Of course, I told him—”

“That you were lying,” said Epsilon, cutting her off. “That’s not what happened at all. Ushas is totally making things up. I didn’t seek her out because I wanted to know what to write on the questionnaire! Who doesn’t know the answers to those things? They’re all super obvious. Only an idiot—like you, Drax—could manage to mess that thing up.”

Drax looked away to hide his flushed face, and Jelpax patted him on the shoulder lightly to reassure him.

“Without throwing anyone under the bus,” said Jelpax, “or be rude just for the sake of being a jerk, can you explain what happened?”

“Okay.” Ushas took a deep breath. “I think that it all started when Epsilon ran into me in the hall. Literally.”

Epsilon shrugged. “I was trying to see how fast I could run up and down the hallway in my socks and then she rounded the corner and I ran into her. I tried to blame it on Ummins, but he ran away.”

“He’s not real. We all know he’s not real.”

“He is too!”

“Anyway,” Jelpax prompted, not wanting to listen to another argument between the two of them.

“ _Anyway_ ,” said Ushas, “he started following me around after that, because he was the lonely one and he didn’t have anything to do.”

“Yeah, because Ummins left,” Epsilon added. “I didn’t do it because I was trying to be a creepy stalker or anything. I’m not Mortimus.”

“What do you mean?” asked Drax. He quickly glanced over to Jelpax, hoping that he wouldn’t get in trouble for the sudden change of subject. He didn’t.

Epsilon furrowed his brow. “You didn’t hear yet? I thought that news spread like wildfire.”

“Nope.”

“That new girlfriend of his totally dumped him in front of the entire school because he was a creepy, clingy stalker.”

“How?” Drax shook his head, trying to wrap his mind around the idea. “I mean, I know that he’s creepy, we all do, but how could he become so clingy that he would actually stalk her in the two days that they’ve been dating?”

Epsilon shrugged. “Beats me. I’m just reiterating what I heard. I could be saying this all completely wrong for all I know. I’m an idiot, after all. I don’t remember things very well.”

“That’s true,” said Ushas. She rolled her eyes. “Anyway, should we get back to the story?”

Jelpax nodded. “Yes. I want to know what happened without all of the interruptions and unnecessary insults. I can tell when you’re exaggerating to make each other look bad, you know.”

“Whatever,” she scoffed. “So, after that I went to go get some breakfast, since it was still pretty early, and Epsilon followed me there and ate with me. There was no conversation, I’ll tell you, but he did eat at my table. The other end of the table, that is.”

“We get it,” said Drax. “Go on.”

“So, then he followed me out of the cafeteria—”

“—and some guy drugged us,” Epsilon finished. “Seriously. Completely unprovoked. We were just walking and then he drugged us, and we woke up and we were tied to those chairs! It was totally nuts.”

“Or it would be, if that was what actually happened,” said Ushas. “I doubt that it was unprovoked. Honestly, I think that Epsilon did something stupid and that Lukri guy was getting back at him for it.”

“Though that seems like something I would do, I didn’t. I only make people mad if I can take them in a fight. That guy was twice my size; even my karate skills wouldn’t have been able to stop him. That makes my commonsense radar go off. AKA, it tells me not to make him mad.” He grinned slyly. “So maybe it was you who pissed him off and you’re trying to cover it up by blaming it on me.”

“As if. What would I do to make someone mad? Everybody loves me.”

It wasn’t two seconds later when all three of the boys burst into laughter. Epsilon doubled over, clutching his stomach as he tried to stop himself from laughing.

Jelpax, meanwhile, wiped the tears from his eyes “God, Ushas,” he said. “That was a good laugh. You want to tell us another one?”

Ushas slapped him across the shoulder. “Shut up, you idiot,” she snapped. “I’m trying to be serious here.”

“Then why did you just say that everyone loves you?” Drax snorted. “That’s the biggest crock of tosh I’ve ever heard.”

She rolled her eyes. “Whatever. You guys are idiots.”

“Yeah.” Epsilon nodded, then stopped walking and looked out into the distance. “Oh, there are my friends! I’m going to go catch up with them. I’ll see you guys later.”

Ushas said nothing to him as he ran off, but Drax and Jelpax both forced a smile and a wave. After all, he might have been annoying, but it wasn’t as if he had actually done anything wrong that day.

“Well,” said Ushas, “now that he’s gone, we can actually start to appreciate the glorious place that we are standing in. Did either of you bring your study guides?”

Neither Drax nor Jelpax had a chance to respond before Mortimus popped up behind them. There was someone else trailing a few feet behind him, who he pointed to once he got close enough.

“Look who I found!” Mortimus exclaimed. “It’s Vansell!”

“Oh, thank you for telling me,” said Jelpax. “How did you know that I forgot how to use my eyes?”

As Vansell hadn’t forgotten how to use his own, he rolled them dramatically. “Are you actually able to speak without sass, wit, or sarcasm?” he asked.

“No. It would be against my nature.”

Drax smiled, but Vansell just sighed. He opened his mouth to speak but stopped when he saw two people in the distance walking over towards them. He waved to Theta and Koschei, and the five of them walked down the invisible path to meet them halfway in the middle. Koschei was silent when they reached each other, but Theta was bursting with energy and looked like he was ready to run laps around the moon.

“Hey, guys!” he said. “What are you all doing?”

“We’re just walking around,” Drax answered. “Ushas was telling us a story but then she finished, and we were arguing, and then Mortimus and Vansell showed up out of nowhere behind us and spooked Ushas. Although, you know that she isn’t about to admit to it.”

“I did not!” Ushas snapped.

“Yeah, you did.” Jelpax turned to face her, his arms crossed against his slender chest. “You practically leapt out of your shoes when you heard Mortimus speak.”

She rolled her eyes. “Come on, idiots. Let’s just go. I want to see more of the moon before we have to leave. You know that we only have a few hours, right?”

They did not know that, nor did they care. Nevertheless, all of them followed her as she walked in the direction that Theta and Koschei had come from. They followed her for a few minutes before they came across Magnus, who refused to join their group. However, Mortimus ran over and latched onto his arm, forcing him to join in on their group walk. He looked like he wanted to die the entire time, but he stayed with them anyway.

Ushas led them to a thing she called the “dip pit”. It was apparently called that for some reason or another, which neither Theta nor Koschei decided to listen to. She expected the location to be busy, as it was one of the most exciting locations within a reasonable distance from where they had landed the ship, but only two people were there. They were sitting on the edge of the pit, their legs dangling over the side. Rallon was the first one to stand up when he heard the bustle of chatter behind them.

“Hello!” he said awkwardly. He rubbed the back of his neck in the way that he always did when he was uncomfortable, then walked over to greet them. Millennia turned around to see who he was talking to, then stood up as well. “What are you lot doing here? Bit of a big group to be wandering around.”

“I would be on my own if I could, but…”

Koschei shot Ushas a look. “No, you want us all to be here,” he said. “You’ve loved playing tour guide for us these last several minutes. We know you too well, Ushas, so you might as well just be honest about it.”

“Okay, I liked it a bit.” She smiled slyly. “But it’s just because you guys don’t care so you don’t interrupt me to ask questions, not because I like you. I am definitely not doing this to spend time with you. I just like the educational experience.”

“Yeah, right.” Theta bumped her in the arm, and she backed away, almost as if she had been burned. “We know that you love us. Otherwise you wouldn’t keep hanging out with us.”

Ushas wouldn’t admit it, but it was true. The Deca was not just a few people that she knew, or even a group of friends. They had become more than that over their short time at the Academy, and as they stood there, staring over the dip pit, she realized that she thought of them as a family. Of course, it was not something that she would ever, ever say aloud, but it was true.

Millennia didn’t walk over to join the group, but stayed standing a foot back from the edge, closer to Rallon. She waved for the others to come over and check out the scene, and they did. Some of them were intrigued by the shallow, colorful-sand-filled pit (mostly Ushas and Jelpax), and some of them literally couldn’t have cared less (mostly Magnus and Drax), but they all stood there anyway.

“Look at us,” said Millennia. “We’re just the nicest group of friends in the universe, aren’t we?”

Drax shook his head. “No, we’re the most difficult group of troublemakers in the universe. Nice sentiment, though.”

“I think that Millennia is right,” Theta argued. He looked from left to right, scanning over the faces of all the other members of the Deca. None of them spoke, so he went on. “I mean, we’re great friends. Really great friends. I don’t think that there’s anyone else outside the Deca who’s—”

“Okay, blah, blah, blah.” Mortimus rolled his eyes. “Are you ever going to stop? Because this is nice and all, but I can’t be the only one dying to jump into that pit right now.”

Vansell turned to him, an odd look on his face. “Mortimus, there is literally a sign right there that says, ‘do not climb in the dip pit’. Are you blind?”

“No. That’s Jelpax.” If Jelpax was offended, he did not show it on his face. “Look at it! That colorful shitload of sand is just _screaming_ for someone to dive into it. Sign or no sign, I’m going in. Who’s with me?”

Drax was, of course, his first volunteer, followed closely by Theta and Koschei. Ushas couldn’t believe that they were going along with it, especially when they all ended up jumping down into the shallow pit in teams of one and two. Eventually, she was the only person left standing there, watching as all her friends—even the most respectful of them—threw and kicked the previously undisturbed sand at each other.

She wondered if anyone else had ever done the same thing before. Surely, they weren’t the first ones to break the rules; with the people they allowed onto the field trips, at least one Scendel must have missed the sign unintentionally, not to mention the past troublemakers who had been in there before. But she couldn’t imagine that any of them looked so happy as her friends.

The way they bustled around was like something out of a movie—kicking sand, and it flying through the air and being blown away by the shallow wind. It was a great sight, and she almost wanted to break the rules and join them, but she couldn’t do it. She couldn’t bear to bend the rules and throw away her hard-earned character.

“Ushas!” Koschei waved to her, his black hair filled with sand. “We’re doing teams and ours is uneven. Come on!”

She stared at them for a moment, Theta, Koschei, Drax, and Jelpax on one side, and Mortimus, Magnus, Millennia, Rallon, and Vansell on the other. They all looked back at her, waiting to see if she was going to join or not, and finally, she sighed and took a step forward. The moment that she strode past the warning sign was the moment that her life changed forever. She felt almost freer somehow.

“Hell, yeah!”

They went at it for what felt like ages; pushing, shoving, and playing around like little time tots. Vansell expressed on multiple occasions that he felt like an idiot, but every time that he did, Drax kicked sand at him and he got right back into the game. They fought, screamed, laughed, cried, and in that short half an hour, managed to capture everything that made the Deca what it was.

Because Ushas was right; it was more than just a clique. It was fun, danger, skill, intelligence, and friendship all rolled into one. It was the very thing that people wanted to find when they searched for their second family. And even though they had a formal name, it was so much more than could be explained through descriptions or words, especially ones nearly irrelevant to what they had become. Because, no matter where they got their start, they weren’t just an academic squad anymore. They were a found family of troublemakers, home to the greatest friends in the universe.

They were the Deca.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To everyone who has made it this far, thank you so much for reading!
> 
> If you enjoyed this not-so-little story about the Deca and their shenanigans, please be sure to keep an eye out for series two, which is currently in production and will premiere this September, 2019. Series two will develop deeper plotlines started here in series one, give attention to more Academy-era side characters, and include even more ridiculous shenanigans than ever.
> 
> Although the first chapter has come to an end, the Deca's story is far from over, and I guarantee it will be worth the wait.


End file.
